I hate my life.

I hate my life.

Not the kind of hate where you get really angry. No. I don't have the energy to be angry. I just hate my life, full stop.

What's the point in being angry about it? That gets you nowhere. In fact, nothing gets you anywhere, ever.

Ordinarily, I would mumble this to myself as I lay in bed staring at the blackness of night. However, you are here, and so am I.

I have no future at the moment. Not in education, employment, relationship, I can even see some of my long term friendships coming to a closure rather soon.

I'm not after sympathy. Preferably, a solution. Preferably even....you can all join me in misery. After all....misery loves company, and you're welcome at the home of the blues.

Some of you have known love, some haven't. Some have known disconnection from society and reality, some haven't. Some of you, won't really understand what I mean, but think you do.

What fun.

Um, so yes. I do hate my life. I have for a while now, for more than just a while. I don't actively talk to even my closest of friends about it, because it's awkward and unresolvable.

One of the problems, is that I don't care enough about certain things. For example, I bet you all care about getting a job. Well sure, I want happiness, worldly goods, but....a job? The whole premise of a job, is something you don't enjoy doing.

I understand....that people do something they don't enjoy, because it is offset by something they enjoy far more. For example, continuing to live.

But, beyond biologically living, are you really living, spending most of your life doing something you don't enjoy, surrounded by people you don't like?

I worked in an office for a year, not much granted, but that's how I feel about it. Don't tell me that your experience is different. If you had a nice time working with your fellow man, then YOU'RE the person I didn't like at that office. The sort of person who gets along with everyone because they're all on the same wavelength.

Girls into cosmetics, guys into cars.

Not me.

This goes under rants, I think. But...it's more than just a rant. You, my lovely stranger, know a little about me, that some of my best friends do not.

Now, go have a cup of tea and watch the news, or...whatever.

Just to throw a spanner in the works.

Its not always as simple as 'finding a job you like'

Myself for example, I don't like settling in one role or job for more than a couple of years, I get bored easily so look to move onto the next big thing. Not bad if you are in a firm where you can move from role to role. However, thats a luxury that isn't always available.

Hell, its only in the last two weeks I got myself into a situation where I may be able to do just that. Prior to this I've jumped from role to role, job to job, career to career.

Even before I start at Zen I'm already planning ahead and looking for the next shift in employer.

This said.. I'm actually happier doing this, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me learning and fresh.. You just need to find an approach and a line of short term/long term work that can hold your attention for a while.. Or, if you can't do that, fall in with people who you get on with. Even in the mind numbing BT call centre job I had, I was kept sane by my workmates who were, luckily, a decent bunch.

Quote: Tuco, Sept 2009

Quote: Obinice, Aug 2009

I hate my life.

Sure I wish I could bum around w*nking 7 times a day, trying for the record of 8 and watching sh*t telly

Not as much fun as you think it would be.

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Just to throw a spanner in the works.

Its not always as simple as 'finding a job you like'

Myself for example, I don't like settling in one role or job for more than a couple of years, I get bored easily so look to move onto the next big thing. Not bad if you are in a firm where you can move from role to role. However, thats a luxury that isn't always available.

Hell, its only in the last two weeks I got myself into a situation where I may be able to do just that. Prior to this I've jumped from role to role, job to job, career to career.

Even before I start at Zen I'm already planning ahead and looking for the next shift in employer.

This said.. I'm actually happier doing this, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me learning and fresh.. You just need to find an approach and a line of short term/long term work that can hold your attention for a while.. Or, if you can't do that, fall in with people who you get on with. Even in the mind numbing BT call centre job I had, I was kept sane by my workmates who were, luckily, a decent bunch.

Correct. But unless you're willing to try you really are f*cked, and you sir are a tryer and you have now progressed, you're life reminds me of the first level of Altered Beast, filled with the undead and a giant head shooting tree monster at the end.

Quote: Claire, Sept 2009

Hell, you don't even need to get off your a*se these days.

Tell me how please.
I've been very much off my a*se for the past 2 months and not so much as an interview.

I concur on the trying front though.
I'm having a terrible time at the minute but even whinging feels better when you know you're being proactive.

I got rejected by Asda. They actually wrote me a letter telling me they didn't want me

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

All I want to say is that you SHOULD be angry.

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration.

What are you waiting for exactly? No-one is going to arrive at your door and hand you a billion squid. You're right that some people spend their whole lives making money, and not enjoying their lives. But on the other hand you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there, I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

He isn't angry. At. All. He's apathetic.

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

Quote: Tuco, Sept 2009

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

All I want to say is that you SHOULD be angry.

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration.

What are you waiting for exactly? No-one is going to arrive at your door and hand you a billion squid. You're right that some people spend their whole lives making money, and not enjoying their lives. But on the other hand you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there, I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

He isn't angry. At. All. He's apathetic.

...Yeah. That was the point I was trying to make? Apathy sucks.

I'm indifferent to it

YOU have to make the effort. That is the solution. If you stare at the walls saying how much you hate life then you aren't doing anything constructive. If you hate it, change it. Find out what your good qualities are, and use them. (...) You get one life and what's the point in it if you don't do what YOU want to do?

You can say "Ohhh, what's the point in work? It makes me miserable" but it doesn't have to. There are jobs which you can enjoy, but you're the one who has to decide what you want to do with your life. Nobody else can do it for you. If you don't like offices, cross it off your list.

If you can't find anyone you really get along with, I hate to say it but you have a problem, because you're surrounded by about 20 here at least. It's you that has to make the effort. If you don't, don't whine about it.

Really think about what you'd do in your wildest dreams and GO FOR IT.

