Mega-Zine: Unseen Footage and Alternative Takes

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts


13th Dec 2004 at 3:55 pm

Freshly Squeezed Cynic - apparently the big pink bastard is me

apparently the big pink bastard is me

 
Teletext are w*nkers. No, really. My letter had the guts ripped out of it. Here's what I actually said.

Which Craft?

Emma-The-Lil'-Angel claims her letter was about witchcraft. It might be nice in future if she actually mentions the things she claims she's talking about instead of mentioning completely different subjects. It makes everything so much easier.

And, of course, no-one knows each other's age on 'Zine. It just seemed logical to assume, the way she simpers over corporate pretty-boys so, that she was still of school age.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic .

Those b*st*rds.

Topper

| 6,773 posts


13th Dec 2004 at 4:02 pm

Topper - Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

 
I still laughed at the letter though Alan, despite the proper version being even better, so don't despair too much.

She really is hugely annoying, is Emma.
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts


13th Dec 2004 at 4:06 pm

Freshly Squeezed Cynic - apparently the big pink bastard is me

apparently the big pink bastard is me

 
I mean, it wasn't even cut to fit, like they used to do. That;s understandable - a line, a sentance is understandable. But to cut more than half of it? That's blatant censorship, and favouritism of that annoying little goit. It's not just her in my sights any more... Heh, they'll see.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts


13th Dec 2004 at 4:11 pm

ANBY v3.0 - Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

 
They'll see... we won't. That's the problem
Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts


14th Dec 2004 at 2:37 pm

Dinglebutt - I aim to misbehave

I aim to misbehave

 
I agree, if I want to hear about the guy from Maroon 5 ill go into my sisters room. I hate maroon 5

(The album I have at home was a present, honestly)

Besides, making stupid comments about famous people who you wouldnt have a chance with is what B*ckch*t is for
Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Topper

| 6,773 posts


14th Dec 2004 at 4:50 pm

Topper - Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

 
The Swell

The bass swelled and rose, consuming my ears, eating
up my bowells. I was pinned to the wall, guts
churning, hair blowing in the electronic wind.
People around me were purring, fighting their feet
and flexing their head.
I stood back and smiled. Home.

Topper
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Topper

| 6,773 posts


15th Dec 2004 at 10:19 pm

Topper - Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

 
Nice.
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts


20th Jan 2005 at 1:21 pm

Chris Kamara -

 
i just sent one that i dont think will get on too:


F.E.C.K

Don't be alarmed. It stands for Fires Entertain Citizens at Karaoke. A new scheme I just invented. You know when you're out and about and you end up somewhere where there's a Karaoke on? Well there's always one eejit that goes too far and should be set on fire.

So from now on, if you're ever in this situation, just shout 'FECK!' and throw your gas lighters. (20 for a pound where I live)

Farmer Jack

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts


21st Jan 2005 at 11:39 am

Chris Kamara -

 
now that i have two names, i could slowly take over zine. or not. probably not.

JM

| 8,289 posts


21st Jan 2005 at 1:25 pm

 
You'll have to build up your reputation again, Martin with another name

Turtle

| 3,404 posts


21st Jan 2005 at 5:08 pm

 
Stalking
I always thought people who lived in fantasy worlds are usually put in hospitals or given restraining orders at least. So, why oh why has Emma the Lil Angel not been put under sedation yet? I mean, if I was running around saying I was dating Gael Garcia Bernal, surely someone would shoot me.

Citizen Twiggy Garcia Bernal.

The pretty faces lie
So, I signed on to AOL to be greeted by the best pop up ever. Gael Garcia Bernal's face was on a pop up urging me to buy something or another. I figured this was a sign from God or AOL or even the God of AOL. However, by clicking on that precious face I stalled my computer and lost a fairly okish email to 'zine.So now you are stuck with Emma-esque drivel.
Citizen Twiggy

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


22nd Jan 2005 at 10:38 am

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
I thought of an idea for mega-zine.
It is sort of like the 4 yorkshiremen, i think.

idea...I could write a message called "My silly town", Like: My town is really horrible because there are 23 estate agencies, but there are only 2 music stores....

..and someone else replies. : Little Blue Fox, do you think your town is really bad? My town only has 1 music store. It is really old and smelly!

...and someone else replies: *name*, do you think your town is really bad? We have to build our own music shop and all the bricks are made from little broken bits of all our favourite CDs.

...and somone else replies: *name*....We have to build our own store, too, and also we have to wash our hands in acid because we do not have any water.

...Acid?! You are really lucky!

All the replies are just examples and ideas.
I am sorry it is really silly and muddled.
Does anyone want to do it, too?



Edited by Little Blue Fox. Jan 2005
It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts


22nd Jan 2005 at 3:34 pm

ANBY v3.0 - Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

 
Here's an Uber-Meet pimping one:


A HEADS-UP

[list]Citizens of London, lock up your houses and arm yourselves; Ziners past and present will be invading the capital on February 12th. From 1pm, marauders from as far away as Scotland and, er, Sussex, will be rioting at Liverpool Street, then destroying the capital, with devastatingly surreal effect.

