The same kind of thing happened with my sister and her bloke
he was being a sh*tball, got her and himself really into debt and she needed to get out, she got into a proper rutt with everything.
ended up going to live in greece for 6 months & came back a completely different person.
she came back, saw another guy for about a year, but he was really really immature and she binned him off. a few months later her and her previous ex met up for a chat, this was about 3 years ago now, they moved in together a couple of years ago and now have a 7 week old baby together. time does change a lot as they both grew up a lot while apart, when they got back together though "it was like we were never apart" so they've had it really good.
i don't want to have it in my head that one day he'll change his mind though, that his feelings will change.
i don't want that hope to be there as it's likely he won't. and he's been thinking about this for a long time as it is, so he's likely very sure about this.
he's been saying for a while that he doesn't know what he wants generally, from life, from work, from anything. it just keeps coming up that he wants to "have fun and stop worrying"
i'm not entirely sure he really understands how feelings change over time, he told me the "spark" has gone... which feels like a non-reason to me because the spark went a long time ago for me. we've been together nigh on two years, it had to go some time.
as it does with everyone. you start to get comfortable with people, realise their habits and everything and they start to get to you but then you realise they're human too, just like you and you have all sorts of annoying habits too which will annoy them.
i mean, the way i feel about him now is completely different to the way i did when i first realised my feelings, but i think in a way, he was expecting to feel the same about me forever and a day... I'm not sure.
or maybe he has a different definition of that "spark"
at the end of the day though, people always react differently when things start to move on from the "fantasty stage" as it gets called. seems that he couldn't really manage to get past that.
from now on, what happens, happens. that's it i suppose, i can't do anything else now, other than trying to move on & not go batsh*t insane
It's annoying. i can't really blame him for how he feels, but i'd like to smack the sh*t out of him for some things he's done recently while keeping me hanging.