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Reg was clearly losing the plot after mistaking his radio for a golden delicious.

George Notebook Letters 3.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 12:29 pm

River Phoenix

Ziners

I need more love. Anybody want a 6"2", blonde haired, blue eyed punk boy into AFI, Rancid, Mad Caddie, Pennywise, Snuff, Green Day, Lightyear and more?

Please speak now or forever eat more peas, because they are green and goblins aren't legal.
Azhag the Slaughterer

Ooooh, interesting. Got a pic? I feel a Zine gallery coming on.

Zine; 3rd of March, 2002; 8/8.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 12:43 pm

River Phoenix

Gothic Raven To whoever said "Good things come to those who wait". I'm fed up with waiting.

Me too, matey.

Kilted Englishman I'm over Sabrina but now I'm obsessed with Alana from Smallville. What medication should I take?

Something very very strong.

Onyx To let: Space on sub page 1 of C4 page 142. Price: Vaguely humorous comment or nearest offer.

I can't think of anything vaguely humorous, but that didn't half make me larf.

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 12:46 pm

River Phoenix

Brigadier

Are you a hunting, shooting kind of chap? If so, I do hope you have no antlers or hunting trophies on your wall.

If you die, I will break into your "palatial abode" and steal your port. Every drop of it. You have been warned, sir.
The One With The Mighty Antlers

I can't see it somehow. Maybe a collection of sherry antlers.

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 12:49 pm

River Phoenix

Corporate Sponsored Shows:

* Audi do they do that?

* 5 Guys Named Flymo

Oh, I give up.
Happy Monday everyone!
catx

I've thought and thought... and thought but there ain't nothin' comin'.

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 12:56 pm

River Phoenix

Jezza The Bassist

I so agree abouut Muse, although I would go for Citizen Erased for the Zine Anthem. It starts really heavy and loud but ends so beautifully and delicately.

Also, there's this woman in school (I don't know who she is) but she looks just like Matt Bellamy of Muse. Same strange nose and everything. Does anyone know if Matt has a long lost sister? If so, I've found her.
Gracious Free Range Egg (The Guitarist)

He does have a long lost sister- she works in Woolies in Putney.

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 4/8.

Edited by Rayanne Graff Aug 2009

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:08 pm

River Phoenix

Ninja Cow

So you want a Zine fight, do you? You haggis-munching, deep-fried Mars Bar-loving Nessie lover. Look no further cos I'm going to be the one to make hamburgers out of you then.

So, come on then. Have a go if you think you're hard enough. I await your reply with bated breath.
Fluffy The Evil One

Marilyn Manson's Fight Song- perhaps a Zine anthem?

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:17 pm

River Phoenix

Worst Town

Although Stoke doesn't have a museum about socks or lawnmowers, we do have Port Vale FC and are stuck between Birmingham and Manchester.

Last year, my humble little city was voted the worst town to live in in Britain. I have to argue with that, obviously the "judges" have never been to Rotherham or Darlington. So, any other fellow Stokie Ziners raise your arms up and say "Ya rit, duck."
Undeniable Me

Isn't that the Potteries or something? What's that about then?

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:20 pm

River Phoenix

Zine lurve

Following the lend of the great Broccoli and Fluffy, there is now an awful lotta Zine type lurve going on in the Vegetable Revolution.

So, I wondered, WLW, do you have anyone? Or do we need to set you up with The Brigadier?
lilac leopard

Thank you, but I'm busy that day- any day... every day!

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:23 pm

River Phoenix

Jim

Here's a haiku I wrote in honour of that brave little dog of Slough station, Jim.

Station Jim little dog
He loved the train station
Now he is quite dead.

Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it? Sometimes, when you walk past his glass at the station, you can hear a ghostly bark. Not that I've been. Station Jim- share the legend.
Secluded Rainbow

Poor ickle Jimbo- gone to the dawgs.

Zine; 4th of March, 2002; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:26 pm

River Phoenix

Galder Weatherwax's Hat Zine antem is it? It's got to be Someone Keeps Moving My Chair by TMBG. I mean, it's just got to be. Why wouldn't it be?

Because... er... actually, I can't think of a reason.

