Singledom

Quote: The Underwhelmed One, Feb 2010

That's not that bad... is it?

I gave him all but one of my red starbursts today!!

I may as well just smash my chest open, and present him with my heart and some studded boots so he can stamp away.

Well, reading what you say about him & his missus, my bullsh*t alarm was blaring full blast...

In the style of numerous authors I present:

Translation from horny guy speak to English.


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'never been mentioned and although her facebook says she's in a relationship with him if you go to look at it, he's hidden that info on his'.

I don't want to look unavailable if someone better comes along.


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Admittedly, it's not moved much beyond talking a hell of a lot, both timing tea making breaks to coincide,

I like flirting with sexy girls. Especially when other people can see how cool I am.


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him buying me a creme egg, galaxy caramel egg and cadbury caramel egg, offering to take me out for a curry, making cups of tea when I'm on lunch, making excuses to come and talk to people in the room I work in and telling me I'm beautiful...

If I buy her presents, she will like me. And flirt with me more. And maybe sleep with me. I would like that. I will tell her she's beautiful, because women like compliments, and I read on the internet somewhere that it's better to say "beautiful" rather than sexy. So I will tell her she's beautiful. Then maybe she will let me have sex with her.


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He's only had two girlfriends ever, one for four years while he was at uni, and now, this girl, six years later, for however long it's been.

I would quite like to be a man-wh*re like all my friends were in uni, but I liked the security of a relationship while still flirting with people. Now, with my girlfriend far away, I can finally realise my dream of having my cake and eating it.


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But he supports her, despite them being in a rubbish relationship which went wrong two years ago when they broke up Christmas 2007, because she only came to england to study because of him.

I decided she was a bit sh*t after I got her here, so I dumped her flabby a*s. I think it makes me look sensitive to act like I feel guilty about this, but I only actually support her when I want to. She's thousands of miles away, what can she do if I'm not online on MSN?


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So he's paying out several thousand pounds so she can do that.

I owe her several thousand pounds, because I stole her money to fuel my heroin addiction.


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He also said that he knew how he was acting was wrong, but it's been so long since he felt like he was in a proper relationship that he forgets most of the time that he is, and then feels terrible when he realises.

I am high as a kite.

What?

Quote: The Underwhelmed One, Feb 2010

Quote: LoonyPandora, Feb 2010

Quote: The Underwhelmed One, Feb 2010

Quote: Babestation, Feb 2010

Quote: The Underwhelmed One, Feb 2010

But then, I suppose I don't really know what's going on with him and I don't want to ask in case it's bad and how do you ask that kind of thing anyway?

I'd start with a simple, so when does blah blah blah get back from Japan, and go from there. You can follow that up in an infinite number of ways, but if he doesn't give too much away, I'd probably ask him what the secrets are too a successful long distance relationship - so you can pass on some much-needed advice to a friend of yours. If you conclude from a bit of digging he seems happy with her, forget him. If he gives you reason to believe things aren't working out with this girl, take it from there.

She's not coming back, she's going from there straight to India in August and from there who knows.
But he supports her, despite them being in a rubbish relationship which went wrong two years ago when they broke up Christmas 2007, because she only came to england to study because of him.
So he's paying out several thousand pounds so she can do that.

There was a whole heap of other stuff, but basically that's one hell of a situation.

He also said that he knew how he was acting was wrong, but it's been so long since he felt like he was in a proper relationship that he forgets most of the time that he is, and then feels terrible when he realises.

This may be too messy

But he and I have just... clicked.

Gah!

You and your man choices... Couldn't make that sh*t up.

That's not that bad... is it?

I gave him all but one of my red starbursts today!!

I may as well just smash my chest open, and present him with my heart and some studded boots so he can stamp away.

I wouldn't listen to anyone here, they're obviously just jealous that you're off the market

Quote: Darren, Feb 2010

Quote: Parmaynu, Feb 2010

Quote: Lisbeth Salander, Feb 2010

Quote: Parmaynu, Feb 2010

Quote: The Underwhelmed One, Feb 2010

Also on a single person note.

Is there some kind of secret signal that beams out to ex boyfriends that you're no longer in any kind of contact with shortly after you and someone have broken up?

AND! Does anyone on VR have any use for a pair of size 12 mohair walking socks (yeah, this should have been a sign that we weren't meant to be) that I bought to make my ex boyfriend happy?

Short of burning them, they're wasted on me!

If they've got nowhere else to go I'm sure I could use them, if you're sure you're gonna burn them.

*Cough* Willy wamers

Too small for that but they might fit on my feet.

Wait. They are, or you are?

Zing

George has been well and truly Zung with that one

Quote: Abacus, Feb 2010

Valentine's Day on Sunday, surely the worst day of the year?

It isn't just Valentine's Day; it's also Chinese New Year.

Cheaper though

Quote: Abacus, Feb 2010

Valentine's Day on Sunday, surely the worst day of the year?

You get any chocolate oranges? They're available from Rawlinsons y'know.

Quote: Paula, Feb 2010

Quote: Martoolraptor™, Feb 2010

Quote: Abacus, Feb 2010

Valentine's Day on Sunday, surely the worst day of the year?

You get any chocolate oranges? They're available from Rawlinsons y'know.

Fact: I have never in my whole life been given anything for a valentines day gift

Well you probably didn't want one of these chocolate oranges anyway there's superficial damage to the boxes.

Quote: Paula, Feb 2010

Quote: Martoolraptor™, Feb 2010

Quote: Abacus, Feb 2010

Valentine's Day on Sunday, surely the worst day of the year?

You get any chocolate oranges? They're available from Rawlinsons y'know.

Fact: I have never in my whole life been given anything for a valentines day gift

pfffft. i've never even gotten a card, let alone anything else

not even a joking one, or one meant to be mean. or a pathetic one from my mum.
emma got one. and jonathan. but she's never given me squat!

Quote: Eddie Wachowski, Feb 2010

Quote: Paula, Feb 2010

Quote: Martoolraptor™, Feb 2010

Quote: Abacus, Feb 2010

Valentine's Day on Sunday, surely the worst day of the year?

You get any chocolate oranges? They're available from Rawlinsons y'know.

Fact: I have never in my whole life been given anything for a valentines day gift

pfffft. i've never even gotten a card, let alone anything else

not even a joking one, or one meant to be mean. or a pathetic one from my mum.
emma got one. and jonathan. but she's never given me squat!

That's because the restraining order forbids me from knowing where you live.

Not that I'm a snob or anything, but if a cute girl rubbishes Muse, Interpol and Bloc Party, then brings up Travis and Ocean Colour Scene instead, that's an instant dismissal right?

OK, I am a snob. Beggars can be choosers

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she knew I wanted a girlfriend. I didn't!

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she just wanted to bonk me. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

So what did you want? Not a girlfriend, but you didn't like the idea of being used for sex?