Horace
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day
He didn't stop to say his grace
He just sat down and ate his face
We can't have this his Dad decalred
If that lad's ate he should be shared
But even as he spoke he saw
Horace eating more
First his legs and then his thighs
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes
Stop him someone Mother cried
Those eyeballs would be better fried
But all to late for they had gone
And he had started on his dong
Oh follish child the father mourns
We could have deep-fried that with prawns
Some parsley and some tartar sauce
But H was on his second course
His liver and his intestine and lung
His ears his neck his chin his tongue
To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's gone and scoffed the lot
His Mother cried What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew
And as she wept her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart and spleen
And there he lay a boy no more
Just a stomach on the floor
None the less since it was his
They ate it-thats what haggis is*
*No it isn't Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten by Scots and considered by them to not only be a delicacy but also fit for human consumption. The minced heart,liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other animals inner organs are mixed with oatmeal sealed then boiled. Blah blah etc soon followed by extreme stomach pains and three weeks in hospital.
From Monty Python's Flying Circus
Being Beardless takes up alot of time. Actually no it doesn't unless you use a wooden spoon to shave.