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Removing Australian language resources...

Mega-Zine: Unseen Footage and Alternative Takes

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Colin

| 10,038 posts

28^th Feb 2005 at 9:52 pm

TOILETS
Has anyone noticed how much toilets smell? Especially Northern ones? I've just formed a group to stop this horrible stench.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my Clean Up Northern Toilets club meeting.

Take 2 at the swearing acronym. I've just sent it. Fingers crossed!

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

2^nd Mar 2005 at 12:47 am

Quote: VigiMael_

TOILETS
Has anyone noticed how much toilets smell? Especially Northern ones? I've just formed a group to stop this horrible stench.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my Clean Up Northern Toilets club meeting.

Take 2 at the swearing acronym. I've just sent it. Fingers crossed!

lol
i hope they dont read this page and realise. i reckon if they dont then that has a good chance of gettin on. they still print emma the mo-fo-ing angel all the bleedin time after all.

Colin

| 10,038 posts

2^nd Mar 2005 at 7:39 am

It does bear a definite similarity to another attempt though, an attempt that was thwarted by WLW.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts

3^rd Mar 2005 at 2:51 pm

Hope is important.

I worte a new letter today.

Little Story.

Mickey Mouse and his girlfirend went to the park. They made a picnic and jumped in lots of puddles, and also they played pooh-sticks, too.
The End.

It is a Minnie adventure.

From Little Blue Fox.

Does it make sense?

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Colin

| 10,038 posts

3^rd Mar 2005 at 4:22 pm

Haha! WLW is now playing a game with me. Every time I try C*NT it'll be changed to CANT. I expect.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

3^rd Mar 2005 at 4:49 pm

i saw it

i laughed

both of these are rare

Colin

| 10,038 posts

4^th Mar 2005 at 7:35 am

Here's another attempt:
Uncle Norman
My Uncle Norman's tie is really straight and needs to be creased. I've started a group about it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my Crease Uncle Norman's Tie meeting.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

4^th Mar 2005 at 9:01 am

I aim to misbehave

I bet that'll be changed to Aunt Norma, wait and see!

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Rainbow

| 1,219 posts

4^th Mar 2005 at 9:22 am

Is the avatar upload thing broken?

Send one that is CANT, and subtly hint that you want the A changed...

Vel

| 23,203 posts

4^th Mar 2005 at 12:44 pm

Marry me?

I think it's too obvious. That's why you need a more subtle version like the first letter of each word in the second sentence, but don't capitalise. Or maybe change swearword. The see-you-next-Tuesday (won't get trhough firewall otherwise) is one some people find very offensive.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Colin

| 10,038 posts

4^th Mar 2005 at 5:35 pm

I will stop with C U N T now, I did it once to see if it would get through, once again to tease WLW and once again to tease WLW with one that's harder to edit.

Maybe someday I'll try another acrostic poem. But I'll have to use a different name, because WLW will check every letter of Vigilante Maelstrom from now on.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Colin

| 10,038 posts

7^th Mar 2005 at 4:58 pm

Quote: Paddy_Irishman_

I bet that'll be changed to Aunt Norma, wait and see!

Applause.

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Vel

| 23,203 posts

7^th Mar 2005 at 5:46 pm

Marry me?

I laughed at that.

Maybe Baz is WLW and messing with our heads.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

8^th Mar 2005 at 4:25 pm

I aim to misbehave

[quote=ER_ link=1099433069/105#118 date=1110217560]I laughed at that.

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Topper

| 6,773 posts

9^th Mar 2005 at 9:43 am

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Clouds

Clouds are great, there's no denying it. I literally
can't think of anything better than clouds. Maybe
'Peep Show', or clouds, but snow is definitely ONE of
the best things in the world. Far better than clouds
anyway. They're so overated.

Read into this what you will.

Topper

And...

Kylie

Once, Kylie said "I should be so lucky" Then she was
all like "I can't get you out of my head!" THEN, she
was all like "Slow!"

When she performed live in Paris, Scotland last year,
she sang all of these lines together by accident. It
sounded like this: "We're out of freakin' Vodka!".
Told you she was a Pub landlord.

Topper

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

9^th Mar 2005 at 12:08 pm

hehehe, nicely played Alex.

I just sent one too, although it's not really upto scratch. more of a ..'filler'.

I GOT A NEW GLASS JAR!

And I've filled my great jar with some really neato stuff, including several slices of dark, four solid cubes of air, a piece of God (the actual God from space) and a hairbrush that once belonged to Paul Daniels.

Speaking of Paul Daniels, I've seen his wife. And she ain't all that *snap snap snap*

Farmer Jack

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

10^th Mar 2005 at 11:08 am

I aim to misbehave

im after writing a letter about Horny Pads (sheeps version of front teeth) I doubt it'll be printed but, y'never know

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Starman

| 4,265 posts

10^th Mar 2005 at 5:16 pm

Between your experience and my hypomania, we can do anything

WLW, do you mind if us vegetable revolution folk (you know the ones, we have the egos)just take over zine? We want to convert it to our own little page with our own standards, i.e. the removal of Emma.

