'Zine Thing

Since way back in 1993,
We've written letters to our TVs,
Then waited for updates at our screens,
To read it and it's called Mega-Zine.

In Fulham lives a clever giraffe,
A monkey and two cats are his staff,
He helps provide us with daily laughs,
He separates the good from the naff -

Allegedly
- and who can afford -
To forget about that Lord of Tharg, Davord?

What's this nonsense here - that I'm reading?
Man, you wouldn't understand: it's a 'Zine thing.
People acting strange, and then exceeding.
It's a 'Zine thing.
Striving for humour - sometimes succeeding.
Don't say it's no good - 'cause that's misleading.
The daily dose of laughter we were needing.
It's a 'Zine thing.

For sixteen years, the misfit mobs,
Of lonely nerds and homely slobs,
Just worship this page like a god,
It was either that or pursuing jobs.

The pages would display our reports,
Our rants and puns and whimsical thoughts,
And WLW flaunts,
His cunning in cynical retorts.

And I see newbies on Page 3,
Abjuring their place in society.

What's this nonsense here - that I'm reading?
Man, you wouldn't understand: it's a 'Zine thing.
People acting strange, and then exceeding.
It's a 'Zine thing.
Mabel Mop is famous for her cleaning.
(...)
That part there's the hook, so it's repeating.
Now an interlude from Sniggledywingwong.

"Yo! Mega-zine, it talks to the kids,
The plain damn strange, the invalids,
The 'Zine's overseen by a lean, spotted, unseen Queen, then it's beamed to my screen by machines.
And in addition
It's my addiction
Reading it daily has become a tradition
Let us not forget the serial fiction
that our Mega-Zine has brought to fruition
Townie Tim, yeah, Matt Fatt,
Argyle businesses, Sprinkles the Cat,
Even if you think that 'Zine isn't all that,
It's still far better than writing to B******t.
So, Teletext, what happens next?
Frankly, I'm perplexed."

The 'Zine is over now, despite our pleading,
They don't know what they are superseding,
We have to let it go, we are conceding.
But I'd still welcome a legal proceeding.

What's this nonsense here that we were reading?
Man, you wouldn't understand: it's a 'Zine thing.
People acting strange, and then exceeding.
It's a 'Zine thing.

It's a 'Zine thing.

Here is a pictoral representation of my thoughts about Colin. I think it's time for a Colin fanclub.