Please vote for your bestest letter in August.
The closing date for all the votes is 24/8/2005.
1.
FAKE TAN.For a while now I've worried myself into a goo about fake tan. People say it's just something you rub into your skin adding a bronzed tone, but how do they then extract the sun's beams from the sun, and turn them into actualized cream and then store it in the bottles?
The sun is like a coiled beast in waiting - if we mess with it, then we can only blame ourselves for the havoc it will no doubt wreak.
Stuttercut Did that happen to REM at Live 8?
IT TURNED MICHAEL STRIPE'S FACE BLUE -----
2.
MY COMPUTER.Yes, my computer. They dared sell it to me as a life-changing super computer. They promised me a monkey operated computer, and what did I get?
After putting bits of sliced banana into my CD drive and them returning with a "no, thank you" reply, I took the computer apart and found it was weasel operated. Quite frankly I'm appalled, and my weasel is dead at the time of writing. Damn you, Bill Gates.
Big Bob Flapper Don't knock it - in years to come
WEASEL COMPUTERS WILL BE VALUABLE -----
3. "And so Zine gave way to the evils of text, nd there was much wrath amongst those upon high as the Promised Page was turned to much sin, like Crazy Frog and Horrific Dullness.
"And yea, the Cynical One became enraged, and smote those who spoke against the laws of the Page. He smote those who had fallen, and those who caused them to fall. And there was much rejoicing."
Freshly Squeezed Cynic. Take it you won't be needing my text
ABBREVIATION DICTIONARY? NOT SO GR8. -----
4.