An Interview With Little Becky BigMouth.

Becky said we can make a big interview for the Discussion About Megazine thread. It would be really cool and interesting, I hope. We could ask lots of questions about Megazine and all her letters and bestest Megaziners, and also lots of other questions and word associations too.
Also, lots of questions about books and music Coldplay too.
I hope it is a cool idea! :-[

Please does anyone want to make any questions at-all? - Please can you send them to the Megazine Letters account again. It would be really helpful!

*An Interview With Little Becky BigMouth.*
Questions by Alice, Barry, David-James, James and Sniggedlywingwong.

Howcome you really like Megazine?
It's full of insane people like me!

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners ever?
I don't know what they look like, so I can't say!

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners at the moment?
Me!

Which Mega-ziners do you think are really bad and annoying?
People who make puns on words jokes! Because I have to look up the words twice!

Which Mega-ziners have influenced all your letters?
Well, I think thats pretty obvious. I really miss those letters. Each one was always better than the last. God I really miss Camarac...

Where does the inspiration for your letters come from?
My letters are all about my exciting life, and my struggle to find the perfect boyfriend!

What types of letters do you think are really neat and cool?
Ones that look the same upside down - like O!

Creative and ignored or boring and famous?
I just looked up Creative - Boring and famous, please!

If you'd never found 'Zine, what would you be like now?
Creative and ignored!

You mentioned in a letter to 'Zine that you produced a love spell/potion to entrance a boy (or two). What exactly did this entail? Did it work?
It worked a little too well. I have boys chasing me all the time. Maybe this wasn't to do with the spell and is due to my dashing good looks. I had to burn rose petals along with a picture of my true love (ok, it was a crush at the time and I have since realised how hideous he was and dumped him) with weeping willow leaves and also bergamot and lavender because this makes the area smell delightfully like Turkish Delight (We always need sweet things in the world. Except when I'm around. I'm too much sugar for everyone to handle, I'd make them diabetic with my sexy sweetness! Seriously!). Then I had to throw the ashes of this into the wind. It was supposed to be a south-westerly wind, but who takes note of that? It really worked, because I got to meet a load of sexy hunks of firemen when my room caught fire. Man, they were good kissers!

Which 'Ziners do you have a crush on?
Oh, without a doubt it would have to be Sniggledywingwong. I cant believe the real Sniggledywingwong now writes into Zine! I have all his albums in the order he released them, "So Sniggle D", "Sniggledywingwong: Greatest Hits", "Solid as Iraq: The war rages on in my soul", "The Best Of Sniggledywingwong", "f*ck the Poleece", "Sniggledywingwong: Remasters of our own destiny" and "'Fo Shiz:The Remix Album".
I always found Mondo to be somewhat sexy too. Oh, and Spiky Stuy and Pablo Marmite. You know, I'm just boy mad, really. Give me a penis and I'm yours, baby! Sex is super-cool. God I love how I think like that. I'm so amazing. That was deep and spiritual.

Fudge or Chocolate?
Fudge, 'cos it's sweet and tasty like me <3

Which is your bestest Simpsons character?
Monty Burns, 'cos he's rich and he'll die soon.

What's your favourite Simpsons episode?
The one where Joey gets a turkey stuck on his head! Hahaha!

What are your bestest books and movies and bands?
Coldplay, obviously. I know they've never written a book, but reading is so boring! Like, snore. As for movies, does their Live DVD count? If not, "Mean Girls". I look like a prettier Lindsay Lohan, you know. Non-gay, obviously. Eww.

Howcome you really like Coldplay?
'Cos Chris Martin is well fit!

What is your bestest Coldplay song? Why do you really like it?
Green Eyes. I like to think it's about me...but my eyes are blue, don't tell anyone.

Chris Martin asides, who's your favourite member of Coldplay?
Guy, he's like...oh he's nice. If Chris won't have me, I'll have him instead.

How would you secretly dispose of Gwyneth Paltrow?
I would bury her beneath the fish fingers in the frozen food aisle where I work. Then Chris and I could raise Apple and Moses together, and have our own child. I'd call her Becky, after me.

Who are all your role models and heroes?
Chris Martin. He's so caring. Also Richard Branson. Not just because I love his beard, but because he has an ISLAND.

What are your bestest song lyrics?
"For you I'd bleed myself dry". It's SO DEEP!

What is your bestest Disney movie?
Cinderella. I like to think she's like me, she has a wicked stepmother too, and I'll find my Prince Charming as soon as Gwyneth gets lost. Only difference is my Daddy doesn't have me running about after my sisters. Who are still ugly, by the way. You can tell where the gorgeous genes went in this family, s'all I'm sayin'.

Who are your current celebrity crushes?
As if you haven't guessed, Chris Martin...but that's more of something that's going to happen than a crush. I went to see them live and he smiled at me, I know he did. That's practically a kiss!

