Notebook Letters 5.

Purple Punk The more letters we send, the more you get paid, right?

I soooo wish you were my boss.

Breakdancing Monkey This is my first letter and I'm afraid to ask... who are you people and why are you in my fridge?

OK, this is YOUR fridge?

DJ Dave WLW, why weren't you on Celebrity Big Brother? I mean, look, they had Mark Owen and Sue from Mel and Sue on there.

And Les Dennis, for heaven's sake- I'm insulted, big time.

Zine; 2nd of December, 2002; 1/8.

The Contents of My Pockets

After searching through my pockets, I have found the following items:

1 My E540 or, as it used to be, UB40.
2 My front door keys.

Not much for 19 years of life, is it?

The Geek Who Shall Inherit The Earth

But you are inheriting the earth, so, y'know, be grateful for that.

Zine; 2nd of December, 2002; 2/8.

Dear Santa

I've been reaaaallly good for this year so, for Crimbo, can I have:

1 Blazin' Squad permanently removed from the universe.
2 S Club Juniors turned into wombats.
3 A large packet of Jaffa Cakes to be used as bribery in order to have further messages printed on Zine.
4 A kangaroo, because the bus to college is very slow.

Can I get you anything while I'm writing, WLW?

farmer jack

Nope, think you've covered everything, maybe world peace and a Playstation.

Zine; 2nd of December, 2002; 3/8.

Top five of the year?

What are your top five films this year? Mine a


re: 1 Let The Right One In, 2 Thirst, 3 (500) Days of Summer, 4 District 9, and 5 Star Trek. Matthew, Sheffield

Allegedly Arnie was supposed to play the part of Kyle Reese. He saw the script and said he wanted to play the Cyborg instead. Rob, Sheffield

Best shocking ending: The Mist or The Usual Suspects. Miss you, Vortex. Sean, Baglan

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2009; 4/6.

Watch out for Boxing zombies

Foreign zombie films for Boxing Day: Junk (my all time favourite film), Stacy (Jap), Evil To Kako (Greece), Die Zombijager (Swe), Plaga Zombie (Spa). And Tokyo Zombie for laughs. Richard, Wolverhampton

Re little known facts. The point of Deckard, played magnificently by harrison ford in Blade Runner, was originally for Dustin Hoffman. Begs the question, who would have been better? William, Saltcoats

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2009; 5/6,

Cusack favourites

The Grifters is my favourite Cusack movie, which treats its source material with reverence. I'd have liked more of the book adapted to define Roy's c

haracter. John's role in Class brings a smile of remberance for youthful exuberance. t rivers, sussex

Original castings: Stallone/ Axel Folley, Tom Selleck/ Indy Jones, Neil Diamond/ Taxi Driver. Tom Selleck went on to do High Road to China, far better than Indy was. G, Leicester

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2009; 5/6.

For me, the ideal Glastonbury headliners are acts I've always wanted to see, but not willing to pay to see do their own gigs. So I'm pretty happy with U2. I've also noticed that every journalist in the country seems to know who'l headline the Saturday. Come on, Earls, you can tell us. Mark Muldoon

Earls: Everyone knows it's...

Good to see The View in PS' Albums of 2009. They don't get the credit they deserve. Superstar Tradesman

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2009; 1/7.

The Decemberists in London on Thursday was the best gig I've ever been to. I broke my promise to myself not to see bands who only play in London, but it was worth it.

This was the fourth time I've seen them and, while they've always been great before, this just took them to another level. They played new album Hazards in full, and it was even better live than on record, before old songs in the second half. DJ Gordy

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2009; 2/7.

How kind of the Coen brothers to document the woes of Barenaked Ladies in their new film A Serious Man. In the poster, the title character is clearly errant singer Steven Page. BNL Linda

Nile's new album Those Whom The Gods Detest is colossal. It's similar to previous album Ithyphallic, but on a whole new album. An album to get lost in, it's their best since Black Seeds and Hittite Dung Incantation is my new favourite song title. Mark De Sade

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2009; 3/7.

Thanks to PS for writing about music in a plain, honest way. You'll be missed, after introducing me to many great new bands. I wish you could review Detroit Social Club's next album, the best band I've ever seen and one everyone should know about. Good luck to Earls with WET Records, I'll look forward to their singles. Bert In The North

After seeing his faves Stornoway on Later, Earls must be leaving PS with a smile. Kieron Black

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of December, 2009; 4/7.

