Scary Hallowe'en Project 2007.

Quote: Megazine_Letters

Hi. I thought of an idea for Mega-zine.

We could try to write lots of spooky and scary letters for Maga-zine on Hallowe'en.

It would be pretty cool and fun, I think. We could try to make a whole day of VR letters, maybe.  

Please does anyone want to write a Hallowe'eny letter at-all?



Halloze'en. :-[

Don't we Halloze'en every year?
I ever-so-slightly remember my letter from last year, it was about some kid called Darun or something similar - a weird corruption of a male name beginning with D... I think he had a surname too, but I don't recall it... and he lost his fingers. I did scary band name puns, too, I think.
Anyway, I'm in! Maybe another scary pun list, too.

It is all the letters in 2005 and 2006. - I hope they help you think of lots of spooky ideas.


*2005.*

Page Vun.

Little Gruesome Fox. Happy Hallowe'en! Mwahahahah!

Screaming Spiky Stuy. I'm back! Aaaah!

Emma-the-lil-fallen-angel. I'm back too! AAAAH! The horror!


Page Two.

"It's aliiive!".

One dark and stormy night, with bolts of lightning and a mind of vitriol, madness and loneliness, I tried to create my perfect boyfriend.
But, oh, I was so foolish to disturb nature. - I've created an unlovable monster.
He has orange hair. And freckles! On his arms!!
What have I done?

Little Becky HeadWounds.

Maybe it is you who is
THE UNLOVABLE MONSTER?


Page Three.

Trick or Treat?

Ah, Halloween. The only time of the year when people can give strange small children sweets without getting lynched by Daily Mail readers.
A few children came round my door, actually. One was dressed as a witch, and so naturally I told her to wait 'til I got the matches so I could burn her, because that's what we do to witches.
I was joking, of course. I didn't have any matches.

Freshly Strangled Cynic.

You should save some of them
FOR BONFIRE NIGHT!


Page Four.

The Horrible Halloween Monster.

I lie in my bed, terrible and old, watching the street lights glow and dance when a noise peels me away from my thoughts. It's a low hum, like some sort of Horrible Halloween Monster!! "Oh no", I screamed, monsters are notoriously bad news. I curled up in bed awaiting the monster's venomous fangs...the tension mounted... I feared every new noise..."tick...tock" went the incessant clock...I waited.
The following day, after surviving, I realised it was all a dream.

Topper Van Dort.

Are you sure
IT WAS A DREAM...?


Page Five.

Hallowe'en brings out the evil in us all.

I watched silently as she took the knife, gleaming silver in the moonlight, the blood dark in patches a quietly dripping to the floor. She stabbed inwards, a violent movement, carving out an eye, a nose, teeth.
Orange flesh fell to the floor, the smell of guts and gore carried in the still, humid air. I switched on the light. There on the floor were the severed limbs of my fellow kitchen members, decapitated heads, blank eyes staring vacantly.
Tough break, lasses. Shouldn't have forced me to listen to James sodding Blunt.

Elden Braaains.

They got what
THEY DESERVED!


Page Six.

Vunderful!

I asked out a girl with a pink scarf and cool black hair.
She said yes, but also she said she is a vampire, too. It is so exciting!
We are going to show everyone how to count properly, and also we are going to drink all their blood in our eternal twilight darkness.

Little Wooo000ooo Fox.

Awww - that's so sweet.
AND ALSO RATHER DISTURBING.


Page Seven.

The Raven (Final Verse).

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting,
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor,
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Edgar Allen Poe.

Nameless here for ever more
THIS IS IT AND NOTHING MORE.



*Today's Hallowe'en Megazine was screamed at you in the keys of A, and C; and also by the number 6.

*Happy Hallowe'en!

----- -----

*2005.*

Page One.

Hallowe'en Playlist.

- Scareosmith.
- The Tragic Numbers.
- Bad Apparition.
- The Shivertines.
- Fright Eyes.
- Patrick Werewolf.
- Radiodead.
- The Ghostal Service.

Vigiphantom Maelstrom.

Call me W-Hell-W for the day, VM. And I'm a big fan of Ghouls Aloud myself...


Page Two.

Toilet Ghosts.

Sometimes on dark nights, peanuts come back to haunt bathrooms everywhere! They appear by dreadful magic in the toilet wit the devil's sweet corn and on occasion the hell spawn sesame seed demons!
To spot these paranormal activities, you need Yvette Fielding, a strong stomach and to be brave enough to face sulphurous smells from beneath.

The Horrible Harpie Nesting on Lord Sebastian Flyte's Pumpkin.

Sounds like a job for Mabel Mop to me.


Page Threeeeaaagh!

Not-So-Fancy Dress.

Ahh Halloween is upon us once again, the one time in the year where it's OK for me to dress up as a woman. Why, you may ask, wouldn't Dracula be more appropriate? But what's scarier than a 6'4" bearded man in a flowery dress.

Fluffy The Evil One.

A 6'4" bearded woman in a flowery dress perhaps? Mabel just doesn't listen - floral prints do nothing for her.


Page Four.

Nevermore.

Screams. Terror. Pain. Horror. The horror! Help...please help. Foolish. So foolish. Arrogant. Videotape. Cursed. Haunted. Death. Dead. Seven days. Darkness. Helpless. Princess Nikki. Complete first season.

Little Wooo000ooo Fox.

So that means Nikki is stuck down a well somewhere? Best leave her there.


Page Five.

The True Horror.

Here's a tip for the most frightening costume to wear trick or treating this Halloween. It's not a ghost, or a werewolf, or a witch, or a vmpire. It's not even a James Blunt mask and cape. No, the most terrifying doorstep apparition possible in October is that red-coated buffoon himself, Father Christmas.
Go away until December, old man!

Insane Jam Sow.

Ignore Santa, he's just a stooge. The real power lies in the elves.


Page SixSixSix.

Trolleyed.

There are trolls in my flat. They are lovely...except on Halloween, when they turn into zombies. Who will save me? Perhaps Elden Ray will let me hide in her time machine. Maybe Vigilante Maelstrom will zap them with his glasses. Or perhaps One Winged Angel and Satan's Little Helper will lend me a sword and a pitchfork.
You'll help me won't you, 'Ziners? Hey, where'd you go?

Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House.

Sword? Pitchfork? A simple keyring is usually enough to enslave them.


Page Seven.

Acid Rain.

So there I was, kicking about when some clouds came over and acid rain popped out. Now you might think that this would only be dangerous to monuments and limestone and stuff, but no. First, it stripped everyone to their dermatalogical layers and then changed everyone into Halifax's Howard.
Plus, we now have vampire cows. Spooky.

Standard Class Beta.

Bet that turned them into a real laughing stock.


Page *Eight*.
A Ghost Story.
I live in the most haunted village in Britain. We have been cursed.
Our houses were built on the site of an horrific medieval battle.
The fallen knights haunt us. They scream and whisper, invading/and invade our sleep with visions of their terrible slaughters.
We cry, oh, we cry, awaiting our exorcism.

Blossom Black Shadow (of Death!).

You've really captured the spirit of the Halloween 'Zine there, Blossom.

- Grrr. Aaargh.

I will try to think of something..

I sent my letter today.