Things that get on your tits somewhat.

Quote: Lilac_Leopard

Quote: Look_Dad_No_Tunes

Halifax pay 5% on their current account, which is pretty handy.

Not to me they f*cking don't. The thing says it's meant to be 5% but they've paid me about 3%. Hence why I can't be a*sed transferring my wages from my current account. It's quite easy to end up with more than a grand that way if you don't spend owt.

I refuse to keep more than is necessary in my current account. I've had people spending my money for me more than once. It's what I have an overdraft for. Anything else goes into my ISA for rainy days.

(and for reference I got paid £1600 last month, so yes, I do end up with more than a grand in my current account, I just choose not to keep it there for the obvious reason).

I haven't got much money because I have a house and a wife and a cat and an addiction to popcorn chicken, but I'm still a nice person.

The new shape Ford Ka.

Just eeewww.

Offends my lil Tonto so it does.

I've seen dog sh*t that looks better than that.

Why change something so popular? It works. Christ, it's been around for more than 10 years!

I never realised Martin was funny before, but he has so far made e laugh twice today.

Yeah! Who needs Dads in this day and age anyway? All mine does is put up shelves and drink mild.

Quote: farmer_jack

I met Jimmy Carr the other week and we had a good chat and he's a very nice bloke indeed. Seems a good bit quieter than he is on stage; his shows are all an act it would appear.

Also Mark, a bill is in the post, many thanks.

A sh*t f*cking act, at that. Corporate w*nker.

Quote: Look_Dad_No_Tunes

Quote: farmer_jack

I met Jimmy Carr the other week and we had a good chat and he's a very nice bloke indeed. Seems a good bit quieter than he is on stage; his shows are all an act it would appear.

Also Mark, a bill is in the post, many thanks.

A sh*t f*cking act, at that. Corporate w*nker.

Haha yeah forgot you don't like him. I do

I'll tell you who I don't like, though:-
[list][*]Jim Davidson
[*]Jo Brand
[*]Noel Fielding
[/list]
I used to quite like Mark Lamarr, but now I think he's sh*t.

Opinions are one of the biggest problems in society at the moment, in my opinion.

I really cannot abide Jo Brand actually; it's more than just a dislike. You're right though, the state of stand up comedy is not good. There's a sprinkling of talent in what is otherwise a cesspit of toss.

I quite like Lee Mack at the moment. He's not utterly hilarious, but he's a likeable chap, and his stand-up DVD was worth the money.

Agreed on all counts there.

Frank Skinner is an excellent joke teller; he always gets a laugh out of me. David Baddiel... not so much. He just strikes me as being awkward. He's not offensive or shockingly bad... he just doesn't really do anything. There's no real personality about him, or at least not when I've watched him anyway.

I do like him; he's - dare I say it - hilarious, at times.

Also, Peter Kay, I no longer like or enjoy.

Ah Baddiel, he's a decent writer but he's always managed to get on the coatails of brilliant comedians (Rob Newman, Frank Skinner), which inevitably makes him look a bit redundant. The unplanned thing showed him up more than ever - particularly as Skinner is a natural funny man.

I think the problem with standup comedy is that it grew beyond it's means, too many people made a career whilst not retaining that notion of actually being a funny f*cker. I loathe Peter Kay and what he's become, but the man had a talent to make people laugh, without material. Same can't be said for a lot of career comedians.

Jesus, this is all a bit stuffily serious.

Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?
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Because there isn't a sufficient customer base to support the infrastructure required to sell pharmaceuticals.

You're not wrong; it's tiresome, and on the very rare occasions she isn't mentioning being fat, she still isn't funny. I'm all for giving people a chance, but she ran out of them in the 90's.

Michael Mcintyre is on Dave at the mo' with Jo Brand. I wish I didn't find him so annoying. If his jokes were being told by someone else, they'd be funnier. Well, some of them.

In fairness, she was a reaction to a lot of sexist attitudes prevalent in the time of the late 80's/early 90's, particularly in standup circles. A lot of women supported her, out of some misguided sense of "sista" loyalty.

She was never EVER funny, though. How she's hung around for so long is anyone's guess.

one other thing, MY A*SE IS F*CKING SORE >____<