Special WLW Saturday Showcase.

Please vote for your bestest Christmas takover WLW reply.
The closing date for all the votes is 22/1/2009.
Please vote!

1. Fan mail?

I usually get great presents from Santa. But he sent me a letter saying he can't afford presents due to the credit crunch and can only give me coal and sprouts. But he said i could be one of his elves and deliver mondo's presents and fan mail. So he gets cool presents and i don't? Hmph! If Santa thinks a couple of candy canes is going to make up for *that*, he is very much mistaken.

Aphra The Post-modern Spy, Hector's House.

Paddy Irishman: Can I have the sprouts and mail? I'm planning an elaborate practical joke.

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2. Postal disorder.

I'm so sad, and here is why: I wrote to you, but you never replied. I used that new post box, y'know, black and wide, on a lamp-post outside, Parcel Force Worldwide. The one that says "Litter", but now I feel bitter, so "brb", I'm gonna drink glitter (Cue Dido sample).

Vigilante MaelStan.

Insane Jam Sow: Listen up friend, post boxes are red, and if you've letters to send, it's to these you must head; so heed what I say, and hopefully this'll, reduce the delay of your next epistle. Word!

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3. Dear Mr Marmite.

Must be hard being loved by some but hated by others. I've never tried you, although I did like those Marmite Mini Cheddars they used to make. What happened to those? What variety are you? The standard stuff, or squeezy? Or maybe you're full of Guinness or chamoagne (it is nearly Christmas)? And how's your arch-nemesis, Pedro Bovril?

Insane Jam Sow.

Pablo Marmite: Pedro was last seen plotting in his ox-bone castle. Shame you can't make a castle out of teast extract.

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4. Sprinkles the Prevaricat.

What's that, Sprinkles?
*meow*.
Cool! Oh, wow - whereabouts did you get all your Turkish delight?
*Meow meow*.
Narnia? The White Witch gave it to you?
*Meow!*.
Oh my gosh - please can you stop making lots of lies? You went to Narnia; you beat Death at chess; you were a cockroach for one day... You are a silly cat!
*Meow...*.

Little Blue Fox.

Vigilante Maelstrom: A friend of mine played Pattacake with Death once.
Just once.

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5. CFS.

I think my dad had Colonic Foot Syndrome back in the '90s. Or was it the Cardiodic Flu Stressgasm? Maybe it was Claspy Fipple Sirk. Circular Flab-Spine? Cyanic Foogie Sbbbbbrtqad?
Oh, no, my mistake, he had a ferret.

Rose Timp.

Colonial Foot Soldier: I found his ferret and now have a jacket made from Cuddly Ferret Skin. Probably just coincidence.

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6. Christmas Conundrum.

I was trying to organise a Christmas Countdown session for all the 'Ziners but Yorkshire Television turned you down because you have too many vowels. They also rejected WLW for exactly the opposite reason. But Mrry Chrstms anyway.

Mondo.

Haryuu No Hanekata: I was trying to organise a day of funny letters; and it clearly didn't work.


*Please vote!

(Several of the dates are credited as 2009 above)

Quote: pablomarmite

I actually though that was my worst reply out of the bunch.

:-[ i enjoyed reading Jolene Zine, but i wasn't sure which of your replies to nominate.