What did you think of the X Factor? C'mon, we all know you loved it!
I thought it was great! I'm going to try and be on the next series, I've very good at singing. And even if I don't win, Simon Cowell will want to replace that geordie tart Cole with me, I'm much more talented.

What would your ideal job be?
One where I am paid lots and lots of money for just being fabulously me. Or a DJ. I make a cool DJ.

Hey, Becky B,
It's me, Sniggle D!
'cha remember me,
from So Solid C?
I think you're rad,
And I saw you work on the rad...
...io so I wondered if yor'd,
Play my solo record,
On your show, on your show, ON YOUR SHOW! GO! GO!
On your show! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
On your show, on your show, ON YOUR SHOW! GO! GO!
On your show! GO! GO! GO! TOE? OH NO!
If you're hot and you'll kiss me then yes. If you're not hot, but pay me lots of money or a really famous (like Tom Cruise), also yes. If you're just ugly and unfamous like a really boring person- I don't care if you're talented, you have to be famous and preferably pretty- then No.

Where's your most risqué piercing? Also, how many do you have now?
I have 27 piercings. Do you want me to show you my most risqué one? It's my nipple. I'll show you it if you're sexy. If not, tough.

What would you do on your ideal day?
I would start with a really long lie in where Chris Martin brings me breakfast in bed and serenades me with his new songs. Then I would take a trip to the spa and have a full body massage and treatment by really hot guys like Johnny Depp and Chris Martin. Johnny can lick chocolate off my body and Chris can massage my feet and give me a pedicure. All the hot guys would proposition me, but I would say no because I am way too gorgeous for them, and then Chris Martin and I would elope in Benidorm. Gwyneth, Apple and Moses ran off with that dead guy from the Manics.

If you were to describe yourself in 18 words, what would they be and in what order?
Zany, Wacky, SEXY, beautiful, gorgeous, random, gothic, bubbly, pierced, awesome, cute, delicious, good in bed, wongawonga, perfection, cool.

Who would win in a fight between you and Emma-the-little-angel? You? Or Emma?
Me. I am queen bee and she is just a silly, lame copy cat. She is Jody Marsh to my Jordan. Yes, she has a stupid fake nose too.

If you had the choice of being a mermaid or a centaur, which would you be and why?
Well, mermaids are sexy and centaurs are traditionally more masculine and strong, so I'm going to have to say mermaid. I would wear an uber-cute bra of pearls though, with turquoise starfishes over my nipples and if I wanted to let you see my nipple piercing, I could just lift up a starfish. One boy once told me I reminded him of a mermaid. I didn't know if he meant my lovely long hair, my dazzling smile, or my perfect torso. It turned out he meant it looked like I was hit in the face with the underside of a boat.

Name something really popular that you hate.
I hate My Name Is Earl. He is ugly and unfunny and I don't get him. He has no sex appeal.

Name something really hated that you like. Everything I like is cool. I only like cool things.

Why should you use all your superhero powers for evil?
Because I'm just fabulously me, and then everyone would see how great I am. It wouldn't be for evil because everyone loves me!

How Gothic are you, on a scale of 1 to 10?
666...I am gothic to infinity and beyond!

Name something really popular that you hate.
Pogs. They were little discs and there was some sort of game involved in it. But there was no real special edition celebrity Pogs. Maybe if they had pictures of Big Brother 2 housemates or New kids on the block, maybe then I would have been interested. But instead boys used to throw them at me and call me Russle-Tussle. Thats not how you play Pogs! Even I know that!

Name something really hated that you like.
Japanese Anime. Nobody seems to understand it like I do. I think its because I'm more sophisticated than everyone else I know. I'm willing to bet no-one here likes it either. I should recommend some of it to you. If I explain the story beforehand you might understand it better

Why should you use all your superhero powers for evil?
I wouldnt. I'd help loads and loads of people. I'd dress my little sister up as my sidekick, but really she'd do all the real superhero work while I get the credit. It's because I love her and she needs more exercise than me.

What is your most embaressing moment?
I was once waiting outside the arena where The Ordinary Boys were playing. Preston came out and I shouted "Marry me! I'm an Ordinary Girl! Don't marry Chantelle!". Then Preston walked slowly over towards me, said "Here she is, the love of my life!". Turned out Chantelle was standing beside me the whole time. OMG!! Anyway, as he kissed her, some girl who I'd earlier knocked down to get to the front pulled my knickers down and my purse fell out. I hadnt brought a handbag.

Please can you tell everyone a secret secret about you?
I have never shaven my armpits. I just wear big jumpers.

If you had the choice of being a mermaid or a centaur, which would you be and why?
Oh, like definately a mermaid.

Dragons or phoenixes?
ooohhhh, little baby dragons are just the cutest 'lil things ever. If I lived in the past I would have had my servents bring me some. I definitely would have been rich in a previous life.

