Singledom
Posted In: Rants. Reading This Thread:
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Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...
Hi VR, it's been quite a while since I started a thread and I realise I've been extremely inactive on this site over the past, well, couple of years, I guess and that's in no way related to anybody here, although you are all massive sh*ts, obviously 
That said, I feel like a bit of a rant/update is in order and although you may not care if you've read this far you'll probably finish now, let's be honest 
Some may know I was in a very serious long-term relationship I entered into when I was 18 (my first proper g/f). That ended about 2 months ago and it was about as good a conclusion to a 7 and a half year relationship as one could hope for; basically, as cliched as it sounds, we wanted different things - her living together, marriage and kids (probably in that order) and me, well, not. Not sure exactly why, but that's my problem. She was an amazing girlfriend and the first part of the rant is that why did I not feel like I wanted the next logical step with someone I cared so much for? It bothers me. Secondly, why do I not regret the decision massively, like I half-hoped I would? What the feck is wrong with me? I'm nothing special and had a fit as f*ck girlfriend who adored me, understood me and I'm now alone because I decided I didn't want all the normal stuff people do want with people they care about as much as I did. It also feels worse than anything I could imagine to have destroyed someone who I cared about so much, even if I feel I did it for all the right reasons.
Anyway, those demons will probably come to a head at some point and I'll probably just explode or something but the other part of my rant is about being single, something I've not experienced since before I was technically an adult! I shouldn't moan about it because I've chosen the road myself and now I must walk it, or rather, awkwardly amble up it, probably embarrassing myself at every junction. There's another girl...I must stress she only came into light post-relationship but there is, undeniably another girl. She's another quite ridiculously hot one too, who I have great chemistry with and erm, stuff. It's coming to a head but I don't know if I want it as I feel horrible moving on knowing my ex is still hurting so bad. I realise that I am coming across as a tw*t here "yeah, I had a great girlfriend who I dumped and I'm moaning about it and now I have another attractive girl on the cards and I'm moaning about that too", but my life as always been so simple and stress free and I always ignored things and now my life feels like a somewhat subdued episode of Skins. Bloody hell.
Anyway, I'm out, not sure what, if anything I want in in response to this but hey, good to be back properly and hope I can catch up with some of you lot online a bit more and maybe even meet up at a meet or something, be nice to meet some of you ugly lot in person, so keep me posted about meets!
That said, I feel like a bit of a rant/update is in order and although you may not care if you've read this far you'll probably finish now, let's be honest Some may know I was in a very serious long-term relationship I entered into when I was 18 (my first proper g/f). That ended about 2 months ago and it was about as good a conclusion to a 7 and a half year relationship as one could hope for; basically, as cliched as it sounds, we wanted different things - her living together, marriage and kids (probably in that order) and me, well, not. Not sure exactly why, but that's my problem. She was an amazing girlfriend and the first part of the rant is that why did I not feel like I wanted the next logical step with someone I cared so much for? It bothers me. Secondly, why do I not regret the decision massively, like I half-hoped I would? What the feck is wrong with me? I'm nothing special and had a fit as f*ck girlfriend who adored me, understood me and I'm now alone because I decided I didn't want all the normal stuff people do want with people they care about as much as I did. It also feels worse than anything I could imagine to have destroyed someone who I cared about so much, even if I feel I did it for all the right reasons.
Anyway, those demons will probably come to a head at some point and I'll probably just explode or something but the other part of my rant is about being single, something I've not experienced since before I was technically an adult! I shouldn't moan about it because I've chosen the road myself and now I must walk it, or rather, awkwardly amble up it, probably embarrassing myself at every junction. There's another girl...I must stress she only came into light post-relationship but there is, undeniably another girl. She's another quite ridiculously hot one too, who I have great chemistry with and erm, stuff. It's coming to a head but I don't know if I want it as I feel horrible moving on knowing my ex is still hurting so bad. I realise that I am coming across as a tw*t here "yeah, I had a great girlfriend who I dumped and I'm moaning about it and now I have another attractive girl on the cards and I'm moaning about that too", but my life as always been so simple and stress free and I always ignored things and now my life feels like a somewhat subdued episode of Skins. Bloody hell.
