"Hornbination" the TRUE nature of males :)

Hey peeps....
This was inspired by a nice hakiu in the poetry section. To ensure full enjoyment from the following, please read it aloud in your best 'David Attenborough' voice.

Quote: Captain_Spiky_

Woodland animals
Sleep in warm holes; I wish that
I could hibernate

Traces of the behaviour "Hornbination" can be observed in almost all post-adolescent homosapien males. To prepare for "Hornbination", males will consume large amounts of food and alcohol in the late summer and fall. As the winter nights draw in, there blood is flooded by a 'Hibernation Inducement Trigger', otherwise known as 'testosterone'. This is when they're at their most irrational, overbearing and aggressive.

For the next few months, the copious layers of fat built-up through a summer of excess burger-binging spawns a well-needed business opportunity as a drug-mule for the local and rather friendly, heroin-cartel. 8)

Now, and this is providing they're not caught, their wallets are finally bulging at the seams with wonga. This heavy cash-injection temporarily makes them attractive to the opposite sex, often disguising their grotesque physiques and/or complete lack of intelligence, integrity, humour, heart, passion and personality.

And that leads us nicely on to 'Investment', the penultimate stage of hornbination. Now they've got to turn wonga to wheels, dollars to designer dresses, franks to flats, rupees to retail, pounds to presents....for the princess. Either that or get a regular cash income. Perhaps a few more of those cartel 'package' holidays to colombia? Either way son, if the wonga dries up, you won't reach the ultimate stage of 'Hornbination'.

The desire of all men...
...to bed-down for the winter in a nice, warm hole.

-jamie
(Dissimulation).

[quote=moosesNOTmeese_ link=1043678297/0#1 date=1043689320]

The levels vary?!?

Quote: Bob_Flapper_

and a full cavity

...using only tongues Now, where did I leave that damn mouthwash?