Strawberry's poems

Posted In: Poetry + Prose. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

11th Nov 2005 at 9:45 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

Space (written on Friday, the 11th of November, 2005).

I feel invisible
like wind or air
Maybe it's too late but I don't know if I care.

hurting my soul
Numbing my mind
like I'm losing control.

I used to have hope
but it faded away
Sometimes I ask myself
where everything has gone.

Leaf (written on Friday, the 11th of November, 2005)>

Sometimes I wonder
what it's like to be a tree
I would dance with the wind
in the cold midnight sky.

Birds would build their nests in me
squirrels would live in me
Children would climb me
and I would feel useful.

Sometimes I wish
that I could be a tree
Trees are so pretty
and graceful.

Branches (Thursday, the 10th of November, 2005).

Winter is a time of grey
a time of broken hearts and decay
The seasons are dying
and I'm dying inside.

Pieces of stone
pieces of leaf
Like a memory
of disbelief.

When my shame is hurting
and my heart breaks in two
Sometimes I wonder
if they remember too.

My secret shame
my blame, my pain.

Spirit is broken
like a piece of glass
Maybe if I killed myself
it would be what they expected.

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

8th Mar 2006 at 10:34 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

Creature (written on Tuesday, the 8th of March, 2006).

I t was a Sunday morning
and he was all alone
A lovely wild rabbit
sitting on the school lawn.

I picked up a leaf
and put it on the grass
He ate the leaf
and broke his fast.

I bent down
and stroked his brown fur
Then it was time to go
and I walked home.

I still think of him
although we are apart
For we are still together
in our memories and hearts.

The Comfort of Invisibility- Thursday, the 9th of March, 2006.

I wish I could fade
into obscurity

I don't want to offend anyone
with my existence
Life is a crime
life is pain.

I feel guilty
like I have no right
No right to take up space
life is murder.

I just want to be thin
to fade away
To be anything
instead of everything.

Nothing- Written on Friday, the 10th of March, 2006.

Life is pain
life is dirt
And I don't want to feel
because everything hurts.

I close my eyes
away from the world
The scary world
of dirt of hate.

I wish I could be a robot
And just be numb
hurt by no one.

I wrote a poem yesterday. Sorry if my poems depress anyone. I was going to write an explantion of this poem, but it'll just sound more depressing.

Peace- written on Tuesday, the 21st of March, 2006.

I had a hundred reasons
to hate myself
I wrote them down
on paper.

I don't have them
maybe I still need them
We're always together
we're always apart
Just like my burns.

Be brave, my reasons
be brave and free
Don't be ashamed
don't be like me.

Dream- Sunday, the 26th of March, 2006.

Everything hurts
All I ever did was love them
all they ever did was hurt me.

I haven't seen them
since 1996
But I still dream about them

I lived in the same street as them
for nineteen years
I moved 200 miles away
but I'm still scared of them.

They were always scared of her
though I never knew why
She died
Sometimes I feel like they're laughing at me.

Maybe it should've been me
instead of her
If I starved myself to death
maybe they'd be sorry.

Maybe no one's worth dying for
and I don't want to be with her
Although I feel
like I deserve to be.

Maybe I should hate them
but I can't
Ever since I remember
people have hurt me.


Peace, love together
You know it will start
A match made in heaven
I'm not disillusioned
To me, the truth is real
What's your contribution?
Love, dust and orange peel
Who are we but entwined
At least we know who we are
Better than trying to drive
And become an overweight/overnight superstar in a car
World, my children are dead
wow, their fear was too
You saw what I wanted, yet pushed it away
You hate and sedate me, though you've never had the guts to say
And don't pretend to remember.


I know who I am
I've seen it
Through the colours
Of my soul
The windows in my mind
Tell me it
I'll give or lose control
Prejudice is cast upon me
It's going to my head
I want to be where I found me
At the time of press
Once I was young, and free
With ring-holes in my ear
But I'm no longer sure of who be my
My mind is hung with fear
And I see a wall, I ignore its call
To bang it on my head
My fear's been with me since I was three
So it's probably inbred
I can't not cry; I don't know why
It seems the world is dead.


