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Mega-Zine: Unseen Footage and Alternative Takes

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Colin

| 10,038 posts

21^st Jun 2005 at 3:01 pm

I think you missed the point there, mate...

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Hathor_the_bull

| 46 posts

23^rd Jun 2005 at 9:42 am

mmm arm porn

Oh sorry I'm a total dork :-[
I don't have her reply now... :-[

Help!!!Killer toenailclippers from mars!!!
Visit my other site:
http://www.geocities.com/rabbit777666/ bandsthatrock.html

Hey WLW, like Waldo, Harpo and Captain Daehkcid before you, I think you should have an arch enemy whose name is yours reversed.

I shall fill that role! From now on, I'll be known as...

Oh. Wait. Damn. You really thought it through when you chose your name, huh?

Vigilante Maelstrom

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Topper

| 6,773 posts

6^th Jul 2005 at 11:53 am

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Richard Whiteley

This man's premature death has repercussions beyond the obvious. The question is; whose voice will now soundtrack my Mega-zine reading? Probably, if endless repeats are shown, still Richards, but that's not the point, the point is that I'll know he's no longer with us. It was the same when I used to watch Transformers after Optimus died. The comparison is a fair one.

Stuttercut

Not printed...as yet.

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts

12^th Jul 2005 at 3:36 pm

Hope is important.

"I saw a girl at the station today. She was the prettiest girl ever. I wish she wish she was my date for the Proms. I could really stalk her, I think. Oh gosh, I mean talk to her. Yes! Talk to her. Yes. Goodness.
From Little Blue Fox."

Does anyone think it is a good letter? - I am worried it is really horrible and creepy.
I am not sure I should send it to mega-zine.

:-[

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

12^th Jul 2005 at 4:47 pm

i like it

Hathor_the_bull

| 46 posts

13^th Jul 2005 at 6:24 pm

mmm arm porn

WLW doesn't like forward slashes, he turned mine into hyphons in my Welcome to the North Letter......

Help!!!Killer toenailclippers from mars!!!
Visit my other site:
http://www.geocities.com/rabbit777666/ bandsthatrock.html

JM

| 8,289 posts

13^th Jul 2005 at 9:19 pm

Quote: Hathor_the_bull_

WLW doesn't like forward slashes, he turned mine into hyphons in my Welcome to the North Letter......

Yes, you are Northern! Where abouts are you from?

Hathor_the_bull

| 46 posts

14^th Jul 2005 at 9:32 am

mmm arm porn

The wonder that is Gateshead

Help!!!Killer toenailclippers from mars!!!
Visit my other site:
http://www.geocities.com/rabbit777666/ bandsthatrock.html

JM

| 8,289 posts

14^th Jul 2005 at 10:59 am

a little too close to Washington for my liking

SEE OTHER ACCOUNT

| 1,786 posts

18^th Jul 2005 at 1:04 pm

Just some pointless edits to my first letter

Work Experience
Here's an insight into my life just for you.

BOSS: I could get a trained chimp to that faster.

ME: (Without looking up from the filing) Perhaps, but the lack of monkey faeces on the paper gives my way that personal touch.

They've asked me not to come back.

Smerker

He/she changed faeces to 'droppings' which is marginally less humourous and put the ':' after the stage direction which makes it that much harder to read.
Ho hum.

Find me over here.

http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/user/james

Love-In-Idleness.

| 45 posts

12^th Aug 2005 at 3:46 pm

"...and now for something completely different [and gross]".

Hey!
Do you want something long and red and hard?
Do you want to be popular with all the girls, and boys?
Then buy one of Sookie's canoes! (only

Many Bothans died to birng you this information.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

12^th Aug 2005 at 6:16 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Let me try this one.

FRIDGE MAGNETS

You know the ones that are single, brightly-coloured letters? Well, here am I, trying to arrange them sophisticatedly, when people come along and just end up making them into rude words and offensive comments.

So what do I do? I start manipulating certain letters so that the messages turn against their creator. It's pretty hard for them to get at me, as there are only two 'R's in the entire set.

To conclude, a wise man once said: "you'll never go broke so long as you cater to the lowest common denominator." I think that's a really salient point.
--
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Insane Jam Sow

| 443 posts

13^th Aug 2005 at 7:08 am

Bill Bryson is my God

Quote: unperson_

Let me try this one.

FRIDGE MAGNETS

You know the ones that are single, brightly-coloured letters? Well, here am I, trying to arrange them sophisticatedly, when people come along and just end up making them into rude words and offensive comments.

