Things that make you want to bury someone alive

Quote: Jimmy, May 2012

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Quote: Jimmy, May 2012

F*CK YOU BLIZZARD. F*CK YOU.

Where the f*ck do you live? This is one of the sunniest days we've had all year.

Oh Barry...

Just saying, even El Diablo (that's 'The Devil' in Spanish) would find it hot today

Not so much p*ssing me off, more making me cringe like f*ck.
Why on earth does this seem like a good idea to anyone?

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012

Fear Her may be the worst episode of the entire revived series.

And that's even worse when you consider it directly followed the episode with Peter Kay

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012

Fear Her may be the worst episode of the entire revived series.

And that's even worse when you consider it directly followed the episode with Peter Kay

Good lord, what a bad run. If I'd been watching the show in real time on a Saturday night, I may have given up on it about there.

I would have given up in the first series with the Slitheen. As it turned out, I only watched a few random episodes here and there (or when I saw there'd be Daleks/Cybermen). I missed most of the bad ones and only started regularly watching in the third series.

How the hell did you manage to stay clinging on with Martha in there?
That girl does my bloody crust in...

i spoke to the fiancé on the phone a few minutes ago. He said that he had an accident at his parents' garden and injured his hands and face. He was in hospital for a couple of hours and has to go there tomorrow to have stitches on his finger tendons.

Thanks, Baz.

He sounded all right when i spoke to him. Hopefully, i'll see him either tomorrow or on Saturday.

Quote: Walt Flanagan, May 2012

I hate my downstairs neighbour so much. She just came up to ask me to help her move something in her house. Turned out it was a giant set of speakers, which she's now blasting awful generic chart music from. Like an evil genius, she's made me a part of my own destruction.

That sucks, but is also pretty funny

My nephews birthday party is on Saturday. There'll be a big inflatable obstacle course for the kids like last year. Party for kids from about 1 til 3. Party for family from 3 o'clock. My sister was heavily hinting that I could come earlier than 3 if I wanted.

So, in other words, I'm going to be spending most of my Saturday looking after kids I don't know on an inflatable obstacle course, having to pretend to be shot by some, play ball with others, tie their shoes, take off their shoes, make sure they don't batter the almighty f*ck out of each other, while they batter the almighty f*ck out of me.

Just like last year.

Kids birthday parties nowadays are just way too OTT. Everyone has to have a bouncy castle. Everyone has to have 20 of their friends. There has to be a huge celebration.

I remember one of my birthday parties. ONLY one. I don't even know if there were others. I can only remember one. I had three friends down (one of whom gave me a fancy pen as a gift, which is a weird thing for a ten year old to give a friend for their tenth birthday), I had a cake which wasn't a cake because it was a large block of vanilla ice-cream with some hundreds&thousands on it and only three candles otherwise the cake would melt, we weren't allowed outside because it was dark as my birthday's in December, and we spent most of the time playing darts. That was the most extravagant birthday party I ever got and I turned out fine.

Stupid f*cking kids and their bouncy castle... I never got a bouncy castle....

Quote: Steve-Dave, May 2012

Also, it annoys me when people post stuff like "Happy birthday to my son who's 1 today. Love you!" on Facebook.

Your son... cannot read that. What you are doing is the equivalent of writing out a birthday card, putting it in the bin and then running down the street shouting "IT'S MY SON'S BIRTHDAY! YOU ALL MUST COMPLIMENT HIM AND TELL ME HOW PROUD OF HIM I SHOULD BE!"

That does sound needy. i know it's the done thing to congratulate people for having a baby. But expecting people to congratulate them because their baby is one? Yeah, f*** that.

Wrote this elsewhere but will share here too:

Loyalty/Reward Cards. Everywhere you go now, "Do you have a Loyalty Card?", "Do you have one of our Rewards Cards?", "You're missing out on points by not getting one!"

Take your f*cking cards and use your a*se to scan them.

Everywhere. Clothes shops. Book shops. F*cking petrol stations have them. And everywhere, always being asked if you have one every time.

Even large supermarkets... Pretty much every time I go, "Do you have your clubcard with you?". No, I don't have my clubcard with me. For three very good reasons: a) I do not have a clubcard. b) I don't even know what the clubcard is used for. But most importantly, c) Of all the times over the past several years, not once, have I ever actually been offered a f*cking clubcard. Wouldn't take one anyway, but if you don't offer it to people, a lot of people then wouldn't have one.

But the worst... the absolute worst... the one that really caused me to write this rant.... Subway.

I get a Subway maybe once a week or every second week, because I obviously hate myself. Got a subcard off them because I was sick of constantly being asked for it. Nearly every time I went and they scanned my card, "There you go... You haven't registered your card yet. You have to register it online. Triple points when you register it".

I don't go home and think "Gosh, I must register my subway card so I get triple points". I don't think about Subway unless I am actually in Subway. But then, this weekend. Got a Subway

Employee: Do you have your Subcard?
Me: Yeah
(scans card)
Employee: You have enough for a free footlong Subway
Me: Oh, thanks
Employee: You have to register the card first though
Me: So, the fact that I have enough points due to constantly coming here doesn't matter until I register my personal details and email address with Subway?
Employee: Yeah, you have to register the card to claim your free Subway



You're not being rewarded with loyalty in these places. You're being rewarded for making it easier for them to advertise to you.

Reward Cards? F*ck that. My reward for not falling for this sh*t is more room in my wallet.