I haven't laughed so much in ages at the sight of Dappy squirming in his chair throughout Never Mind The Buzzcocks. It's payback for N-Dubz's terrible excuse for music. Duran Chris

The Decemberists were spectacular on Wednesday. Kudos to the steward who wasn't a jobsworth for not binning my sarnies for the train journey back to Liverpool too. I also had a great time at Charlotte Hatherley's Liverpool gig the night before. Gazzoir

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2009; 5/7.

Top 10 songs of the decade

1) Such Great Heights Postal Service
2) Take Me Out Franz Ferdinand
3) No-One Knows Queens of The Stone Age
4) If i Ever Feel Better Phoenix
5) Idioteque Radiohead
6) Our Velocity Maximo Park
7) Don't Look Back Into The Sun The Libertines
Eight) 22 Grand Job The Rakes
9) Men's Needs The Rakes
10) Juxtapozed With U SFA

Somik Halder

The Void; Teletext page 825; 25th of November, 2009; 6/7.

Who's the best director around?

New topic: favourite directors. Mine are Steven Spielberg, Terrence Malick, Ridley Scott, Martin Scorsese, James Cameron and Sergio Leone. PS At age 17, am I the youngest Vortexter? You'll be missed. Paul, Hampshire

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 1/6.

Unleash the fury

I recommend Sudden Fury (1997)- one of the most violent Brit gangster films you'll ever see. Also, H*ll To Pay, 24 Hours In London, Footsteps and Shooters. Richard, Wolves

Armani- According to Wikipedia, the Clash of The Titans remake date is 26/ 3/ '10. Tony, Peterborough

A few gems I've enjoyed recently are The Sorcerers, Patrick, The Blob (1988) and Night Train Murders. Lee, Fife

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 2/6.

Cusacks prove elusive

You never see John and Joan Cusack interviewed together. R, Walsall

I've always loved tuning into the discussions from your other viewers. Before you go, can viewers help me name a horror film made in the 1980s? It was set in an apartment and involved a woman with a midget growing out of her back and someone being able to float across the floor? I saw it when I was very young and can't remember the title. K, Hull

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 3/6.

Forbidden loss captivating

Death In Venice is picturesque. Bogarde's vision fading upon the boy he desires facilitates an image comparable with a master painter. Director, lead actor and sinking city served to heighten the subtext of forbidden loss. t rivers, sussex

Shock ends: Unbreakable. Film of 2009: District 9. Duane, Hull

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 4/6.

No contest for the Borg

Don't make me laugh- Kirk v The Borg? He'll be assimilated before he could say "Scotty, beam me up". Bring on the Klingons. JJ, Devon

Jem- Pierce Brosnan did bring style and charisma and delivered one-liners perfectly but he lacked the masculinity Craig possesses.

The next film will see these qualities emerge that you said Brosnan has but Craig lacks. Glimpses of it were seen in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. Armani, Yorkshire

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 5/6.

Paul the Bond who never was

The best Bond who never was is Adrian Paul from TV's Highlander series. Good looks, great action man- he had the lot. He'd have been the best since sean connery. Thousands voted on the Internet, but we got Craig. Rose, Blackpool

My first cinema visit was to see Star Wars in 1977 in the days when people could smoke in the cinema and when I got home I was ill because of it. Thank heavens kids are not subject to that these days. Peter, Saxmundham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 25th of November, 2009; 6/6.

Interpol shining brighter

I'm so pleased that Sam Fogarino is sayong Interpol's next album will sound like Turn On The Bright Lights, as that's my favourite album ever and they've yet to top it. I can't believe PS is closing in weeks, it feels like losing a friend. Dominic Redfern

Albums we're rediscovering? Pigeonhole by New Fast Automatic Daffodils came on my Shuffle, and I couldn't be happier. Get Better is still great, as is their peel Sessions album. Graham Baxendale

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 1/7.

The waiting game

In the same way that record labels put stickers on their albums if they pick up a Mercury nomination, can't they put stickers on albums about to be expanded saying "This album will be reissued on December 7?" It'll let us decide to wait or just get the main album there and then. Eve's Treasure

In January, I wrote in saying that, while I'm not a Lily Allen fan, The Fear is great. I'd still vote for it as song of the year. Beatlebum

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 2/7.