Black Widow I just made a Cup a Soup in a bowl. Aren't I a rebel?

As rebels go, we're not talking Che Guevera here.

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:33 pm

River Phoenix

Wetherspoons

I work in my local Wetherspoons pub so, WLW, if you are ever in Wolverhampton, pop in and I'll give you a free pint of cider since you like it so much (just don't tell my boss).

I do about 40 hours a week, so I have more cash but less time to e-mail Zine and think of ideas, which explains my downturn in appearing recently.
Fluffy the Evil One

Go anywhere for free cider, me- yes... even Wolverhampton!

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:37 pm

River Phoenix

Food Technology

What's the point? In my two years I've been doing it, all I have learnt is that my teacher is like Anne Robinson and that it makes me hungry.

I made some chocolate cake though. Please could you draw me a pic to stick on my coursework?
lilac leopard

Great pic, huh? There's a sort of fondant fancy thing goin' on.

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:40 pm

River Phoenix

An Imposter In Our Midst

Fellow Ziners, I am not from Barnsley, no matter what you may think I have never been anywhere near Barnsley. I have never been to a Zine meeting (soory, people) and my name is not Fay or anything similar.

And I still find myself strangely attracted to Michael Palin... oh wait, hold on, that's not relevant, is it? Whoops!
She Who Lost The Plot

Certainly not relevant, thank you! So... who's the nasty fake then?

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:44 pm

River Phoenix

Oh, The Possibilities

I had a dream the other night and, more to the point, it's one I can share with you all.

I dreamt that I was in this old farmhouse with Grillamo, Monki, Savage Cabbage and Dot Cotton and... well OK, maybe I can't tell you what happened, but it did involve a bus.
Uneducated Shampoo

The mind boggles- perhaps it is best kept to yourself, eh?

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:47 pm

River Phoenix

Nothing I Do Is My Fault!

I'm the product of a malevolent society- brought up to an alarming degree by McDonald's and Disney- who has no concept of right or wrong.

The world is conspiring against me, to vilify and humiliate me. Besides, I didn't know that the old woman and her poodle were there at the time... honest, Guv!
Fat Sloper Action

You realise that poor woman can never eat fishfingers again, don't you?

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:49 pm

River Phoenix

Ziners

I've never understood the fuss about chips. I just don't get it.

We've just been conditioned to like them because they're supposed to be bad for us.

Stringy cheese on the other hand, the opportunities are endless... How do you eat yours, WLW?
The Apeel-able Cheese Girl

Is there a chip revolution going on or something? I like chips.

Zine; 6th of March, 2002; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:52 pm

River Phoenix

WLW

It has come to my attention that I have developed a strange obsession with the Brigadier. Each day, I sit down in front of the TV and turn to page 142 with the hope that the wonderful Brigadier will have been printed!

If he has, then I jump around and then sing with joy. If not, I sit in a corner, eating chocolate cake. Is there a cure? Somebody must be able to help!
Temporarily Insane II

Frankly, sitting in a corner eating chocolate cake sounds delightful.

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 1:57 pm

River Phoenix

WLW

Afraid I can't come to the latest Zine wedding. You see, it's on a Friday and so is the Debating Society, which I couldn't possibly miss.

All the filthiest minds in my school and it's a dirty joke a minute (and that's just the staff). Also, the lad who organises supports Blackburn- a joke in itself which gives me an ample chance to gloat about how much better Chelsea are doing.
Sapphistication

That would be the same Blackburn that just won a cup, yes?

Zine; 5th of March, 2002; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:13 pm

River Phoenix

WLW

I've noticed that you give certain 'better known' Ziners nicknames ie Pluggy, Fluffman, Wolfie. Upom recognising this I request two things.
1 Please don't give Kellogulation a nickname like Kelly.
2 Please give me a nickname and I might be noticed for once. You can call me Losty or Prophy or even Lopro. They all have a nice ring, don't you agree?
Lostprophet
PS feel free to edit this letter to make it better.

I'm afraid my editing skills ain't that good, Losty.

Zine; 4th of January, 2002; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:24 pm

River Phoenix

WLW Is Male- More Evidence!

