Notebook Letters 5.

WLW

I guess you get a lot of marriage proposals, WLW. And from both sexes, which might be quite a worrying thing, well, never fear, I no longer want to marry you. I'm in love with an incredibly cute guy who looks quite a lot like Dawson, off Dawson's Creek.

I love that show. Unfortunately, I don't think he reciprocates my affections.

moosesNOTmeese

Oh nice, one minute you want me and then Dawson turns up... cheers.

Zine; 7th of January, 2003; 5/8.

The Greatest Mr Kipling Cake

What is the greatest Mr Kipling cake? This is the eternal question. I would like to nominate the Country Slice for this honour. Or the Christmas Slice. Or the Angel Slice. Or the Lemon Slice. Or the Bakewell Slice.

Oh h*ll, I do have a clue. A hand, please, WLW. You do like cakes, don't you?

Sykopathik Mushroom

Do I like cakes? Do I like cakes? Is Gareth Gates annoying?

Zine; 7th of January, 2003; 6/8.

Ziners

May I wish you all the best in 2003 and I hope your resolutions are like mine, stuff like "eat more Jaffa Cakes" and "forget to tidy room more often" etc.

Oh, and naturellement, "write to Zine every day and get printed more".

The 12th Lemon

I made 17 resolutions and have broken 16 already!

Zine; 7th of January, 2003; 7/8.

It's about time I wrote in, having read PS daily for years. There really isn't anything like it. It'd be tiresome to check the websites of all the bands I like, so PS is the best place for news. Can you please finish with a letter attacking Geri Halliwell, so Pinsent can't reply? Ryan Woodward

There'll be no incentive to get up in the morning when PS ends. Where do I go now to expand my taste? Still- I see Shack the day after. Mark Pritchard

The Void; Teletext page 825; 2nd of December, 2009; 3/7.

Not having really bothered with The Smiths or Morrissey, I listened to Desert Island Discs on Radio 4 with no pre-conceptions. Morrissey was refreshingly different, honest, gracious, thoughtful and self-depracating, tinged with wry humour. What's wrong with that? Attila

I can't believe A Genuine Freakshow got a mention here. They are indeed epic. Check out the similarly great Cats And Cats And Cats. Graham C

The Void; Teletext page 825; 2nd of December, 2009; 4/7.

How can Earls miss out A-ha's Foot of The Mountain in the Top 50 list? There's a lot of albums I've not heard of before with only a few well-known albums, as if the list is just your personal favourites. Robert Day

Earls: Er, yes. That's the point.

When PS closes, I recommend the BBC music website. Nothing can replace Earls' passion, but it has news and reviews. All the best to Earls with WET Records. Garion

The Void; Teletext page 825; 2nd of December, 2009; 5/7.

how many pages can one notebook have? you should take a photo of this notebook so we can gasp at how many METRES WIDE it is!

Hair

Purple vs Blue

Purple is the best colour, but blue looks very nice on lads.

What does everyone else think- blue or purple?

TheUnitedTruth

Red is the way forward. Spiky red hair is even better.

Zine 12th of January, 2003; 4/8.

Thanks to Earls for fighting the good fight.. You truly mattered- to me, my friends, and countless others. Our world will be that bit more desolate without you there each morning. As we try to fill that PS-shaped hole, we'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best and remembering the wonderful discoveries that you gave us. Kev Lee

I can't argue with Telekinesis' self-titled debut as album of the year. I love that record. The Doc

The Void; Teletext page 825; 2nd of December, 2009; 6/7.

The first Punisher

I never understood why 1989's Punisher with Dolph Lundgren was slammed by comic book fans. I loved it and had read the comics. It's got a larger body count than recent versions, a good plot, was well directed, and good actors. Richard, Wolverhampton

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of December, 2009; 1/6.

Someone should make a film

At the risk of sounding sentimental, why doesn't somebody write a film script commemorating Vortex for a film like Robert Altman's swansong A Prairie Home Companion? What do other people think? Anon, Oxford

Surely the most testosterone-fuelled film has to be one of the most angry and cynical films ever made: The Dirty Dozen? And as for film of the year, for me it has to be State of Play. Edward, Kent

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of December, 2009; 2/6.

Horrible decision to end forum

I worry for the Big Screen staff. I hope you'll find employment worthy of your writing talents. C4 should comission you all for a film review show hosted by Victor Olliver with guest reviewers Mark Kermode and Kim Newman. Reza, Huddersfield

Vortex, it's a horrible decision to end your successful run. Thanks for everything. Rosie- my desert island disc is Withnail And I. Dave, Lincs

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of December, 2009; 3/6.

