Please vote for your bestest letter.
The closing day for all the votes is July 30th.
1.
NEVER USE... (WLW's comment)....a hot water bottle.
So, it's 5am and there I was in bed, disturbed by a dream including Gareth Gates anda huge scarecrow. I was drenched in water rom a hot water bottle I had to use in June!
Believe me when I say everything was wet. So please God. PLEASE let Nottingham have some sun.
Emma-the-lil-angel. We won't make the obvious gag
COS WE'D GET IN TROUBLE! -----
2.
PAGE 1. How many letters do you think could fit on page 1if we all did one-letter letters? I guess twelven. Yes, twelven.
Maybe we could all just make onecolective letter on page 1 with these one letter letters. That would be good. On a semi-related note, I frsee that this letter's not going to make it on to page 1.
Truly, I'm like Mystic Meg without the dodgy wig.
Lilac Leopard. Lacking the dodgy wig but possessing
FOUR PURPLE PAWS AND LEGS. -----
3.
HOW TO GET PRINTED. Denial: "It's been 8 months since you sent your letter and your confident it won't be much longer until printed".
Anger: "If WLW won't print me, I'll go pull faces at all the giraffes I see".
Bargaining: Involving Jaffa Cakes, a soul and an over-zealous devil.
Depression: "Am I really less amusing than Spiky Stuy?"
Acceptance: "Oh well, perhaps I should get myself one of those life things".
So WLW ... how are you for Jaffa Cakes.
Dissimulation (bargaining). Oh my FAVOURITE 'ziner! You must
HAVE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS *MUNCH...* -----
4.
ACTUALLY WLW, readers, Phillip, I have a
confession.
I am not a whirlpool of extraordinary
size or violence who advocates the
taking of law enforcement into their
own hands.
I am actually a 14-year-old boy called
Colin from Newcastle-under-Lyme.
Hah, I'm just joshing you!
Vigilante Maelstrom So you are really...
A 13-YEAR-OLD FROM STOKE CALLED KEN? -----
5.
AVOIDING POTATOES If I was involved in a tractor accident, I think I'd opt to have no teeth, as opposed to slow hand to eye co-ordination or broken arms. That way, I wouldn't have to eat solid food, like potatoes. I'm not keen on those, so I'd have an ideal excuse.
Also, what's the deal with sprouts these days. They're like peas, but bigger, and made of a stronger smell. Wee-yard.
Farmer Jack Fave joke time: if you had accident
WOULD YOU BE AN EX-TRACTOR FAN? HAHA