Goodbye Old Life!

Thats right, F*CK THIS THING WHICH I CALL MY LIFE! F*CK IT TO HELL!

It's over. It's done. I need a new life. I need to do a lot of things and I'm never going to be able to do it if I don't just clear my head and change. I've been thinking about it. I've been talking about it. But I still haven't made a single change to my life which will benefit me in the long run. Maybe its because I'm lazy. Maybe its because I'm scared. Whatever. Don't give a flying f*ck any more. I have to do it. I have to change. I have to change now. Right now.

Step 1: Start back at the gym.

Probably the easiest step. I liked the gym, but college stopped me in my tracks once I got going. Then depression and unemployment stopped me after college. Then long hours at work stopped me. But I will always have work. I'll be working for about the next 40 years. I've put on about another 2 stone since I was last at the gym, and I was already way too heavy then. F*ck it. I'm buying a year membership tomorrow and going tomorrow, saturday and sunday. Then any evening I get home early enough from work, I'm going then too.


Step 2: Dentist

Ok, my teeth are sh*t. I try to take as best care as I can nowadays, but I rarely ever used to. Coupled with the amount of Coke and Lucozade I drink, I have to get my teeth fixed. I'm extremely self-concious about my smile, and if I can make it even 50% better than it is now, I'll have more confidence for other things. I have a load of days holidays at work still to take and pretty much nothing else to use them for, so once a month I'm going to the dentists until its right.


Step 3: Alcohol

How am I supposed to meet someone if I never go out? The thing I probably want most right now is a girlfriend. Not to be going out, meeting a girl, having sex, then going our seperate ways (not that that ever happens to me anyway, but is typical of most Irish mens ambitions), I want a girlfriend. I want to walk down the street and hold hands with someone. I hear about other lads treating their girlfriends like sh*t. What the f*ck? I'm not saying I'd be the best boyfriend ever, but I'd always try to be, and I'd never stop trying. I used to think things like "Its always the d*ckheads who get the girls". I was wrong. I never give girls the chance to be with me. I rarely go out. I make excuses all the time. I hate drinking. I like going out with the lads, but hate when other people then come over because I just crawl into my own head and barely say anything.

And I've tried. I've tried so many times. Theres a group of girls we've gone out with a few times cos they're friends with one of the lads, and I've tried making conversation, but all I ever get is one word answers. And when I do start making headway, I run out of things to say. I just stop talking and cannot think. My solution? Alcohol! F*ck it! A necessary evil. I've almost completely given up alcohol so many times, but I think its what I need until I get over my own fears.


Step 4: Learn to look after myself

And I think the only way I'll be able to do this is to move out of home. Once I'm finished paying my parents back the money I owe them, I'm going to start looking for a place closer to work. I can't cook. I can't wash clothes. I can't iron. I can't do anything. I do whatever I'm told to do around the house, but I need to be able to fend for myself. I want to learn to cook, that is something I really want to be able to do. I want to experiment with new foods and stuff. But I'm home late from work most evenings, and dinners there on the table cos Mam has to cook for Dad and my sister, nephew and sister boyfriend. And I don't want to ask my mother to teach me to cook because a) I'll get nothing but stupid comments directed at me whenever anyone else is around, b) she's a terrible cook and I hate most of her food, and c) like I said, I want to do different things. I want to eat stuff I've never had. Moving out will also help me with the talking to new people thing.




Okay, so looking back over those steps, I'm not going to be able to change instantly. I know I wont. But I think if I have all these written down where I can look at them occasionally, it'll give me a boot up the hole and kickstart me if I fall back into old habits.

Yes, sorry, I meant to include that in Step 4. Cut down on SH*TE!! F*ck Lucozade. The hell with Subway. Bye bye bubbly Aero bars! Take a hike Twister ice-creams!

Trying to lose weight in the gym and continuing to eat all that sh*te is p*ssing into the wind. I'll have the occasional Lucozade if I'm out but not drinking. No more snacks when I stop for petrol.

