Notebook Letters 11

It's Zine orchestra!

Little Blue Woodblocks (but he'd also make a good DJ)
rose Timpani
Woodwind Angel
Trombo Beam
Yamaha Keyboards are out of stock?
Junior Thereminster
WLDoublebass
Vigilante Maelstrom

What about mondoboe? Or daddybassoon, Wigan?

Zine; 8th of August, 2008; 2/5.

Thursday's Zine

elden ray: Prottect me, WLW, I'm scared of this one.
Little Blue Fox: How sureal and surprising.
The newbs were what I would expect from newbs.
mondo's letter was amazzingly cultural, and I wasn't surprises that a Minister caught a disease.

Jumbo Beam me fa so la ti

All I can say to that is (sic).

Zine; 8th of August, 2008; 3/5.

i saw a tiger in a tree the other day. Oh gosh (as Little Blue Fox would say), i was scared. But i didn't let him see my fear, for i am a brave Iceni warrior. So i started talking to him about William Blake. The tiger replied: Grawooarghenheyxrt, which sounded very lovely and friendly. i don't know what it maent, though. i don't speak tiger.

Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House

He was just criticising the Industrial Revolution. Nothing important.

Zine; 8th of August, 2008; 4/5.

As Jim Morrison once sang, "This is the end, the end, my friend". The weird weather is getting to me and the joie de vivre that is Zine has left me. I can't even remember what name I started with or the one I used last! Adieu, WLW, mondo, et al.

Dennis Firetruck

Who?

Zine; 8th of August, 2008; 5/5.

gothic fairy The Stig comes from my neck of the woods. Can I try the Torque room? I like Nickelback- they send me to sleep.

And this is the kind of sense you make when you drink too many pints of cola.

Vigilante Maelstrom Last Tuesday, I reached adulthood. This Thursday, I'm going to a Pokemon event.

Really? Vigilante-Zine could have worked so well.

Zine; 11th of August, 2008; 1/5.

It was brilliant to see jonathan ross on Friday. Despite Earls's review, I think That's How People Grow Up is Moz at his best. Gigantapants

The opening noise on A Hard Day's Night isn't a chord as such. It's the sound of someone thumping their hand on a guitar. My unmusical brother used to knock my guitar out of tune by demonstrating it. I don't recommend it. Melk

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 1/8.

I see that Voiders are recalling namesakes they've encountered. My cousin was married by a vicar called Michael Jackson, whose wife's name was Janet. Miss Ribbons

For the best Fall album, many consider Hex Enduction Hour to be their most accessible work, but they've released about 30 official and unofficial compilations, too. Of those, I'd recommend the singles set 50, 000 Fall Fans can't be wrong. Fi rose

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 2/8.

How good was Cat Power on Later? She's as mad as a bucket of wet ferrets, but magical. I think I'm in love. Dante Banks

What a tedious programme Later is. Radiohead were outstanding, but the rest were dull as dishwater. A bunch of musos nodding appreciation at each other is nauseating. I turned over to watch Hard-Fi on C4. The Tube was better: that was innovative TV. Pete Palloon

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 3/8.

Namesakes? I went to school with Michael Jackson and was taught guitar by Noel Gallagher. Gav

My dad's name is Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet fame. Sadly, the name is doubly ironic. Firstly, he was asked not to return to the church coir as a boy, as he was "putting the others off". Then, coincidentally, he married a ballet teacher. Matthew Hadley

Void: He put the others off? Are you sure he's not the same Hadley?

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 4/8.

Discovering it for a reasonable price in HMV at last of £9.95 (reduced from £14.95), I've bought Panda Bear from Animal Collective's solo album Person Pitch. I'm surprised it failed to make any impact in the Best Album of 2007 lists. For anyone who likes psychedelic pop, it's worth a listen. Eddie Clarke

I want everyone to know how cack Dropkick Murphys were on Friday. They were a nightmare. elvis Strikes Back

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 5/8.

After seeing Radiohead on Later, Thom Yorke and David Gray should star a band called The Shaking Heads. On the second song, Thom looked as if he was plugged into the mains and I couldn't make out one word of what he was screaming about. What was the point? Andy McGarvey

Best intro? Is there a more cynical, passionate teen-kicks rush on earth than the start of The Jesus & Mary Chain's Sugar Ray? Alan Ross

The Void; Teletext page 827; 5th of February, 2008; 6/8.

* Urban blackbirds grow up faster than their country cousins.

* Fidgeting is good for men's concentration but bad for women's concentration.

* For every person in the US bitten by a shark, 25 get bitten by New Yorkers.

* Urban fox numbers haven't risen in 30 years.

* Dame Maggie Smith has never watched an episode of Downton Abbey.

* A Finnish radio station broadcasts news in Latoin.

* members of congress start taking the best seats 12 hours before the president gives his state of the union speech.

* Workers at Amazon's warehouse walk past a life-sized cardboard image of a blonde woman who says: "This is the best job I have ever had!"

* victorian students put crocodile skins on their walls.

* Sea slugs have "disposable penises".

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 15th of February, 2013.

* William is the last name that has decreased the most since 1901.

* Penis size matters to female golden moles.

* 1980s pop star Glenn Medeiros is the vice-principal of a high school in Hawaii.

* Chimps have the mental recall of people with savant syndrome.

* Car stickers of "Greater Hungary", incorporating parts of Romania, Solovokia, Serbia, Ukraine and Croatia, are a common sight in Budapest.

* The Swedes put their children out in the snow to nap.

* Women's brains have more language protein than men's.

* France has more citizens being held hostage than any other country.

* Some Norwegians feel strongly about whether firewood is stacked bark up or bark down.

* The average p*rn "star" is a California-born brunette named Nikki with a 34B cup size.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 22nd of February, 2013.