Bruce's acting somewhat wooden

Carol- Oh no, your answers have given away all those movie twists! Now everyone knows that Nicole Kidman was really a fella, and Bruce Willis is a sledge. Although I have seen sledges that aren't as wooden as him. Nicko, Derby

There is a James Bond rip-off called OK Connery (aka Operation Kid Brother) starring Neil Connery and Bond regulars Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell. Lee, Fife

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of November, 2009; 4/6.

The Shining Kubrick's best film

The Shining is the only good film that Stanley Kubrick ever made, although you need to forget that it's supposed to be the film of Stephen King's book. The rest of his films tend to be tedious and pretentious rubbish. Matc, Salford

Tony, how do you know Stanley Kubrick made "at keast two bad films" if you've only seen The Shining? But I do agree it's overrated though. Michael, Accrington

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of December, 2009; 5/6.

Film lives up to hype

I have seen Paranormal Activity and, for once, you can believe the hype. It still won't beat The Blair Witch Project, although I got laughed at by some of my fellow Vortexters last time I mentioned that. John, Leicester

I will miss Vortex. It's the first ting I read in the morning. I enjoy reading everyone's views on films. I've gotten better recommendations from here than those overpriced film mags. L, Bromley

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 2nd of December, 2009; 6/6.

Top 50 albums of 2009

1) Telekinesis! Telekinesis
2) Checkmate Savage The Phantom Road
3) The Primary Colours The Horrors
4) Journal For Plague Lovers Manic Street Preachers
5) Colonia A Camp
6) Twice Born Men Sweet Billy Pilgrim
7) Up From Below Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros
Eight) Veckatimest Grizzly Bear
9) Flashmob Vitalic
10) The Sleeper Leisure Society
11) The First Day of Spring Noah And The Whale
12) Judy Sucks A Lemon For Breakfast Cornershop
13) It's Blitz Yeah Yeah Yeahs
14) Hazards of Love The Decemberists
15) Epcot Starfields Windmill
16) We Ain't Got No Money, Honey, But We Got Rain Liam Frost
17) Two Dance Wild Beasts
Eighteen) Junior Royksopp
19) Empire of The Sun Empire of The Sun
20) My Maudlin Career Camera Obscura

21) Until The Earth Begins To Part Broken Records
22) Monsters of Folk Monsters of Folk
23) Forget The Night Ahead Twilight Sad
24) Hundred of Lions Erin McKeown
25) Origin Orphan The Hidden Cameras
26) Everything Is New Jack Penate
27) New Worlds Charlotte Hatherley
28) The Liberty of Norton Folgate Madness
29) Bitte Orca Dirty Projectors
30) Kingdom of Rust Doves

31) Turning The Mind Maps
32) Tarot Sport F*** Buttons
33) Don't Stop Annie
34) Beginning Middle End The B of The Bang
35) Fantasies Metric
36) Yeah So Slow Club
37) Travels With Myself And Another Future of The Left
38) Room 7 1/2 Dot Allison
39) Wilco (The Album) Wilco
40) To The City From The Sea Beat The Radar

41) Gorilla Manor Local Natives
42) Truelove's Gutter Richard Hawley
43) Lonely Road Liam McKahey And The Bodies
44) Hands Little Boots
45) The Real Deal Spiral Stairs
46) The Last Laugh Joker's Daughter
47) Which B****? The View
48) Once Kid Harpoon
49) The Duckworth Lewis Method The Duckworth Lewis Method
50) The New Sound Of DON'T MOVE!

Teletext page 823; 3rd of December, 2009.

Where's Edison when needed?

By John Earls

For nearly 20 years, the CD reigned supreme. For a decade before that, it was tape and for the 20 years before vinyl was the only format.

But the past decade has seen iPods, MySpace and Spotify all transform the way we listen to music.

And yet the one overriding theme of the end of decade lists of great albums was "There's not been a lot to get excited about, has there?"

If there's been a theme to music- and entertainment in general- this decade, it's how fractured it's all become.

In the same way that Sky+, iPlayer and the range of TV channels has helped erase the watercooler moments of everyone seeing shows at the same time, so music has become unified.

Nobody agrees on what's a good album any more, as someone is making songs more suited to your taste.