Quote: Paddy_Irishman

And I've tried. I've tried so many times. Theres a group of girls we've gone out with a few times cos they're friends with one of the lads, and I've tried making conversation, but all I ever get is one word answers. And when I do start making headway, I run out of things to say. I just stop talking and cannot think.

One of those girls could be sat at home right now, kicking herself for running out of things to say to you. At least you don't have to break the ice with these girls. Ask some open ended questions. Ones which can't be stone-walled. Even if that means thinking up a few before you go out, it's all good. If it doesn't always come naturally and there's nothing wrong with being prepared. Simple questions like why do you look so happy, are a good place to start.

Also, what kind of recipes would you like try/learn?

Quote: Dissimulation

Also, what kind of recipes would you like try/learn?

Well thats the thing, I need to learn how to actually cook first. I have no idea how to tell when pasta is cooked, or how to properly prepare meat. I can do very basic stuff, but I'd love to know how to do a variety of stuff.

I'd love to be able to make a curry though.

Quote: Wierd_Welshgirl

Quote: Paddy_Irishman

Quote: Dissimulation

Also, what kind of recipes would you like try/learn?

Well thats the thing, I need to learn how to actually cook first. I have no idea how to tell when pasta is cooked, or how to properly prepare meat. I can do very basic stuff, but I'd love to know how to do a variety of stuff.

I'd love to be able to make a curry though.

Most things are cooked when you'd be happy to eat them. Pasta usually has really good guidelines on the packet, but if in doubt, get a fork, get some out the pan, eat it and see.

In terms of other recipes, BBC Good Food has some good recipes, but if you're a bit unsure about cooking you could try the video recipes on video jug so you can see what things are supposed to look like at each stage and know what to do.

Yeah there was another video site that I saw on Dragons Den which taught me how to make scrambled eggs (told you I could only cook basic things). But like I said, the problem is that in this house I never need to cook. Dinner is provided 7 days a week

I was going to reply saying that we have dinner early on weekends, Dad wouldn't like anything I cook etc etc, then I realised I'm only making excuses. F*ck it, thats the old me.

I might make something for myself at the weekend. Not dinner, maybe just tea, but something more adventurous than scrambled eggs. Have to learn to walk before I can saute (whatever the hell that means)

I read that as 'learn to walk before I can salute'. I was confused.

Good on you though, change we need, yes we can, etc.

Quote: lmc

Good luck Basil.

I think the most important bit will be moving out.
People underestimate the difference independence can have on your personality.

Exactly. I think one of my biggest problems was I was never a student. Sure, I went to college. A whole 5 years of it. But I lived at home. I worked weekends. I rarely went out. Its like what I said in Marks thread about what advice would you give a young you if you could go back, If I'd moved up to college, I would have learned more. But not more about my course or get higher grades, I would have learned to be more social. Its a vital part of education that I'm missing. I would have learned to cook and look after myself. Its one of the things I need to kickstart everything else.

Thanks for all the advice and well wishes guys.

Yeah thats what I meant, if I lived near college I'd be living with other people, which is what I should have done. But once I'm debt free I'll move closer to work and have almost the same experience (probably less alcohol and house parties)

i can't think of any help or advice. But i hope it goes well, anyroad.

I do think the best way to learn how to handle yourself is to throw yourself in at the deep end and live without your parents. You don't have any choice about learning how to do all that stuff, because if you don't youre screwed, so you have to. Definitely the best thing I ever did.

Quote: Paddy_Irishman

Quote: pablomarmite

I do think the best way to learn how to handle yourself is to throw yourself in at the deep end and live without your parents.  You don't have any choice about learning how to do all that stuff, because if you don't youre screwed, so you have to.  Definitely the best thing I ever did.

Agreed. Worst part is that I still owe my folks money. I give them around a quarter of my paycheck each month, so until I've paid them off, I won't be able to afford to move out. I don't even know how much I owe them because my father takes some of the money I give him as payment for broadband (because I'm the one who had it installed), a bit for rent and any work he does to my car. So I wouldn't be able to afford rent and bills at another place

Up it if you can. Push to give them 1/3 and any spare that you may have.

