*Last Ever* Saturday Showcase.

Please vote for your bestest letter in March.
The closing date for all the votes is 6/4/2009.
Please vote!

1. The Leek of love.

People keep acting strangely towards me today. Maybe it's something to do with St David's Day. I couldn't find a leek in the fridge, so I've pinned a stick of celery to my lapel. A few people looked at me strangely, so I told them, "I need a leek!". They said, "Go off!" (or words to that effect). I don't think I'll bother with St David's day next year.

The Psychedelic Gloom.

The 18th will be the only day of note in March from now on - 'Zine Day.

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2. Tabby or not tabby?

We invented a cat puninator machine to make lots of cat puns for Mega-Zine and... other purposes, but we are really worried it is broken because lots of the puns are really paw, and lots of them are quite a meowth-ful too. We're not telling tall tails, it is such purrfect fun! It is the cat's pyjamas, with the cats, and the punnage, and the HOYVIN-GLAYVIN! Oh my!

The DeLorean and Little Blue Fox.

Certainly claws for concern. But lets not get hissterical. Etc, etc.

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3. Bye bye 'Zine.

Saying goodbye to 'Zine is like [Eeek! - WLW] with Patricia Routledge. Awkward, unwanted, uncomfortable and full of thoughts on how things could get so bad. They have though. And she says there won't be another series of Hetty Wainthrop Investigates. Bye 'Zine. I'd lick your tears WLW, but I don't think I could reach. Think of my tongue.

Mancomb Seepgood.

Never mind Hetty - what news on Hyacinth?

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4. Griffplar Of Doom. I could be an actor or a playwright. Probably the former, given my lack of experience writing anything longer than Perfect for the Twitterati set old boy.

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5. Bambler.

WLW, it doesn't have to end this way. You've pressed all my buttons in the right order over the years, and though we drifted apart after the disagreement over the answer to Question 11, please know if you ever want to come back, all you need to do is PRESS RED TO CONTINUE.

Bambler Boozler.

Coming here and flaunting your ongoing employment. How tactless.

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6. So farewell then.

Zine,
I remember when
I sent something in
the first time.
I called myself
Keyser Soze
Because of the Usual
Suspects.
It was Verbal all along,
you know.
Also Dumbledore dies.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic (Aged 17 1/2).

Wait- I thought he was really a woman?

*Please vote!

The bestest letter in March was "Bambler" by Bambler Boozler".
He got 9 out of 16 votes.
Well dones!

Bambler.

WLW, it doesn't have to end this way. You've pressed all my buttons in the right order over the years, and though we drifted apart after the disagreement over the answer to Question 11, please know if you ever want to come back, all you need to do is PRESS RED TO CONTINUE.

Bambler Boozler.

Coming here and flaunting your ongoing employment. How tactless.

*Thank you for voting, always!