A Modern Guide To kiosk Etiquette

Posted In: Rants. Reading This Thread:

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 5:09 pm

 
A simple list of rules to obey to make the experience a lot more enjoyable for all parties involved.

[list][*]Do not bring any excessively large amounts of shopping over. The kiosk is not designed to handle excessively large amounts of shopping. There is a sign that says baskets only. This means you can't bring a trolley over, not even the wheelchair trolleys non disabled people seem insistant upon using, just because they don't require money to free from the rest of them. This also means you can't use three baskets because technically it's not a trolley, as that's still an excessive amount of shopping.

[*]Learn the name of what your after. None of the staff are psychic. Each type of cigerrete has a specific name, no two names are the same, we checked. If you wish for a particular type and amount, please state clearly and conscisely what your after. Do not say part of the name, as that is too vague. The standard cigerrete is king size, regular strength, and in a pack of twenty. Do not say just the name if you wish for something different from the conventional. king size are indeed the shorter of the two types avaliable, despite the name.

[*]If it's not there it's out of stock. The products kept behind the kiosk are our biggest sellers, and regular checks are made for gaps. If we can't get you a product normally kept back there, then it's out of stock. This is not the cashiers fault, nor is it any other member of staffs.

[*]Do not use folded or crumpled lottery slips. A crumpled slip will struggle to go through the machine. If it does not scan then we have to manually enter all the details. This takes a lot of your and our time, not to mention the time of people in the queue. Folded slips will read, but the machine will beleive that there is another line on the ticket, and you will be charged extra. If you must fold a ticket, please mark the void box on the gameslip where the the fold occours.

[*]There is not a chair behind the kiosk. The length of a kiosk shift can vary from just fifteen minutes for break coverring, to upto eight hours, of which staff can expect to do at least four hours as one solid lump without rest. Unlike the tills, which have chairs, or shop floor work, where this lots of moving about (and a chance to sit down if you work a lower shelf), kiosk staff are expected to spend several hours a time. This consequentally leaves them with sore feet, and a tendancy to sit down on any availiable surface, at any opportunity. Do not accuse them of slacking, or of being unnocupied.

[*]There's an £80 on the spot fine for being caught selling age restricted goods to minors. not to mention possibilities of further fines, and time in prison. We are activley monitorerd internally and externally, and cannot afford to slip up. Store policy is to ID anyone who looks under twenty one for age related sales, and this is entirely subjective to the individual cashier. We do not have perfect memories, and will ask to ID you many times. Showing us your ID one week doesn't guarantee we will always know how old you are. If you look under 21, bring ID.

[*]You cannot get a refund without receipt. Even if it's a Co-op product, with a Co-op label, we will not refund without a receipt. This is because it proves that the product you are returning is not stolen goods. You cannot return opened cigerretes either.

[*]Their is one queue for the two tils. By defualt everyone lines up behidn the til furthest away from the exit, and waits there turn. Just because no-one is stood behind the person being served at the til nearest the door, doesn't mean there isn't a queue. Please check before jumping to a free cashier. Baskets are placed to your right, on the gridelines. Do not put them to the left, as this can result in double scanned items, and the left is the packing area, where the bags are kept. Do not empty your basket, it is preferred that goods are left inside it, and we remove the basket upon it being emptied.

[*]We are not here to pack for you. We are willing to help pack, and will gladly pack if you are clearly disabled. Being lazy is not a disability, neither is finding opening the bags tricky a disability. Bags can be opend by placing one hand over the handle, and one on the middle of the bag and pulling your hands apart. the resulting tab that appears can then be used to open the bag. It's is not difficult, and it has been known for people with arthritis to open a bag. Not packing wastes time, and annoys everyone in the queue as well as the cashier.

[*]When asked "anything else" do not say no, then ask for more stuff. This is an annoyance to the cashier, and it has been known for continuous switchs between the scanning screen and the payment screen to crash the til. It is also an annoyance to everyone for you to walk off while being served to get something you forgot. Finish your shopping before coming to the kiosk.

[*]The kiosk tils can do everything. We can weigh fruit and vegetables there. They can add phone credit. They can take lottery. They can put gas on your gas card. Any function done at the store (except for taking massive amounts of shopping) canbe done at the kiosk tils. They still have the same problems of the other tils though, and still cannot show you if special offers have come off. If an offer is on the system, it will have come off though. Any offers that aren't on the system won't come off. They also cannot print a subtotal on the receipt, but they do keep a running subtotal.