We are actually out in force at the moment, we seem to be getting printed quite a bit or maybe you are just scared of us.

Come on, it'll give you one less job to do and therefore the oppertunity to either have a fag break, get a cup of coffee or plot to overthrow the government of Burkino Faso.

Schizonumberthree

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts

11^th Mar 2005 at 3:38 pm

Hope is important.

"secret message poem".

Please may you hug me,
everytime i feel sad,
about allsorts of things,
crying lost alone,
everytime.

I am sorry it is really soppy.

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

11^th Mar 2005 at 3:59 pm

Soppy yes, but I like it

Eggplant

| 28 posts

11^th Mar 2005 at 4:07 pm

i've fuck all to say a lotta the time

here's my goddamn megazine letter:
dear WLW, god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god
Jesus
*deep breath*
god god god god god god god god god god god god god god

PS i wanna stick pins into Emma

MC Queer AKA Freakyhunny

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 9:47 am

I aim to misbehave

Dearest Emma...

I've been a fan of yours for a long time now. I've read all your letters. I've laughed, cried, thrown up a little...

People have been nasty to you recently, and I'm here to put a stop to it.

People of Zine, leave Emma alone! Just cos she annoys you all with her pointless letters, constant whinging about her own life, and delusions about celebrities, doesn't mean she's a bad person. It just means she's not a good Ziner.

Father Brian

I wasnt really expecting this one to be printed, just needed to vent my seething rage

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Eggplant

| 28 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 10:07 am

i've fuck all to say a lotta the time

this wont get printed because its A)anti emma and B)it's kinda crap innit?

Friends

contrary to polpular belief friends are not people who you jest and act jovial with. they are not people who you laugh and snort with.
they are people who annoy you and visa versa. they are incompatible to yourselves and the very sources of annoyance
that you eventually come to.....love
Emma the Li'l Angel

i'll leave you on that note

MC Queer

PS-there were a few spelling mistakes in the above letter: Fiends not friends and Loathe not love

Vel

| 23,203 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 11:06 am

Marry me?

An event

I walked off the station and looked up. There was only one path to choose, so I chose it. Wlaking slowly and deliberately through the tunnel I noticed something was wrong. Tunnels aren't usually white. Indeed, someone had done a rather effective paint job in order to make it appear more spacious. "Walk into the darkness," a rather poncey voice told me. A strange vice-versa thought struck me. But I did as I was told, and promptly fell over an obese business man. So, the moral is, never follow the advice of Laurence Llewellyn Bowen. But you already knew that.

Elden Ray

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 1:41 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Quote: Paddy_Irishman_

Dearest Emma...

I've been a fan of yours for a long time now. I've read all your letters. I've laughed, cried, thrown up a little...

People have been nasty to you recently, and I'm here to put a stop to it.

People of Zine, leave Emma alone! Just cos she annoys you all with her pointless letters, constant whinging about her own life, and delusions about celebrities, doesn't mean she's a bad person. It just means she's not a good Ziner.

Father Brian

I wasnt really expecting this one to be printed, just needed to vent my seething rage

Barry, that rules!

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Topper

| 6,773 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 2:25 pm

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Aye! Premier League

I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 3:38 pm

Quote: Paddy_Irishman_

Dearest Emma...

I've been a fan of yours for a long time now. I've read all your letters. I've laughed, cried, thrown up a little...

People have been nasty to you recently, and I'm here to put a stop to it.

People of Zine, leave Emma alone! Just cos she annoys you all with her pointless letters, constant whinging about her own life, and delusions about celebrities, doesn't mean she's a bad person. It just means she's not a good Ziner.

Father Brian

I wasnt really expecting this one to be printed, just needed to vent my seething rage

It'd better get printed

Great stuff

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 3:45 pm

I aim to misbehave

I sent it before the Horny Pad letter which was printed on friday, so I dont think it will be printed. I might send the same letter again using my Paddy irishman name, see if it'll get printed as im a regular

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

14^th Mar 2005 at 6:00 pm

Marry me?

I don't know. The one I sent on Wednesday last, that got printed on the Thursday, beat the one I sent in the week before that was printed THIS Sunday. I may have confused you there though.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

18^th Mar 2005 at 5:39 pm

UNDERWATER AQUARIUMS AND EXPIRED YOGHURTS

"Bring that hay in", I said to her. She thought I said "Kill all my livestock, set fire to my barn, call all my friends and family and tell them I have one fang bigger than the other". That's right, the secret's out! I'm not a Farmer - I'm a VAMPIRE!

Hehe, I'm not a vampire.

Farmer Jack

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 12:39 am

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

I'm glad this thread's flourishing.

(Ignore me please;I'm drunk.)

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

satansrubberduck

| 7,520 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 2:04 am

You don't do enough typos when you're drunk.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 10:06 am

Marry me?

Not everyone does G, not everyone does.