So what do I do? I start manipulating certain letters so that the messages turn against their creator. It's pretty hard for them to get at me, as there are only two 'R's in the entire set.

To conclude, a wise man once said: "you'll never go broke so long as you cater to the lowest common denominator." I think that's a really salient point.
--
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller

I bet you didn't text that massive lot in...

http://www.freewebs.com/megazine

Yes, my website still exists. Just about.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

13^th Aug 2005 at 1:54 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

unsurprisingly, no.

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

14^th Aug 2005 at 9:00 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Gut instinct says it's too long. So I presume they'll just dock the final paragraph.

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

15^th Aug 2005 at 12:57 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

Quote:

Well done Emma for supporting the frog. I have to say, buying into a ruthlessly marketed cynical cash-in that only serves to trample into the ground any last vestiges of musical artistry we have left for vast amounts of profits for the monopolistic record companies is *really* spot on.

In other news, sarcasm has been proved to be the second lowest form of wit, just above making fun of cripples.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic.

I assume the cripples bit didn't get on.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

15^th Aug 2005 at 1:21 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

It didn't no. But the rest did. Can't blame you for trying, though.

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts

24^th Aug 2005 at 9:30 am

Hope is important.

I sent this messgae two times, but it was not printed at-all. - I am sorry it is really mean and horrible. :-[

The Most embaressing Thing, by Little Becky BigMouth.

I went to HMV in Bluewaters with my boyfriend. I bought The Blue Room EP by Coldpaly (it was only

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

24^th Aug 2005 at 9:34 pm

why isn't she being printed anymore?

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

24^th Aug 2005 at 10:51 pm

Grog me.

did you hear about the deaf guy? neither did he

and one about sophie's choice the Choose Your Own Adventure^TM book.

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

24^th Aug 2005 at 10:56 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

"If you want to save the girl, turn to page 22.
If you want to save the boy, turn to page 66.
If you want to fight the zombie, turn to a different book, probably one written by Steve Jackson, yo."

Filled with existential dread and toast.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

25^th Aug 2005 at 3:15 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

And there's the elementh that Alice has exposed the truth about it being all a big hoax, so even though the letter's not printed, it's been read by the editors or whatever.

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

25^th Aug 2005 at 3:20 pm

alice is to blame

Colin

| 10,038 posts

28^th Aug 2005 at 6:33 pm

Rhiannon said...

My feminist friend (well, by 'friend' I mean 'annoying eejit') Rhiannon was quoting some historical idiot, saying that men are underdeveloped, emotional cripples, of walking abortion and all that jazz.
So I punched her in the face.

Vigilante Maelstrom

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

3^rd Sept 2005 at 11:20 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

As usual, I have no idea whether any of these made it or not. Let me know, you w*nkers.

Quote:

I think you'll find in your letter glorifying the shameless cash-in, you said you owned the single. So, are you a liar, or just incredibly confused? Judging by previous letters, I'll be nice and assume the latter.

Also, even if you had not, your statement that you bought all the shameless cash-in's merchandise still proves my point, no matter your contradictory nitpicking. No matter how you try to save face, you're still killing music.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic.

Quote:

Jaffa Cake, Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake, Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake. Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake, Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake. Jaffa Cake, Jaffa Cake Jaffa Cake - Jaffa Cake - Jaffa Cake, Jaffa Cake? Jaffa Cake!

Quite annoying, doing something to death, isn't it?

Freshly Squeezed Cynic.

Quote:

#2 - The Fluffy Wonder Happy Hour.

"And she stood there, bodice heaving, hands clenched tight in delerious ecstacy as she ran her eyes down his body, as he sauntered into the stables, holding his pitchfork in his strong hands"...

Oh. Wait. That's *my* bedtime story.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic.

Quote:

I don't know about you, but my favourite job is "dole scum". Or possibly "moist-maker".

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

Filled with existential dread and toast.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

4^th Sept 2005 at 12:46 am

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Alan. You are my hero.

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

5^th Sept 2005 at 9:00 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

Just doin' my job.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

SEE OTHER ACCOUNT

| 1,786 posts

19^th Sept 2005 at 8:18 am

A Personal Message From WLW

I am a giraffe. I am not, as you may have suspected a middle aged man with a poor sense of humour. Jaffa cakes are, on the whole, quite nice.
I haven't in anyway 'taken over' from someone else who made a item on teletext a little joy to read at the end of a day. None of you are at all unimaginative bandwagon jumpers with all the charm and wit of a testicle wart as you put in one line non sequitors.