[*]The staff are human. This means they will make mistakes. They are prone to having bad days. They have feelings, and dislike being called offensive names. They have their own lives outside the building, and will be affected by the day to dayhappenings of their own lives. It's not always easy to put on a cheery attitude, be polite and courteous and take a load of flak from customers some days, and some consideration is the best thing you can do.

[*]Finally use your common sense. If there's a wet floor sign nearby, then the floor will be wet. If the staff have said that there on one til, don't put your basket on the other til. We don't do these things for fun, or to deliberately annoy you. At the end of the day the staff want into and out of the building as quick as possible, and they too want the experience to go well. The only two differences between staff and customers is that weget paid to be there, and the amount of time we spend inthe building is far greater than the time you will spend there.[/list]


Seems simple, but you'd be surprised how many people fail to follow any number of the things on this.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Albert Johanneson

| 14,477 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 5:19 pm

Albert Johanneson - Outside-left

Outside-left

 
Good list there That Thing.

The one thing that grinds my gears (yes, i saw that episode last night) about shop staff is when they don't know their products. Or in a supermarket's case, the general layout. Or when a cigarette kiosk tender doesn't know the name of anything other than the big few ciggy brands.

eg - "Stuyvesant? what are they?"
"behind you on the left, near the bottom. White pack, red tab."

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 5:39 pm

 
there the rules I sat and created myself.

That's simple error of being new to kiosk. We don't get any training in locating products.

Yes, it was.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Kaneda

| 875 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 5:50 pm

"twin ceramic rotar drives on each wheel"

 
tell me about it.

glad i dont work in a supermarket anymore.
She played such a sweet rusty trombone, she brought a tear to my eye.

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 5:52 pm

Mancomb Seepgood - Grog me.

Grog me.

 
Oh God. I'm facing the prospect of all that again next month in my dire need for money. Why can't people just pay me for being cute?
If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Elusive Moose

| 8,546 posts


15th Apr 2007 at 11:12 pm

Elusive Moose - Get your Antlers on

Get your Antlers on

 
Quote: Jarno_Trulli
Good list there That Thing.

The one thing that grinds my gears (yes, i saw that episode last night) about shop staff is when they don't know their products. Or in a supermarket's case, the general layout. Or when a cigarette kiosk tender doesn't know the name of anything other than the big few ciggy brands.

eg - "Stuyvesant? what are they?"
"behind you on the left, near the bottom. White pack, red tab."


There are a f*ckload of cigarette packets. I couldn't stand being put on 'news' when I worked in Smiths because all anyone buys there is newspaper and cigarettes, and, being a novice, it's Not Easy to find a cigarette packet when you're not used to it. Seriously, the only people who know where to find anything are the news full-timers, and even then they'll have the occasional blip. Cigarettes SUCK A*SE. Ugh.

Here here about the ID. And seriously, if I've IDed you and refused sale, don't get your equally-as-young-looking and ID-less brother to come up to the girl on the counter next to me and try to buy it. While you're stood behind him. Seriously, we're not stupid.

Oh and the people who were like "I don't know the name or the author, but it was advertised on tv last night". Because I know what's on every channel all night every night.

Aaaaaah to be out of merchandise for a while. Although I'm subjecting myself to a whole summer of it. In America, where service is a Big Deal. Oops
"You can't roast infants. You just don't get away with it."- a life lesson for us all.


Wife of  Phil the Lawful Hippo. Imagine the children!

The Disneyafied Adventures of Me

Silvan

| 3,776 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 12:54 pm

Silvan - Aurals Velupide!

Aurals Velupide!

 
Quote: knockers

[*]We are not here to pack for you. We are willing to help pack, and will gladly pack if you are clearly disabled. Being lazy is not a disability, neither is finding opening the bags tricky a disability. Bags can be opend by placing one hand over the handle, and one on the middle of the bag and pulling your hands apart. the resulting tab that appears can then be used to open the bag. It's is not difficult, and it has been known for people with arthritis to open a bag. Not packing wastes time, and annoys everyone in the queue as well as the cashier.