When confronted with an unwelcome issue males will just joke around the subject, leaving their feelings unclear and not giving a proper answer. Females, however, will go red in the face and either keep quiet or run away. WLW just makes jokes leaving his orientation deliberately ambiguous, thus he is displaying typically male characteristics.
Parsley Possum

And how do you know I'm not red in the face now, huh?

Zine; 4th of January, 2002; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:35 pm

River Phoenix

Dear WLW And Ziners

My top movie cliches

1 Person sits bolt upright in bed, sweating and panting after a nightmare.
2. Every bullet fired in a movie has a ricochet sound.
3 Cars collide. They take off, fly through the air and burst into flames.
They just don't happen!
Shotgun Zeigler

And every bad made-for-TV movie had Jaclyn Smith in it- bizarre!

Zine; 3rd of January, 2002; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:42 pm

River Phoenix

Poetry Corner

Why do you all discriminate against poetry? Why does it just have a Corner? Why not give it a bit more space, like, say, a Poetry Room?

Think of all those poems, clogged up in a dingy corner. It's disgraceful treatment. If I was a piece of poetry, I'd sue you.
The Man With The Golden Gun

Aren't you only supposed to integrate back into society Wednesdays?

Zine; 3rd of February, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:50 pm

River Phoenix

My Ideal Chap

1 Tall (not difficult as I'm so short\0.
2 Spiky black/ blue/ red/ blonde hair or long floppy dark hair.
3 Someone who looks good in dresses.
4 Or someone who just looks lovely in baggy jeans/ shorts and a jolly top/ hoodie.
5 Skinny build (but I'm not too bothered really).
6 Someone with the most wonderful personality in the world.
Not too much to ask, is it?
The DimGirl (from the molehole)

I agree, fussy doesn't seem to be getting in the way, does it?

Zine; 3rd of February, 2002; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:53 pm

River Phoenix

manky horrible brussel sprout Has anyone heard of the band Meanwhile, Back In Russia? Don't you think that's just the coolest name for a band ever?

Better than Chumbawumba?

Lara Croft Hello, WLW. How many messages do you have in your inbox, huh? Huh? Am I annoying you? huh? Huh? Am I? Am I?

Oh, like you wouldn't believe.

Despotic Banana Goats are not goats, they are sheep with beards (but don't let them know you know).

OK, secret.

Zine; 3rd of February, 2002; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 2:56 pm

River Phoenix

WLW

I have just been to the Cumberland Pencil Museum. Oh yes, I've been there and bought the pencil to prove it. Did you know that it holds the longest pencil in the UK which is a whole 2 metres(ish) long? Isn't that rubbish? I was very underwhelmed.
Secluded Rainbow

Why would anyone want a pencil that's 2 metres long? I mean, why?

Zine; 7th of January, 2002; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:00 pm

River Phoenix

Mob Propaganda

In an effort to build up their number, Trendies are now resorting to shameless propaganda. In (what used to be) my favourite shop I saw a card that said 'Happy birthday, trendy' on it. I expect soon they will be selling Adidas-made wrapping paper and Slipknot endorsed stationery. I want to move.
The Gingerbread Frog

Wherever it is you live, you get outta there fast!

Zine; 7th of January, 2002; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:07 pm

River Phoenix

Zine

If I was the richest person in the world I'd:

* Buy the FA and make it illegal for anyone to beat Ipswich.
* Hire someone to "take care of" A1, Westlife, S Club 7.
* Throw a party for all Ziners celebrating the split of Steps.
A Tractor Called Spam
PS Ipswich 5 Sunderland 0.

Charlton Athletic 3 Ipswich Town 2. Far funnier, I welcome!

Zine; 7th of January, 2002; 6/8.

Edited by Rayanne Graff Aug 2009

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:19 pm

River Phoenix

You Know You're On Something When You See:

* Ant doing a show without Dec
* Will Smith doing his own music (how dare he use Sister Sledge)
Brian Conley as the next gay icon (my friend fancies him, but she's a she!)
* Prince William going out with my cousin (one's for fox hunting, one's against, so I don't think they'll get on)
Sister Sledge Brother

An Eminem interview without the phrase "Y'know what I'm sayin'" in it.

