1^st May 2024, 9:31 am

Forum Gallery Archives Members

I got excited and some code fell out

Notebook Letters 7.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Nov 2010 at 11:25 pm

River Phoenix

Paddy Irishman I would join the army but the camouflage isn't my colour.

I'd drive my car, but I've lost my khaki.

Emma-The-Li'l'-Angel Is this the way to Amarillo? Actually, I'm a bit lost...

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Lamboa Mu I like seafood, bunnies and German countesses.

Thank you for clearing that up.

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 1/8.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Nov 2010 at 11:33 pm

River Phoenix

* nazis coined the term coventrierung (literally, to coventrate) to describe total annihilation of a city- Coventry- through aerial bombardment.

* One in five people only clean their homes at weekends.

* A cat's tongue moves at one metre per second when lapping milk.

* The tomb of the unknown soldier was originally the idea of a padre called David Railton.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 12th of November, 2010; 2/3.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Nov 2010 at 11:38 pm

River Phoenix

What A Load of H*ll*o**s!

I remember there was a tale about a Zine swearword. Well, I can say that I have come up with a worthy solution. Hollyoaks. Think about it. It is a subject that some people don't like to talk about- it's that much of a taboo.

Plus if you're a struggling actor and the only role you can get is in Hollyoaks, then surely that is an affront to your so-called talents. Or something like that.

The Owl of Bewilderment

Ever see Crossroads? Next to that, Hollyoaks was Shakespeare.

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 12:04 am

River Phoenix

* Aerial mass acrobatics performed by starlings at this time of year are called "murmurations".

* Bush crickets have the biggest testicles of any animal, in relation to body weight.

* People daydream for nearly half of their walking hours.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 12th of November, 2010; 3/3.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 1:27 pm

River Phoenix

Goon Shows

They needed mentioning (apparently), so here goes. I bought a couple of them on CD for my dad's birthday and they really are quite weird, aren't they?

I mean, when they say things like: "Take these flies out and sell them", it's a wonder these people were never locked up.

They make the Little Britain guys look normal and well balanced.

Daggsy

Prince Charles likes The Goons. That explains quite a lot.

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 1:33 pm

River Phoenix

Who else has had a surreal musical experience? I took my digital radio with me on a trip to Jerusalem last week and found Daddy's Gone by Glasvegas on a Hebrew indie station. Imagine hearing a broad Scouse accent and shoegazing guitars whilst walking by The Kotel. It's still bending my head. Johnny Decibel

The song Gav enquired about is Shooting Star, from Air Traffic's excellent album Fractured Life. Jen Price

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 1/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 5:59 pm

River Phoenix

I've Cracked It

I'll not beat around the bush. WLW is... Peter Crouch, the soccer "sensation".

Think about it, man. He's so tall. Tall like... a giraffe! Don't think I don't know your game, WLW.

Random Ziner of t'week- Toenail Clippings. Your lucky colour- grellow.

farmer jack

Huh! I want to play for a better team than Southampton!

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 6:04 pm

River Phoenix

Do Radio 1 DJs not realise we only tolerate their cack jokes on the off-chance of hearing some music? The name "Scott Mills" alone makes me want to puke. Is he sponsored by Heat magazine to mention it so much? Elmo

A question for those who are buying chinese democracy: how many of you are guns'n'roses fans, who's doing it out of curiosity (morbid or otherwise) and who's buying it as they need valid proof of its existence? Tyler Durden

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 2/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 6:08 pm

River Phoenix

To The Tune...

Of 'Oh Christmas Tree'

Oh Easter eggs, oh Easter eggs
You truly are delightful
Oh Easter eggs, oh Easter eggs
Your poetry is insightful
You melt in heat, but are immune to noise
Which is why you are loved by all the boys
Oh Easter eggs, oh Easter eggs
I am sick of Easter eggs!! Woo!

The Suited Stranger

Er, is this some kind of a yolk?

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 7:10 pm

River Phoenix

"Suicide is up/ Ma dug is gettin thin/ Hide the silverware afore I dae mesel in." Those Glasvegas Christmas songs write themselves, eh? Glasgow Ella

It's great to see Comsat Angels get a mention on The Void. A similarly great band of the ear, The Godfathers, have reformed with their original line- up and have stacks of great songs. If Only i Had Time and i Want Everything are particular gems. Marc Stevens

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 3/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 7:23 pm

River Phoenix

The Switch In My House

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.

Every so often I flick on and off, just to check.

Yesterday I got a call from a woman in France. She said: "Cut it out".

Lord Charles

No, she probably said "Arretez, s'il vous plait!"

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 7:28 pm

River Phoenix

New topic: Who do Voiders consider to be a forgotten great? Although the press often write about them, the public seem to have forgotten about Roxy Music, who have influenced a wide variety of bands before they split in 1982. I can't wait for the comeback album. Peter Chambers

I'd like to plug The Besnard Lakes, as I can't recall seeing them mentioned here. Check out You Lied To Me by Canada's finest. James Atkinson

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 4/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 8:33 pm

River Phoenix

I'm All Confused

A friend of mine recently showed me Zine for the first time and I find it very confusing.

