Saturday Showcase - June 2005.

Please vote for your bestest letter.
The closing day for all the votes is July 30th.


1. NEVER USE... (WLW's comment).

...a hot water bottle.

So, it's 5am and there I was in bed, disturbed by a dream including Gareth Gates anda huge scarecrow. I was drenched in water rom a hot water bottle I had to use in June!
Believe me when I say everything was wet. So please God. PLEASE let Nottingham have some sun.

Emma-the-lil-angel.

We won't make the obvious gag
COS WE'D GET IN TROUBLE!

-----

2. PAGE 1.

How many letters do you think could fit on page 1if we all did one-letter letters? I guess twelven. Yes, twelven.
Maybe we could all just make onecolective letter on page 1 with these one letter letters. That would be good. On a semi-related note, I frsee that this letter's not going to make it on to page 1.
Truly, I'm like Mystic Meg without the dodgy wig.

Lilac Leopard.

Lacking the dodgy wig but possessing
FOUR PURPLE PAWS AND LEGS.
-----

3. HOW TO GET PRINTED.

Denial: "It's been 8 months since you sent your letter and your confident it won't be much longer until printed".
Anger: "If WLW won't print me, I'll go pull faces at all the giraffes I see".
Bargaining: Involving Jaffa Cakes, a soul and an over-zealous devil.
Depression: "Am I really less amusing than Spiky Stuy?"
Acceptance: "Oh well, perhaps I should get myself one of those life things".
So WLW ... how are you for Jaffa Cakes.

Dissimulation (bargaining).

Oh my FAVOURITE 'ziner! You must
HAVE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS *MUNCH...*

-----

4. ACTUALLY

WLW, readers, Phillip, I have a
confession.

I am not a whirlpool of extraordinary
size or violence who advocates the
taking of law enforcement into their
own hands.

I am actually a 14-year-old boy called
Colin from Newcastle-under-Lyme.

Hah, I'm just joshing you!

Vigilante Maelstrom

So you are really...
A 13-YEAR-OLD FROM STOKE CALLED KEN?

-----

5. AVOIDING POTATOES

If I was involved in a tractor accident, I think I'd opt to have no teeth, as opposed to slow hand to eye co-ordination or broken arms. That way, I wouldn't have to eat solid food, like potatoes. I'm not keen on those, so I'd have an ideal excuse.

Also, what's the deal with sprouts these days. They're like peas, but bigger, and made of a stronger smell. Wee-yard.

Farmer Jack

Fave joke time: if you had accident
WOULD YOU BE AN EX-TRACTOR FAN? HAHA

I did wonder that..

(in the actual poll though, not the comment nomination)

I thought this was being done via a completely open vote from every letter in the week, with people nominating in their post? It seems a fairer way of doing it than having one person decide on the few that deserve to be in the running.

The fact nobody said anything last time doesn't mean a little modification wouldn't make it better, however if this is a kind of reward for the copier monkeys than fair enough, I simply didn't know that.

Also, I don't think I explained perfectly; I didn't mean everybody nominating and then voting based on all those nominations, as yes, you'd be right, everyone would just vote for the letter they nominated. My suggestion was for people to vote in the thread for their fave letter from all of the week's letters and then someone just counted through and a winner was decided. I know it would involve people either having to actually read 'Zine or trawl through the copied up letters from the week, but I just felt it was a better way of doing it. However, as I've said, if this is mainly for the copiers, then that's okay.

Okay, well that's fair enough, but didn't Jamie win that? His letter was the only one that got a vote.

Quote: Gmo_

Well that was before, when the Copier Monkeys were more organised. But letting people make their own minds up is much less likely to get responses then giving them a choice of half a dozen, as has been shown.

That's fair enough. My idea, although a good one in theory, obviously isn't a good one in practice, I just thought it was a more democratic way of doing it.

Arrogant and pushy? Nahhh. You have good taste.

VOTE CLAIRE.

Yeah, drum up attention.

For example, announce the winner wearing nothing but a bow tie.

That's fantastic G, and rather telling that you actually voted for Jamie

I was talking about David being naked, not me...