Zine; 7th of February, 2002; 4/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:29 pm

River Phoenix

Never Say Chicken Chow Mein To A Lamppost

Some things are unexplainable- Jim Davidson still has a TV contract, Westlife still achieve musical success, people still watch Coronation Street- but this may well take the biscuit.

At the bottom of the school staircase is a sign that says "Up only". I'm sure the people walking down the staircase, starting from the bottom, will bear that in mind. All none of them.
Despotic Banana

It's like shampoo when it says 'Not to be taken internally'- duh!

Zine; 7th of February, 2002; 3/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:34 pm

River Phoenix

Dr Robb

I'd just like to say congratulations to Dr Robb PhD on his recent nomination for the Maddest Doctor at the Mad Doctor Awards- which he qualifies for due to having a PhD and also being stark raving mad!

Dr Robb PhD, I wish you the nest and please win= I've got £340 on you getting the award!
Jezza (The Hairy One)

Dr Nick won't be in it this time around, so the field is pretty clear.

Zine; 7th of February, 2002; 2/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:40 pm

River Phoenix

Parsley Possum Could you pass a message on to Davord? The slug repellent he sold me turned out to be nuclear waste. Now all my steps are 6ft long with tentacles.

Hope you've got a big garden.

Azhag The Slaughterer Doesn't Marmite and peanut butter taste really nice together?

Just tried it. Nope.

Loominus Froot As my dad says, if it's bigger than your head- don't put it in your mouth.

Very wise. Try eating a basketball. I tried. Case in point!

Zine; 7th of February, 2002; 1/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:46 pm

River Phoenix

WLW

By the time this printed (if it is printed), all my mock exams will be over, I'm writing this the night before they start and I really should be revising.

WLW- how were your GCSEs? Did you get one in writing witty comments at the bottom of Teletext pages? Maybe you went to Teletext college? More likely, you just turned up off the streets and they shoved you in front of a computer!
Anxious Aardvatk

Just 'turned up'? Shoved me? I was handpicked by the finest ads.

Zine; 6th of February, 2002; 8/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:52 pm

River Phoenix

For Everyone Who Couldn't Come

Here's what we did at the Manchester meeting:
* Graffitied a bench
* Befriended some mini moshers
* Lost each other a few times
* Got pierced
* Sang Take That songs
* Pushed each other around in trolleys
* Ran after trams
* Asked random people if they were The Brigadier
snaz- One of The Locals

Sounds like it was a hoot. Take That? I assume Broccoli was in attendance.

Zine; 6th of February, 2002; 7/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 3:56 pm

River Phoenix

Things That It Would Be Amusing To Hear Dr Nick Say

* So?
* Wait until he's not expecting it and then poke him in the eye.
* Sorry, but you're beyond help.
* My mates down the pub thought that this letter was an absolute scream!
* Boooooring.
Arkela

Dr Nick is the consumate professional. He would never DREAM of such quips.

Zine; 6th of February, 2002; 6/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 4:01 pm

River Phoenix

The Dream of All Gherkins

We are told, when we are very small, how the biggest and best gherkins are picked to go on McDonald's burgers. We look forward to it- it is our dream.

But the truth is a horrible nightmare. We are not eaten and enjoyed, oh no. We are thrown at floors and on walls, discarded like old chewing gum. We are worth more. Help all those little gherkins' dreams come true. Eat us!
Manic Depressive Gherkin

Aaaahhh, bless. I'll do me best- personally, I love gherkins!

Zine;6th of February, 2002; 5/8.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

12^th Aug 2009 at 4:07 pm

River Phoenix

Security Men

I loathe them. Why is it that, whenever I go into a shop, I get some over zealous, all brawn no brain, policeman reject stalking me around the world?

"Oh, she's a weird looking teenager, she must be here to steal." In Iceland? Yes, I'm going to nick some fish fingers to pay for my addiction.

Peeeeerlease! I just want some veggie soup- just leave me alone!
Resident Weirdo

Meanwhile, some clean-cut preppy type makes off with lemons up his jumper.

Zine; 6th of February, 2002; 4/8.

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

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Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

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Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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