Come to me gently, alone in the night
None but you and I know the room
Be like the butterfly, alone in its beautiful flight
That will suffocate and bleed in its tomb
Ah; child, can't you see,
You're precious to me?
Though full well I know you're not one of us,
I'll think of you, then, when the future seems imminent
And forget that you tried
To jump in front of that bus
Oh suicide, our cruel world cries
And grabs you by
The hands
Failing to see
Your love for me
Or don't they understand?
Oh melodies, or memories
Since your kittens passed away
The media think it's right
To kill and/ or fight
But we know it's not OK.


Jim, Jim; oh, remember him
As his lips expand
To the sunny sky
I'm overloaded and my... head exploded
But he's gone, gone, gone
How long, what's wrong- you did this to me
It's too late, though your fate, is their sanity
I cannot be near you; I fear you, anyway
Folks no longer adhere to you, now he's pushed you away
And as he made your character drain the final drink to your lips
It seemed your future, their retribution
Lay at their fingertips.

Edited by Rayanne Graff Apr 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

1st Apr 2006 at 10:04 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix


You never know
You've hurt the world
Until you've cut it
To pieces
There's no stone that you
Can leave unturned
Until you die of its diseases
Fish are caught; a licence is bought
To murder, eat and maim
Doesn't mean they can't feel because they don't scream
You kill in your God's name
Loud murderers with no subtlety
Know not to feel or weep
I, myself, find
Your hate is blind
Your talk drives me
To sleep
Don't you care; no, they'll give you a quid
For the squid whose life you did
You did mine as well; you gave me hell
For can't you tell
I'm a murderer as well
But I've changed; is that so strange?
Not to me, anyway
Not them but me; you will agree
That is worthless.

8. (Paranoid Child.)

Paranoid child; tears in her eyes
Waving goodbye
To the side of the dawn
Something inside
That always was denied
I know because
He said so
Dreams are the only that love is caught
Yet you give me no day time or even a thought
But I'm shaking with my tears, swept along with my fears
And I scream like a werewolf in the night
I cannot wait for you; there's no love to be true
There's little chance of me
Getting over you and being all right again
Now that I will not be my expected image
Of the subserviant female, doomed to be bound and a slave
So much sadness, so much pain
My tears are falling down like the rain
Until I've learned to love myself
I'll never love again.

9. (The One I Love.)

The one I love
Is far away
But not so in
My heart
For months on end
I wept and prayed
From this world he would
Not part
Oh talisman, oh talisman
What did you so
For me?
It is too late
For life is hate
I blame my ancestry
How long have I waited in anguish
Is it I who must foot all the blame
I have leapt, I have longed, I have languished
But at least now I can mention his name
I know I will never forget him
And I now have a little more hope
He helps me to see the love within me
And attempt, at least, to cope
I love him despite the worries and pain
That have glided along my paranoid brain
Despite the betrayals, mistrusts and regrets
I hope, he may love me yet.

10. (I Wish I Were Someone Else.)

Nothing you say can make me change my ways
Your words will have no effect
I want to die; the tears in my eyes
I wish I were someone else
Why can't you see, that you're precious to me
Yet you held me aloft from a rope
This nature be crust, and turn into dust
But how am I supposed to cope?
Emptiness in my veins, corrodes in my face
I wish that my dead were with me
Or that I could scream, present width in a dream
But it's sometime so I'll hug a tree
There's little left to curse
Leave wayward screams alone
Handfasted close in time
Though it could not be much worse
Cold betrayal now my vision came
Embryos molesting my hair
Too septic so I take the blame.

11. (Screaming.)

