Worst Christmas Song

From the makers of Every Other Inevitable Thread.

By now, no matter how much you've tried to avoid them I'm sure you've heard at least one of the many horrible Christmas songs this December... but which is the worst?

I think that, despite some admirably awful attempts from many other performers, Paul McCartney's can't be outcrapped. It's a smug non-song featuring a Prophet synthesizer desperately trying to blow its own fuse and the kind of rhymes you'd expect from... well, from McCartney. Its "oooh"s are the most unconvincing lyricless vocals ever. And that's saying something, as they follow the line "Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding."

It deserves to be deemed a Failure even among Christmas songs and someone should have stood up to him at the time. With some anthrax.

And you?

Even the song 'Christmas Is Stupid And James Is Stupid And Stupid' (Traditional)?

Saying that, I don't like Peter Kay's song. It's got a very arrogant idea behind it, as in "This'll be a classic for years to come, because me, Peter Kay, is involved." Or Mariah Carey's all I Want for Christmas Is You.

Saying that, there's quite a few that I don't like.

Maybe the old song is right. Maybe James is Stupid. And Stupid.

Exactly.
Slade's (which seems to be the most popular) is bad enough to not need explanation (but not QUITE bad enough to revalidate it, as in original post).

I could devise a scoring system. Start at Zero (and that's being generous):
-1 for reference to Santa Claus
-1 for jingle bells
-2 for descending major scale
-5 for children's choir
-9 for every second of being Paul McCartney
-20 if you're grinning
+80 if you're Reuben

The Darkness and Is this Christmas by The Wombats and anything by Cliff Richard or Paul McCartney.

Quote: Lilac_Leopard

Yes, Is This Christmas? by The Wombats is the most horrifically blatent cash-in since I Wish I Was James Bond by The Wombats. They sully the good name of Mark, frankly.

Scouting For Girls, actually, who really are the worst band of all time.

F*ck Peter Kay. I`d rather give £2 to the NSPCC and not buy anything by that smug washed-up c*nt.

Quote: klinsmann18

I've just listened to that song for the first time. I have no words to describe the feelings inside me at this moment.

You're a lucky man. Once you get used to it, the impact's a little lessened.

Not by that much.

Quote: pablomarmite

The Darkness. A cynical, humourless attempt to write a generic Christmas cash-in. Although Justin Hawkins' reaction when Gary Jules beat them to the number 1 slot was priceless.

i agree. The Darkness are stupid and pathetic.

"Oh there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas..."

It's by Chris Rea.