3^rd May 2024, 4:00 pm

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Just say 'non' to Crazy Frog

Quote of the Day III

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Jewbacca

| 6,793 posts

30^th Jun 2007 at 2:52 pm

We should link to the previous thread innit. Some good ones in there.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Organised Confusion

| 3,982 posts

1^st Jul 2007 at 12:25 am

Ru: Ooh look there's a bra, want to play football with it?

Jewbacca

| 6,793 posts

1^st Jul 2007 at 5:32 pm

Life on Mars:

'Arrest the landlord of The Trafford Arms'
'What for?'
'Think of something on the way'

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Jewbacca

| 6,793 posts

1^st Jul 2007 at 5:45 pm

'I'm not sure that's ethical''
'It's not, it's vodka'

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Kaneda

| 875 posts

2^nd Jul 2007 at 2:51 am

"twin ceramic rotar drives on each wheel"

Quote: Doctor_Benway

"Our political manifesto was get the people there, get em off their tits and give em a good night out." - Mani

yeah i was watchin that

She played such a sweet rusty trombone, she brought a tear to my eye.

Silvan

| 3,776 posts

2^nd Jul 2007 at 2:08 pm

Aurals Velupide!

Big-E: I'm doing the groin dance of power!

What can I say? I did it all for the Wookies.

LoonyPandora

| 17,916 posts

2^nd Jul 2007 at 8:34 pm

Daft Cow?

Scene: Estate Agents.

Me: Hi, I've got a property on the market with you guys <gives address>, you left a message on my voicemail to come and see you guys, I believe someone has put an offer in?
Girl: Really? <taps keyboard>, there are no notes on the system... give me a few seconds.....

<minute passes, with girl tapping away on keyboard. I sit down in the meantime>

Girl: Oh hi there, how can I help?
Me: <looks confused>
Girl: Oh... umm, yeah, it was just getting some feedback after viewing the property, and wondering if you'd like to put an offer in?
Me: <looks even more confused>... I'm the vendor...
Girl: OH, riiight. Hmm, there are no notes on the system as to why we would have left you a message...

Me: Well, I know one of the guys who viewed has put an offer in, could you just check that for me?

Girl: Oh yes! The asking price has been met, I take it you want to accept the offer?

It worries me slightly...

LoonyPandora

| 17,916 posts

2^nd Jul 2007 at 9:41 pm

Daft Cow?

I'm sure you couldn't be nearly as incompetent as these people are...

When I handed them the keys to do some viewings last week, I got worried because they didn't seem to have a clue who I was. I made them write down who I was before I left, she was just gonna bung them in her drawer... same girl...

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts

3^rd Jul 2007 at 11:06 pm

after a while with customers you learn there smoking habbits and can pre-empt what they want by asking them how many. This led to this:

Customer (pre-empting the pre-empt): 48
Me: you sure you don't want 72?
Customer: y'know 72 is my husbands favourite number.
Me: Really? I would've thought it would've been at least three lower.

The cashier next to me got that one long before the customer did...

A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!
Quote:

You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Mark Brogan

| 7,648 posts

3^rd Jul 2007 at 11:40 pm

My dad: So I went down and I forcibly did her

out of context this sounds so so bad.

Snazzberry

| 2,526 posts

4^th Jul 2007 at 3:16 am

i r lion. i r bite you.

Martin says:
i'd make you the queen of the company
Martin says:
and you could sit and eat oreos and say things like 'why, hello'

not necessarily hilarious out of context but definitely awesome.

[quote author=the doc link=1161728632/360#370 date=1193262367]If i wanna scratch me balls i use a hedgehog like everyone else.[/quote]

Jewbacca

| 6,793 posts

5^th Jul 2007 at 8:38 am

Martin: Alan Davies is great and knows everything. Despite his consistent low scores on QI.
George: Indeed he does.
George: He proved his knowledge with the excellent series of documentaries known collectively as the Jonathan Creek mysteries.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

5^th Jul 2007 at 9:11 am

River Phoenix

Quote: James

I heard this somewhere but I can't remember where:

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gives her one.

(i heard that on Lenny Henry's programme.)

[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts

5^th Jul 2007 at 9:49 pm

Grog me.

Posh fellow on the bus speaking on his phone: "Can you ask Jeeves to send the car around."

There is a real butler person called Jeeves!!!!! And he gets asked things!!!!!

If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Jewbacca

| 6,793 posts

6^th Jul 2007 at 9:44 pm

Quote: moon_child

'Zine (pronounced rhyming with nine)

Oh God that's just wrong!

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts

8^th Jul 2007 at 7:16 pm

this from a random MSN convo: "My physical bodies f*cked, my mental states f*cked, the only thing that's not f*cked is my penis, and that needs a good f*cking."

A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!
Quote:

You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Snazzberry

| 2,526 posts

8^th Jul 2007 at 7:22 pm

i r lion. i r bite you.

Quote: Doctor_Benway

Amie: "This is bizarre, but you have a nicely shaped head. It's all proportionate and stuff." before going on to say "It's not the standard cookie cutter 'round' or whatever but it's good."

well am i not right?!

[quote author=the doc link=1161728632/360#370 date=1193262367]If i wanna scratch me balls i use a hedgehog like everyone else.[/quote]

Silvan

| 3,776 posts

10^th Jul 2007 at 11:27 am

Aurals Velupide!

Quote: Marton

Quote: moon_child
'Zine (pronounced rhyming with nine)

Oh God that's just wrong!

No, it's not

What can I say? I did it all for the Wookies.

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts

11^th Jul 2007 at 11:39 am

River Phoenix

Quote: moon_child

Yes it is

(i agree with Deb.)

Silvan

| 3,776 posts

11^th Jul 2007 at 12:54 pm

Aurals Velupide!

Quote: Butterfly

Quote: moon_child
Yes it is

(i agree with Deb.)

But 'zeen' is such a horrible pronunciation, it actually makes me cringe inwardly. I know it should be pronounced like that, as in magazine, but I will always say it to rhyme with nine.

What can I say? I did it all for the Wookies.

Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

IGH: Just who was The Brigadier

ratammer: squeak

Debs|OWA: o/

IGH: Wibble

Vel: *sigh*

Emma: Hi VR...

Princess Psycho: Hi I am back in the UK so how are everyone been keeping. Has Fluffy had that little accident yet?

Claire: SHOUTBOX OF VRRRRRR

Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!

Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3

Claire: BOXSHOUT

Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.

Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.

Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.

Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May

Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.

Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

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