We're bleeding; we're screaming
Like fires in
The close
We're landing, expanding
But nobody knows
Or cares
Friendship is above us; satisfy our hate
With no-one left to love us, for our needs are still too great
Speak to the dead; if they'll understand
The living are worthless; they f*** and command
Reality is empty; its needs are too large
Its fortress implores us
To grab and submerge
As it sinks in the sea; who will jump off the barge
Cursed time; please your mind
It's amusing
Free love; free your mind
Discover what it is you need to find
Through the fields of grain
Where truth rots upon the air
When circles form; who seems to care
With crusts aloft, and flowers ripped
And bellies frown at your fingertips
Let this crow be your lessened home
Boing like a sparrow in a plastic dream
The world is dressed and in this alone
So let out a primal scream.

12. (I See You.)

I see you; I need you
Like death's icy veil
Entranced, I dance, to your glance
And breathing is dense though somewhat pale
Forensic, or dyspraxic, who cares?- you're away
I'm somewhat automatic, so I'm trying to neigh
In your membranes, on your selfsame
I'm trying to live, but I'm gone
With this world so cold and empty
All they want is alimentary
Too far, too soon, colliding in time
And this, like the moon, is subjected to mime
Your infinite body, I try to succumb
You hold me and rock me, but fall on your womb
Forensic dyspraxic, who cares?- you're away
I'm somewhat automatic, so I'm trying to neigh.

13. (Alone With A Smell.)

Sometimes you think you're a brain, though you've been slain
When the world wants to f*** you as well.
There's too many people, watching through peepholes
Falling from steeples
When you're
With a smell
Radiation; integration
They never give a t*ss
Feel pretensious redempted vibrations
For all love's misplaced or last
Let us all burn, and don't drink your ring
The world will be spurned, until we all learn to sing
Stardust tipped in our purple hair; watching the kaleidoscopic fanfare
Worthless, mirthless, with mind to kill in dell
But you can escape from the trappings of r*pe
Yes, you can escape: be alone
With a smell

Edited by Rayanne Graff Apr 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

3rd Apr 2006 at 9:58 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

14. (Iron Pillow.)

My iron pillow is s*x on legs
He sings of spliffs and tripping heads
Boinging to sunsets, and bladders and veins
But now that I'm gladder, he'll be back again
Take this religion, to masses and see
I'm wearing my glasses, for I've learned to be free
Watch away through this
Thank you for the periwinkle
I stuck a pin in my iron pillow
So he screamed at me like an armadillo
Now he's dyed his mouth green, the colour of his dental floss
And he's living in Greece, so I feel the loss.

15. (Free From The World.)

Dyeing, crying
Trying for you
Seems so crazy, but there's nothing to do
All this confusion, when there's nothing new
All these illusions, when there's nothing to do
I don't care, just as long as I'm free from the world
Screaming, dreaming
Has a meaning for me
We're lashing at Ashley
Though she's ACDC
Make a contribution, or seek retribution from us
Sorry for what I put you through
I don't mind, if it encourages you to leave me alone
Though corroded, I exploded; and outmoded, I sighed
Then languished in a sandwich, and damaged, I died.

16. (Ognir.)

(This poem is weird and cheesy. Still, I was only 15 when I
wrote it.)

Ognir, you're soggy
Too foggy for me
I like your stare; your short, long hair
And it appears that my sister agrees
Although you wore cherries, not strawberries, on your shirt
A little indifference to the can't hurt
Broken tree memory
You weren't born on July the three
When I was fifteen, you were older than me
I've only one record, the single Time Takes Time: bought for me by my mother
I've got a postcard of you, holding a white dove
And when I'm thinking of you, I pledge eternal love
My sister's a T-shirt with the same photo on; she got the postcard before me
We've got photographs of you from the Beatles Shop, with McCartney on wearing a shirt
We think it's him, and we're not dim
And we're trying to be alert
Ognir, you're soggy
Too fognir for me
I like your stare; your short, long hair.

17. (Child of the Ocean.)

