An Interview With Pablo Marmite.

Joel said we can make a big interview for the Discussion About Megazine thread. It would be really cool and interesting, I hope. We could ask lots of questions about Megazine and all his letters and bestest Megaziners, and also lots of other questions and word associations too.
Also, lots of questions about DJ things and books and music too.
I hope it is a cool idea. :-[

Please does anyone want to make any questions at-all? - Please can you send them to the Megazine Letters account again. It would be really helpful!

Does the :-[ mean no one's written any?

Enola/Alone:Joel/Leoj

I hurt others to show my inner pain

*An Interview With Pablo Marmite.*
Questions by David-James and Strawberry.

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners ever?
The ones that always stick in my mind are The Artist Formerly Known As Gonzo from way back when it was just a yellow blob in the corner of the screen, Parsley Possum and Topper.

Who are your bestest Mega-ziners at the moment?
Vigilante Maelstrom and Little Blue Fox (and their various aliases) are single handedly keeping it going at the moment. Paddy Irishman has his moments.

Which Mega-ziners do you think are really bad and annoying?
Mondo Ray just doesnt get it. I have a feeling, judging from a letter to Planet Sound, that he must be at least 50, which is just... odd. Also, anyone who assumes we all have an in-depth knowledge of obscure Japanese anime. We don't.

Which Mega-ziners have influenced all your letters?
Most of the people who were writing around 1996-ish, because that got me reading it in the first place. However it was The Man With The Golden Bun who actually got me writing in, because he was a friend at school and I wanted to be better than him.

Where does the inspiration for your letters come from?
All over the place, dumb jokes we made up, other letters, and on at least one occasion a really weird dream involving Liam Gallagher surfing.

Howcome you stopped writing to Megazine?
I stopped writing regularly when I moved to uni and didn't have teletext. Eventually when I got it back I'd kinda lost touch, so I didn't bother writing again.

Please are you going to make any more Pablo Marmite letters ever? - You could write letters with a different name - no-one would know it is you!
Pablo Marmite is staying retired. Although after David-James sent in a letter of mine under a different name (Fake Plastic Bees) I kinda considered writing again under another name. Who knows?

What types of letters do you think are really neat and cool?
Just be original, and be funny. And don't try so hard to make an immediate impression.

Creative and ignored or boring and famous?
Boring and famous, sorry. Creative and ignored is just the ultimate frustration.

If you'd never found 'Zine, what would you be like now?
I have no idea, but it would be completely different. VR basically got me through uni, and I met two girlfriends as a result. OK, that's quite sad, one would be acceptable, two is just geeky.

I remember when I read Past Shouts in 2006, someone said that you had done two challenges for VR. I know that one was the YouTube thing, but what was the other one?
I'm not sure you're right, I can't ever remember doing one of the challenges. I don't think I was even writing in 2006. What was the YouTube one? Did I do that? I can't remember.

Have you ever written to Backchat?
Haha, I was on Backchat before I was on Zine! Using my real name though, there was one message on Backchat under the name Pablo Marmite but that wasn't long after I said I wanted an imposter on Zine, because it'd be flattering.

Fudge or Pilchards?
It's quite well documented I have an addition to Bailey's Fudge. Also, I'm not entirely sure what a pilchard is.

What's your favourite chocolate bar?
Galaxy Caramel, I think.

Which is your bestest Simpsons character?
It's really hard to pick one. But probably Ralph Wiggum. There's a song by The Bloodhound Gang where the lyrics are entirely Ralph Wiggum quotes. It's called Ralph Wiggum. Go download it.

What is your bestest Simpsons episode?
Either the one where Homer gets accused of sexually harassing the babysitter, or Trilogy Of Error, purely for the '123 Fake Street' gag.

Karl or Lenny?
Lenny has the better lines.

Pirates or ninjas?
Pirates. Although it's just struck me how often people go out dressed as pirates, but I've never seen anyone going out dressed as a ninja.

What is your bestest Pokemon?
Charizard. I'm old-school.

What are your bestest books and movies and bands?
The last six or so books I've read have all been Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, if I had to pick one it'd be Carpe Jugulum. Favourite film at the moment is High Fidelity, because I am Rob Gordon, and favourite band will always be Radiohead.

What was the first single you ever bought?
I'm not entirely sure, because I never really bought singles. It may have been Muse's Dead Star/In Your World.

What was the first album you ever bought?
Now 30. First proper album was Garbage - Version 2.0.

What is your favourite one hit wonder?
The Walkmen, who released a wonderful intense riot of a track called The Rat a few years ago, then made a lot of awful stuff and vanished.

What is your favourite black and white film?
Sin City. Does that count?

Girls with guitars or girls with glasses?
Girls with guitars. It automatically adds 20 attractive points to a girl.

Who are all your secret shy Indie girl crushes? Do you like the girl in Hadouken!, still? [I really like the girl with orange hair in Los Campesinos (Harriett?) and also Anna in The Annuals].
The singer in Los Campesinos? Isn't that Aleks? Because I totally fell in love with her at Glastonbury. Ida Maria is another current one, and Lovefoxxx, obviously.