Who are these bizarre people who write in, and what do they want? What does WLW stand for? And who would want to write to a giraffe for advice, anyway?

I expect you to answer all of these questions in a few pithy words at the bottom of the page.

Merson's Swansong

You know what, I've been here for years, and still find it confusing.

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 8:39 pm

River Phoenix

Rage Against The Machine were a political band, whose lyrics were eant to shock and expose so that people in power would take note. It's hip hop acts who tak about killing for fun who should be banned. If more bands had a political message to offer youth then, just maybe, music could change the world for the better. Micky Brown

I'd like to recommend Microastles by Deerhunter. It takes a few listens, but is worth it. Johnny PS

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 5/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 8:44 pm

River Phoenix

Gracious Thanks, Espie...

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Esperanza, my new comely maid, who furnished me with a glorious cream Easter egg as a present.

I gave her a rendition of sea shanties on my ukelele for her delectation and I must admit she was most impressed.

I can't wait for the summer so I can take the cover off the swimming pool. The water pool will be most edifying.

The Brigadier

Brig, are you any relation to the Major in Fawlty Towers?

Zine; 28th of March, 2005; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 8:56 pm

River Phoenix

I have a habit of getting into bands long after everyone else does, The Feeling being a case in point.

Fill My Little World irritated the h*ll out of me when it came out. Then I heard the rest of the album last year, and fell in love with it. Join With Us is one of my albums of the year and it's sad the public are neglecting them. Dan Gillespie Sells is a fantastic writer and they're brilliant live. New Rave Snail

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2008; 6/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 9:01 pm

River Phoenix

Meet Truth Wart This page is very interesting. Just in case you don't know irony, I was using sarcasm.

And I find you very interesting as well.

Princess Psycho If you change just two road signs in Oxford, you'll have everyone going round in circles.

They'll run out of petrol eventually.

chinese democrat My sense of smell is better than it used to be. Am I going the same way as jack nicholson in wolf?

Grrr, you crazed creature of the night.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 9:43 pm

River Phoenix

Ooh, WLW

Insinuating I'm not to be trusted, are you? Kids, don't listen, it's only because when s/he was in the jungle, all the leopards taunted WLW for being tall, being able to talk... and knowing how to edit Teletext.

But I'm different. We can both be freaks of nature together. I'm purple, for crying out loud. And I don't eat giraffe, anyway.

lilac leopard

Calm down, leopard, don't dig up the past- my jungle days are long gone.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 9:47 pm

River Phoenix

Quarantine survivors?

Is there a need to tell us no one survives in Quarantine? This has been a subject in Vortex before and for some reason you always deny it. Simon, Egham

Vortex: The film's promo tagline makes it clear no one survives.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2008; 1/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

13^th Nov 2010 at 9:58 pm

River Phoenix

Cooking

You're not alone, Satan's Little Helper, my mum too thought it would be beneficial to teach me to cook. I think she now realises the errors of her ways. To date I've burnt five attempts at toast, ruined three lots of pasta, created the new dish of 'runny egg mush' as opposed to scrambled eggs, and somehow completely destroyed Angel Delight.

I am now banned from the kitchen.

The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin

Keep practising on toast- trust me. It's really not that difficult.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Nov 2010 at 4:54 pm

River Phoenix

Grindhouse recommendeed

I recently purchased the Japanese six-disc Grindhouse double-feature box set from yesasia.com. It's fantastic, and only cost £50! I'd recommend it to any Tarantino/ Rodriguez fans. Christopher Evans

David, I saw the Transporter films recently and I think they're OTT, throwaway silliness. QoS to me was a mess. Sade, Ess*x

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2008; 2/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Nov 2010 at 5:08 pm

River Phoenix

Headey as Lara Croft?

If the powers-that-be do decide to make another Lara Croft film, I think Lena Headey would be good in the role. Frank, Glasgow

Worst film casting has to be the always poor Heather Graham in From H*ll. Sticking in the odd "ain't" doesn't make up for a poor London accent. Woody

Worst accent in a film? Tommy Lee Jones's Irish/ Cornish/ German effort in Blown Away takes some beating. Anon

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2008; 3/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Nov 2010 at 11:42 pm

River Phoenix

Out of Date

Walking down the street, I saw a sign on a corner shop which read: "Some of our products are beyond their sell-by date. Do not worry, as this means nothing. Sell-by dates are all fake."

Great. Now I can eat that two year old cheese I was worried about.

The Friendly Prophet of Doom

That's good of you to keep it- they broke the mould when they made you.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Nov 2010 at 11:52 pm

River Phoenix

X-Files fan complains

Yet again Teletext has done a disservice to The X Files in its review of i Want To Believe. This time the DVD, still claiming a film about aliens would have been "truer to the franchise". Are you aware that over two-thirds of episodes were about other subjects? Havee you even seen the TV series? Jamie, Bristol

The new Star Trek movie looks nothing short of effing awesome. Roll on.May 2009. Gary Makin, Liiverpool

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25thh of November, 2008; 4/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 12:02 am

River Phoenix

One Hundsred Thingys

Here are some suggestions for those 100 list thingys:

100 Most Random Letters on Zine
100 Most Sarcastic WLW Quotations
100 Most Obviously Edited Zine Letters
100 Most Used Topics on Zine
100 Greatest Ziners

I think it's obvious who many would regard as the greatest Ziner...