Plastic bags are hard to open if you have smooth and very dry hands... as people behind me in a queue have found out several times, I can see how it can be annoying for staff though but it's also embarrassing for the person attempting to open the bloody bag.
What can I say? I did it all for the Wookies.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 6:02 pm

 
Quote: Bunny
Quote: knockers

[*]There is not a chair behind the kiosk. The length of a kiosk shift can vary from just fifteen minutes for break coverring, to upto eight hours, of which staff can expect to do at least four hours as one solid lump without rest. Unlike the tills, which have chairs, or shop floor work, where this lots of moving about (and a chance to sit down if you work a lower shelf), kiosk staff are expected to spend several hours a time. This consequentally leaves them with sore feet, and a tendancy to sit down on any availiable surface, at any opportunity. Do not accuse them of slacking, or of being unnocupied.


When Waitrose got rid of the chairs at the kiosk they made it policy to split kiosk time so no one is ever stood on their feet for ridiculously long amounts of time. Co-op ought to do that.


see, that's a good idea, but their's two flaws to it, which will make management say no: 1) it's common sense which the manegement do not use, and 2) it breaks there "no til hopping" rules which are used to spot any fiddling going on.

anyway, another couple for the list:

[list][*]The microphone is not a toy. It is kept near the tils, so anyone who is on the kiosk can get attention of other people in the store without shouting. It is not to be used for shouting into, playing with the button to make a clicking noise come over the speakers is not entertaining. Do not use store equipment for your own entertainment, they are not designed for it, and we reserve the right to throw you out for it.

[*]Please answer any questions asked truthfully. When we ask if you have a membership card it's so we can continue with the process. Do not say you don't have one, then produce it after we've rung the sale through, as we have no way to swipe it to your bill after sale. When we ask if you'd like cashback, please consider your answer carefully, as there is no easy way to go back to the enter amoutn screen. Do not use these questions as a chance for a laugh. It is not funny to say silly amounts either. Cashback goes up in £5 installments upto £50. We cannot give any other amount.

[*]Do not loiter around after sale. We are here to serve. If there is a queue and your standing around afterwards in the way you are holding other people up. Do not talk to us while we are serving someone else. We are not always capable of focusing on several people at once, and need to give the attention to the current customer. When we ask for payment it is a sign that the conversation held during transaction is nearly over. Do not try to continue this conversation, most cashiers aren't actually interested in what most customers have to say. Please step out of the way once you have been rung through to allow other people to do the same. [/list]
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 6:05 pm

 
Quote: Silvan
Quote: knockers

[*]We are not here to pack for you. We are willing to help pack, and will gladly pack if you are clearly disabled. Being lazy is not a disability, neither is finding opening the bags tricky a disability. Bags can be opend by placing one hand over the handle, and one on the middle of the bag and pulling your hands apart. the resulting tab that appears can then be used to open the bag. It's is not difficult, and it has been known for people with arthritis to open a bag. Not packing wastes time, and annoys everyone in the queue as well as the cashier.


Plastic bags are hard to open if you have smooth and very dry hands... as people behind me in a queue have found out several times, I can see how it can be annoying for staff though but it's also embarrassing for the person attempting to open the bloody bag.


Yes, but I've shown people how it's done, watched them do it, and still they insist on getting me to do it or them. That's just laziness, and a waste of time on both parties involved.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Lianne

| 9,643 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 6:41 pm

 
Amen to all of that. I know the customer is always right n all that... Just a pity that they can be mis-informed, pig-ignorant rude w*nkers as well as being right.

Silvan

| 3,776 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:08 pm

Silvan - Aurals Velupide!

Aurals Velupide!

 
[quote=knockers link=1176656992/15#16 date=1176746711][quote=Silvan link=1176656992/0#9 date=1176728069]Quote: knockers

Yes, but I've shown people how it's done, watched them do it, and still they insist on getting me to do it or them. That's just laziness, and a waste of time on both parties involved.


Ah right, fair enough then.

In that case you must keep a kamakazi squirrel behind the till to throw frozen nuts at them.
What can I say? I did it all for the Wookies.

Elusive Moose

| 8,546 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:13 pm

Elusive Moose - Get your Antlers on

Get your Antlers on

 
Oh also... if there is a queue and you have been waiting in it for a while, AND there is a lot of customers behind you THEN HAVE YOUR CHANGE COUNTED BEFORE YOU GET TO THE TILL. Seriously, there is nothing more frustrating than having a queue of customers tutting at you when someone is counting out 5 and 10ps veery slowly, despite their having waited for ages... Fair enough if my tills were empty, or if there's nobody behind you... but otherwise... grrr...
"You can't roast infants. You just don't get away with it."- a life lesson for us all.