Anyway, I'm out, not sure what, if anything I want in in response to this but hey, good to be back properly and hope I can catch up with some of you lot online a bit more and maybe even meet up at a meet or something, be nice to meet some of you ugly lot in person, so keep me posted about meets!
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Because cake is happiness
Hi Alex! I don't have any helpful advice like other people to give, but I hope you're ok, and also /slaps for the "I'm nothing special" bit. Hopefully see you again at some point for more chocolate and wit 
Wife of the lovely Alice
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River Phoenix
i don't have any advice either.
But welcome back anyroad, mofo.
Even though you never went anywhere.
But welcome back anyroad, mofo.
Even though you never went anywhere.
*![[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]](http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg "http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg")
*
*
Darren is most certainly not my god!
Alexamatron! Hello there! I am ecstatically glad that you are alive and have not been eaten by any carnivorous woodland creatures. I am supersorry to hear about you and the Sarahtron splitting up, but at the end of the day you couldn't give her what she wanted, whatever the reason for that was, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it because as much as she's hurting she wouldn't want you to lie to her only to freak out when she pops out your sprog and run for t'hills. Regarding this new bird, you perhaps should talk it over with old bird (your ex not your Mum, ho ho), to see if she is comfortable with it. She can't begrudge you happiness if she knows you can't give her what she wants and the best thing to do, especially if you had a reasonably amicable split, is be honest with her. She may be angry, because women are irrational bitches, but eventually she will appreciate the honesty, I'm sure. If you would like to talk about this further, I would offer my services on MSN/Facebookchat (nearlywrote facebookcat. I want a facebook cat) but I'm not frigging Dear Deirdre.
All of my love and fluids,
Rick Flair x x
All of my love and fluids,
Rick Flair x
x
Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...
Thanks for the advice and nice words
I was supposed to be going out with new girl after work but it sort of fell through due to a series of unfortunate incidents. I'm disappointed about that.
Lastly, it may go without saying, but no mention of me opening up and my situation on Facebook (those who "have" me) if you please, there are eyes everywhere. Not literally.
I was supposed to be going out with new girl after work but it sort of fell through due to a series of unfortunate incidents. I'm disappointed about that.
Lastly, it may go without saying, but no mention of me opening up and my situation on Facebook (those who "have" me) if you please, there are eyes everywhere. Not literally.
I think your first post in this thread has a higher word count than all your other posts combined since I joined VR. This is good, I like you and I am glad you're 'back'.
I'm sorry about you and Sarah but you definitely seem to have had good reasons, I hope things work out for you
Sorry for the lack of advice or anything of that nature but I'm not good at all that stuff.
I'm sorry about you and Sarah but you definitely seem to have had good reasons, I hope things work out for you
Sorry for the lack of advice or anything of that nature but I'm not good at all that stuff.
Ahhhhh, long term breakups!
My advice- don't get into anything too serious for AT LEAST a year after. Otherwise yuo'll end up drifting from one bad relationship to another, like I did whan I split up with Kevin. Ok, I left it 3/4 months but I was so not ready for it.
Play the feild a bit. I'm not saying go manwh*re like I did those first 3 months (well, womanwh*re ) but little dates to the cinema and stuff are a good idea.
Also, so what if she's 19. I mean, my last bloke is 34, and we split up because HE wasn't ready for any committment. Age does not equal maturity.
So yeah, just enjoy your little bit of freedom, without rubbing it in Sarahs face.
My advice- don't get into anything too serious for AT LEAST a year after. Otherwise yuo'll end up drifting from one bad relationship to another, like I did whan I split up with Kevin. Ok, I left it 3/4 months but I was so not ready for it.