* In Brazil, barbecuing is a form of public protest.

* Sarah Greene used to bite Peter Duncan's ankles to distract him during Blue Peter cookery demos.

* Haribos are so-named because of founder Hans Riegel and his hometown Bonn.

* Dido's refrain "No freedom without love" has been adopted by rebel groups in Syria.

* In North Korea, women are "encouraged" to choose from 18 officially sanctioned hairstyles.

* Men have 10 options.

* It takes a Parisian bistro about three weeks to get through a horse carcass.

* cristiano ronaldo has a naked picture of himself on the walls of his Madrid house.

* Drone operators experience post-traumatic stress at the same rate as combat pilots.

* Rats can communicate with each other via cables.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 1st of March, 2013.

Lostprophets and The Offspring for Download? It looks like I may as well start collecting the bottles to lob at them. Rated R Superstar

Lostprophets are headlining Download with their brand of heavy pop music, are they? And there's me thinking it was meant to be a heavy metal festival. Who will they have on next year, coldplay? I'll be giving it a miss this year. What a disappointment. Miffy

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 1/8.

Namesakes? My consultant during a recent hospital visit was James Taylor. Nice man, very clever. Luna Sea

Two of my mates have musical namesakes. There's Kelly Jones, and I also know an adele. Gigantapants

In the namesakes vein, my brother's Ali Campbell, but not the UB40 one. My brother's not trying to sue me. Gavin Campbell

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 2/8.

All of the four officially-released versions of Across The Universe were indeed recorded on February 4, 1968. What you see in Let It Be is a shoddy rehearsal filmed on January 7, 1968, with Lennon profanities edited out of the film. At the time, the song hadn't been released. It was resurrected for Let It Be due to a paucity of new songs. Since it was never properly recorded then, the '68 one was released. Matt Davola

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 3/8.

Surely the producers of Later could have risen to the occasion for the 200th episode? The quality of the performances were as high as ever, but why only six guests? Dionne Jones

I agree that The S*x Pistols made the best album ever. However, Glen Matlock was the real bass talent, not Sid Vicious. Sid and his awful covers band tarnished the Pistols' credibility. Glen wrote NMTB before he left, and his three solo albums are well worth it. Marc Stevens

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 4/8.

cliff richard criticising The Beatles is a bit like vinne jones criticising Robert De Niro's acting. Disco Stu

I agree with Goranoia that the inclusion of downloads have prevented excellent songs from charting. A case in point for me was today the sun's on by sophie ellis- bextor. It was one of the most obvious, best single choices from trip the light fantastic. Where did it end up? No 64. No justice at all, I tell you. New Rave Snail

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 5/8.

I don't know if this has been done before, but what are Voiders' most cringe-inducing lyrics? Mine are "I am an arms dealer/ Fitting you with weapons in the form of words" from This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race by Fall Out Boy. Not with those words you ain't, sunshine. Tom Nutt

Best intro? Wings' Band On The Run gets my vote. Mind you, welcome to the jungle also takes some beating. Cookie Monsta

The Void; Teletext page 827; 6th of February, 2008; 6/8.

* Monkeys avoid selfish people.

* Lily pollen is poisonous to cats.

* nigel farage writes a column for total fishing magazine.

* Concrete can heal itself.

* There are more deer in the UK now than at any time since the last Ice Age.

* archbishop justin welby used to smuggle Bibles between the Iron Curtain.

* The renewable energy agency for the South West of England has a poet in residence.

* Freezing an Android phone renders a user's confidential data accessible.

* "White" magic remains legal under Indonesia's revised criminal code.

* People drum better in virtual reality when their avatar looks laid back.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 8th of March, 2013.

Your favourite Western

The Searchers, with John Wayne. It has action, revenge, hate and compassion at the end. S Warwick, Manchester

My favourite Western is The Searchers. It is an action-packed film starring John Wayne, here playing a troubled racist searching for Natalie Wood. Margaret Akel, Chilton

My fave Western is Silverado. Kevin Costner, Scott Glen and Jeff Goldblum are just three of my reasons. Anon

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 6th of February, 2008; 2/4.

Your favourite Western

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly. An epic spaghetti Western with an iconic film score composed by Ennio Morricone. Solange Thomas, Hammersmith

Rio Bravo starring John Wayne and dean martin. I like this film because it has everything in it. Comedy, action, a good story and wonderful performance and a few songs thrown in. I'm not a fan of Westerns but I could watch this film again and again.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 6th of February, 2008; 3/4.

Your favourite Western

For A Few Dollars More features eastwood as the man with no name. It's longer and more expansine than A Fistfull of Dollars, and Leone heightens the sense of danger by making both the sense of danger by making both the Colonel and Indio as crafty and cunning as Monaco; since there's no clear winner, every scene crackles with energy. As always, Enrio Morricone's score provides response and mood. Klaus Kinski stars as one of India's goons. Belinda Logan, Beckenham, Kent

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 6th of February, 2008; 4/4.

* Plants lose their nectar with caffeine to keep pollinators loyal.

* hemingway never used a Moleskine notebook.

* You can attract beluga whales by singing underwater.

* Shops get staff to strategically mess things up.

* The phallus-shaped Spartobranchus tenuis was an ancient relative of acorn worms.

* One of the Crossrail tunnelling machines is called 'Phyllis' after Phyllis Pearsall who produced the first A- Z.

* On the net's most crime-ridden network-Spectranet in Nigeria- 62% of addresses controlled by the ISP send out spam.

* "Aunt" is the most popular pornographic search term in Syria.

* Dominic West is a disciple of guru babaji.

* Big eyes contributed to the Neanderthals' demise.

10 things we didn't know last week; Ceefax page 129; 15th of March, 2013.