Angry is good. You should be f*cking p*ssed off that you currently have a life that you hate. And because you are so p*ssed off you should do everything you can think of to change it. And everything anyone else thinks of for that matter, if you are currently lacking inspiration. (...) you need money to stay alive and to be able to do those things you enjoy. And there are good jobs out there,

I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

Oh and how can belittle people who enjoy their work?

I think this guy's already disappeared from VR again

if you don't want to work, then don't.

Quote: Tuco, Sept 2009

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Just to throw a spanner in the works.

Its not always as simple as 'finding a job you like'

Myself for example, I don't like settling in one role or job for more than a couple of years, I get bored easily so look to move onto the next big thing. Not bad if you are in a firm where you can move from role to role. However, thats a luxury that isn't always available.

Hell, its only in the last two weeks I got myself into a situation where I may be able to do just that. Prior to this I've jumped from role to role, job to job, career to career.

Even before I start at Zen I'm already planning ahead and looking for the next shift in employer.

This said.. I'm actually happier doing this, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me learning and fresh.. You just need to find an approach and a line of short term/long term work that can hold your attention for a while.. Or, if you can't do that, fall in with people who you get on with. Even in the mind numbing BT call centre job I had, I was kept sane by my workmates who were, luckily, a decent bunch.

Correct. But unless you're willing to try you really are f*cked, and you sir are a tryer and you have now progressed, you're life reminds me of the first level of Altered Beast, filled with the undead and a giant head shooting tree monster at the end.

You know whats weird? I actually encountered a giant head shooting tree monster the other week... Nice chap, bit odd, mind... Might invite him over at some point.

You are correct however, I am very trying.

I can only fit so much in at anyone time and only do so much with myself...

Quote: Claire, Sept 2009

I think this guy's already disappeared from VR again

You said that only a few days after I made my first post Have patience, I used to visit forums every single day when I was 15, but I've relaxed a bit nowadays.

Quote: Das Buroski, Sept 2009

Quote: Obinice, Sept 2009

Quote: Jingle, Sept 2009

I'm not sure where you got the whole 'all jobs are sh*t' idea from.

On this small point, as I explained above, jobs are work and work is never fun.

Is the wrong answer. Some work can be, it just depends on what you consider to be fun - see my point about my job, my work in IT. Its something I enjoy and find interesting and dare I say, often fun, because its where my interests lie. We're a vast and complex society, their is pretty much a career in every area imaginable, you just need to look for it or to create it if it doesn't exist. You'd be surprised just how easy it is to do.

When I had a job, for about a year, I hated it. It wasn't just because I didn't enjoy what I was doing. The job itself wasn't exactly the problem.

The problem was well...a few things. Firstly, they sat me in a room with 6 other people I had nothing in common with. Even if I had had something in common with them, I still don't like working around other people, unless they are long time close friends (of which I have very few, like most people). If I want to do some work, I go to my room where I can be on my own. It makes me uncomfortable to do stuff like that around other people.

I'm uncomfortable around a great many people. Checkout people, strangers on the phone, bus drivers, any situation where I have to interact with people outside my normal circle of family and friends really. Some interactions upset me more than others, possibly because some of them hold more responsibility than others (e.g if I muck up my interaction with the bus driver, he'll kick me off the bus and I won't get to where I'm going on time, etc). I'll mention responsibility in a moment.

The telephone. I had a telephone at my desk. For the most part, I didn't have to use it. Occasionally however, I would have to pick the phone up for someone else, or make a call myself. I hated this. I lost sleep over it. Whenever I'm on the phone, unless I'm completely comfortable around whoever's in the room with me (this does not include my parents even) I HAVE to leave the room and be on my own while I'm on the phone.

So imagine me being chained to a desk whilst on the phone, not only having to handle whatever is going on through the phone line to someone else, but also having to take ontop of that, the fact that I'm surrounded by other people who can all hear exactly what I'm saying, and see exactly what I'm doing. NIGHTMARE.

Also, there was the responsibility. I don't mind having responsibility in some areas. Basically, it's like being needed. Someone needs you, you're responsible for something (if you see what I mean?). If a friend asks me to do something, or look after something, or whatever, that's okay. The reason being, that if I mess up, while it may be bad to some degree, it's not as bad as messing up something you have responsibility in in work.

If you mess up in work, they fire you. You loose your income, you could end up homeless. Every day you go into work knowing that you could do something, or a series of things over time, that could cost you your life. That's the extreme, but it's still perfectly possible. In the very least, it could easilly cost you your job, which can cause all sorts of problems in the short term, and very possibly the long term too.

So even if I were doing something I might otherwise enjoy doing (fixing computers and getting paid for it, that sounds sweet to me), the other factors make it wildly not worth it. I spent a year stressed, loosing sleep, and having a generally crappy time in work, and then worrying about work while I was at home, for the reasons I've listed above. Not all the time sure, I went out once a week with two or three of my friends to relieve my stress. It worked. Somehow, the moment I stepped into that place I was happy again, But then the next day...well you can guess.

The only way I can see myself being happy in work, is if I get my own room to myself, and no matter how many times I fail, I won't get sacked. That's obviously never going to happen lol

So I know of course I'll have to get a job, I'm looking for one now though I doubt I'll find one any time soon. But perhaps now you can see why I'm sure that no matter what job it is, I won't enjoy it, I'll loose sleep, I'll be stressed, I won't be happy at all.

People have told me things like "you'll get used to it", I can almost hear you typing those words now, lol. It's said most especially when it comes to the telephone thing. But I was there for a year, and I never got used to it, which is a shame I guess, life would have been easier if I had.

Quote: Claire, Sept 2009

I'm so f*cking confused.

The lightswitch again?