Play the feild a bit. I'm not saying go manwh*re like I did those first 3 months (well, womanwh*re
) but little dates to the cinema and stuff are a good idea. Also, so what if she's 19. I mean, my last bloke is 34, and we split up because HE wasn't ready for any committment. Age does not equal maturity.
So yeah, just enjoy your little bit of freedom, without rubbing it in Sarahs face.
I only want you to see
My favourite part of me
And not my ugly side
Not my ugly side
![[http://furcadia.com/banners/images/DownloadB2.gif]](http://furcadia.com/banners/images/DownloadB2.gif "http://furcadia.com/banners/images/DownloadB2.gif")
My favourite part of me
And not my ugly side
Not my ugly side
Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...
Good advice, Cagster
The "date" was actually rather nice with the 19 year-old although I'm not sure it was a date. How do you define a date? Does someone actually have to mention the word date? We know each other a bit at work, have a chat etc and she asked me to go see the new Twilight film with her. We then got some food and went for a drink...She's single, knows I'm single and kept going on about how cold it was in the cinema (which it wasn't) until I put my arm around her (apparently my coat was insufficent in the fight against the cinema coldness). I didn't do anything else and she also kept holding my arm around town. I know women are complex but am I safe in assuming she may like me there or do I need a written admission first?
The "date" was actually rather nice with the 19 year-old although I'm not sure it was a date. How do you define a date? Does someone actually have to mention the word date? We know each other a bit at work, have a chat etc and she asked me to go see the new Twilight film with her. We then got some food and went for a drink...She's single, knows I'm single and kept going on about how cold it was in the cinema (which it wasn't) until I put my arm around her (apparently my coat was insufficent in the fight against the cinema coldness). I didn't do anything else and she also kept holding my arm around town. I know women are complex but am I safe in assuming she may like me there or do I need a written admission first?
Quote: Abacus, Nov 2009
Stick your lips on it and if she doesn't recoil in abject horror you'll be right, then pummel here and f*ck her off, she'll be ruined after that.
Good advice, Cagster
The "date" was actually rather nice with the 19 year-old although I'm not sure it was a date. How do you define a date? Does someone actually have to mention the word date? We know each other a bit at work, have a chat etc and she asked me to go see the new Twilight film with her. We then got some food and went for a drink...She's single, knows I'm single and kept going on about how cold it was in the cinema (which it wasn't) until I put my arm around her (apparently my coat was insufficent in the fight against the cinema coldness). I didn't do anything else and she also kept holding my arm around town. I know women are complex but am I safe in assuming she may like me there or do I need a written admission first?
Stick your lips on it and if she doesn't recoil in abject horror you'll be right, then pummel here and f*ck her off, she'll be ruined after that.
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This. Take the initiative and ask her out on a second 'date'. if/when the opportunity presents itself, be confident and make your intentions clear.
I mean, what was she wearing to be that cold in a cinema? Assuming the girl was dressed for the occasion and isn't suffering from poor circulation, both that and holding your arm around town, seems like a green light to me mate. I mean, the arm thing is almost a subconscious 'this one's mine'. It's definitely nowhere near as vague as the signs of interest a lot of women will give you to work with.
Go for it!
I mean, what was she wearing to be that cold in a cinema? Assuming the girl was dressed for the occasion and isn't suffering from poor circulation, both that and holding your arm around town, seems like a green light to me mate. I mean, the arm thing is almost a subconscious 'this one's mine'. It's definitely nowhere near as vague as the signs of interest a lot of women will give you to work with.
Go for it!
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WOO-HAH!
It sounds like she is well into you 
insisting on a cuddle in cinema! When I go to the cinema on not-a-date I'm terrified that the guy will try to put his arm around me, I don't know what I'd do. Definitely not a friend thing in my opinion.
insisting on a cuddle in cinema! When I go to the cinema on not-a-date I'm terrified that the guy will try to put his arm around me, I don't know what I'd do. Definitely not a friend thing in my opinion.
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Quote: Valerie Holliday, Dec 2009
I can touch my nose and everything *smug*
And you have a very long tongue.