Tied in with the recent explosion of entertainment technology, from the web to mobiles, is the fact that nobody gets excited by new developments.

When the CD came along, it was regarded as a very big deal.

Whether it's Spotify or MySpace, none of the music trends has cause so much excitement because they feel like fads. We instinctively feel something new will replace it, and soon.

However faddish, new means of hearing music need to be dissected.

As PS has bemoaned before, what that's meant is that the music itself has been written about a lot less than the way it's being delivered to you.

So debates about the merits of MySpace, Spotify and filesharing are written about, taking up the space that would once have belonged to examining whether Band X's new album, is any cop or not.

To an extent, none of the new fads have caught on outside of specialist fans.

Your mum might have an iPod, but has she ever used Twitter, MySpace or Spotify? Probably not, despite the endless coverage devoted to them.

It's not hard to draw a link to their excitable coverage and the poor state of the charts; while we're ignoring the music, the Cowells, Streisands and Priests are free to clean up.

Is there any way of getting a consensus back in music?

Now that the genie is out of the bottle and everyone can spend months of indulging in nothing but dubstep, Americana or grindcore, maybe not.

But maybe all it needs is for someone to truly revolutionise music in the way Edison blew sheet music out of the water.

Teletext page 824; 3rd of December, 2009.

1950s resurrected

News that The Coldstream Guards are to have an album in the charts proves my theory that music has returned to the '50s. We have Simon Cowell, as the new Larry Parnes, while the album chart- full of singing priests, soldiers and the return from the dead of Streisand, Bassey and Lynn- reflects what they were like before bands began realising the importance of albums.

It looks to me like PS is getting out at the right time. Simon Franklin

The Void; Teletext page 825; 3rd of December, 2009; 1/7.

Cowell taking over

I'm trying to work out which is more depressing- the fact that PS closes in a fortnight, or that Simon Cowell's minions make up four of the Top 10 albums and three of the Top 10 singles. Tyler Durden

Dylan has no cred now that he's made a Christmas album? Unlike Weller, he made people think about writing lyrics. Without him, Weller would still be in a sub-Who covers band. Ray Davies was a far superior songwriter. Joe O'Connor

The Void; Teletext page 825; 3rd of December, 2009; 2/7.

The Soulshaker How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Dunno. You could ask Jenny from the block.

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot Think of a number, WLW. Okay, is it 9, 758, 261.78? It is, isn't it? Yes!

Wow, how did you know? Genius never fails to amaze me.

The Pink Poodle The poodles have landed, and will soon take over.

Quick, Mavis, run. Last time she met one of those she nearly had kittens.

Zine; 17th of January, 2003; 1/8.

A Question

One question and one question only will determine if WLW is, in fact, male or female.

Do you eat Yorkie bars?

Phoenix From The Flames

Send me some and I'll have my decision.

Zine; 17th of January, 2003; 2/8.

Boys

Why are boys like buses?

No-one fancies you for ages and then, as if by magic, everyone decides you are the most beautiful creature on the planet and gets jealous if you so much look at another boy.

nedt's hard being fancied, isn't it? I don't know how I'd cope if this happened to me more often than once in a decade!

Haribo Girl

I feel your pain. No really. Valentine's will be a struggle.

Zine; 17th of January, 2003; 3/8.

Zine

I love rock and roll,
I wish that Spears would go AWOL,
I love rock and roll,
Do cover her head with a bowl!

Yeah, and the rest- 'cos there's worse out there, ya know...

Lucozade (on the prowl again) Lover

Seen that new Justin Timberlake video? He's going to be hit one more time!

Zine; 17th of January, 2003; 4/8.

Top 10 albums I've found thanks to PS

1) Sleep No More Comsat Angels
2) Real Life Joan As Police Woman
3) Martha Wainwright Martha Wainwright
4) Funeral Arcade Fire
5) More Adventurous Rilo Kiley
6) My Mind's Eye Comsat Angels
7) Replace Why With Worry Dear Reader
Eight) Don't Stop Annie
9) Strength In Numbers The Music
10) Watch The Fireworks Emma Pollock

Deadmartyr

The Void; Teletext page 825; 3rd of December, 2009; 6/7.

Line-up announcer perfect role?

If it were possible to have at least one part in your fave film, what would it be? I would absolutely love to be the police line-up announcer in The Usual Suspects. What a hugely enjoyable experience that would have been. The casting is perfect.

Jack, Glasgow

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 3rd of December, 2009; 1/6.