School shooting 'a sign of Amish progression'

Commentators have welcomed the recent shooting at an Amish school in Pennsylvania, US, as it signifies the community's entry into the 21st century.  The notoriously backward-thinking weirdo Christian sect refuse to use electricity, or any appliance invented after 1932.

"Obviously we're all shocked and saddened by the incident" Community leader Ezekiel Schmidt said "But at the same time, it's a relief that this modern American cultural phenomenon can make it as far as the Amish.  Hopefully the next one will use an actual handgun rather than the 19th centuary musket used in this situation."

Plans that a terrorist sect were planning to move to Amish country as a further sign of its development were dismissed as "total bullsh*t... I mean, who makes these things up?" by cell leader Mohammed Muttolah.

Nobody should be laughing at p*ss poor satire. But people still do.

Back o' them.

Quote: Peak_Freens_Trotsky_Assortment

Nobody should be laughing at p*ss poor satire. But people still do.

10 bonus K points.

Quote: Peak_Freens_Trotsky_Assortment

Nobody should be laughing at p*ss poor satire. But people still do.

Quote: The_Angry_Monkey_Show

10 bonus K points.

Post something funnier then. That's the whole point - You two are comedy geniuses, I'm sure you guys can come up with something good.

And I think this thread is quite funny

Quote: Lilac_Leopard

About time something was on the front page, though. I guess if people think it's not great (I'm remaining impartial) making a better thread here would be the clever man's choice

Nowt wrong wi it, I just wondered why it was on front page

I'm allowed to laugh at this but someone who laughs accidentally when Steve Irwin dies...

Hilarious.

Whenever you're watching the news, the best way to judge the stories is 'how good a South Park episode will this make'.

Matt and Trey will have something of this within a year.

Reminds me of the Weird Al song Amish Paradise...

funny or not..

The notoriously backward-thinking weirdo Christian sect refuse to use electricity, or any appliance invented after 1932.

that should have got it removed... we are all a little more forward thinking then that. and humour is never an excuse.

Quote: the_chubby_punk_otaku

i found the thread amusing , just that one line i felt had stepped across a line.

Achhhhhhhh.

Jamie doesn't so much step over the line as take a running jump over it wearing big heavy boots so that when he lands on the other side it makes a bigger impact.

It's just his way.

Quote: Dalek

Would we be joking about this if something similiar had happened in our own country with our own people? Makes you wonder.

Some of us would.

Also, oops, I didn't realise this had actually happened. I thought it was a p*sstake.

Quote: Dalek

It is a p*sstake about 5 little girls being tied-up and having their brains blown out by a peado.

Clearly you haven't seen some of the parody threads that have been on this site for some time.

If you're sickened and wish to leave, you'll find the "x" in that top right hand corner useful...

Quote: The_Fastest_Milkcart_In_The_West

It would be amusing if people of this board found all deaths funny. It seems they pick and choose. I have nothing agaisnt this p*sstaking thread as such, just refer to my earlier posts in the thread to see what I do have a problem with.

EDIT: actually forget it - I can't be arsed.

Yeah, but harsh as it is, if it's someone you care about more then you'll not find it funny. I suppose though if i found out someon had laughed at say my nanas death though I'd go mental.

Also I hold my hands up and say I don't pay attention to the news so I didn't realise this thread was based on somehting. If I had I wouldn't have been so quick to laugh.

I don't know - if I can bring up south park again.

The problem is , were are making light of this event not only too soon after it took place, but solely because the children (one was 8) happened to be amish... If it was a bunch of inner city kids in a school down the street we'd all be shocked , especially if someone made light of it. But no because they are "backwards thinking" we are allowed to make fun of the death of some innosent children.

Steve Irwin dies in an accident , and one person says they laughed about it when they heard, becuase they tyhought it was a joke. And everyone strings them up. Guess what , im sure steve would have probably laughed (ironically). But a child dies , and we all laugh, yet someone doesnt like it , and says something... and we string them up. Its nothing to do with if we have a sence of humour , because we were banned from having one when steve died.

What was the reason then, oh we had to think of his wife and kids, who had lost a dad. but not one person has yet thought of the mothers, fathers , brothers , sisters , and familys who have lost girls in this.

And the ironic thing , the amish have accepted in the most forward thinking way possible, the killers wife into the community. I think its all of us who are the backwards thinging ones.

Quote: Opium

a nice relief from all the copious butt f*cking that dead people get posthumously.

Hey - you nicked my phrase from earlier on.


I want money now.

I dunno why, but this thread would probably have been funnier if the guy who did the shootings had actually been Amish. As it stands now, the only part of this thread that's a joke, isn't even accurate, and just sounds so stupid for it.

Quote: Dalek

Yyou're heartless - a nicer relief would be for something to happen to you.

I'd be very upset if someone didn't parody something horrible happening to me

Here you go folks:

Quote: the_chubby_punk_otaku

Quote: Big_Bob_Flapper

Here you go folks:

Now come on , this is no time for a w*nk-a-thon......

oh oh , ok , maybe a quick one.

scarily that was also my first thought

turned on by a box of tissues, there's another one to add to the list

Quote: Dalek

Your forgetting that the jokes about 9/11 started sometime after the event occured

You must lead a very sheltered life. Within hours of the events of 11/9 (I REFUSE to subscribe to the american dating convention, even for this event!) people were cracking jokes. Both on and offline. Same with Diana, same with 7/7...

People handle tragedy in differing ways, same with how they handle life, me? I like to make light of as much of it as I can. Why? If I didn't I'd spend the rest of my life hiding in my room in fear of the world. I'd also go very, VERY crazy very quickly. It doesn't lessen my appreciaton of the gravity of certain events, nor the tradgedy of some things, however.

None of them. It was Chuck Norris. Probably.

Nah, Max Clifford.

Some jokes to help lighten the mood:

Did you hear about the charity pantomine held for paranoid schizophrenics? It all kicked off when the audience shouted - 'he's behind you!'

Tom and Gary, 2gays spent all weekend in bed having sex. On Sunday Tom says to Gary 'i'm going too the shop, don't be w*nking while i'm away'. When he came back there was cum all over the walls and ceiling! Tom says 'i told you not to w*nk while i was away!' Gary says 'i didn't - i farted'.

Christiano Ronaldo goes to the doctors and complains that he gets sexually aroused when looking in the mirror. 'I'm not surprised,' said the doctor, 'you're a c*nt.'

Under new pharmacy guidelines all medicines must be ordered by their trade names. When ordering Viagra ask for MYCOXAFLOPIN.