Hold up, Saturday? That's your day off, WLW! come and stalk us!
[/list]



People should just send in versions of letters like this, only paraphrased slightly. It's an idea.
Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.

Rose

| 3,316 posts


22nd Jan 2005 at 3:45 pm

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
Quote: Little_Blue_Fox_
I thought of an idea for mega-zine.
It is sort of like the 4 yorkshiremen, i think.

idea...I could write a message called "My silly town", Like: My town is really horrible because there are 23 estate agencies, but there are only 2 music stores....

..and someone else replies. : Little Blue Fox, do you think your town is really bad? My town only has 1 music store. It is really old and smelly!

...and someone else replies: *name*, do you think your town is really bad? We have to build our own music shop and all the bricks are made from little broken bits of all our favourite CDs.

...and somone else replies: *name*....We have to build our own store, too, and also we have to wash our hands in acid because we do not have any water.

...Acid?! You are really lucky!

All the replies are just examples and ideas.
I am sorry it is really silly and muddled.
Does anyone want to do it, too?



yes yes yes!! i'd be well up for it! we must organise this
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

JM

| 8,289 posts


23rd Jan 2005 at 9:21 pm

 
sometimes it's a female. There are numerous ones these days.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts


23rd Jan 2005 at 10:13 pm

Freshly Squeezed Cynic - apparently the big pink bastard is me

apparently the big pink bastard is me

 
Quote: Little_Blue_Fox_
I thought of an idea for mega-zine.
It is sort of like the 4 yorkshiremen, i think.

idea...I could write a message called "My silly town", Like: My town is really horrible because there are 23 estate agencies, but there are only 2 music stores....

..and someone else replies. : Little Blue Fox, do you think your town is really bad? My town only has 1 music store. It is really old and smelly!

...and someone else replies: *name*, do you think your town is really bad? We have to build our own music shop and all the bricks are made from little broken bits of all our favourite CDs.

...and somone else replies: *name*....We have to build our own store, too, and also we have to wash our hands in acid because we do not have any water.

...Acid?! You are really lucky!

All the replies are just examples and ideas.
I am sorry it is really silly and muddled.
Does anyone want to do it, too?



I would also love to do something like this.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts


23rd Jan 2005 at 10:20 pm

Chris Kamara -

 
yeah, count mr farmer jack in also, mr blue fox.

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


24th Jan 2005 at 3:10 pm

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
Wow. Cool!

I will send a message to mega-zine really soon.

It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Rose

| 3,316 posts


27th Jan 2005 at 4:11 pm

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
so are we gonna do this? sort it out david, before i hijack it
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

Colin

| 10,038 posts


27th Jan 2005 at 6:56 pm

Colin -

 
I intended my letter that was printed today to be a full page (I wanted to see how much space I could waste)

So it would be like this:

COMEDY
People ask me what the secret of comedy is. Well, the secret of comedy is......................





Timing.
Vigilante Maelstrom

It's pretty crap anyway.
http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


29th Jan 2005 at 10:48 am

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
Quote: Bunny_
so are we gonna do this? sort it out david, before i hijack it


My message was printed on thursday! Yay!

Did anyone make a reply yet?


It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Rose

| 3,316 posts


29th Jan 2005 at 11:38 am

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
i bagsy first reply! we need to do it so no-one sends a similar stage-of-ridiculousness letter. maybe more chance of printing if they don't twig it's a set up. can you post your letter here? lack of tv at uni makes me reliant on these 'ere pages for my zineyness
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


29th Jan 2005 at 11:44 am

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
My letter... Oh my godness, my town is really horrible. There are lots and lots of banks and estate agencies, but there are only 2 music stores. they are really old and smell like chips. Blee!
It is really terrible and muddled.
From Little Blue Fox.
It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Rose

| 3,316 posts


29th Jan 2005 at 11:51 am

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
just sent this off. someone let me know if it's printed

To Little Blue Fox...

You think your town is bad. Here in our village we'd be lucky to have even one estate agent or bank. Our music store is in the form of a elderly chav selling
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

Topper

| 6,773 posts


29th Jan 2005 at 7:26 pm

Topper - Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary...

 
Mega-zine! I knew I'd forgotten something!
I hope some day, for some reason, David Duchovny is investigated by the FBI. Because that would make a great story.

http://www.myspace.com/toppercutter

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts


31st Jan 2005 at 9:05 pm

Freshly Squeezed Cynic - apparently the big pink bastard is me

apparently the big pink bastard is me

 
Since it'll never get printed, after 5 goes...

Editing.

WLW, I have to ask why, when faced with a letter, you have to rip the guts out of it to make it as sanitised, unfunny, and inoffensive as possible. Especially when it deals with a certain person who shall remain nameless.

I think shameless favouritism like this should be stamped out. Especially when the subject of said favouritism can barely string a sentence together without mentioning a vacuous celebrity.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


2nd Feb 2005 at 4:48 pm

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
[quote=Bunny_ link=1099433069/75#82 date=1106999514]just sent this off. someone let me know if it's printed

To Little Blue Fox...