Wife of  Phil the Lawful Hippo. Imagine the children!

The Disneyafied Adventures of Me

Mark Brogan

| 7,648 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:33 pm

 
Um, coincidence, but everyone on VR who has worked at the Co-op seems to have hated it.

I mean, le what?

Mancomb Seepgood

| 3,455 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:39 pm

Mancomb Seepgood - Grog me.

Grog me.

 
Genuinely awful, awful management.  Just balls.  They don't give a sh*t.  Though that's just my personal experience of Co-oping.
If I could get an orange that was as low-maintenance as an apple, I'd be a happy man

Insane Jam Sow

| 443 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:42 pm

Insane Jam Sow - Bill Bryson is my God

Bill Bryson is my God

 
I've got to say, this thread makes me even more determined never to let my section managers at Waitrose talk me into being till trained. I'm happy out on the shop floor moving about and carrying stuff: I don't want to stand behind a till and not know what people are asking for.

My colleague has started working more hours and they made him be trained. His second ever till shift was in the kiosk. Still, I guess the only way to get good at these things is to practise...
http://www.freewebs.com/megazine

Yes, my website still exists. Just about.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 7:54 pm

 
Quote: Wolf
Um, coincidence, but everyone on VR who has worked at the Co-op seems to have hated it.

I mean, le what?


pays sh*t, customers are idiots, management don't give a f*ck, hours are terrible, benefits are few and far between, conditions are horrible, changes only occur if they're not worthwhile, most the staff are useless.

it's the same as most shop work, only we don't get as much pay, and there are more Co-op workers on VR, as we tend to be the slightly cleverer people for some reason.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Chris Kamara

| 24,049 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 9:04 pm

Chris Kamara -

 
I would suggest, That Thing, that you start going to work with a gun.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 9:21 pm

 
Quote: Carlton
I would suggest, That Thing, that you start going to work with a gun.


I've walked 'round the place with an imaginary gun before, as well as chainsaws, blades, and cheese wire.

Long story short; you don't half get some odd looks miming killing people.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Elusive Moose

| 8,546 posts


16th Apr 2007 at 11:08 pm

Elusive Moose - Get your Antlers on

Get your Antlers on

 
Quote: Bazookas
Just a random comment, but it seems to fit in here. It's so funny when people try to cover up the fact that they're buying condoms by buying other random things. A few days ago, a guy went through my till with a 12-pack of Durex, a six-pack of Red Bull and a tin of dog food. Whatever he did that night should go on YouTube.


Aaah teenagers buying lads mags and/or erotica books... they can't look you in the eye... I always wanted to have to do a price check on one of those, or had to ask someone else if they knew how much it was very loudly. Was never cruel enough to do it though...


Quote: Wolf
Um coincidence, but everyone on VR who has worked at the Co-op seems to have hated it.

I mean, le what?  


Heh, don;t know if you were referring to everyone, but I was in WHSmith, not Co-Op. Most of the gripes can be applied to all shop work though. As one person said, 'the only thing wrong with retail is the customers'. (And the management/higher uppers... feck you Kate Swann and your halving my staff discount *shakes fist*)

Genuinely nice customers who you can have a proper conversation with are awesome though, makes it all worthwhile... kinda...
"You can't roast infants. You just don't get away with it."- a life lesson for us all.


Wife of  Phil the Lawful Hippo. Imagine the children!

The Disneyafied Adventures of Me

Snazzberry

| 2,526 posts


17th Apr 2007 at 12:09 am

Snazzberry - i r lion. i r bite you.

i r lion. i r bite you.

 
people behind counters are people too!!!
[quote author=the doc link=1161728632/360#370 date=1193262367]If i wanna scratch me balls i use a hedgehog like everyone else.[/quote]

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


17th Apr 2007 at 11:23 am

 
Quote: Nunga_Nungas
Quote: Bazookas
Just a random comment, but it seems to fit in here. It's so funny when people try to cover up the fact that they're buying condoms by buying other random things. A few days ago, a guy went through my till with a 12-pack of Durex, a six-pack of Red Bull and a tin of dog food. Whatever he did that night should go on YouTube.