You had a long face and a beautiful name
How could I forget you, or sit in your shame?
Scattered destiny and wayward time
But life-death seemed your only premature crime
And so when my mind's filled; f*cked up with emotion
While I fall wide, so I can just be
That's when I think of you, child of the ocean
That's when I think of you, child of the sea
Oh that I were with you, so I could your hand hold
You always looked so calm, but you must have been unsettled
Rejection and ignorance were their bylaws
And this song has been written because, because
When I'm on a beach, applying the lotion
Wondering if anyone in this world's free
That's when I think of you, child of the ocean
That's when I think of you, child of the sea
I only ever saw you a few times, moments ago
But no-one ever really saw you
That's why I write this song, I think... no, I know
So no-one will ever forget or ignore you
When I feel I have buried my concept of self worth and devotion
And I've lost my dignity and identity
That's when I think of you, child of the ocean
That's when I think of you, child of the sea.

18. (Dying.)

Half the world is dying
Yet I don't know how to live
Should I spend my lifetime crying
Or remember and forgive?
Like a stormy sea I have learned to be
This caused them to exalt
Should I give in, gnash my teeth and grin
Do I care that it's my fault?
Is it so terrible to be a failure
Does it or make you alarmed and pale?
Although I do not have an inhaler
It seems a kind of jail
Death in its icy shadows
Climbing a skeleton tree
Though it holds its own kind of pathos
It's precious, I agree.

19. (Someday My Prince Will Come.)

(I don't think this one is very good. Never mind. I was only 15 when I wrote it.It isn't a true poem; I just made it up. The next one is better.)

Someday my prince will come
He c*me all over me
I'm an anarchist, unlike my mum
And despise the monarchy
I insisted on having the lights off
And wouldn't relent a bit
The s*d hadn't heard of Karkazov
And his trousers didn't fit
I don't know why I pursued him; I hardly knew him
We'd never spoken a word
He was hardly Kropotkin, anything but besotting
And he'd the nerve to call me his bird
So I ran off and bought him a plum
Though I resented his philosophy
Someday my prints will come
Now I'm into photography.

20. (Revolutionary Egg.)

You're always so full of it, revolutionary egg
Well, I've had enough of your sh**
I'm tired of hearing about imaginary wars
And how noble it is to die for a cause
You're just too f***ed up with laws
Where is your substance, who's locked up your bones?
Don't you want ever to be free?
You answer in grumbled, distilled monotones
Then expect me to pay you a fee
You say your intent is on changing
Isn't that the same with everyone?
There's too many toenails that you've left uncurled
Why don't you try following the sun?

Edited by Rayanne Graff Apr 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

29th Apr 2006 at 10:02 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

21. (Is It There?)

Is it there, is it there?
A world in a sea of upheaval, and nobody cares
I walk alone; feeling worthless and scared
I've tried to speak, but I'm thought a freak, and so nobody cares
Nothing ever happens; it's never real anyway, it's not as if I'm the only one
No one seems to understand
I could vaporise from the warmth of a hand
But my life has ended before it's even begun
Why everyone hates me, is beyond my grasp
I don't even have the courage to ask
I've lost my purpose, though I've always had pain
There's nothing to live for, save my disdain
With the embryo of my soul, rising through the air
I'll try to pretend I don't care
Shadows of my life, echoes of my being
I'll cut my hair with a knife, and try to find my meaning.

22. (William.)

William, William, where are you now?
Back in the green field, f***ing a cow?
They haven't forgotten you, just when you died.
What was it, patricide?
Died as a teenager, killed by a friend
You did not see your child before your cruel end
Your being cursed by

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

2nd May 2006 at 10:14 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

29. In The Green Fields.

I love you though your face is sorrow
In the green fields of tomorrow
I've taken the hate that I may borrow
In the green fields of tomorrow
Though you may be dead, your spirit's in the air
I will love you yet, although you may not care
I have always hoped that I would find you
For you could be right behind
But now you're gone, my thoughts are shattered
And it seems that nothing matters
So I'm waiting for you now
I'm convinced that you'll come back somehow
And I love you, though your face is sorrow
In the green fields of tomorrow.