You think your town is bad. Here in our village we'd be lucky to have even one estate agent or bank. Our music store is in the form of a elderly chav selling

Edited by Little Blue Fox. Feb 2005
It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

Rose

| 3,316 posts


2nd Feb 2005 at 6:09 pm

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
woooo for printage! i wish i had a television...
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

| 6,189 posts


2nd Feb 2005 at 7:55 pm

Freshly Squeezed Cynic - apparently the big pink bastard is me

apparently the big pink bastard is me

 

Dinglebutt

| 11,949 posts


3rd Feb 2005 at 1:54 pm

Dinglebutt - I aim to misbehave

I aim to misbehave

 
This is the letter of mine that they printed:

Secret Agent Man
I think I'd make a cool Private Detective.
I could wear a long coat and a hat, go into seedy bars to ask women for information, and if I have time, catch the bad guy.
I'll have a black and white office, with "Paddy Irishman P.I" on the door...
Wait a minute, Paddy Irishman P.I.? People will call me P.I.P.I.!
Nnnoooo!!!


Paddy Irishman

This is what I actually sent in:

Secret Agent Man
I think I'd make a cool Private Detective.
I could wear a long coat and a hat, go into seedy bars to pump women for information, and if I have time, catch the bad guy.
I'll have a black and white office, with "Paddy Irishman P.I" on the door...
Wait a minute, Paddy Irishman P.I.? People will call me P.I.P.I.!
Nnnoooo!!!


Paddy Irishman


Notice the difference? They took out the best bit!

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Joe Joe

| 152 posts


3rd Feb 2005 at 7:29 pm

How Dare You!

 
over inflation is a risky business and obviously they wouldnt want to end up with an epidemic of floating lady's
[http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/fonziesirishcousin/mean.jpg]
[url]www.feederfansite.com[/url]

Little Blue Fox.

| 4,256 posts


18th Feb 2005 at 4:46 pm

Little Blue Fox. - Hope is important.

Hope is important.

 
Creepy Story.

Anne: I am going to go to bed now. - Thank you for letting me stay here.
Otto: *telephone*Hi? Hans? I have found a new sacrifice forthe festival. Mwahahahaha-
Anne: - What is that noise?
Otto: Sorry, my TV is really loud. Mwahaha-
Anne: Hey!
Otto: Sorry. Haha - Oh...sigh.


It hurts too much not to try.
I will see you in another life when we are both cats.
Quod perditum est, in venietur.*Facebook.

JM

| 8,289 posts


21st Feb 2005 at 4:06 pm

 
There i was watching Countdown when one of the contestants came up with the word 'boning.' Smiley Whitely then asked Susie: 'Is boning allowed?'

To be honest, i was talking to Farmer Jack at the time about his new organic range on MSN so, i probably misheard.

Anyway, boning can get you 6 points, if you gamble.

Junior Minister


If this gets on, it will be a miricale.

Colin

| 10,038 posts


21st Feb 2005 at 4:51 pm

Colin -

 
My letter printed today had "Cooks Under Natural Terror", but WLW changed it to "Cooks Against Natural Terror".

I wonder why...

Now I'm not sure whether to post it here, in Risky Words or on the date page for today, so I just did this.

Everyone, try to get an acronym of a risky word in, WLW will miss it someday.
http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Colin

| 10,038 posts


21st Feb 2005 at 4:53 pm

Colin -

 
Note, that letter was crap anyway. Next time I'll try to make the letter actually funny. It's evident of what crap can get on 'Zine.
http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Gary

| 3,774 posts


21st Feb 2005 at 8:55 pm

Gary - I is not evil.

I is not evil.

 
Quote: VigiMael_
My letter printed today had "Cooks Under Natural Terror", but WLW changed it to "Cooks Against Natural Terror".


Hmm, is that just coincidence or a witty comment? That WLW changed the acronym to CANT I mean? Could be a hidden message expressing a deep desire to print said risky words, but also fear of job lossage.

Maybe.
[http://imagegen.last.fm/Apnet/recenttracks/3/se_osiris.gif]

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, only an "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
- Mitch Hedberg

Colin

| 10,038 posts


22nd Feb 2005 at 7:42 am

Colin -

 
I think that it was only printed as a big to me.
http://www.myspace.com/papertruth
[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/resources/uploads/gerrard.jpg]

Rose

| 3,316 posts


22nd Feb 2005 at 1:03 pm

A very attractive man. Not me. Him.

 
but in a london accent it's still the same word
Anton Chekhov - Smash Hits

ANBY v3.0

| 7,728 posts


23rd Feb 2005 at 2:36 pm

ANBY v3.0 - Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

Officially female according to Pamplemeese Decree.

 
Quote: Bunny_
but in a london accent it's still the same word


I was just thinking that
Rupert didn't win the Best Signature Award. He does not exist.


 
 
Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie
Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.
IGH: Just who was The Brigadier
ratammer: squeak
IGH: Wibble
Vel: *sigh*
Emma: Hi VR...
Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?
Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR
Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3
Claire: BOXSHOUT
Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.
Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.
Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.
Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May
Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.
Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

 

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