Notebook Letters 7.

My cat list

My last list was about fictional cats. As far as i know, Medulla is real. So that's why i couldn't includer her in my list, WLW.

However, i wish that i'd remembered to include Top Cat.

That was a bit stupid.

Aphra The Post-modern Spy

OK, good point. She is real and has just had Top Cat round for coffee.

Zine; 10th of March, 2005; 7/8.

Comment ca va?

Is the Zine truly unique in the world?

I haven't seen anything like it in the countries I've been to.

The French Cat Lover

We often get into our teleporter pod and visit Ontario and Munich.

Zine; 10th of March, 2005; 8/8.

Satan's Little Helper Never, ever let me touch the oven again.
Do not even let me consider baking. It always goes wrong.

You're not supposed to get in!

Lord Charles I was walking down the road and saw a sign on a post. It said: "If found, just keep it".

I felt like treating people.

Daggsy Why are croutons posh? Isn't it stale bread?

Ah, but do you have a stale bread cuber?

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 1/8.

Jaffa Tree

Well... so many Ziners seem to love Jaffa cakes (including myself), I wonder if there is a Jaffa tree that grows in the mists of the unknown?

Its fruits are of course, the cakes we know and love. Anyone want to go Jaffa tree hunting with me?

It will be fun- Honest!

The Slug of Great Peril

You don't need to sell it to me. I'm there already. Er, not really.

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 2/8.

From Your Fave Chair, WLW

Here is a list of the all-time greatest Ziners:

1. farmer jack
2. Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller
3. lilac leopard
4. The Brigadier (where are you?)
5. Freshly Squeezed Cynic
6. Wonky Gnome
7. Spiky Stuy
8. He Who Loves To Skank
9. The DeLorean
10. big bob flapper

Interesting Chair

I'd like to know what criteria you based that list on.

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 3/8.

I Don't Understand

So, Davord went into hibernation in the top right hand corner and dyed his hair blue.

Now Mavis, his replacement, has pierced her tongue and called herself Medulla.

I really don't get it- but at least nobody talks about Marcel anymore.

Matthias Mortimer Zulu

Marcel went and joined a kibbutz in Southern Israel, silly.

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 4/8.

Perils of Ice Cream

D*mn you, Magnum Classic! Why can't you be Magnum Caramel?

Do you reckon if I put it under if I put it under enough volcanic pressure, it'll change, the way rocks do?
Francesca Manfranjensen

No. It will melt.

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 5/8.

Life

It's odd, isn't it? Born, live a bit, die. Same for everything, be ye animal, plant. So we may as well enjoy what we've got, so why are we all working? Come on, let's all take up sky diving, hang-gliding or other interesting activities. Or just the lazy version.

But scrap work- it's bad. I'm actually starting to enjoy ironing now. Scary thought. But the steamy pleasures of flattening clothes...

elden ray

I love doing mine with a Magnum Classic in hand.

Zine; 13th of March, 2005; 6/8.

Another great band were The Sound, with an awesome frontman in Adrian Borland. Check out the underrated album From The Lion's Mouth. You won't be disappointed. H*llraiser

What are Voiders' favourite years for classic albums? Mine is 1997. The Prodigy's Fat of The Land, U2's Pop, Foo Fighters' Colour And The Shape, Radiohead's OK Computer, Stereophonics' Word Gets Around and, dare I say it, Oasis' Be Here Now. Pat Palloon

The Void; Teletext page 825; 22nd of November, 2008; 4/7.

I have read a lot of reviews of The Killers' new album Day And Age, and they have ranged from giving it 4 to 5 out of 5 stars. Then I had the misfortune to read Kat Lister's ridiculous review on Planet Sound. Is she trying to be clever at the expense of giving an unbiased review? Ann B

Can't stand the MTV show Living On The Edge, but does anyone know what the theme tune is? Sounds like Atlete. Help, please. Gav

The Void; Teletext page 825; 22nd of November, 2008; 5/7.

I nominate Mogwai's R U Still In 2 It? for moving lyrics. It makes me want to hug Stuart Braithwaite. Incidentally, fantastic London show last month. Come back soon, please! Patrick

A mate gave me a copy of the Juno soundtrack by Kimya Dawson and the tunes blew me away. Can anyone recommend any other albums? Kerr

Anyone know if Belinda Carlisle has a DVD which features all her hits? Derek

The Void; Teletext page 825; 22nd of November, 2008; 6/7.

Elliot Smith has some profoundly moving lyrics, not least: "If I went with you I'd disappoint you too," from the sublime 'Twilight'. Or how about "They say you learn the more you burn/ but what good does that do/ If what you leave/ don't help to bring the one you lost back to you?" from Crooked Fingers' 'Don't Say A Word'? The Doc

Justice's new CD/ DVD release is a disappointment, folks. Avoid at all costs! Philly

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2008; 5/7.

Album of the year is Weller's 22 Dreams. The man never fails to deliver. If a young band had made the album they'd be lauded. D*mn shame he's parted with Steve White, though. The Changingman

Rush's song 2112 is based on Ayn Rand's futuristic book Anthem. It also influenced their other of the same name. For concept albums, get Captain Beyond's self-titled debut. Tony Christou

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2008; 1/7.

