Please vote for your bestest letter in december.
The closing date for all the votes is 12/1/2007.
*Please vote!*.
1.
Fairy Christmas. Every time a jingle bell is shaken on a TV commercial, a fairy dies. As we enter Advert; I mean, Advent, this is becoming a quite scary statistic. The only way to stop this, is by turning off your televisions and doing your part, by striking a minute's worth of cowbell each evening. Did you know that some vegans refuse to play cowbells?
Vigilante Maelstrom. Gothic Fairy vs a jingle bell? I know who I'd back to come out in one piece.-----
2.
FOODS THAT SOUND LIKE DISEASES. - Broccoli florets.
- Snickers.
- Monster Munch.
- Sprouts.
- BLT.
- Waffles.
- Coco Pops.
- Smoothies.
- Toad in the hole.
Blossom Black Shadow. *Puts down Mabel's spotted d*ck pudding*.-----
3.
Declaration. You know those childhood crushes you get that you'll never admit to? Mine was a silver fox of a TV presenter with a one-time penchant for gophers... but I hid my lust, hiding my shrine under my bed and praying nobody ever found out my dirty secret. But then came Test The Nation and I decided it was time to be proud. So, people of Mega-Zine, I must declare: I Love Phillip Schofield.
Lilac Leopard. I'm no Scho-mophobe; but it's just not natural, LL. -----
4.
DR NAMGGE. Ah, remember when we were young and got nostalgic over the past? Those were the days.
My friend, we thought they'd never end.-----
5.
SUPERMARKET WEEP. There's no fun working in a supermarket at Christmas. We have lots of extra stock, and half of it baffles me. Why do people eat more pickled onions at Christmas? why the boxes of cream crackers? What do you do with suet?
I think you could sell roast gerbil as long as you put it in a festive box.
Stupid customers.
Insane Jam Sow. Smoked old oak hamster might sell well. I hear roast Guinea pig is a delicacy in Ecuador even when it's not Chrimbo.