Notebook Letters 11

* Bond star Daniel Craig does not like his knees.

* In China, crowded public swimming pools are called boiling dumplings.

* People eat Christmas trees.

* Goats have accents.

* Authors who finish other writers' works are known as "continuators".

* A horse fly is named after Beyoncé.

* State workers in South Carolina answer the phone with, "It's a great day in South Carolina."

* There are 364 different ways to mis-spell the name of the Welsh village Betws-y-Coed.

* Moths have a taste for Chardonnay.

* More babies were born in the UK during 1920 than in any other year.

* The world's hottest chilli pepper can burn its way through gloves.

* The average US share holding lasts 22 seconds.

* The early horse shrank to the size of a cat.

* king's Lynn is the caravan capital of England and Wales.

* Fans of snowdrops are known as galanthophiles.

* hitler was embarrasssed about a photograph showing him wearing lederhosen.

* Lizards can survive aspin in the washing machine.

* Female fish fancy males who flirt with other males.

* lord byron was one of the first diet icons.

* Spiders appear bigger when you're afraid of them.

* The longest word ever used in the House of Commons is floccinaucinihilipilification.

* Horses can be borrowed from the metropolitan police.

* Wearing a white lab coat helps you perform better in tests.

* richard dawkins invokes God when flustered.

* Birds take "girls only" holidays.

* Bees have different personalities and some are thrill-seekers.

* S*x-starved fruit flies turn to drink.

* barack obama knows sign language.

* The first silicone breast implant was carried out on a dog called Esmerelda.

* ernest hemingway cried after he was forced to shoot his injured cat.

* A tweet by Jamie Oliver is worth $3, 250 (£2, 044).

* Ants inoculate themselves by licking each other.

* Holding a gun makes you look taller.

* A dog can be best man at a wedding.

* The polar bear is 450, 000 years older than previously thought.

* bob marley banned smoking at home.

* Robert Redford didn't want to include Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head in the 1969 film butch cassidy and the sundance kid.

* Occultist aleister crowley had his own chess colum in the Eastbourne Gazette.

* Listening to opera helps mice recover from heart surgery.

* Timbuktu is twinned with Hay-on-Wye in Wales.

* Bees don't like banysitting their nieces and nephews.

* david cameron thought LOL was shorthand for "lots of love".

* A woman's "gaydar" improves when she is ovulating.

* Beetles like living near street lights.

* On a French keyboard, you have to press the shift key to get a full stop.

* Beijing has a "two flies" rule in its public toilets.

* Roy Hodgson is in the acknowledgments of Sebastian Faulks's novel A Week in December.

* The tastiest tomatoes are not uniformly red.

* Rihanna has sold more singles than the rolling stones.

* Only two countries retain the definite article in English- The Bahamas and The Gambia.

* enoch powell used to do impressions of Antiques Roadshow.

* The US government are sceptical about the existence of mermaids.

* One in three South Koreans follow Manchester United.

* It takes more energy to sit through a 15-minute meeting than it takes Usain Bolt to run three Olympic 100m races.

* Female crickets eat male v*rgins.

* Jumping off a tall building wearing Batman's cape would result in a crash landing at 50mph.

* The nazis plotted to kill sir winston churchill with an exploding bar of chocolate.

* Mexicans drink more bottled water per capita than any other country.

* anc guerrillas contacted London to get the exact wording of a speech from Shakespeare's julius caesar.

* A patas monkey would beat Usain Bolt's 100m world record by three seconds.

* Men's brains are designed to shut down after s*x.

* The US airforce train more drone pilots than actual pilots.

* The earliest known use of "OMG" was in a 1917 letter to winston churchill.

* Olympic swimmers pee in the pool.

* When a player signs for Man City, the club already know his girlfriend's taste in restaurants.

* In Italian, there is a word for a summer hit song that is played everywhere you go- tormentone.

* The favourite number of count von count from the Muppets is 34, 969.

* Chimpanzees have a secret handshake.

* A hurricane can make the Mississippi River run backwards for 24 hours.

* There has only ever been one secretary of state for Wales named Jones.

* Spoof disaster film Airplane! elicits three belly laughs per minute from viewers- more than the Life of Brian's 1.2.

* Only two flavours- chocolate and lavender- are interpreted the same way whether eaten or smelt.

* The average Mexican eats 430 eggs each year, the highest per capita amount of any nation.

* The oldest dental filling has been found in a Stone Age tooth.

* Ed Sheeran is the most pirated artist in the UK.

* One in every 10 people uses the same Pin- 1234.

* Bexhill, Suss*x, has more centerians per head of population than anywhere in the UK.