It's really admirable that you want to take these steps to change your life and your attitude towards women is lovely and refreshing It might seem like women go for all the idiots but believe me, once you've met enough idiots, a girl is more than ready to be treated as she deserves to be (been there, done that...!!).

But don't feel you need to rely on alcohol. I know that it can give people more confidence, but anyone worth knowing will like you for who you are... Plus, too much alcohol can turn people into idiots! Try asking girls more open ended questions that require more than one word answers, like "What did you do today?" as opposed to "Did you have a good day?". Asking questions is a good way to go- Any girl likes to feel like someone is showing interest in them and their life.

Anyway, good luck with everything! I hope it all works out

Sarah xx

Lemmy from Motorhead's slept with over 1200 women. And he was never a good looking man. That's by sheer charisma alone.  You're impressed, Mark, aren't you? Honestly, now?






And Barry, you're the man. You set your mind to something, you can acheive anything. You've got the strength to do it. And you will do it.

He could pull that off. By sheer being Lemmy, he can get away with so much more than any mortal man ever could.

Quote: Flapper

And the sex would be fantastic!

I'll be the judge of that. Well, me, Simon Cowell and the gay guy from Strictly Come Dancing (which one? bwahahaha)

Made an omelette as part of the cooking thing. Wasn't overly fantastic but it'll probably end up being like when I learned to make scrambled eggs, after a few tries they end up being fantastic.

Need a bigger non-stick frying pan though.

Next on my list to learn to cook, I had an idea today of poached eggs on toasted wholemeal pita bread, but I have to learn to make poached eggs first.

Yup. But its mostly because they're lovely. Also they don't require a lot of ingredients. Mainly just eggs. Maybe some toast too, but the majority of ingredients of eggs are eggs

Killing the animals isn't much fun.

you can learn how to do absolutely anything off the internet. Youtube is great for it- I can do the perfect steaks from that.

oh, and if you ever feel like you want to experiment more whilst cooking- get drunk.

Yeah, some f it will taste awful, and you will find yourself going 'this would taste better with some BEER IN IT!' but you learn from your mistakes, and sometimes, you make pleasent surprises too.

Not that you drink much it seems, but... well, it works for me!

Quote: The_Educatedwombat

you can learn how to do absolutely anything off the internet. Youtube is great for it- I can do the perfect steaks from that.

oh, and if you ever feel like you want to experiment more whilst cooking- get drunk.

Yeah, some f it will taste awful, and you will find yourself going 'this would taste better with some BEER IN IT!' but you learn from your mistakes, and sometimes, you make pleasent surprises too.

Not that you drink much it seems, but... well, it works for me!

I love the image of you getting smashed in your kitchen covered in flour

Baz, for poaching eggs try the cling-film method on this page, perfecto.

I made an omelette for the first time EVER the other day and it was bloody perfect, so pleased with myself that day

How have they managed to make poaching eggs complicated? Ramakins? Who even owns ramakins?
All I do is boil the water, stir it so it's moving like a whirlpool and plop the eggs in.
They take a couple of second then you get it our with a spoon. They don't look as good as that like.

Getting your teeth fixed is definitley a good move. Improved my confidence loads. You might find you are too old for braces on the NHS now like i was. I paid for the ones that are the same colour as your teeth and it was worth it. Got to be prepared to put in the effort to clean them properly when you have a brace and then wear the retainers, if you need them, afterwards.

Plus I'm in Ireland, so NHS is not an option.

The teeth thing is actually fillings I need on a few of my front teeth, due to years of coke and lucozade bingeing. No amount of brushing my teeth could withstand that, even though I never used to brush regularly when I was younger anyway

I was gonna say, if you're a meat novice you should try Quorn.
It cooks from frozen, doesn't go dodgy and you can't get ill from not cooking it right. At first I thought it seemed expensive, but then I figure the only meat I can get for that price is low grade and sh*tty anyway.

It's not as good on it's own, but if you're putting it in sauce or something it's exactly the same. Sometimes even better because it has a really nice texture.

And if you're hung up on the whole 'meat alternative' thing then just think of it as a food in its own right. It's not just for vegitarians.