Aaah teenagers buying lads mags and/or erotica books... they can't look you in the eye... I always wanted to have to do a price check on one of those, or had to ask someone else if they knew how much it was very loudly. Was never cruel enough to do it though...


I once said "good luck" instead of goodbye to a customer who had brought condoms, flowers, and chocolates.

He wasn't amused.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

29xthepain

| 1,583 posts


17th Apr 2007 at 5:51 pm

29xthepain - the rotten egg of an angry political goose...

the rotten egg of an angry political goose...

 
think that all these are relevant to any job where you have to communicate with the general public!
have always felt, especially when i worked in an offy, that shop work is a great job, if it wasn't for the customers...
...I'm the all night drug-prowling wolf
Who looks so sick in the sun
Im the white man in the palais
Just lookin for fun...

Alpaca

| 5,875 posts


3rd Jun 2007 at 4:45 pm

Alpaca -

 
Quote: 29xthepain
think that all these are relevant to any job where you have to communicate with the general public!
have always felt, especially when i worked in an offy, that shop work is a great job, if it wasn't for the customers...


This goes for call centres as well.

Customers suck. its why im leaving my job soon. they all ask the same questions, and they moan about silly petty things (its a cruise im selling you, you f*ckwit! its a CRUISE! not a punch in the mouth you whiny b*st*rds)

And the atmosphere in a call centre is fab between colleagues, taking the mick out of the stupids and playing pop up pirate and stuff.

LOVE the atmosphere and the company, but hate the callers with a passion.

Kaneda

| 875 posts


23rd Jul 2007 at 2:32 am

"twin ceramic rotar drives on each wheel"

 
we have new machines in maccy d's, lovely touch screen yokes, but if i need to void anything off i need a maanager to come and do it and is it ever f*cking anoying...

Every time a customer changes there mind i have to call the manager, in the past i just changed it to 0 but now....

and the customer who when you ask if they want x in a meal and go no and then order the equivilant of a meal....which costs more so i have to change it...

Or they say everything in one go, so i stop them, get them to repeat and then they do the same thing agian...god people its not hard....
She played such a sweet rusty trombone, she brought a tear to my eye.

Lianne

| 9,643 posts


23rd Jul 2007 at 9:55 am

 
Quote: Kaneda
we have new machines in maccy d's, lovely touch screen yokes, but if i need to void anything off i need a maanager to come and do it and is it ever f*cking anoying...

Every time a customer changes there mind i have to call the manager, in the past i just changed it to 0 but now....

and the customer who when you ask if they want x in a meal and go no and then order the equivilant of a meal....which costs more so i have to change it...

Or they say everything in one go, so i stop them, get them to repeat and then they do the same thing agian...god people its not hard....


some people are tw*ts.

i work at BK, and a drink and burger is more expensive than the meal (value dealy b*ll*cks blah blah blah..) but woe betide anyone who tries to save the customer a bit of money.

oh, and people who just point behind me and don't even say anything. my perception of what the f*ck you're pointing at is somewhat hampered by the fact that I am short-sighted to mole-like proportions.

And No. We don't take US$. THIS IS ENGLAND. I WOULDN'T GO TO AMERICA AND USE ££ WOULD I?

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


23rd Jul 2007 at 7:08 pm

 
after today (and yesterday for that matter) my only new contribution to helping out kiosk service is thus:

[list][*]If your over the age of 65, and can't remember what day it is, please jump infront of the number seventeen bus that comes past the building every 10 minutes. Just because your feeling lonely does not give you the right to assume the staff are willing to socialise with you. Going around the store three times because you can't remember if you've brought the milk in the bag in your right hand does not help us, and looks highly suspicious. Do not even attempt to shop if you can't remember what colour the purple sweets are. Telling us your after an item that's green and hot, is too vague, and is a waste of everyone's time. If you've reached that stage, then the cost to us to serve you is far greater than the £4 we'll get from you. For the conveinience of other customers, as well as staff, and society in general, including societies in other countries; please end your existance, preferably in a way that doesn't inconvienience others, such as by thinking a pair of concrete boots are actually flippers, and jump of the nearest bridge.[/list]
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

YaDunKnow

| 95 posts


23rd Jul 2007 at 9:25 pm

VR kicks ass!

