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As we enter yellow, stop thinking, and let your body dance you

Always scribble, scribble, scribble...

Posted In: Poetry + Prose. Reading This Thread:

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

12^th Dec 2006 at 5:00 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

I'd be interested in anything, really.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

12^th Dec 2006 at 6:46 pm

Quote: Mancomb_Seepgood

ooh, this is all coming to fruition now. My exams end tomorrow so I can give it more attention then. When would we be looking to start up? I'd certainly be interested in doing the music/film bit of entertainment, though not sure I could do it all on my own. Can there be two to share that responsibilty? We can have alternate 'b*tch' days.

And for the benefit of Denesha, my name is Thomas 'Fun Cheeks' Meek. Or at least that's what it says on my birth certificate.

Masthead. Ha.

Oh,thats a cool name.I'm going to call you Spanky though.I was calling you that in my head before you told me so ha, its stuck.

Yeah, I was hoping to do entertainment, although more of the celebrity side because I just know waaay too much about that stuff. I've already written a celebrity piece that made my mum laugh and she's a pretty good barometer (although it'll stop being topical soon, so I'll have to chuck it.)

I think Spanky is really good at the music stuff so he could do that on its own or with film.Its up to everyone else.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

12^th Dec 2006 at 6:59 pm

Ok, so its :
Me-Celebrity
Thomas- Music/Film
Claire- UK news.

I know how you feel Claire, theres so much going on right now that is interesting to write about!

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

13^th Dec 2006 at 4:24 pm

Grog me.

I've done a little end of year music round up thing and top ten album/single of the year lists which can be found here hopefully. Is that the sort of thing that you'd be looking for? I try and keep things personal and humourous. But I can adapt if that is necessary.

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

13^th Dec 2006 at 5:20 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

I take it I'll be doing Politics. Which is fair enough. I'll probably have to talk to you, Phil, to make sure we're not going over the same stuff.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

13^th Dec 2006 at 6:09 pm

I feel really superficial and barbie like for picking celebrity.I'm supposed to be doing a degree in international relations and I'm more interested in celebrity. :-[
Pah, who cares?I'd get far too bored if I was to constantly talk about that stuff at school.
Any suggestions for names now I guess so that Phil can set up the wordpress stuff?

Dissimulation

| 5,671 posts

13^th Dec 2006 at 7:55 pm

That's not a bad shout actually.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

13^th Dec 2006 at 9:00 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

Quote: White_Ranger

Call it "Culture" Denesha, that's respectable.

Or "Associated Bitcheries", if you want to go all out.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

14^th Dec 2006 at 6:45 pm

Any other suggestions?

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

14^th Dec 2006 at 9:24 pm

Anna Wintour is a legend* and shall never be taken on by the likes of me. Or you for that matter. An inflated sense of self worth and a pretty magazine has made her into a super fashionable goddess with a magazine with gorgeous pictures in. Also,like it or not, her fashion sense has a huge impact on what people wear as seen through the jeans into boots trend, Zac Posen and the revival of Marc Jacob's career. And I know that statement has just made me appear even more superficial. Lets just move on.

Please think of a name! I want to get started.

*Although I abhor fur and she is gross for wearing it.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

16^th Dec 2006 at 7:43 pm

Anything will do.Just suggest something even if it is "i don't know, lets just go with ASSS."

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

17^th Dec 2006 at 3:00 pm

Quote: White_Ranger

I had a thought today, it's not very good but:

We could call it The Patch. There's a nod back to VR (as in Vegetable Patch -harhar!) and it reflects the variety of our topics (like in patch work!). Plus out witty, intelligent brand of writing will be a patch on today's diseased society

Like I said, not awfully good, but if we're desperate...

I quite like it.

Mark Brogan

| 7,648 posts

17^th Dec 2006 at 4:22 pm

I'm so excited about reading this when you lot finally get this together, it'll be great!

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

17^th Dec 2006 at 8:10 pm

Phil, when I register do I check the 'gimme a blog' box or the 'just a username please'?

Also, can my day be Thursday or Sunday?Its just really convienent for me.

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

18^th Dec 2006 at 4:59 pm

Grog me.

I'd probably be happy with any day. I think waiting until after New Year would be best. I'm going to be quite busy until then but should be free as the proverbial bird afterwards. The Patch is nice little name, and I'd certainly be happy with it if nobody else comes up with one. And I would like to be known as Spanky in the Masthead.

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

24^th Dec 2006 at 10:18 am

Quote: White_Ranger

If you're alright with Sundays, Denesha, I'd quite like Thursdays, they're my easiest day. Is that okay?

Yeah, thats fine.

Rox, the fashion thing sounds good. I'd most definitely be interested (although i get it in the ear from my sister ALL the time). It'd be nice to have a different perspective on it. You could make it bitchy like www.gofugyourself.com but actually informative and interesting.

