8^th September 2024, 3:17 am

Forum Gallery Archives Members

I call it 'my paste buffer'. I have a slot in Tate Modern.

Notebook Letters 13.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Apr 2024 at 5:50 pm

River Phoenix

Newbs out on page three

I started the giraffe diet. You lot are known for your lean, muscular frame. Problem is, I can only find brown crusty leaves this time of year. Can you tell me where the green ones are hidden?
Windy Miller

I've one word for you: romaine. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Get my drift?

Zine; 5th of December, 2007; 3/5.

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

14^th Apr 2024 at 5:53 pm

River Phoenix

Poetry corner

How I wish I would win the hand of a dandy gent like Russell Brand, but I will admit, cos deny it I can't,
I'm destined to end up with Russell Grant.
Stouffer

Is it in the stars?

Zine; 5th of December, 2007; 4/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 9:23 am

River Phoenix

Susie

I don't remember Susie Dent being a pedantic, hectoring bore, myself. Maybe that was Countdown: After Dark, though, where Carol Vorderman gangster rapped and Richard Whiteley break danced on flaming coals.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic

What was I saying about goodwill?

Zine; 5th of December, 2007; 5/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 9:25 am

River Phoenix

daddypoos Can I respectfully ask you to stop procrastinating... You could go blind. Well. At least that's what I'm told.

I can't see your point, daddypoos.

Zine; 6th of December, 2007; 1/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 1:04 pm

River Phoenix

Amazing

It was one of those special Christmas moments which one can never forget. My father turned to me and said: "This tastes a bit different... did you put Pilchards in the Christmas cake?". My family's powers of observation never cease to amaze me.

The Psychedelic Gloom

If only he had said "There's something fishy about the Christmas cake".

Zine; 6th of December, 2007; 2/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 1:50 pm

River Phoenix

Newbs Out On Page Three

You can buy coat-flavoured crisps, the best crisps you'll ever taste! Now available in waterproof flavour (is that how to do subliminal advertising?).

Mr Insane, Only £300, Available In Three Different Hair Colours

I think I'll stick to Wheat Crunchies.

Zine; 6th of December, 2007; 3/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 1:54 pm

River Phoenix

Starfruit

FSC: Pedantic, mea culpa (OCD. No, really), but hectoring implies bullying, to which I take offence. Mickey-taking occurs regularly on the Zine. I'm always amused to get it back. It's fun! So *ahem* WLW is a cheat and a liar.
Carambola is not a vegetable (aka starfruit: clue there) and giraffes can't eat romaine 'cos lettuce doesn't grow to your height (geddit?).

mondo ray

Ahem indeed. Next you'll be telling me tomatoes are a fruit too.

Zine; 6th of December, 2007; 4/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:23 pm

River Phoenix

Shuriken

So WLW's doing some name dropping. A shuriken reference? Trying to get in with the cool types that worship the tr-force that is Ladle, Shuriken and Blue hair? I'm the only member, but that just means I'm cooler than everyone. Okies, I don't have blue hair - it's purple. I got bored and dyed my fringe so now I'm uber cool and, like, well emo doode!
Now where's me homies to go cry and write poetry?

One Winged Angel

I can play you like a piano, OWA.

Zine; 6th of December, 2007; 5/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:25 pm

River Phoenix

Sprinkles the WonderCat

What's that, Sprinkles?
*meow*
Your Spidey-Sense is tingly?
*meow meow*
Oh my goodness. It is really exciting! To the Cat Cave!
*meow*
Oh. OK. I will wait here. Whenabouts will you be back?
*meow*
Oh, gosh. OK... good luck...
Little Blue Fox

Cats can be so cruel...

Zine; 7th of December, 2007; 1/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:49 pm

River Phoenix

Polari pup

If you think speaking Polari is unusual, you should meet my neighbour's dog. Scratch it in the right place and it says "cottage".
PS Tomatoes are a fruit as well.
mondo ray

Well, duh.

Zine; 7th of December, 2007; 2/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:51 pm

River Phoenix

Not twice, but thrice

If you sing In The Air Tonight backwards at midnight whilst looking in a mirror, Phil Collins will appear and recommend a good painter and decorator.

Stouffer

I heard you can summon him just by saying his name three times.

Zine; 7th of December, 2007; 3/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:54 pm

River Phoenix

December 25th

The 25th. Why does that seem important? A birthday, Hallowe'en. No. I don't know. It's just some date stuck in my head. (Santa Claus is coming to town.) What's the 25th? Exit my head or I'll shoot you down, you stupid date!
Mr Insane

While you're figuring that out, I'm off to sunnier climes. The Takeover begins on Monday. Merry Christmas to all!

Zine; 7th of December, 2007; 5/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

15^th Apr 2024 at 3:59 pm

River Phoenix

The Christmas Takeover

WLW has packed his disco trunks and set off on a jolly jaunt, so some familiar names will be guest-editing Zine.

A different Ziner will take the reins every day until the end of the year. Normal service will resume in January, so keep writing in for the new year.

Text your message to 07624 809881 at your normal SMS cost. Write to Zine at P O Box 32549, London, W4 5TS or e-mail mega-zine@teletext.co.uk.

Zine; 7th of December, 2007; 6/6.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 1:40 pm

River Phoenix

Today's Guest Editor

Ziners! I am proud to be today's editor and I will try to fill today's Zine with my fruity goodness. Although I've been writing to Zine since 1993, I never thought I'd have the honour of being a guest editor. I will try to be a good and fair editor, and to be lovely to all you lovely Ziners.