Howcome you are a DJ? Do you think it is cool fun? Do lots of bands send you free CDs?
I started because I worked on the bar at the club, and when I wasn't working I hung around the indie DJ and talked about music. He taught me bits and pieces, then eventually let me do a night, then I took over his night when he left. It can be a lot of fun, although when it's not going well it can be really grating and you have to deal with a lot of annoying drunk people. And yes, I'm on a mailing list so I get quite a few free CDs through. Although I have to write feedback for the company on each one, and a lot of them are sh*t.

Judge Jules or Dave Pearce?
I don't think I have much in common with either, but I remember listening to Dave Pearce on the radio when I was like 10, so him.

Who is your bestest radio DJ?
Colin Murray probably. I just think he's a really nice guy, who knows his stuff.

Do you really want to be a radio DJ, eventually? Do you think they are sell out/fake DJs?
It was never my intention when I started, but yeah, I wouldn't mind. I think you have to be a sell out to be successful in the industry, I play so much crap I'd be ashamed of myself if I wasn't getting £20 an hour.

Please do you play "Get the party started" by P!nk, ever, because you really want to get the party started?
Haha no, it's never happened and it never will.

Please can you tell everyone a secret secret about you?
I'm one of the most paranoid people you will ever meet.

What is your most compulsive habit?
I need to have something to fiddle with at all times, that's partly why I grew my hair.

Name something really popular that you hate.
There's the obvious stuff like Carling and The Sun and stuff, but right now my current irk is Crystal Castles. It's like the music industry's gone "Right, if we tell everyone they're the coolest band in the world, I wonder if we can actually get people to buy white noise".

Name something really hated that you like.
Richard Dawkins. He's only a b*st*rd like that because it's the only way you can compete with organised religion.

If you appeared on Jerry Springer, what would your episode be about?
"Guys who can only attract really annoying girls".

Would you accept a million pounds to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
Totally. I'd do almost anything for a million.

If there was a public execution on TV, would you watch it?
Possibly, out of morbid curiosity. I'm still vehemently opposed to the death penalty.

What is your earliest memory?
Being waste deep in snow in my old house's back garden, although I'm not entirely sure if I do actually remember that or it's just as a result of photos.

Would you be willing to become extremely ugly if it meant you could live for 1,000 years at any age you chose?
Nah coz if I got to choose the age, it'd be when I was hottest. It's sad but true that extremely ugly people get nowhere, and you'd have to want to get somewhere if you had a thousand years to play with.

When were you last in a fight?
At Mosh about a year and a half ago when my housemate at the time, Ben, slammed someone against the wall coz they complained he was dancing too close to them. Seeing as I knew all the bouncers, they got thrown out. If I see the troll guy Kyla left me for, he will be next.

Do you have any nicknames?
Not really, Joel's too short a name to do anything with. Anyone who calls me Hopalong, since I did my knee in, gets a slap.

Who are you closest to in your family?
Since she moved to America, my sister. I've not been close to any of my family for a long time, but I still talk to Dad a lot.

If aliens asked you to live on their planet for 5 years, would you go?
It depends how interesting it was. I'm not going to another planet for five years just to be probed.

With which historical figures do you identify?
Niccolo Machiavelli

*Word Association.*
- ANBY...Muchbiggerthanyouthink.
- Caged Liberty...Aloof.
- DeLorean that got struck by lightning...Unnecessary.
- Dr Namgge...Gaaaaaah.
- Elden Ray...Cutie.
- Farmer Jack...Homophobe.
- Freshly Squeezed Cynic...Reallyreallyscottish.
- Haryuu No Hanekata...Hats (I know nothing else about the guy, sorry).
- Insane Jam Sow...Listfreak.
- Junior Minister...Yawn.
- Little Blue Fox...Coolasf*ck.
- Lord Sebastian Flyte...Hikey.
- Mancomb Seepgood...Iwanthisjob.
- Man With The Golden Bun...Missing (seriously, I haven't heard from him in years).
- One Winged Angel...Notjapanesestoptryingtobe.
- Paddy Irishman...Pun-king.
- Satan's Little Helper...Tooartybyhalf.
- Satan's Rubber Duck...LOL.
- Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House...Difficult.
- Squirrel of Doom...Nongaymalelifepartner.
- The Doc...Outoftouch.
- The Psychedelic Gloom...Cantrememberanythingabouthim.
- TheUnitedTruth...Drugs.
- Topper...Legend.
- Vigilante Maelstrom...Soundslikebowie.
- WLW...Icoulddothat.

I do wonder precisely what your problem is with me, Joel. Can't say i've ever done anything to you.

Some excellent questions there.

I also forgot about the ask me anything thread... I must dig it up.

Quote: Paddy_Irishman

AND I AM NOT A p*rn-KING  

It says PUN! As in you use puns!

(i thought it was kind of an interesting thread; wasn't thrilled about being called difficult, but i s'pose that Joel is entitled to his opinion.)

dammit, I can't access that thread! I need to be informed about Archie Vintage Comic Free Download!!