Mark Brogan

| 7,648 posts

24^th Dec 2006 at 11:55 am

Although, can it not be a 'you must be wearing this' and 'you have to get this' kind of column, because I read those, and I get very annoyed.

Gary

| 3,774 posts

24^th Dec 2006 at 2:16 pm

I is not evil.

Quote: Canary_Thatch

nooo like a "I know you're not going to buy a metallic dress just because they're in this year, so here's how to accessorize your 5 year old little black dress" (this year I'd say with a wide black patent leather (in my case fake plasticy stuff) belt, with a big gold buckle, a gold handbag, and lovely long chandelier-esque earrings, whether you wear a necklace or not and what kind depends on the neckline of the dress).

You say this now! I threw out my five year old little black dress last week because I've not worn in in ages

[http://imagegen.last.fm/Apnet/recenttracks/3/se_osiris.gif]

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, only an "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
- Mitch Hedberg

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

25^th Dec 2006 at 11:01 pm

Hey, when we start this should we all write a short introductory piece on ourselves?And those little pieces could be pasted together as our first ever post on 1st January? Like a real newspaper/magazine thing that has its first issue for £1.99 in January and comes with a free first piece but the rest after are all £3/5 because you're piecing together an AK 47. Hopefully we'd last longer than those newspapers.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

25^th Dec 2006 at 11:13 pm

Quote: Canary_Thatch

nooo like a "I know you're not going to buy a metallic dress just because they're in this year, so here's how to accessorize your 5 year old little black dress" (this year I'd say with a wide black patent leather (in my case fake plasticy stuff) belt, with a big gold buckle, a gold handbag, and lovely long chandelier-esque earrings, whether you wear a necklace or not and what kind depends on the neckline of the dress).

And I DID buy a metallic dress.Its gorgeous and monochrome AND vintage.Just like the one Mary Kate Olsen is wearing in Teen Vogue but £5 in a charity shop in Richmond.I gave it to my sister for christmas along with a £10 H&M voucher.
The point is, while the article probably wont have any bearing on what I buy as Vogue and Teen Vogue remain my favourite magazines and influence me more than I'd like to admit, I do think its an interesting foray and I look forward to seeing how it'll play out. Good luck Rox.

(And less bad mouthing of haute couture.Its an art form and I adore it.)

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

26^th Dec 2006 at 12:24 am

Grog me.

Quote: Citizen_Twiggy

Hey, when we start this should we all write a short introductory piece on ourselves?And those little pieces could be pasted together as our first ever post on 1st January? Like a real newspaper/magazine thing that has its first issue for £1.99 in January and comes with a free first piece but the rest after are all £3/5 because you're piecing together an AK 47. Hopefully we'd last longer than those newspapers.

Ooh, that sounds like a good idea. I shall start on that tomorrow.

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

26^th Dec 2006 at 4:28 pm

Up to you but I think under than 500 words would be best to avoid verbose rambling worthy of a pretentious emo kid's 'About me' section on MySpace.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

26^th Dec 2006 at 4:44 pm

Quote: Citizen_Twiggy

Up to you but I think under than 500 words would be best to avoid verbose rambling worthy of a pretentious emo kid's 'About me' section on MySpace.

Actually scrap that. I'm not sure there should be a word limit. I think we should just write as we wish but if its longer than a page on Microsoft word then its up to the writer's discretion to make it more succinct.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

26^th Dec 2006 at 11:18 pm

Quote: Snoop_Clairey_Claire

Mine's 233, and sh*t, I'd appreciate seeing some other people's so I know if I'm going down the right lines.

I have no idea what exactly to write but I wrote this in about 10 minutes. Its sh*t, unfinished and I'm going to scrap it but you can read it if you'd like. It is horrendous though.

"My name is Denesha. I live in a 3 bed roomed house in Hounslow, West London with my parents, two siblings, 4 gold fish and a sucker fish named Frank.
I decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to be a political journalist like Danny Concanon in ‘The West Wing’. However, I lack any real experience in either politics or journalism and should probably have refrained from picking my chosen career from a TV series. For a couple of months, I attempted to cold call various local newspapers, entered a small writing competition with Sky and eventually gave up. That is when I realised just how hard it is to get a foot in the door of this industry and how many of my incredibly talented friends were also aiming for a career in journalism and facing the same obstacles as I was. ‘The Patch’ was what arose out of my ponderings. On our little patch of the internet, we will be showcasing the talents of our permanent and guest writers to bring you the very best of amateur journalism.
I have deviated somewhat from the plan to be Danny from the West Wing as he is bald and hairy, a paradox that I am aware of and hope I am neither. Instead, I shall be writing the celebrity aspect of the entertainment column. I will be bringing you a fresh and hopefully witty approach on the topic, far from the vulture like celebrity blogs and the glossy idiotic pages of Heat."

