New Year's Eve

Quite simply, the bain of my life. As Nick Hancock put it on some panel show or other, it's "enforced fun".

Obviously, staying in and watching the telly is a complete no-no unless you're married, in a stable relationship or old. No, being a single, young male I'm duty bound to join in the particularly odious willy waving contest that is planning a NYE celebration. Whether it's an intimate get together with close friends, a simple, no nonsense house party or night on the lash or you're going for the full on uber-cool deluxe clubbing experience, the important thing is not to actually enjoy yourself but to give the impression that you're having the best time imaginable and make sure that everyone else around you before, during and after the event knows just how much cooler you and your mates are than everyone else and just how much of a better time you're having than them.

Ironically, giving the impression of enjoyment is the easy part. Getting dressed up, loading yourself up with booze and drugs, spending a sh*tload of cash you haven't got and generally trundling around shouting loudly tends to suffice, wherever you are on NYE. It's the nagging realization at the pit of your stomach that all of it is utterly futile that's the hard part.

Whatever you do, you can't win. If you go for the low-key, "NYE's just another night approach" your mates who've gone to Fabric will inevitably end up going back to the Colombian women's Beach Volleyball team's hotel while you wake up with a horrible hangover, a black eye from where you had a fight with your best mate after getting off with his bird or sister (or something equally tedious) and only the prospect of watching your team draw 0-0 in arctic conditions in the good old New Year's Day match.

If you do decide to hit the Big Smoke however, you'll find yourself paying £50 for the privelige of being surrounded by pretentious tw*ts who don't really know anything about the music and are only here to look cool at the "less defined cultural happenings" the venue is planning to appeal to its target Hoxtonite audience. You'll also be plagued by the sneaking suspicion that you and your mates are actually no better yourselves. You'll probably wind up doing far too many drugs to compensate and drinking too much because "come on, it's New Year's Eve" and wind up on the couch at your mate's flat at 8am chatting, purely for the sake of it, with his boring mate from uni about the concept of consensus reality and its portrayal in The Matrix (or something equally pretentious) all the while hating yourself but not wanting to seem rude. And meanwhile, back home? That rave that your idiot mate was planning, turns out, for once, to be awesome, 1,000 people turn out and it has to be broken up by riot police at 10 in the morning and, of course, the owner of the site's p*ssed off now and the police are wise to it so it'll never happen again. It'll be one of those you unmissable nights but, still you had a good time in London, right?

And yes, I know I shouldn't take it so seriously but this is me we're talking about, and I'm a neurotic fool and there's just too much pressure on the whole thing.

Do a Ross Noble! spend the evening building up for a massive dump, then go the the toilet just before midnight so you can hear the cheers at the perfect moment.

New Year's is usually a pretty b*ll*cks affair, by all accounts. I'm with my family and the wife-to-be this year though, so it promises to be quite good. Probably just get a bit drunk, but I won't complain at that.

Whilst doing my ironing and preparing my lunch for the next day

One of these days she's gonna read what I post, and I'm going to get absolutely bollocked. The Irish eyes won't be smiling.

And if that fails, I'll stand my ground and swear a bit, and then point at either the ironing pile, the sink full of dishes, or the front lawn.

Do you have plans for New Year yourself, Dan, while we're here? Drinking, I'd guess, and more specifically, alcohol.

Pscht. New Year. New Year.

Hogmanay, bitches!

I normally sit in front of Goodfellas with a bottle of Jack on New Year's Eve. Going out is for losers

Not sure yet. Might try and take the opportunity to meet up with some of the BGS crew, I haven't seen half of them in four years. Most likely I'll be sat in my parents' front room with various alcoholic substances, though.

I'm working then going out with Fee in Manchester, I think!

Quote: Heffalump

I'll be at home cos all my friends are doing "couples" stuff. fun times ahead!  

Yeah, thats not as sad as coming to Mosh by yourself... I'm offering you like 5 free tickets, you must be able to find one spare mate...

I shall be getting paid £200 to play records and drink myself into excess on knock-off champagne. It's gonna be great

Quote: Hans_Gruber

And if that fails, I'll stand my ground and swear a bit, and then point at either the ironing pile, the sink full of dishes, or the front lawn.

is that to let sarah know which one youre gonna do first?

Quote: Dr_Harold_Shipman

Quote: Heffalump

I'll be at home cos all my friends are doing "couples" stuff. fun times ahead!

Yeah, thats not as sad as coming to Mosh by yourself... I'm offering you like 5 free tickets, you must be able to find one spare mate...

I shall be getting paid £200 to play records and drink myself into excess on knock-off champagne. It's gonna be great

I shall ask my ONE single friend. But I'm quite sure she'll be doing stuff with Uni people / and or staying in Italy. And you know I don't do going clubs on my own. It isn't right.

Nine pounds? F*cking hell.

Quote: Elusive_Moose

Who the hell does clubs on there own?? That's just wrong.......

If you can handle the initial nerviness it's actually quite liberating, but it is a bit rubbish on an occasion like New Years - much better with friends generally. I like the flexibility to go talk (or indeed flirt, hehe) to whoever I want without feeling bad about leaving anyone on their own.

We cant have a new years party as our miserble neighbours will b*tch about the noise AGAIn!

Quote: YaDunKnow

If you do decide to hit the Big Smoke however, you'll find yourself paying £50 for the privelige of being surrounded by pretentious tw*ts who don't really know anything about the music and are only here to look cool at the "less defined cultural happenings" the venue is planning to appeal to its target Hoxtonite audience.

You just summed up Shoreditch / Hoxton perfectly. What a miserable part of the world. How can such a sh*thole be so full of pretentious c*nts?

looks like me and my brother are invinting people round for a big firework party hopefully with a demonstration of fire diablo from my boyfriend, and firebreathing/juggling from our friend, while my brother's lot will probably have some form of explosives.

On bonfire night they created this (picture) electronic firework launcher, so God knows what they're working on for new year

I'm now going to be sitting in my cold flat since moving to lewes has been put back due to sh*tty former tennants

I hate NYE. Going out in London is hellish, expensive and full of tossers. House parties are good, I guess but the best one to go to this year would probably be a boy in the year below because he has a hot tub but I wont be allowed to go to that one because of sexual politics so it looks like I'm staying in and watching Bambi this year.

Alice and I will be in Oxford at a house party, having a gay old time. Job is indeed a good 'un.

I've decided to say f*ck loneliness. I'm dressing up and going out to the social club nye party. should be slightly less sh*t than sitting in my room.

I don't know what I will do. But whatever it is, I'm sure it will be fun. I'll either cry from lonliness or cry the next day from regret