(Unlike you, plus, there's always the delete key

)

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 9:35 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

I forgot I typed that... :-[

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

19^th Mar 2005 at 9:58 pm

ha! you never see me typing on vr when im drunk. no sir. i've heard its annoying when you forget what you posted due to alcohol...

satansrubberduck

| 7,520 posts

20^th Mar 2005 at 9:21 pm

I've never forgotten anything due to alcohol.

HAH! AND YOU ALL CALL ME AN ALCOHOLIC AND I'M NOT, I'M REALLY NOT!!

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts

20^th Mar 2005 at 10:24 pm

apparently the big pink bastard is me

Yes. Alcoholics don't get drunk over one shandy.

Filled with existential dread and toast.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

26^th Mar 2005 at 11:37 am

Marry me?

My Friend Jenny's Theory

Well, to be healthy, you're meant to eat 5 portions of fruit a day, right? Chocolate grows on trees as coca beans... and a lot of other things besides, mean it's a fruit. So, 5 portions of chocolate a day. Sounds good?

But anyway, the main point of this was, you should always give credit to the person who's idea it was, isn't that right Lord Charles? And in a sideline note, Lightning Lady, I saltue thee!

Elden Ray

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts

26^th Mar 2005 at 8:05 pm

A SHORT STORY

Imagine you're in school, and there's a new boy in class. He is no ordinary boy. He is special, has immense capabilities and a body made from tanks.

At the speed of light, Superboy flies through the corridors, and as you turn to face him, you feel a sharp pain in your neck. You turned too fast, you idiot. He's not even real, whatever.

Farmer Jack

RAY MEARS

Ray Mears is a genius. Among five of the things he can do is turning a tree into a roast dinner, and carving a spoon out of a blade of grass.

I watched an episode of his survival programme the other day and he demonstrated how to capture fish in a jar made from jungle, while balancing on one toe and singing using his ear.

Farmer Jack

Vel

| 23,203 posts

30^th Mar 2005 at 9:18 am

Marry me?

I really, really like that Short Story.

Hope it gets printed.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Vel

| 23,203 posts

8^th Apr 2005 at 10:10 am

Marry me?

It was headed "Well, well, well..."

Narked? You bet I am.

Well, well, well....

I think I have decided my career path. Yes. I am going to become a hermit, live as far away from people as possible and feast on mushrooms. A simple life, but one with a purpose. Plus, it has the benefit of saving me from discussions of the calorie content of carrots. Alliteration and truth, a sad combination.
Elden Ray

Edited by Vel Apr 2005

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Colin

| 10,038 posts

8^th Apr 2005 at 1:35 pm

The other day...
The other day I was walking along with my bird in my hand, and I met my friend Farmer Jack. He had two birds in his bush. We swapped them.

Well, WLW, you know what they always say.

I hope you do, because I don't.

Vigilante Maelstrom

http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts

8^th Apr 2005 at 8:06 pm

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Quote: Suzy_Turquoise_Blue_

It was headed "Well, well, well..."

Narked? You bet I am.

Well, well, well....

I think I have decided my career path. Yes. I am going to become a hermit, live as far away from people as possible and feast on mushrooms. A simple life, but one with a purpose. Plus, it has the benefit of saving me from discussions of the calorie content of carrots. Alliteration and truth, a sad combination.
Elden Ray

I didn't get the new title...

Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

9^th Apr 2005 at 9:12 am

Marry me?

Because I title my email subject thing (below the address bar) with whatever first comes to mind, I was speaking to Chris at the time, so bingo. Never before has WLW used the email subject title. I mean, how many other random names, words, etc have I put in, nothing to do with the letter and WLW doesn't use them? No. I could list them all out.
Before, WLW has ALWAYS used the title within the actual email itself.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Vel

| 23,203 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 10:13 am

Marry me?

Excuse me, but where did I plagerise, Fran Manjensen? Please explain.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

boomalakka wee

| 338 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 12:10 pm

if i stand this way you can see my cape in full

don't worry alice, i got yo back...

short with fingers.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 2:03 pm

Marry me?

Oooh, glad to see you back Jen

Besides, plagerising...is it only classed if it is intentional? Because if you didn't know you were doing it, can you be held responsible for your actions? (I think maybe that was used on CSI. But whether it will hold up in the 'Zine court...)

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 2:20 pm

I aim to misbehave

I never noticed any plagurism either, normally I spot simpsons quotes first time.

Im staying out of it though, I like you both

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Vel

| 23,203 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 2:21 pm

Marry me?

I didn't even KNOW I'd done any bloody plagerism. The only Simpsons I've seen are those repeated, and repeated and repeated, frist on 2, now on C4. (Am I sick of them!)

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Vel

| 23,203 posts

11^th Apr 2005 at 4:37 pm

Marry me?

Ambiguous Snail

Wellies. I thought they were designed for the purpose of splashing in puddles, to stop your feet getting wet, mucky, etc. But apparently they're now a fashion statment too. Bizarre. Spotted, striped, you name it. They even do them with heels. Why? Who knows? Who cares?
Elden Ray

Yes. Note, the title doth have nothing to do with the subject. So WLW changes it.

Wife of Amy, Sex Goddess

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

Debs|OWA: o/

IGH: Wibble

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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