Edited by Turtle Mar 2007

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

29^th Dec 2006 at 1:24 am

Grog me.

This is my attempt. Is it suitable?

"Husband of a murdered wife; father of a murdered son; owner of a slightly molested cat – I have finally got over all that and now dedicate my life to writing about the magical world that is music and that. 'That' being film and television, you know, those funny moving pictures where people you recognise (and occasionally don't know where from and you get really annoyed that you can't remember how you know their face or lips so bestow upon them the name 'whatshisface') speak and shout and occasionally bump and/or grind.

What can you expect from such writings? Well, opinion springs to mind. And a lot of it. Many a great artist has suffered under the barb of this tongue, or word processor to be more precise. I shall take apart all the albums/singles/live gigs/programmes/films thrown at me and carve their content up into bile and effluence with the great gleaming knife of evaluation. This sodding mess shall then be translated into word form so everyone can delight upon what I think of what they're watching or listening to so they don't have to think about it. Yes, I am that lonely freedom fighter, fighting the great fight against freewill and thought. For I shall take over that thought.

I shall also do my very utmost to keep loyal readers up to date on such events we in the business like to call 'news' relating to the great worlds of music, film and television. If Pete Doherty is on Blue Peter using some sticky back plastic for a roll up – I'll be there. If Noel Edmonds is opening a box – I'll be there. If Daphne and Celeste are crying for their wasted youth – I'll be there. If Martin Scorsese is dying – I'll be there, so engrossed in writing about it I wouldn't even care of calling an ambulance. Yes, dedication. That is me.

Enjoy!"

I would like it to be accompanied by this picture of me:

[http://photos.pe.facebook.com/v41/204/61/309500030/n309500030_455_9294.jpg]

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

29^th Dec 2006 at 6:00 pm

Hehehe, I really like it.And the picture is ace.Go for it.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

30^th Dec 2006 at 9:29 pm

Erm here is my little piece. I don't have a particular picture preference.

“A scatty mess who giggles far too much.”

I asked my best friends- the people who know me best and should love me the most, how they would describe me. The above quote is the unfortunately accurate description of the type of girl I am. It is highly regrettable but the quote can also be used to describe my scatty, immature and somewhat giggly writing style.
My favourite things include The West Wing, dancing to High School Musical in my room on Friday nights and Geography. The geography part is a lie. It’s just too hard for my brain.
Like many a 90’s latch key kid, I learnt my life lessons while watching Boy Meets World and Saved by the Bell on repeat and eating copious amounts of Coco Pops. It was my TV addiction that formed the basis of many of my morals. For example, I will never steal Cory’s girlfriend Topanga or have a fashion show involving Screech. I also have a sponge like brain which can inform you that Screech’s sex tape involves something called a ‘Dirty Sanchez’.
The combination of my brain sponge, love of all things superficial and talent for obtaining useless knowledge make me the best celebrity entertainment writer in the world… or at least in The Patch.

Turtle

| 3,404 posts

30^th Dec 2006 at 10:57 pm

I'm sorry to double post again (i must stop doing that), it just hit me that we were aiming to start this on the 1st January right?Unless, I was wrong and its no big deal,we'll start later on in January.I may have got confused.
Anyway, we should probably start by allocating days and confirming writers.
This was the list that I compiled a while back on this thread of people who said they wanted to be regular writers but now with added days AND confirmations of taking part.I've not had any protestations about the original list but a couple of people on there haven't got back to me or said what day they'd like to take or subject.

Me-Sunday, confirmed, celebrity.
Alan- Wednesday, confirmed, politics
Claire- Tuesday or Friday, confirmed, UK news
Alice- No day specified, confirmed, Misc/column.
Spanky Thomas- No day specified, confirmed, Music-Film-Tv
Phil- Thursday, confirmed, UK news
Amy(moose)-No day specified, not confirmed, no genre yet.

I'm not sure if Amy was still involved or we were going to use that 7th day for a guest spot?I thought she was still a regular writer but what genre?

Edited by Turtle Dec 2006

Elusive Moose

| 8,546 posts

31^st Dec 2006 at 12:41 am

Get your Antlers on

I'm here... I've proven how bad I could potentially be at this without being reminded by copious e-mails as I always fail to check boards... If you'd rather use the spot for a guest writer then I can understand why, especially as I have no idea what I'd write about seeing as the only things I can write about are theatre/books etc, unless someone can think of anything else?? Or maybe travel- based on other people's experiences, and my own? Like reviewing countries, places to go, etc, etc. Actually, I'd quite like to do the latter if I'm still allowed to write a column?? Unless you could combine it all under 'Lesiure ideas', but then there's not really a theme... I don't know... someone else tell me what to do :p

Edited by Elusive Moose Dec 2006

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