Please vote for your bestest letter in October.
The closing date for all the votes is 17/11/2006.
1.
Ironic punishment division. The infra-red hand dryer at the cinema is so frustrating. It is so scatty and erratic. I believe the person who invented them should have an infra-red life support machine: sometimes it works, sometimes it completely stops for no reason and other times it burns your hands. Ha! Or I could just kick him where it really hurts... the legs!
The Salmon Of Doubt. Try using one when you're 18 feet tall.. or going to the cinema at all, for that matter. -----
2.
TUBE TALES. The Underground must be the most miserable place in London. Have you actually seen anyone smile, other than when you step on their toes? You need to watch the "pinchers" on the Tube, mind. They fight their way into the middle of carriages to pinch a seat at the first opportunity.
Next stop Hell. Change at Hell for more misery and Circle Line.
Junior Minister. I thought you'd have a Jaguar and driver at the ready, JM? -----
3.
THIS CHALLENGE IS PANTS REALLY REALLY GOOD. So Tony Blair finished his lasy Labour Party Conference as Prime Minister of the land you call United Kingerland. According to my source, a certian Mr Brownie, Tony did not wear pants during his speech as he likes the wind of free speech to breeze through him like...wind.
To be honest, I couldn't tell the difference. My eye is always drawn to his tie. Where does he get them?
Paddy Irishman. Hmm, three letter's about TB's pants in one day? I smell a challenge. You win. -----
4.
Classy. Charlie Brown had a red-headed girl. Our lectures have one too. She just cannot keep her mouth shut, so we're all taking bets on how long it'll be. The record (today) was seven minutes. It's a great way for the class to bond when she starts going on about how her Latin name in her reconstruction group is... something along the lines of Boudicca, but not that classy.
Elden Ray.-----
5.
Farm fashion. If farmers are going to paint their sheep, you'd think they'd at least put some effort into it. Most sheep you see, just have a coloured blotch on their backs. Now, if I were a sheep, I'd much prefer a nice stripy pattern, maybe some emo stars... I like stars.
One Winged Angel.-----
6.
BEAUTIFOOLED.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you say, WLW? That's just what ugly people say. If you have a face like a bag of spanners, hen I'm sorry - you're not going to win beauty pagents.
Now gurning - you might be in with a chance. Unless it's held in Cornwall, hear they're pretty good.
Dalek. Didn't you ever hear that song "If I'm ugly then so are you?" SO there! *Blows raspberry with 20-inch tounge*. Please vote!