* Honey can turn blue and green.

* Shadow business secretary chuka umunna was part of the choir that sang the theme tune to Mr Bean.

* the duchess of cambridge grows her own potatoes.

* People prone to feeling guilty make for the best friends.

* Women get more stressed than men when they read bad news stories.

* Men named Brian and women called Helen have the best credit profiles in the UK on average.

* Michael Fish has about a hundred fish-themed ties.

* Flying ant day is a myth.

* Some 10% of UK lottery millionaires buy a caravan.

* It takes six hours to reset Big Ben from BST to GMT.

* Watching a horror film burns more calories than films of other genres.

* Ikea have sold more than 11 billion meatballs in the UK.

* Mars has soil similar to Hwawaii's.

* New Scotland Yard is actually New New Scotland Yard.

* abraham lincoln is the US president who has been portrayed most on film.

* The staff carried by the next archbishop of Canterbury, justin welby, has a rock badger carved on it because he once burst out laughing while reading aloud in church a biblical passage about the animal.

* There used to be first-class carriages on London's Tube and the Paris Metro.

* V*rgin birth is possible for wild snakes.

* People are more likely to spend banknotes when they are grubby.

* Men with a partner increase the space between themselves and an attractive woman if exposed to the bonding hormone oxytocin.

* Nude dancing in strip clubs is a form of free speech in the US.

* The perfect number of baubles on a Christmas tree is 0.206 multiplied by the height of the tree in centimetres.

* Great apes have mid-life crises.

100 things we didn't know last year; 28th of December, 2012.

Speaking of good music, Natasha Desborough's last show on 6 Muisc was wesome. I can only hope she's been replaced by someone with as much joy for radio, and not another comedian with time on their hands. The Exploding boy

I agree with Malcolm that it's getting harder to buy gig tickets if you don't have a computer. It's even harder if you don't have a credit card. I always used to pay cash to see my favourite artists. rose Goodwin

The Void; Teletext page 827; 30th of September, 2008; 5/7.

A supermarket top 10

1) Tesco 2000 Pulp
2) kinky Booth's Honor Blackman
3) Say A Lidl Prayer Aretha Franklin
4) The Costcutter Echo & The Bunnymen
5) Brimful of Asda Cornershop
6) Lucky Spar Madonna
7) When Do I Get To Sing Safeway Sparks
Eight) Don't Make Me Waitrose Bomb The Bass
9) Somerfield City Abba
10) Aldi lily allen

Sleepy Sealion

The Void; Teletext page 827; 30th of September, 2008; 6/7.

* The price of college textbooks in the UK has risen faster than healthcare, house prices and inflation.

* Four of the world's five oldest people live in Japan, according to a list of people whose birth date and survival have been confirmed.

* There are two firms in the world cloning polo ponies.

* It would have taken 2.5m seagulls to lift James's giant peach in the air, not the 501 that roald dahl suggested.

* Supertasters who test baby food have twice as many taste buds as most people.

* Last year missed being the wettest on record by 6.6mm.

* The average individual in the US uses more than 20, 000 sheets of toilet paper a year.

* The residents of Surrey account for one fifth of all library borroeing of EL James's Fifty Shades of Grey.

* Hot drinks taste differently according to the cup colour.

* A gorilla can tightrope walk.

10 things we didn't know last week; 4th of January, 2013.

The Walkmen/ You & Me

Reviews by John Earls

Album four from the New Yorkers sees them grow into brooding, contemplative rockers, with a sense of loss.

Rumbling machinations on death and a vanishing sense of self it may be but, ironically, it also has some of their most immediate and uplifting songs; Red Moon and In The New Year rival Elbow for shining humanity.

Mature without losing their edge, it's an album to lose yourself in. 8/10

1/6.

The Charlatans/ Best of The BBC Sessions 1999- 1006

While they aren't a bad live act, much of their gig appeal lies in their charisma, not the musicality.

Largely culled from gigs rather than sessions, these 32 songs aren't helped by being from the fringes of their canon. Only the final seven songs are the classic hits.

Very much for completists, then, though the Birmingham gig from 2001 sounds like it was a must to be at. 2/6.

Angela Desveaux/ The Mighty Ship

Second album from the Montreal country singer, made with Howe Gelb's producing, tours with Califone and Gelb.

A decent lyricist, Desveaux has a novelist's eye for detail. Much of it could be short stories, rather than the traditional Nashville heartbreak fare.

But the arrangements are too subtle. Vocals are restrained, the guitars too pretty for the passion at the music's core. 6/10

3/6.

Teletext page 824; 30th of September, 2008.

Monroe overrated?

Out of all the gorgeous women: blondes, brunettes,redheads of the 1950s, why is Marilyn Monroe so famous? Her looks aren't overpowering, she can't sing, act or dance. She's overrated. Nina, London

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 1/6.

paul newman tributes

I'm 35 and anyone who knows me well knows that I've always thought of paul newman as my favourite actor. Whether it be Cool Hand Luke or The Sting through to The Hustler and The Colour of Money to name just a few of his classics, he had a presence on screen that most modern-day actors can only dream about.

I was a budding pool player in my mid/ late teens and used to think "What would Fast Eddie do here?"

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 2/6.

paul newman tributes

It's a travesty that Tinseltown only gave him one Oscar. You will be missed, paul, and finally I shall say, "Shakin' over here, boss." David Whistler, West Mids

I have just heard about paul newman. I am gutted. He was my hero. My heart goes out to his family and friends. He will be missed. xxx Patricia Gouldbourn, Colwyn Bay

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 3/6.

paul newman tributes

In 1976, my brother and I went to see a film one afternoon, not expecting much. That film blew us away, and this was a time when one could sit through it again, which we did.

There were no home videos then so it was some years later that I saw it again. And I still found it a breath of fresh air, it has been endlessly copied but never bettered. The film was The Sting starring paul newman.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 4/6.

paul newman tributes

There has never been a screen partnership like that of Redford and newman. His passing brings to an end a golden age of cinema that we seldom see these days. There is only one other film of paul newman's that I like more than The Sting, and that is Cool Hand Luke. Stephen, Devon

Spielberg's "Worlds" remake IS an appalling film! I love his work usually but that film defies logic and is not scary. Paul, Hailsham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 5/6.

Don't pre-judge Craig

It's Bond bashing season again, and the film's not out until next month!Daniel Craig should be judged on Quantum of Solace and then you can say he's the right choice. connery, Moore, Dalton and Brosnan were chosen for the right time in the history of Bond and people forget it could have ended after Licence To Kill. Lloyd, Lancs

Vortex: More thoughts on newman welcome and we're surprised no one responded to film torture. Zombies: rest in peace.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 30th of September, 2008; 6/6.

Having now digested Death Magnetic, I think it's the album we've waited 13 years for. It's a fantastic meld of Lightning to Justice-era song structure with hooks they honed in the '90s. It shows that, like great strikers, form is temporary but class is permanent. Scary Guy

I've just bought The Maybes' album after Earls' reviews. I'm blown away. Great lyrics, true quality. I've got goosebumps. Untamed Shrew

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 1/7.

Someone should have told katy perry that Later is a music show for grown-ups. She can't sing for toffee, as Imelda May highlighted when she followed katy and made her sound liike a tortured cat. Dante Banks

What's the fuss with Leona Lewis? Her supposedly great voice is a Mariah-ish caterwauling foghorn, and she's only had one major single. Can anyone name one (apart from Bleeding Love (and that was bl**ding dull)? Rebecca Nahid

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 2/7.

Thanks for telling us that Kaiser Chiefs' new lyric about crisps was from a conversation about crisps. I'd been thinking it was a subtle existential metaphor for the futility of man's struggle against a bland, uncaring universe. But it was about crisps all along. dj gordy

I agree with Jonno that Elbow were phenomenal. It was a classic piece of music television from a band at their best. Walter Sobchak

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 3/7.

I enjoyed the david gilmour night on BBC4, made all the more poignant by the involvement of Rick Wright. Surely a tribute programme is in order for a musician of such huge but unheralded talent. Steve Oldhippy

Congratulations to Elbow on getting to play at Wembley Arena. The Mercury Prize has justified its existence for helping propel a great band who've paid their dues finally becoming big enough for the arenas. Kanye's Vest

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 4/7.

It was good to see The Jam's Sound Affects album get a mention. It's a good record. Pretty Green, Corner Shop and Scrape Away are some of Paul Weller's finest moments. Bradders

Oasis have always been hit and miss for me, but I'm stunned by the new album. It's their best since Gem and Andy joined. What's mot surprising is how alive they sound. Only lazy critics will give this one an average review. The Boogie pirate

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 5/7.

The new Oasis album is a lot better than Don't Believe The Truth, but they'd do well to drop cringeworthy Beatles references like "Love is a litany, a magical mystery" and "Sing a song for me/ One from Let It Be." They've always been llet down by their clunky lyrics.

If they spent more time on their own lyrics, and less mouthing off about other bands, they'd be all the better for it. Grant Halliday

The Void; Teletext page 827; 1st of October, 2008; 6/7.

Inferno newman's best

I've only seen a few of paul newman's films, one of my favourites is The Towering Inferno. It brings two big hitters together in steve mcqueen and paul newman. Modern actors like Tom Cruise aren't in the same league as Chaplin and Garland. Geoff, Hexham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 1/6.

Pegg is right, ricky

Sorry if this shocks Simon Pegg. ricky gervais is righta. Britain hasn't made a decent film for decades, including Pegg's rubbish. Ste. Middlesbrough

Regarding the criteria for being a zombie: if they are reanimated corpses, then surely orcs could be classed as zombies? They looked and marched like zombies in the recent Lord of The Rings films. They also seemed to have a liking for humanoid flesh as well. Rosie Gilbert, Hants

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 2/6.

Thoughts on the thing

John Carpenter's the thing isn't really a remake. Like David Cronenberg's the fly, it's more a reimagining of the original film and both Carpenter and Cronenberg's versions are more faithful to the source material than those black and white B-movies were loosely based on.

Both are classics that have stood the test of time, especially now it comes to make-up/ special effects. Who needs CGI? Damien, Birmingham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 3/6.

jaws made me phobic!

My fave film is jaws. Ever since I was a child, I've loved this film. I used to hide behind the sofa whenever the head popped out of the boat. That scene was terrifying. And the scene in the estuary when you see the leg floating down to the seabed was also scary.

The old Philips videotape was watched so much that it was on its legs. Would like to say thank you to Mr Spielberg for my fear of the sea.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 4/6.

jaws made me phobic!

Aa a child, I was kinda scared to take a bath in case jaws burst through near the taps. And even going to the toilet, I was cautious. For years, I've sought out info on a sequel. Do any Vortex viewers have any news?

Come on, Universal, where's a sequel? Or will I have to make jaws 5 in my bathtub with my son's plastic shark and my DVD camcorder? James "jaws" Scott

Vortex: A film made me phobic! Discuss.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 5/6.

My favourite weepies

Ada, Torbay: Here are some of my favourite weepies: The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939), Rebel Without A Cause, Carve Her Name With Pride, The Misfits, The Elephant Man, Blade Runner, Dead Ringers, Last Exit To Brooklyn and Edward Scissorhands.

I challenge anyone with a heartbeat to sit through these without welling up. t rivers, suss*x

Vortex: Love Story: ultimate weepie?

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 1st of October, 2008; 6/6.

Lamchop/ Oh (Ohio)

Reviews by John Earls

Tenth album from Kurt Wagner's crew, and little has changed.

Wagner's voice is so genial in its baritone smile, it's impossible to dislike. As ever, the inch-perfect minimal strings and spartan country arrangements are just so.

But everyone already knew that from past albums. Even new producer Roger Moutenot can't make them sound anything other than endearing but samey. 6/10

1/6.

Bruce Parry/ Amazon Tribe 7/10

Mystery Jets, KT Tunstall and Hot Chip offer new songs for an album compiled by BBC2 documentary maker Perry.

Most new songs are great:Johnny Borrell gives a soulful Carrickfergus, coldplay, Mew/ A-ha's sipergroup are beautiful on Ferreting and even WillIAM is robustly funky on One People.

The second batch of dance musicians with Amazon tribes is more hit and miss but The Go! Team's Home is joy.

2/6.

Peter Bjorn & John/ Seaside

A head-scratching online-only follow-up to Writer's Block, it's instrumental apart from three monologues in Swedish.

Mostly hook-free, it aims to sound childlike, but ends up sounding more gaudy than innocent. You wouldn't have to be a gifted child to creat a song as interest-free as Erik's Fishing Trip.

Only twice, on the shining School of Kraut and addictive At The Seaside, do they return to past form. 5/10

3/6.

Department of Eagles/ In Ear Park

With Daniel Rossen now a cult star in Grizzly Bear, it's taken five years for the duo to make a second album.

It's been worth the wait, though, with their old love of jaunty melodies and head-spinning lo-fi experimental happily still like nothing else around.

By comparison, it's more grandiose, like a budget Scott Walker. But, just because a double bass is involved, they remain mischievous and inventive. 6/10

4/6.

Teletext page 824; 1st of October, 2008.

Will everyone please lay off katy perry? She's got an amazing voice, and her album is girly pop-rock; with attitude flung in there. Everyone has their taste, and you don't need to bash her like this. Give a girl a break. Little Miss Obsessive

I didn't get Elbow and I saw them perform One Day Like This on Later. I admit I was wrong. They are wonderful. Anyone have this experience with a band? Suzanne Connor

The Void; Teletext page 827; 2nd of October, 2008; 1/7.