Thou Shalt Always 'Zine.

"Thou Shalt Always 'Zine".
By Little Blue Fox, Paddy Irishman, The Silent Majority and Vigilante Maelstrom (oh gosh - I am sorry we are really pushy and bossy and self-righteous. ).

Thou shalt not steal punchlines.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow Lost Prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of WLW, Davord, Mr Biffo, Cedric the Sea Monster or Mavis in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any 'Ziner that gets printed 4 times a week is a 'Zine legend...some people are just persistant.
Thou shalt not read Backchat.
Thall shalt not stop liking a 'Ziner just because they’ve written three bad letters.
Thou shalt not question Cedric the Sea Monster. He's retired!
Thou shalt not judge a ‘Ziner by their first letter.
Thou shalt not judge a ‘Ziner by the name they thought was funny ten years ago.
Thou shalt not like Mondo Ray letters. Thou shalt not like emma-the-lil-angel letters.
Thou shalt not write letters about going into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, taking drugs and cheating on him. No-one cares.
Thou shalt not claim to love other 'Ziners so easily.
Thou shalt not use Backchat, Jaffa Cakes or Davord to get printed. Use it to get hated.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
Thou shat not disappear because no-one replied to you after one letter, you self-righteous prick!
Thou shalt not ask to be printed on a certain page week in, week out just ’cause one letter you wrote on page three was good, but you're never going to be good again.
Thou shalt not put 'Ziners and WLW on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were...
Broccoli The Evil One...just a 'Ziner.
1929...was just a 'Ziner.
The Hoopiest Frood...just a 'Ziner.
Caged Liberty...just a 'Ziner.
Satan's Rubber Duck...just a 'Ziner.
Lilac Leopard...just a 'Ziner.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex...just a 'Ziner.
The Brigadier...just a 'Ziner.
Zaganza...just a 'Ziner.
The Lightning Lady...just a 'Ziner.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic…just a ‘Ziner.
Insane Jam Sow...just a 'Ziner.
Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House...just a 'Ziner.
Topper...was just a 'Ziner.
Farmer Jack...just a 'Ziner.
The Next Big Thing...just a 'Ziner.
Thou shalt give equal worth to decent newbies as to decent oldbies.
Thou shalt remember that Japanimation, your cat, that boy you like and your radio DJ career were never part of the four elements...and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic letters, thou shalt not make repetitive generic letters, thou shalt not make repetitive generic letters, thou shalt not make repetitive generic letters.
Thou shalt not name drop.
Thou shalt not mention Jaffa Cakes.
Thou shalt not steal other people's ideas.
Thou shalt not reply to stupid and attention-seeking questions.
When I say "Spiky", thou shalt not say "Stuy".
When I say a joke thou shalt not say "LOL".
When I say "Jaffa" thou shalt punch me.
Thou shalt not be rude.
Thou shalt not shake it like an obscure Japanese 50 foot cartoon robot.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like Princess Psycho.
Thou shalt spell the word Apostrophe-Z-I-N-E not T-H-E-Apostrophe-Z-I-N-E, regardless of what WLW tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that WLW is a gay giraffe by saying "Really?".
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And most important of all...Thou shalt always...Thou shalt always...'Zine.

Wow, that's a lot of shalts.

Quote: Megazine Letters., Mar 2009

"Thou Shalt Always Kill" by Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip.

Yeah yeah yeah- and the most important one is not to p*ss me off period

Quote: Princess Psycho, Aug 2010

Yeah yeah yeah- and the most important one is not to p*ss me off period

What happens then?