Thumbs up.
I can touch my nose and everything *smug*
Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009
Then they clearly just don't know what they're missing.
Quote: Valerie Holliday, Dec 2009And you have a very long tongue.
Thumbs up.
I can touch my nose and everything *smug*
Then they clearly just don't know what they're missing.
Darren is most certainly not my god!
Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009
I do know that, women need to know it. Though some know and still reject me because they like 'bad guys'.
I do actually know a couple of girls who I think I could have a good chance with, however, I don't make a move because they are BORING. Which is a hateful thing to say but it's TRUE.
Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009Quote: Claire, Dec 2009It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
I do know that, women need to know it. Though some know and still reject me because they like 'bad guys'.
I do actually know a couple of girls who I think I could have a good chance with, however, I don't make a move because they are BORING. Which is a hateful thing to say but it's TRUE.
Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009
Hijack away! And George, I would agree with Claire based on what I know of you and the little everyone else says.
Out of interest, for peeps like Tom, George and me, what is it about getting people of the opposite (or same!) sex to be interested? If you're not highly sexy what's everyone's methods?
I think this should be turned into a general single thread where people can report on their quests for love/sex and the rest of VR can give advice where appropiate *nods*
Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009Quote: Claire, Dec 2009It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
Hijack away! And George, I would agree with Claire based on what I know of you and the little everyone else says.
Out of interest, for peeps like Tom, George and me, what is it about getting people of the opposite (or same!) sex to be interested? If you're not highly sexy what's everyone's methods?
I think this should be turned into a general single thread where people can report on their quests for love/sex and the rest of VR can give advice where appropiate *nods*
weellll, i know my problem is confidence
generally i don't have any whatsoever and i take too long to feel comfortable around people & come out of my shell
i mean... i locked myself in a toilet for 10 minutes the last time i went out >_>
i came out because i realised i was being an idiot, but yeah
generally i don't have any whatsoever and i take too long to feel comfortable around people & come out of my shell
i mean... i locked myself in a toilet for 10 minutes the last time i went out >_>
i came out because i realised i was being an idiot, but yeah
Quote: I.R. baboon, Dec 2009
Confidence is a growing thing, back when I was a shattered husk of a man, prior to my rebirth as an all conquering gargantuan WINNER with the mind of a f*cking scientist and a c*ck like a Burmese python, I tried to focus on the little wins, chatting to new people, just getting out, then taking it from there and remembering those little WINS the next time you feel a bit sh*t, then building on them, till you're just one huge f*ck off ball of WIN, bitchslapping sh*t all over the f*cking show.
In summary; Hang in there
weellll, i know my problem is confidence
generally i don't have any whatsoever and i take too long to feel comfortable around people & come out of my shell
i mean... i locked myself in a toilet for 10 minutes the last time i went out >_>
i came out because i realised i was being an idiot, but yeah
Confidence is a growing thing, back when I was a shattered husk of a man, prior to my rebirth as an all conquering gargantuan WINNER with the mind of a f*cking scientist and a c*ck like a Burmese python, I tried to focus on the little wins, chatting to new people, just getting out, then taking it from there and remembering those little WINS the next time you feel a bit sh*t, then building on them, till you're just one huge f*ck off ball of WIN, bitchslapping sh*t all over the f*cking show.
In summary; Hang in there
River Phoenix
Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009
i didn't know George had a long tongue but i s'pose that Veg Rev is full of amazing discoveries.
Quote: Valerie Holliday, Dec 2009And you have a very long tongue.
Thumbs up.
I can touch my nose and everything *smug*
i didn't know George had a long tongue but i s'pose that Veg Rev is full of amazing discoveries.
**
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Quote: Abacus, Dec 2009
Nah, last girl I ended up seeing was the sister to my then guitarist, he had spent ages banging on to her and in turn me about how well we'd get on... Figures he was right.. More right than he was expecting (To the point where he actually banned us from meeting for ages for this very reason). So erm, having mates bang onto folk about how awesome you are or how well you'd get one maybe?