 
Mate, just get a new job, for Christ's sake. This one doesn't seem to be doing you any favours. You're obviously an articulate, inteligent person who could probably do a lot better than working at Co-op.

Kaneda

| 875 posts


24th Jul 2007 at 1:02 am

"twin ceramic rotar drives on each wheel"

 
11 hours on tills today...Fun
She played such a sweet rusty trombone, she brought a tear to my eye.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


24th Jul 2007 at 11:03 pm

 
Quote: YaDunKnow
Mate, just get a new job, for Christ's sake. This one doesn't seem to be doing you any favours. You're obviously an articulate, inteligent person who could probably do a lot better than working at Co-op.


you'd be surprised

odd how many interviewers think your stupid just because you couldn't get an A-C in English ¬¬ I'm tempted now to take even the same sort of job in a different store now, it's getting that bad.

That's the excuse I give, truth is I'm a spacker whose scared to try
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


25th Jul 2007 at 1:02 am

 
Quote: Jugs
Quote: Thingumy
after today (and yesterday for that matter) my only new contribution to helping out kiosk service is thus:

[list][*]If your over the age of 65, and can't remember what day it is, please jump infront of the number seventeen bus that comes past the building every 10 minutes. Just because your feeling lonely does not give you the right to assume the staff are willing to socialise with you. Going around the store three times because you can't remember if you've brought the milk in the bag in your right hand does not help us, and looks highly suspicious. Do not even attempt to shop if you can't remember what colour the purple sweets are. Telling us your after an item that's green and hot, is too vague, and is a waste of everyone's time. If you've reached that stage, then the cost to us to serve you is far greater than the £4 we'll get from you. For the conveinience of other customers, as well as staff, and society in general, including societies in other countries; please end your existance, preferably in a way that doesn't inconvienience others, such as by thinking a pair of concrete boots are actually flippers, and jump of the nearest bridge.[/list]

Woah, dude. Chill.

As much as customers p*ss off you, me and everyone else in front line customer service, have some sympathy. Chances are these people could have Alzheimer's or some other degenerative illness..

The one general exception to my rule of all customers must die is the elderly and infirm. (Unless they are obviously taking the p*ss and pushing their luck based on this fact.)


sorry, that's partial personal beleif that ... extermination, for the lack of a better phrase, of the senile and imcompetant would be beneficial. They do tend to be the people I'd most like to shoot though, given the choice.

If I ever become senile and not aware of my surroundings i'd want to be killed. I'd hate to end my life like that, I'd rather go aware I'm dying.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Tobias Fünke

| 4,730 posts


25th Jul 2007 at 1:31 am

Tobias Fünke  - I blue myself.

I blue myself.

 
It can be arranged.
Analrapist.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


25th Jul 2007 at 12:58 pm

 
Because I said it was humane ¬¬

prolly went OTT on that one, just not going outside would be enough realistically. Point is their presence is not helpful to anyone.
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.

Kaneda

| 875 posts


25th Jul 2007 at 2:43 pm

"twin ceramic rotar drives on each wheel"

 
ATTENTION ROMANIANS: I will NOT sell you a big mac for €2. They cost €3.60 and nothing else.

ah thats better, Sorry
She played such a sweet rusty trombone, she brought a tear to my eye.

Dissimulation

| 5,671 posts


27th Jul 2007 at 9:09 am

Dissimulation -

 
Quote: Thingumy


sorry, that's partial personal beleif that ... extermination, for the lack of a better phrase, of the senile and imcompetant would be beneficial. They do tend to be the people I'd most like to shoot though, given the choice.


I'd personally choose to shoot fat, ugly, inbred c*nts from Reading.
Each to their own, I guess.

Dr Namgge

| 14,541 posts


31st Jul 2007 at 9:56 pm

 
Quote: Water_Boatman
Quote: Thingumy


sorry, that's partial personal beleif that ... extermination, for the lack of a better phrase, of the senile and imcompetant would be beneficial. They do tend to be the people I'd most like to shoot though, given the choice.


I'd personally choose to shoot fat, ugly, inbred c*nts from Reading.
Each to their own, I guess.



do it. That'd get rid of all the people I just said I wanted to kill
A Random Link
I don't give a f*ck you f*cking f*ck!

Quote:
You should try being me, I injure myself on an hourly basis in stupid and childish ways. I nearly gave myself a heart attack this morning when I stood on a glove.


 
 
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