Sublime Decline

My album of the decade is British Sea Power's The Decline Of- it's sublime, and there sn't a duff moment on it. Also, can The Incredible Flight of Birdman play in Birmingham soon, please? Fi Rose

I disagree with Earls and Tradesman about The View being in PS' Albums of 2009. They're a middle of the band and I've heard better down my local pub. They won't be around for much longer. Lee Smith

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 3/7.

A cold Decemberists

I've tried to appreciate The Decemberists, but their music leaves me cold, Hazards of Love especially. The gig I wish I'd seen recently was Pixies playing Doolittle in full. Thanks to PS for a celebration of music, I'll miss you greatly. Barry's Teabag

I agree with DJ Gordy, The Decemberists was the greatest gig I've ever seen after going from Devon to London to see them. A truly moving, highly emotional evening. Ollie Holtam

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 4/7.

Never mind the Solesearching

I understand the Never Mind The Buzzcocks producers were in two minds before inviting Basshunter on the show. There was a lot of Solesearching going on. Nicko

Thanks to PS for making my cold 6 am starts bearable with a daily dose of music news- well done for not straying into gossip and fads. Best of luck with whatever Earls does next- a blog of some sort would be welcome. You'll be missed. James Mealey

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 5/7.

The John Earls Top 10

1) Earl's A Singer Elkie Brooks
2) String of Earls Glen Miller
3) Earls Just Want To Have Fun Cyndi Lauper
4) Duke of Earls Dartsl
5) It's Different For Earls Joe Jackson
6) Earls Ain't Nothing But Trouble Jazzy Jeff And Fresh Prince
7) Earls Like Teen Spirit Nirvana
Eight) Something Earls Eddie Cochran
10) Two Earls Collide Inspiral Carpets

Fang

The Void; Teletext page 825; 26th of November, 2009; 6/7.

PS' favourite interviews

By John Earls

The most common question PS gets asked is "Who's your favourite interview?"

There are, without wishing to sound like a politician, too many to single out just one person.

More to the point, the number of rude, idiotic interviewees are outweighed considerably by musicians happy to talk- though we'll come on to the idiots shortly, don't worry...

For sheer strange, interviewing Brian Wilson takes some beating.

He was promoting the Smile concert DVD, and PS got a phone call from his PR: "We can do that interview you asked for... If Brian can phone you in 15 minutes."

So much for preparation. To hear Brian Wilson bellow down the phone "Writing down songs is just MAGICAL!" is unbeatable, though during our 20 minutes, we kept thinking "He wrote Good Vibrations!!"

Interviewing American musicians was always tricky, because very few of them had heard of the concept of Teletext.

Calling it an "old-school internet, but on TV" was the easiest shorthand, and many loved the idea. Not least Juliette Lewis, who said: "That's some crazy counter-culture sh** right there."

Ice-T offered to buy Teletext, though Beastie Boys looked like they thought we were a telemarketing scam.

As well as Brian Wilson, many of the older generation were proper gentlemen.

Al Martino, who had the first proper UK No 1 before starring in The Godfather, was a walking anecdote. So too is My Way writer Paul Anka who, in his hotel suite at Claridge's, seemed more than anyone to have the perfect life.

Particular respect to Mike Stoller, half of the Lieber & Stoller team who helped to create rock & roll itself.

To generalise, Manchester musicians are the best interviewees.

Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner and Guy Garvey are three of the funniest people you can meet, Johnny Marr- probably the best theoriser there is- and Shaun Ryder was so inspired you could have released the interview as an album.

We never got a proper Noel Gallagher interview, but he's unfailingly polite at awards ceremonies.

Other than Noel, there was only REM left on the dream interview list that we didn't get to talk to.

Of course, it was always a pleasure to interview people who turned out to be PS fans. Genuinely, there were none who turned out to be dullards.

So thanks to the likes of Nicky Wire, Paul Heaton, Robert Smith, Mick Jones, Stuart Murdoch, Sergio Pizzano and Ian McCulloch. Happy reading (what's left).

Teletext page 824; 26th of November, 2009.