Squashed Strawberry, Hector's House

Zine; 10th of December, 2007; /5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 1:45 pm

River Phoenix

If Ziners Were Reindeer

- Rudolph - Topper
- Dasher - The DeLorean
- Dancer - S*x Jones
- Prancer - Haryuu No Hanekata
- Dancer - TheUnitedTruth
- Vixen - Satan's Little Helper
- Cupid - Smashed Strawberr, Hector's House
- Comet - Vigilange Maelstrom
- Blitzen - One Winged Angel

The Soul Cake Duck

Weeee! Nine flying Ziners! With presents for everyone! Which way to the North Pole? Who's driving? Are we there yet?

Zine; 10th of December, 2007; 2/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 1:48 pm

River Phoenix

A Short WLW Story

Strawberry, as the world's longest serving Ziner, you must know WLW better than most. Isn't there any light you can shed on our beloved-yet-unknown leader?
Some juicy gossip, or a dodgy old photo from the early '90s?
Spill it, Sister!

Mushroom

WLW's not really tall. In fact, he's the world's shortest giraffe. He wears platform shoes and he's got an afro.

Zine; 10th of December, 2007; 4/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 1:50 pm

River Phoenix

Deal? Or No Deal?

You've been here since the beginning of Zine. You deserve an award for that. How about this - I'll send you a cookie once a month for the next eleventy five years. However, there's a condition. You have to write your Zine letters whilst blindfolded, and I get to eat your cookie before I send it to you! I'm assuming you are so I'll sign the contract for you.

One Winged Angel

Mmm, delicious. *Takes off blindfold* Noooo! Sprouts!

Zine; 10th of December, 2007; 5/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 2:04 pm

River Phoenix

Today's guest editor

It is good to be the WLW. When asked to take part, I suggested bringing culture to you unwashed masses, make people think, laugh and love (maybe not love). Alas, this was not approved, so I instead proposed some sort of madcap, anarchic caper; like Tiswas, but funny. This was also unacceptable. Instead, I present an array of misery and loneliness, in a momentary discussion on the way to the grave. Merry Christmas!
Freshly Squeezed Cynic

Zine; 11th of December, 2007; 1/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 2:06 pm

River Phoenix

The tell-tale wing

I pulled a bird last night. Its wing came off.
Vigilante Maelstrom

Freshly Squeezed Cynic: That happens to me all the time. This is why the cellar is off limits.

Zine; 11th of December, 2007; 2/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 2:08 pm

River Phoenix

You've got green on you

Can you imagine if people were green? It would be weird, wouldn't it?

Also, you wouldn't be able to feel sick or be envious, so there would be benefits; unless you were sick with envy, of course.
Haryuu No Hanekata

Zombie detection will be harder, however. Kids, know your Romero.

Zine; 11th of December, 2007; 4/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

16^th Apr 2024 at 2:11 pm

River Phoenix

Sleep is for wimps

How many of you sleep? I don't. In fact, I haven't slept in five years. I think it's affecting my health, though, cause sometimes I black out and have no memory of the previous five or six hours. Strange.
The DeLorean That... You Know

Also, after a while, you keep hearing the murmur of '80s college rock bands.

Zine; 11th of December, 2007; 5/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

17^th Apr 2024 at 3:18 pm

River Phoenix

Today's guest editor

I support kindness to newbies (just remember, we were all new once!). I also support kindness to fruit that looks like another fruit but tastes different, like myself. I like Japanese stuff! This is me, a Banana Flavoured Lemon. Be nice and I chop your hand off and make brain smoothies!
Banana Flavoured Lemon

Zine; 12th of December, 2007; 1/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

17^th Apr 2024 at 3:20 pm

River Phoenix

Chirp-fest

If you put a budgie in a mincer, could you sell it as Shredded Toast? Answers on a postcard to RSPB.
Daddypoos, Wigan

Banana Flavoured Lemon: I suppose you could call it Shredded Tweet, but I'm not sure my parakeet would be happy.

Zine; 12th of December, 2007; 2/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

17^th Apr 2024 at 3:22 pm

River Phoenix

Banana skins

I tried a banana flavoured lemon once. It was also banana-shaped, and exactly like a banana in everything but name. In fact, I'm beginning to think it wasn't worth the £100.
Vigilante Maelstrom

Banana Flavoured Lemon: Never buy banana-flavoured lemons from dodgy looking men. They're usually not banana-flavoured lemons at all, just bananas.

Zine; 12th of December, 2007; 3/5.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

17^th Apr 2024 at 3:25 pm

River Phoenix

Tough choice

Hey, Banana Man (I assume you're a man), I was wondering if you had a banana in one hand and a lemon in the other, what would you ear first? I expect the average person would go for the banana but, if you wanted to be daring, you'd go for the lemon. What would it be: banana or lemon?
Dalek

Banana Flavoured Lemon: I am NOT a man. I've never been so insulted in my life. But, seeing as I' a wimp, I suppose it would be the banana.

Zine; 12th of December, 2007; 5/5.

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: What's the facebook group called? I couldn't find it...

Jimmy: VR VeteRans https://www.facebook.com/groups/174360109375424/?mibextid=K35XfP

Πανδώρα: MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Πανδώρα: Moist.

IGH: And so it ends

Captain Spiky: I've just been loving life, going through the photos in the Meets gallery. so many awesome people that I loved hanging out with

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