Saturday Showcase - August 2007.

Please vote for your bestest letter in August.
The closing date for all the votes is 24/9/2007.
Please vote!

1. Shedding pounds.

I took all my loose change to the bank today, in those little plastic bags. Isn't it amazing how they know, just by weighing them, that you're tuppence short of a pound? They must have some super-sensitive scales. I'd like some of my own, so I could monitor my own value in 2ps. Imagine the weekly weigh-in: Hoorah! I've lost £1.50!

Insane Jam Sow.

I don't need scales to know most Ziners are tuppence short of a pound.

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2. Entrepreneur.

A young entrepreneur was setting up a business; but what to name it? He didn't want to give it a fashionable name, as fashion changes. He could name it after himself, but he may just end up changing his name someday; so he named it after the one thing about himself that he'd never change. A humble beginning for Richard Branson.

Vigilante Maelstrom.

Cheap, obvious and oblivious to fact. Ticks all the Zine boxes.

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3.. Mondo Love.

If Mondo Ray can love a giraffe (and he does) then I can love my new Panda. Because he's a Cornwall-based heathen Geordie and not as American or Jewish as me, he has pointed out that he has not had the "personal snippet" to which you keep referring. He also said "What's a tea bag?". He doesn't watch Prison Break.

Almost Famous.

If I could blush via the medium of Teletext, I would.

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3. Fluffy's New Job...

...Announcing Bully's Prize Board.
In 1: it's David Bellamy's shaving kit, a lawnmower and garden shears.
In 2: Ronnie Corbett's runabout, a child's three-wheeler bike.
In 5: Something for the wife: a Black abd Decker workbench and tools.
In 8: Give the kids a rest with this dishwasher.
After all, Fluffy does talk a load of bull. Ba-dum-tsh!

Aphra The Post-Modern Spy.

And he's always demanding to be herd. Double ba-dum-tsh!

I'll get my coat...

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4. The Gollum and Smeagol Show.

Smeagol: Please welcome Mondo Ray. Yaaay!
Gollum: Pah!
Smeagol: But we loves him!
Gollum: No we doesn't, precious. We hates his tricky and sneaky ways.
Smeagol: He is our *friend*.
Mondo Ray: Hi, I am really smug and boring!
Gollum: Get out.

Dead Child Playing.

Mondo, I fear you're about to overtake Fluffy as the latest hate figure.


*Please vote!