Anime Buddy

Answer on 100 postcards, giraffelets. Sarcastic quotation from me on page 1.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 12:35 am

River Phoenix

Fave films of 2008

Re: fave film. I loved Batman, Indy 4, Wanted, H*llboy 2 and Donkey Punch. But my fave film of all has to be Teeth. Very funny and disturbing at the same time. Mike, Derby

Steve Thomson and holier than tho Vortex, if you are going to write about animal killing to the BBFC can I assume you don't eat meat? If you do, then that is hypocritical. Rebecca Nahid, Hants

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2008; 5/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 12:38 am

River Phoenix

Credit Where It's Due

I've thought of the perfect motto for Zine: "It may be rubbish but at least it's original."

I'd like to give credit to elden ray for giving me the idea.

Gangrene

That is an original letter you sent and yes, it sure is rubbish as well.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 12:46 am

River Phoenix

Holocaust a cruel film

Cannibal Holocaust is a film which crosses the acceptable line between fantasy and reality. Fake, fantasy film violence is a healthy outlet everyone should experience, for its catharsis.

Holocaust not only contains real acts of cruelty to animals, but in its depiction of these acts asks the audience to join in to commit cruelty ourselves. Holocaust is a movie I wish I had not seen. t rivers, suss*x

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2008; 6/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:28 pm

River Phoenix

Time For A Change

After taking a personality test on the web and deemed paranoid, avoidant and obsessive, I decided it was time to change.

So I went outside on my own, threw out my shrine to a certain Finnish band, and decided to write to Zine.

I'm rather pleased with myself.

Heartagramster

Welcome to Zine and well done on finally finishing with the Finnish.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:36 pm

River Phoenix

I'm no Leona Lewis fan. But anyone who can keep the high priestess of bland, Dido, from No 1 in the album charts has my thanks. PJ Fry

None of Girls Aloud are "stick insects". They have normal figures. It's a shame Nahid feels the need for body fascism. No one used to say this kind of stuff when, back in the '70s, David Bowie and robert plant were dangerously thin. Nahid should desist from her destructive pursuit. Croydon Ian

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2008; 1/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:42 pm

River Phoenix

Lucky Dip

A flaw with this is that it's totally misleading. You spend money to have the chance to win a prize, and if you win you are supposedly lucky. But consider this: if one person wins, what about all the others? Aren't they technically unlucky, to have gzmbled and lost?

Incidentally, the only game of chance I remember ever winning was Russian Roulette. Funny story that- I'll tell it to you sometime.

Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller

At my local fair there's an unlucky dip- everyone's a loser.

Zine; 29th of March, 2005; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:47 pm

River Phoenix

It's been 17 years of heartache and pain, but axl rose is singing like an angel again. Let's make it sooner next time. 2005? Buck Rogers ain't to blame. Rob Marmite

I can't wait for Ocean Colour Scene's guitarist Steve Craddock's solo album early next year. He's one of this country's finest guitarist, not to mention that he's been carrying Paul Weller's career for the past 10 years or so. Bradders

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2008; 2/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:51 pm

River Phoenix

Inky Dinky You and lilac leopard seem to be very accident-prone, WLW. Is it a spotty critter thing?

Sorry, what? Just stuck a broom in my ear.

Vigilante Maelstrom They don't call me Mr Cool for nothing, you know. No, it usuall costs me at least £5.

It cost me £5.25. Tut.

farmer insomnia-jack Tell the lovely Ziners what time it was when, I sent this, WLW. Tell them!

Have you tried counting giraffes to go to sleep?

Zine; 31st of March, 2005; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 8:57 pm

River Phoenix

To any prog fans, check out Keith Emerson's new album, Emerson Featuring Marc Bonilla. It's a bit ELP all over again. Harry Tenby

Having just got back from New York, where I saw AC/DC twice, I'd like to assure any doubters that they're still the best live band on the planet. Angus Young may have lost a bit of hair, but the band have lost nowt else. They're bang on form. Go and see them here in April. Bon's Pint

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2008; 3/7.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 9:08 pm

River Phoenix

A Cunning Plan

I notice that in magazines these days they often offer prizes in return for pictures of ordinary people who resemble famous people.

So, send in a picture of a minor celebrity (say, anyone who has been in a reality TV programme), and say that this celebrity is your friend and looks like whoever... the trickery.

chinese democrat

I have a friend who looks like Lizzie Bardsley, or vice versa?

Zine; 31st of March, 2005; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Nov 2010 at 9:14 pm

River Phoenix

I'd already bought Duke Special's new album before seeing the PS News piece about the painting competition that's running with it. It's one of the year's best albums. Chas & Morph

I don't know why people are being so negative towards Keane and coldplay's new album, they're both different and fresh. But I was disappointed by Kaiser Chiefs' and Razorlight's albums, and I've now given up on Oasis. Indiegirl

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2008; 4/7.

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

Debs|OWA: o/

IGH: Wibble

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

Page: