Notebook Letters 5.

Tuna Fish

Why do some people feel the need to call tuna tuna fish. Like can I have a tuna fish sandwich, please? Or a baked potato with tuna fish, please? It really really irritates me!

It's not like you can have tuna fish ice cream or tuna bread, is it? It's just a waste of bread which could be used to sing Bee Gees songs or something. Are you a Bee Gees fan, WLW?

The Animal of Farthing Wood

Zine; 19th of November, 2002; 8/8.

Bobby Woe-Anorak So Insane Jam Sow has a thing for Tim Vine? Makes my Natasha Kaplinsky fetish seem normal!

I'm not so sure that's normal either!

Gerty And Her Onions I really like the re-runs of Crystal Maze. The presenter with the bald head is THE best. First he's munching an apple then playing the mouth organ. What next?

Who knows?

farmer jack WLW and Ziners- I dropped three quid down the back of your sofa. Can you send it back, please?

Spent it.

Zine; 25th of November, 2002; 1/8.

All You Need To Know About Rubies, But Were Too Afraid To Ask Me:

The finest rubies come from Burma and Thailand. The chemical name for a ruby is corundum and the ruby is made red by a trace of ferric oxide and chromium.

Like Zine they are red, exotic and hard to figure out.

Ruby Slippers

Sadly, Zine is blue now. Anyone know much about sapphire then?

Zine; 25th of November, 2002; 2/8.

A Little Worried

If a list of Ziners is produced in alphabetical order (thank you, Insane Jam Sow), then I am to be found sandwiched between Galder Weatherwax's Hat and George, the Duck-Billed Fridge!

I ask the question- is this a safe place to be, or should I be holding on tight to my baseball hat?

Genius At Work

Keep that about your person at all times.

Zine; 25th of November, 2002; 3/8.

Top 10 American albums of the decade

1) Post To Wire Richmond Fontaine
2) Heartbreaker Ryan Adams
3) Is This It The Strokes
4) Stay Positive The Hold Steady
5) The Heat Jesse Malin
6) Sound of Siilver LCD Soundsystem
7) Come Feel Me Tremble Paul Westerberg
Eight) The Rising Bruce Springsteen
9) For Emma Forever Ago Bon Iver
10) Trouble Ray Lamontagne

C Ventrioso

The Void; Teletext page 825; 22nd of November, 2009; 1/7.

Top 10 albums of 2009

1) Ineffable Mysteries Shpongle
2) Veckatimest Grizzly Bear
3) Embryonic The Flaming Lips
4) Axe To Fall Converge
5) Two Suns Bat For Lashes
6) The Eternal Sonic Youth
7) Farm Dinosaur Jr
Eight) Wavering Radiant Isis
9) Amesoeurs Amesoeurs
10) Popular Songs Yo La Tengo

Patrick Lambert

The Void; Teletext page 825; 22nd of November, 2009; 2/7.

Top 10 albums of 2009

1) Light Matisyahu
2) Never Better POS
3) Depart From Me Cage
4) Spinnerette Spinnerette
5) US Brother Ali
6) Invasion Must Die The Prodigy
7) Let The Dominoes Fall Rancid
Eight) All i Ever Wanted Kelly Clarkson
9) Relapse Eminem
10) A Brand You Can Trust La Coka Nostra

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of November, 2009; 3/7.

Top 10 albums of the decade

1) Funeral Arcade Fire
2) Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots The Flaming Lips
3) Agaetis Byrjun Sigur Ros
4) In Rainbows Radiohead
5) Think Tank Blur
6) The Sophtware Slump Grandaddy
7) Is This It The Strokes
Eight) Daisies of The Galaxy Eels
9) White Blood Cells White Stripes
10) Illinoise Sufjan Stevens

Lem Fatale

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of November, 2009; 4/7.

Top 10 albums of the decade

1) Whatever People Say i Am That's What i'm Not Arctic Monkeys
2) Up The Bracket Libertines
3) Aha Shake Heartbreak Kings of Leon
4) Hats Off To The Buskers The View
5) Is This It The Strokes
6) Well Well Well Milburn
7) Silent Alarm Bloc Party
Eight) De Nova The Redwells
9) We'll Live And Die In These Towns The Enemy
10) St Jude The Courteeners

Craig Cowan

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of November, 2009; 5/7.

Top 10 metal albums for 2009

1) Pray For Villians Devil Driver
2) Black Gives Way To Blue Alice In Chains
3) Wrath Lamb of God
4) War Is The Answer Five Finger Death Punch
5) Evangelion Behemoth
6) Ruination Job For A Cowboy
7) Endgame Megadeth
Eight) Evisceration Plague Cannibal Corpse
9) Retribution Shadows Fall
10) i Xerath

Brian Bradshaw

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of November, 2009; 6/7.

Top 50 albums of 2009

11) Judy Sucks A Lemon For Breakfast Cornershop
12) It's Blitz Yeah Yeahs
13) Hazards of Love The Decemberists
14) Epcot Starfields Windmill
15) We Ain't Got No Money, Honey, But We Got Rain Liam Frost
16) Two Dancers Wild Beasts
17) Junior Royksopp
18) My Maudlin Career Camera Obscura
19) Empire of The Sun Empire of The Sun
20) Until The Earth Begins To Part Broken Records
21) Monsters of Folk Monsters of Folk
22) Forget The Night Ahead The Twilight Sad
23) Hundreds of Lions Erin McKeown
24) Origin Orphans The Hidden Cameras
25) Everything Is New Jack Penate

26) New Words Charlotte Hatherley
27) The Liberty of Norton Folgate Madness
28) Bitto Orca Dirty Projectors
29) Kingdom of Rust Doves
30) Turning The Mind Maps
31) Tarot Sport F*** Buttons
32) Don't Stop Annie
33) Beginning Middle End
34) Fantasies Metric
35) Yeah So Slow Club
36) Travels With Myself And Another Future of The Left
37) Room 7 1/2 Dot Allinson
38) Wilco (The Album) Wilco
39) To The City From The Sea Beat The Radar
40) Gorilla Manor Local Natives

41) Truelove's Gutter Richard Hawley
42) Lonely Road Liam McKahey And The Bodies
43) Hands Little Boots
44) The Real Feel Spiral Stairs
45) The Last Laugh Joker's Daughter

46) Which B*tch? The View
47) Once Kid Harpoon
48) The Duckworth Lewis Method The Duckworth Lewis Method
49) The New Pop Sound of Don't Move!
50) i'm OK Gable

Teletext page 823; 23rd of November, 2009.

Craig's Bond is plain boring

Pierce Brosnan exudes charisma and style in any role he undertakes, which is why he was perfect for the role of James Bond. Daniel Craig is just plain boring. Timothy Dalton was also an excellent Bond, as he too is a great actor. Jem, London

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 1/6.

Have an evil Christmas

My feel-good Christmas films are Christmas Evil, Christmas Season Massacre, Psycho Santa, Satan Claus, Satan Claws and Santa's Slay. Richard, Wolves

Dodger- The Big Silence was shown in a Spaghetti Western season on BBC2 in the late 1980s/ 1990s. Brilliant, but bizarre. A mute hero is killed and the bad guys win. The ultimate beak ending has still got to be Night of The Living Dead. Major Easy, Barnet

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 2/6.

I'll miss my daily highlight

I discovered Vortex a couple of years ago, and I've looked at it every day since. I've been fortunate enough to have been posted. I'm sad Teletext is ending. I shall miss seeing the familiar a
nd unfamiliar names commenting on the board.

Goodbye and thank you to Vortex and to all those who have made contributing to one of my daily highlights. I will miss you all.Lizzy, Ealing

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 3/6.

Which film beat all the best?

Go on then, what's the best film of 2009? Moon? District 9? Salvation? Reza, Huddersfield

What about the gems made for TV? Spielberg's Duel, Hooper's Salem's Lot (though both made the cinema). Darren McGavin in The Night Stalker and my all-time favourite, Donner's A Christmas Carol with George Scott. Also, The Incredible Hulk for that memorable line and bringing our hero to life. James, Llanelli

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 4/6.

Too short for cinema seat

I vaguely remember being taken by my parents to see Wolfgang Reitherman's Robin Hood in 1973. I'm unsure of the release date but I was very young and had to lean forward to see over the balcony at Teignmouth's Riviera cinema. t rivers, sussex

Sal- I totally agree about Kevin Spacey. If you have not seen K-Pax I would like to recommend it. The part in which he eats the banana is classic. Matthew, Islandmagee

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 5/6.

Terminator without Arnie?

Lance Henriksen was to be The Terminator before Arnie got the part. What a completely different film that would've been. Chris, Hamilton

Stu- I fondly remember Martian Chronicles, but I think it's available. Pity. Jim, Halesowen

mondo- You forgot Geraldine starring Julie Walters, based on a true story. Gothic Fairy, Nottingham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of November, 2009; 6/6.

On the hunt for bass

Nice to see that Basshunter will be on this week's Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Will his friends Halibutseeker and Codbotherer be there too? Boom boom! Eyethangyew

(i forgot to put the name of the person who wrote this. )

Void: Soleslayer, HaddocKiller...

A song to play on the cusp of newg Monster album. year when having a quiet one at home with a bit of fizz, of course, is REM's Strange Currencies from their slow-burning Monster album. Gazzoir

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 1/7.

Joining the Chapel

I checked out Chapel Club after the PS interview and they seem to have a cool Bauhaus vibe going on. I'd like to add something regarding the end of PS but I can't see my keyboard: must be something in my eye. Johnny Decibel

I was listening to Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion at least 10 times and still can't get into it. What albums that have had mass critical acclaim have Voiders failed to get into? Vegi

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 2/7.

Morrissey attitude a meaty issue

A lot of people who like The X Factor and boy bands get called sheep, for following the herd. But it seems you don't have to follow a corporate act to be a sheep, as proved at the Morrisssey gig when he had a fan thrown out for criticising his vegan comments.

How many of those fans were vegan? They were more likely sucking up. I'm a fan of Moz's music but when it comes to his judgemental views on non-vegan fans, I echo that lone fan. Great User Name

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 3/7.

Dr Barratt should be on prescription

I'm not sure if I could pick a definitive album of the decade but, based on Dr Barratt's definition, I reckon The Flaming Lips' Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots and Cat Power's The Greatest must have a shot. The Doc

My album of the decade is 2003's The Power To Believe by King Crimson. Such a shame their 40th anniversary is being marked only be reissues. Farewell to PS too. At least I'll be ready quicker in the morning. Wonderland

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 4/7.

The Cult simply dreamy

On the topic of bands we've been rediscovering, I've got into The Cult again lately. I've loved them since the Dreamtime era when I was a teenager, but I can't stop playing Ceremony now. Many fans dislike it, but it's really grown on me. Noname

My album of the decade has to be Gravenhurst's The Western Lands. I'll be sure to check out Earls' label WET Records. Matt Hammond

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 5/7.

Sympathy for Hayman

I was sorry to hear about Darren Hayman being beaten up after his Nottingham gig. I've met him several times and he's one of the nicest guys in music, who always has time for his fans. Lauren Algerant-Fox

I don't see the fascination over Lady GaGa's new single. Abba v Boney M? Come on, the Marilyn manson-ish new video doesn't win me over enough to re-buy the album. As for PS, I'd sponsor you if I could. Eve's Treasure

The Void; Teletext page 825; 24th of November, 2009; 6/7.

New singles, by John Earls

JAMIE T The Man's Machine 5/10

A strange song to try to convince the doubters: his nasal voice has never sounded more whiny and hectoring, and the would-be gospel backing is tinny. He's got talent, but this is unfocused autopilot MCing.

WILD PALMS Over Time 5/10

Despite jittery post-punk guitar assaults, the alternately shrieking and dull staccato vocals don't help, and it's too clculating at being in vogue.

1/6.

BICYCLE THIEVES Stop To Start 9/10

The first great Liverpool band for some time, they rrive sounding like they know how to bruise people in the moshpit already- and do damage to their hearts too. Brilliant pugilistic rock, sung tenderly to help nurse the wounds.

LISSIE Why You Runnin' 6/10

Sweetly-sung country from Illinois with a sun-dappled ambient guitar riff, but it's too tasteful to soar as much as Lissie Maurus is capable of.

2/6.

DATAROCK The Pretender 7/10 The Norwegians have fallen out of fashion, yet some fruity, deep vocals like Phil Oakey over galloping guitars means theey have more of a party spirit than most '80s revivalist peers.

LUNAR YOUTH Misfits 8/10

A London trio who have the confidence to aim for the jugular with slick choruses to glide under Simon Berlin's David Sylvian-style vocals, meeting mass appeal is theirs for the taking.

3/6.

CHAPEL CLUB Surfacing 9/10

A magnificent debut that stares at the competition decides it's feeble and instantly offers something sturdier: namely, Bunnymen via Sisters dark pop complete with a cocky re-write of Dream A Little Dream in the chorus. Stunning.

THE HIGH WIRE Odds And Evens 8/10

Succulent fuzzpop chillout bliss from a trio whose boy/ girl harmonising is as sweetly pulled off as their hints of Go-Betweens melodic power.

4/6.

ROSE ELINOR DOUGAL Fallen Over 8/10

Third classic girlband heartbreak drama in a row from the former Pipette, who really should treat us to an album now. Gorgeous country slide here too, though it's really all about the thumping drums that kick in after two minutes. Or possibly the swoony chorus.

THE RIFLE VOLUNTEER End Season 6/10

Reasonable slo-mo doomy balladry, sung in a Cherry Ghost-style keening croon, but it's too staged to be singleworthy.

5/6.

KURRAN AND THE WOLFNOTES Whatab*tch 8/10

A terrific debut that, despite the savage kiss-off lyrics, sound like Paddy McAllon's dream rock & roll song thanks to Kurran's divine croon and classic handclapped whirling. This may be the start of something beautiful.

PENGUIN PRISON Animal Animal 7/10

Eccentric dance music from a New Yorker who, other than a passing resemblance to Thomas Dolby, is making uplifting nonsense entirely of his own stamp.

6/6.

Teletext page 823; 23rd of November, 2009.

Star Trek vs Moon

I saw Star Trek and Moon last week. Despite having a fraction of Trek's budget and cast size I enjoyed Moon more. Really good story and Sam Rockwell was good. Star Trek was still good though. I saw both on Blu-ray and they looked fantastic. Dave, London

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 24th of November, 2009; 1/6.