Around 6 months ago a Voider recommended The Old Romantic Killer Band. I was impressed with them when I checked them out and now have a copy of The Swan With Two Necks, so thanks to The Void and the reader who recommended them. Hopefully others will check them out after reading this. Richard Morican

Does anyone know if Belinda Carlisle has a DVD which features all her hits? Derek Fraser

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2005; 2/7.

Hats off to the employee who blasted Killing In The Name through the Asda store PA. Bring the machine down from within! That bloke who sang for Rage Against The Machine must be proud. Ryan

Go-Betweens? I'd recommend starting with their second album, Before Hollywood, which featured the amazing Cattle And Cane and more. That's what I did ten years ago. Pierre Robert

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2008; 3/7.

Magoulden, I have nothing against pretty girls but I don't (and I'm not alone here) find the big-head-on-a-stick look something to aspire to. Rebecca Nahid

Paul Wilson, have some respect for the best girl group the UK has ever produced. Brilliant songs like Love Machine, Biology, Call The Shots. Also, fantastic live performances as seen by 300, 000 on tour this year and world record breakers too. Catherine W

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2005; 4/7.

Ramsay says that he would like to know what rating Earls would have given The Killers' new album and I would also like to know. I think that he would have given it a rating higher than the unjustifiable rating that Kat Lister gave it. Ann B

What's the big deal about The Killers receiving some well-deserved criticism at last? Sacred cows like them have been dining out on a couple of decent tracks for years now. Eddie Eagle

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2008; 6/7.

New singles by John Earls

coldplay lost 7/10

The standout from viva la vida, chris martin is on his best comforting form over Will Champion's superb tricksy loping percussion. A m ark off for truly having three remixes as B-sides, with Jay-Z sounding bored on his.

THE MOLOTOVS Flowers 7/10

A fine offbeat brassy debut by a London band who have something of Vampire Weekend's staccato funk among their louche vocals and Gene-esque quavering.

ALPHABEAT What Is Happening 7/10

A pox on the naysayers, this wraps up their year in grand singalong classic pop style, far too Technicolor to be dismissed as throwaway. It's also too many remixes to add anything better.

THE WOLFMEN Better Days 7/10

Marco Pirroni and fellow ex-Ant Chris Constantino make sprightly gram with too much brio to be dismissed as old punks chancing it.

SANTOGOLD Say Aha 8/10

The best pop moment on her album after Les Artistes, Santi sets sown a simple '60s shoo-be-doo groove on it, not veering off tracks as she romps about having grandstanding fun.

TIM AND SAM'S TIM AND THE SAM BAND WITH SAM Put Your Slippers On 7/10

Their daft name is detracting from an enthusiasm to explore instrumental music, like a cheerier take on iLikeTrains. Momentarily brings back summer.

THE KILLS Tape Song 8/10

Woth checking for their new hazy approach on the B-side, London Hates You, which serves as a counter to the typically viriolic, albeit tongue-in-cheek, visceral guitar work-out from the underrated Midnight Boom album.

THE CHEMISTS Radio Booth 5/10

A support to everyone from The Music to Delays, they bop along nicely, but the attack on radio fails as it's a bit wet and ploddingly Del Amitri to convince.

RZA/ Bobby Digital Drama 6/10

The RZA offers a typically hypotised slice of minimal piano, so pared back it's barely there. So it relies on his charismatic rap, and a less successful sub-Macy Gray helium soul vocal by newcomer Thea.

BEARSUIT Pushover 6/10

Usually, the veterans get their B52 style kitsch pop right. But this is a bit try-hard, miming to be modern when it's their doo-wop that works.

GRAMMATICS The Vague Archive 8/10

Nothing vague about this heads-down drama, all skittish high vocals carried aloft by guitars and thwacking drums that power itt along. Over in barely two minutes, but with enough ideas and heart to give it the feel of an epic.

HADFIS HULD Stop 7/10

Not sure why the ex-Gus Gus singer is covering Sam Brown's old showstopping ballad, but she brings a coquettish lilt to it, so why not?

Teletext page 822; 24th of November, 2008.

Kanye West/ 808s And Heartbreak 6/10

Reviews by John Earls

With Autotune in vogue, West deploys it throughout to show that he can make the ultimate pop record of the time.

A dim idea, it'll date as badly as '80s synth drums pretty quick. Nor does West: a perfectly adequate singer, as well as a fine rapper, need the gimmick.

More frustratingly, the production has some of West's best songs after the patchy last album. Yet the vocals mean the great songs go largely un-noticed.

1/8.

coldplay/ prospekt's march

Tacked on to the reissue of viva la vida, the eight songs include: a near-identical mix of lovers; a superfluous Jay-Z rap of lost, a vocal version of life and a 45-second burst of ambience.

Of the three proper newies, the title track is a dull wannabe anthem, but rainy day is stirring. glass of water is atypically bouncy.

2/8.