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009I find clubbing them over the head helps...Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009Quote: Claire, Dec 2009It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
Out of interest, for peeps like Tom, George and me, what is it about getting people of the opposite (or same!) sex to be interested? If you're not highly sexy what's everyone's methods?
Nah, last girl I ended up seeing was the sister to my then guitarist, he had spent ages banging on to her and in turn me about how well we'd get on... Figures he was right.. More right than he was expecting (To the point where he actually banned us from meeting for ages for this very reason). So erm, having mates bang onto folk about how awesome you are or how well you'd get one maybe?
Quote: Abacus, Dec 2009
Confidence, like everyone else has said, is key.
I don't consider myself attractive, but I don't really find going out with girls very difficult, it depends though. I mean anyone can pull in a nightclub, and what you do to pull a girl can directly affect what you get out of it. A cheesy chat-up line will get you a slap or sex if she thinks it's cute. A compliment will get you a slap or a date and rohypnol will get you pretty much anything you want and a prison sentence.
Trying to go out with a girl you already know is hard though, I've always found it hard to steer clear of the dreaded "friend zone" myself. I went out with a girl from work once and it didn't really take that much; chatting, compliments and a lot of flirting got me a date and a further three months of going out with her before I eventually realised she was an asshole.
Anyway, for girls confidence is all you need, aprt from remembering to be yourself. It's cliché, I know, but it's very true. For guys it's a different story, but I'll leave that for another thread!
Quote: Claire, Dec 2009Quote: Kid A, Dec 2009Quote: Claire, Dec 2009It is stupid women's fault, George. Blame women, it will make you feel better, and is also more truthful. My impression of you is as a bloke who would look after a lass and who would make her laugh and feel special and I'm sure most here, if not all, would agree.
I'd disagree with you for various reasons but I don't want to hijack Alex's thread
Sod it, VR is dying, post where you like. Alexatron is probably off somewhere with his hareem, he won't mind. I guess I just think you need to believe in yourself more, man. There are so many sh*te men in the world who treat everyone like crap and don't think about anyone but themselves. You are better than them, you need to know that.
Hijack away! And George, I would agree with Claire based on what I know of you and the little everyone else says.
Out of interest, for peeps like Tom, George and me, what is it about getting people of the opposite (or same!) sex to be interested? If you're not highly sexy what's everyone's methods?
I think this should be turned into a general single thread where people can report on their quests for love/sex and the rest of VR can give advice where appropiate *nods*
Confidence, like everyone else has said, is key.
I don't consider myself attractive, but I don't really find going out with girls very difficult, it depends though. I mean anyone can pull in a nightclub, and what you do to pull a girl can directly affect what you get out of it. A cheesy chat-up line will get you a slap or sex if she thinks it's cute. A compliment will get you a slap or a date and rohypnol will get you pretty much anything you want and a prison sentence.
Trying to go out with a girl you already know is hard though, I've always found it hard to steer clear of the dreaded "friend zone" myself. I went out with a girl from work once and it didn't really take that much; chatting, compliments and a lot of flirting got me a date and a further three months of going out with her before I eventually realised she was an asshole.
Anyway, for girls confidence is all you need, aprt from remembering to be yourself. It's cliché, I know, but it's very true. For guys it's a different story, but I'll leave that for another thread!
Πανδώρα:
Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie
Rayanne Graff:
Happy Easter.
IGH:
Just who was The Brigadier
ratammer:
squeak
Debs|OWA:
o/
IGH:
Wibble
Vel:
*sigh*
Emma:
Hi VR...
Princess Psycho:
Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?
Claire:
SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR
Rayanne Graff:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Lucozade Lover:
Happy New Year!
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot:
Happy new year <3
Claire:
BOXSHOUT
Rayanne Graff:
Happy Easter.
Emma:
So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.
Emma:
I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.
Emma:
I think it will be going offline around the end of May
Emma:
It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.
Emma:
A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.