"WLW"- Not Smerker

Find me over here.

http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/user/james

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

22^nd Sept 2005 at 12:28 pm

I aim to misbehave

Doubt this will get printed:

Knockin on my door

So there I was, watching old re-runs of News at Ten, when someone knocked on my door. Upon further inspection, I realised that it wasn't the door they knocked on, but the door frame!

Honestly, blind people! What can you do?

Paddy Irishman

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts

22^nd Sept 2005 at 3:40 pm

Hope is important.

Mythical Creatures. (Extra things).
Quote: Smashed_Strawberry_

MYTHICAL CREATURES

* Hedgehogs of happiness- they give hope and chocolate to people lost in woods.
* Mr Whippy cats- they lay little yummy ice creams instead of smelly poo
* Boast beef- really arrogant cows.
*Illusionist rabbits- they make balloon animals and also magic carrots out of nothingness.
*Were-bears- the scariest animals ever.
Little Blue Fox

And jogging giraffes? "They take you
RUNNING, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

Deleted scenes.
- Chat. - A cat that can talk.
- Coca Koala Bear.
- Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Previously Unseen Footage. (I drew a picture of a Mr Whippy Cat - I hope you think it is cool

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.com/Resources/Photos/art/IceCream_Cat.jpg]

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

22^nd Sept 2005 at 4:14 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

24^th Sept 2005 at 6:44 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

That is... brilliant. Marry me.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

Colin

| 10,038 posts

2^nd Oct 2005 at 7:18 am

My little cousin asked me if I wanted to play House with her. I accepted. I was quite shocked, though, when she picked up a stethoscope, limped around and insulted me.
Vigilante Maelstrom

I love this joke so much. I've sent it three times, WLW seems to not get it.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

PsyPo

| 2,175 posts

4^th Oct 2005 at 3:03 pm

The original potato.

Quote: Wibble_

Page 6

ALIEN VS PREDATOR

I'm a big fan of the Alien and Predator films, so it is a pleasant surprise to find that this new film, featuring them both, is on it's way to the big screen.

But which is better? Alien or Predator? I'd like to hear everyone else's opinions. Personally, I prefer the predator because it's faster, more intelligent and it's got a gun... I think.

Psychic Potato

All letters straight to PP's home
ADDRESS PLEASE. I HATE THEM BOTH.

This letter I sent might as well have been from Megazine itself, they butchered it up so much. Here is what I actually wrote:

Alien vs Predator

I am a huge fan of the Alien vs Predator comics, so it is pleasent to hear that this film remake is up and on its way to that big screen.

But which is better? The Aliens or the Predator? Which one does everyone else prefer? I'd like to hear your opinions. Personally I like the Predator mainly, because he's faster, more intelligent, doesn't drool and he's got a gun. He also has X-ray vision...I think.

Psychic Potato

This is the real letter I sent, straight from my own e-mail account! There are other small edits, but this is so much different to my original letter it was worth mentioning. I knew the Predator had a gun! I've seen the films a hundred times over!

Follow me on Twitter: @DJKrisopolis
Follow me on Twister: Right Hand Green!

http://thekettlereview.blogspot.co.uk/
http://52876.bandcamp.com/

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

5^th Oct 2005 at 11:48 am

I aim to misbehave

Doubt it'll be printed

Pen is stuck

I jabbed my friend Myfanwy (not the one from Little Britian) in the leg with a pen the other day. Unfortunately it got stuck.

She left a note for her parents as we went to the hospital saying "Bogmans pen is stuck in Myfanwy, gone to hospital"

Pity that Myfanwy has bad spelling.

The Shamrocking Bogman

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

5^th Oct 2005 at 11:54 am

Quote: Paddy_Irishman_

Doubt it'll be printed

Pen is stuck

I jabbed my friend Myfanwy (not the one from Little Britian) in the leg with a pen the other day. Unfortunately it got stuck.

She left a note for her parents as we went to the hospital saying "Bogmans pen is stuck in Myfanwy, gone to hospital"

Pity that Myfanwy has bad spelling.

The Shamrocking Bogman

haha

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

5^th Oct 2005 at 11:55 am

I aim to misbehave

she has warped my fragile little mind

Luckily she made it up to me

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

Debs|OWA: o/

IGH: Wibble

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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