Users

Quote: biggaginge

Quote: Squirrell_of_Doom

this one still astounds me

I bet someone has done it faster than Andy...

I don't know about that mate.

Quote: Wierd_Welshgirl

He hasn't quite used the 'l' word, but he has used romantic lines such as 'stop making me fall for you, you complete b*tch' and 'I know this just sounds like noise, but I miss you. Is that ok?'

Those aren't romantic lines. That's bullsh*t cut with just the right amount of longing to get you hooked

Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

Operator: “What sort of trouble??”

Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

Operator: “Went away?”

Caller: “They disappeared.”

Operator: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

Caller: “Nothing.”

Operator: “Nothing?”

Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

Caller: “How do I tell?”

Operator: “Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?”

Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”

Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”

Caller: “There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

Caller: “What’s a monitor?”

Operator: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”

Caller: “Yes, I think so.”

Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.

Caller: “Yes, it is.”

Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

Caller: “No.”

Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”

Caller: “Okay, here it is.”

Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”

Caller: “I can’t reach.”

Operator: “OK. Well, can you see if it is?”

Caller: “No.”

Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

Caller: “Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle, it’s because it’s dark.”

Operator: “Dark?”

Caller: “Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

Operator: “Well, turn on the office light then.”

Caller: “I can’t.”

Operator: “No? Why not?”

Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”

Operator: “A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?”

Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”

Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

Operator: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!”


(This story isnt true. He explained calmly that computers need electricity and he probably lost the work that he hadnt saved. This version was sent round in an email and its just funnier)

Quote: Wierd_Welshgirl

you know the worst part?

he used to BE a double glazing salesman.

*hangs head in shame*

But! I do realise this, and I'm on the lookout for someone better!
Alice, you may start advertising me in phone boxes.

Ahahaha. Ahaha. Aha.

SHAMED!!

Seriously though, bag yourself a good 'un next time.

Also, no tw*ts please, we don't like tw*ts. Amen.

Quote: biggaginge

2 Quid eh? Do Stock & Piccolino's qualify as good restaurants?

Piccolino's? A chain restaurant? Pfft.

Quote: biggaginge

Quote: Squirrell_of_Doom

Quote: biggaginge

2 Quid eh? Do Stock & Piccolino's qualify as good restaurants?

Piccolino's? A chain restaurant? Pfft.

I likes what I likes. Fellucini's was good as well.

EDIT

Here's the menu for Piccolino's
http://www.piccolinorestaurants.co.uk/pdfs/SEPT08/PICC-MANCHESTER-LIVERPOOL-CHESTER-STOCKTON-HEATH-MAIN-SEPT-08.pdf

Nowt wrong with Piccolino's. Especially with that menu. Damn.