Justice/ A Cross The Universe

A documentary about the duo's US tour, it has a Lost In Translation thanks to their permanently wry attitude away from their enthusiasm for the stage.

It makes the "bonus" live album more compelling than the film itself.

Unusually essential for a live dance album, it warps the Cross album into something akin to a dream mixtape, with their Soulwax and Simian mixes adding to a frenzied, headrush ride. 8/10

3/8.

Fortuna Pop/ Be True To Your School 7/10

A 25-song Best Of from the none-more-indie label that's lasted since 1995.

At its best with traditional indie-pop like Fanfarlo and Bearsuit, it also has lovely girlgroup drama Cannonball Jane and maudlin country by Micktravis.

Such a determinedly underground ethos means there are a few sickeningly twee chancers (Wimpshake, The Lovers), but take a chance and there'll be at least half-a-dozen new acts to rave over.

4/8.

The Hotel Café/ Presents Winter Songs 4/10

Curated by a US singer-songwriter venue, this dreadfully earnest festive set gives female singers a bad name.

Stuffed with bland types like Colbie Caillat, Brandi Carlile and Sara Bareilles, only Nicole Atkins, Fiona Apple and KT Tunstall appear to be having anything resembling fun.

To hear Katy Perry's ersatz humour on White Christmas is to long for death, and an names shine. Bah humbug.

5/8.

Irmin Schmidt/ Palermo Shooting

In which the chap from Can provides a typical prog score for Wim Wenders' new film starring Lou Reed.

The separate soundtrack has new songs by Beirut, Grinderman and Iron & Wine.

It sounds heaps more fun than this impenetrable cacophony, like a slo-mo mariachi band and is enough to put you off seeing the film i case it's nearly as interminable as Schmidt's dreary meanderings. 4/10

6/8.

Danielson/ Trying Hartz

A double-album Best Of from Daniel Smith's various Danielson-related aliases, most notably Danielson Famile.

Long before Americana and folk became fashionable, Smith was exploring how to make euphoric music.

The best songs became a dusty gospel, as Smith sets a template for Iron & Wine's classic visions with the likes of The Lord's Rest. Anyone unfamiliar with his name should investigate. 7/10

7/8.

Chairlift/ London Dublin Castle

With their song Bruises replacing Feist on the iPod ads, it's no wonder the pub is beyond rammed.

Yet it's not just the song's exposure that makes it the most memorable of the set. It's also by far the poppiest in an otherwise dreamy collage.

Their smoky ramblings work well like Mazzy Star on record but, with Caroline Polachek stuck behind her keyboard, it's a flat, static show to watch. 6/10

8/8.

Teletext page 823; 24th of November, 2008.

Dark Knight's the best

Unless Twilight can pull off something spectacular, my film of the year is The Dark Knight. Everything is perfect and it is so much more than a comic book film. Films I'm looking forward to next year are Watchmen and Star Trek. Niel, Hull

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2008; 1/6.

More Planet Terror

Paul, Hailsham: Planet Terror is supposed to look like this. It is a grindhouse style movie. Frank, Glasgow: I have a copy of The Car (James Brolin). Watch the end titles, not quite so happy ending. Also, I think Vortex should review more Asian films. Tony, Peterborough

Iron Man is a boring film. I don't know what all the fuss is all about. The Mist is a far better film. Anon, Nottingham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2008; 2/6.

The Strangers '08 best

If it had been 20 minutes shorter, my film of the year would have been Dark Knight (Heath Ledger was brilliant, it wasn't just sentiment).

But because of my numb bum at the finish of TDK, I am plumping for The Strangers which managed to be disturbing without undue gore and managed to fit a lot of suspense in its less running time. Neil Ward, Lincs

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2008; 3/6.

Dragon Ball film query

Does Vortex have any info about the Dragon Ball movie? Will it be faithful to the anime series? Jack Stewart, Edinburgh

Vortex: Dragon Ball: The Movie is due on April 8, 2009. It's a live-actioner so it'll be interesting to see how the original anime is translated visually. We're told it will have the anime style of fighting in Dragon Ball Z, but certain characters have been dropped and appearances altered. Mmm.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of Novemmber, 2008; 4/6.

Romero's Diary rated

My film of the year was George Romero's Diary of The Dead. After the disappointing Land, my expectations were low but George has exceeded them, delivering a thoughtful into a now tired genre. As heavy on the satire as it is the gore, Diary is the franchise reboot Land should have been. Damien, Birmingham

My top three films of the year: Diving Bell And The Butterfly; Lust, Caution; Easy Virtue. Jenna, Brum

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2008; 5/6.

Christian Music (No More!)

Enough is enough. I did not mean people who happen to be Christian are not allowed to release music. Gwen Stefani is Catholic, and she is amazing.

I wasn't on a mission to take Christian "rock" bands from your listening pleasure. The CD I was listening to at the time was recorded in a church, and people tried writing hymns about their love of God and tried to sund cool by throwing in a guitar and some drums.

Satan's Little Helper

Well, that alters things. (Ha ha! Do you see what I did there?)

Zine; 24th of March, 2005; 8/8.