Do you think there is a tiny alien inside your head like in "Men in Black"?
I've never seen it. After "Boom (Shake the room)", I could never look at Will Smith because I knew nothing he'd ever do would be able to beat that.

Do you believe in aliens?
Yes. There has to be life on other planets. They recently found a fart on another planet. I wonder how they smelt it though because spacemen wear such big helmets.

Do you believe in ghosts?
I saw one once. Like, omg, me and my friend Zeze were in a really old house and a spooky, glittery decrepid looking old man floated over to us and whispered "Hey little girls, you wanna be in my gang?" We ran away. Terrifying stuff.

What is your favourite thing you have done in 2009 so far?
Went to see Usher live in concert. OMG he's so amazing! He dances and he sings and I thought he was pointing at me to come up and sing with him but he wasnt and he wears such nice clothes and one of the backup dancers was looking at me the whole time for a second or two. It was great

Did you make any New Year's resolutions for 2009 at-all?
I decided to give up having a glass of scotch before bed every night. Unless I've had a really good day. I like to celebrate things.

Which 'Ziners do you really want to meet...
i) to get drunk with? No one. I dont get drunk, just overly sociable. I think I'm a little too sociable now cos I cant spell for sh*t
ii) to discuss the state of the enviroment? Princess Psycho. I feel like we would get along if there was no one else to talk to.
iii) to eat cookies with? emma-the-lil-angel. But I wouldn't really be eating the cookies. I just want her to get fat. She doesnt write to Zine anymore, so I hate her now.

*Word Association. (Please can you think of a word to describe everyone).
- ANBY...Hamby-pamby.
- Colonial Foot Soldier...Whats a colonial foot? Is that like Athletes foot?
- DeLorean that got struck by lightning...tshcshstschs (thats the sound thunder makes).
- Elden Ray...Stones.
- emma-the-'lil-angel...Marooned on an island hopefully.
- Farmer Jack...Mooo.
- Freshly Squeezed Cynic...Oranges.
- Insane Jam Sow...Mooo.
- Juinor Minister...Alistair Darling.
- Little Blue Fox...Mooo.. oh wait, thats wrong...
- Lilac Leopard...Claws.
- Lord Sebastian Flyte...My Fair Lady.
- Mancomb Seepgood/Lewis Gumdrops...Seepy sleepy sheep.
- Mondo Ray...Italiano.
- One Winged Angel...Circles.
- Pablo Marmite...Toast.
- Paddy Irishman...Guinness tastes yucky.
- Princess Psycho...Mooo.
- Psychic Potato...Fingers.
- Satan's Little Helper...Assistant.
- Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House...Juicy.
- Spiky Stuy...Misunderstood.
- The Doc...Lists.
- The Silent Majority...Shush!
- TheUnitedTruth...Together.
- Topper...Up.
- Vigilante Maelstrom...Whirly.
- WLW...Typist.

- ANBY...Letters.
- Colonial Foot Soldier...Lanonlin.
- DeLorean that got struck by lightning... Doucherag.
- Elden Ray...Spotty.
- emma-the-'lil-angel...Wannabe.
- Farmer Jack...Hunky.
- Freshly Squeezed Cynic...Show-off.
- Insane Jam Sow...PercyPig.
- Juinor Minister...BORING.
- Little Blue Fox...cutiepie.
- Lilac Leopard...bitchin'.
- Lord Sebastian Flyte...Mr Darcy.
- Mancomb Seepgood/Lewis Gumdrops...Sweeties.
- Mondo Ray...Sexpot.
- One Winged Angel...heavenly.
- Pablo Marmite...God.
- Paddy Irishman...wongawonga.
- Princess Psycho...HEROINE!!!
- Psychic Potato...McCain.
- Satan's Little Helper...Simpsons.
- Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House

(i think the next interview should be with George.)

George isn't at all bad.

I think it was me, Colin, DJ and Alice what started it. I dont know who alls involved now. They kicked me out after I wanted to write a letter about Becky going on the game and putting her Bigmouth to work, then becoming involved in p*ss-and-sh*t-p*rn films.

My humbliest of apologies Claire. It was that long ago I barely remember anything about it. I dont even remember the email address or anything we send them from. And I think I was only involved with the first letter before I wandered off into the wild red yonder.

Yes. In fact, her and Santa hang out together and go to clubs to pick up blokes. The name Mrs.Claus is just because Santas old boyfriend was really catty and bitchy. He was actually called Mrs.Claws

OH MY GOD!

I remember LBBM!

Weren't there some Emma-the-lil-Angel connotations involved in her creation? Or possibly Spiky Stuy? I forget exactly; it's been a while, an' all...

That's happened elsewhere, though: 'Jumbo Beam' has received mild props or at least a positive acknowledgement from his selfsake Mondo Ray, and Paddy Irishman seems to speak regularly to 'Vigilante Maelstrom'!

Oui, de temps en timps.