30. (Anger.)

Anger instilled in my memory
I could not see for the shame
I'm feeling nervous and trembling
No one remembers my name
Who am I supposed to be
Just one worthless memory?
It takes me hours just to sleep
And when I do, I only weep
If everyone's against me
Why can't I boing and hug a tree?
It's as well that I'm cynical, or I'd be dead by now
Stabbed by my bitterness, pricked by its thorn
To be betrayed and dismayed by one icy kiss
It's for myself that I mourn.

31. (In Your Darkened Room.)

With the blood that is mine pouring out through my veins
And I'm d*mned if I'm trying to think
I have neither love nor other to cause me much pain
And my boat is starting to sink
But the past is clouding my arrival
From reality to second death
On the other hand, I've few chances of survival
Free detergent in your final breath
Small mushrooms are loading a freeway
With their much-loved prophecy of doom
They've designs to disintegrate us
In your darkened room
I'm sorry if I destroyed you
But you're the only woman I ever knew
I didn't make advances, for I knew I had no chances
And I'll crown my name with dew.

32. (Take My Hair.)

And I'm lost again in this lonely time
Take my hair, and scream away
Thinking seems a justified crime
For I don't know what I'm saying
Whisper naked through my bath
And you may rest assured
I love you woman, I've seen you coming
With your eyes azure
Like Karkazov, I saw you cough
And loved you from the start
But the one you see, is no longer me
I have a broken heart
For I've been betrayed by society
No Satan or satyr is waiting for me
Only you can make me lust
Or turn my brain rust
My moments were romance, but my dreams have died
like crust
Your energy is a remedy when I'm hatred or self-loss
And I'll give you my tearducts, unlesss they cause some dust
I caught your hair; screamed at your stare; groaned at realms pf unblinking love
I worshipped you like a Goddess, or an armpit from above
The most beautiful rainbow I have ever done seen
Your macabre has its own spaced out dream.

32. (Worthless Sweet Fortune.)

Worthless sweet fortune
You are not his child
What kind of hoped sunshine could break his frozen eyes
You know little of him, least not whence he came
Is involvement constituted by the fact he had fame?
The dead are enough, poor onion
Spec when they're from the Twenties
They're constantly coming or humming: their miracles
are empty
I do not claim that I could ever know you
On the condition that you never say that you owned me
Your psychic does not own you, though you must have
some ties
I take on the world weeping, and see through your eyes
Try to understand; but not overdemand, understand
Now I believe you, you were a care
The dead may be worthless, but they are fortune rare.

33. (How?)

How could they say it was meant to be that way; I guess it's too late to arise
Society is scum then, but it was a worthless surprise
Many were blamed including, I watch it again
I cannot forget you; my guilt bears this pain
My words now initiated what was writ in their hand
I could never anticipate this, what I do not understand
These m*rders expurged, the first writ in blood
With vampires' Revelations
I hate this world; this toe uncurled; what then, but love, is real
or good.

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

4th May 2006 at 11:01 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

36. (No.)

Rivalry seems of little significance, faced in the midst of tragedy
There is too much indifference that will not give thanks
to me
Our births are but worthless; it's time to be real
You give me your hearse look; you forget how to feel
But I think sanctity thanks me; it makes me all right
I need a push button mushroom to help me make it through the night
But living is a mountain, or a house made from mortar
I cannot flow like a fountain, not when death is its daughter.

37. (H.)

Last night I had a fearless dream: if only dreams come true
You were suicide by cyanide, so I was then at last rid of you
I do not care for you; you took off my body
You ruined my life; one day you'll be sorry
I do not care for scum such as thee
Who have stolen aft my liberty
Who have taken my dignity, let it now be said
That you have no significance, whether you live or are dead.

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

5th May 2006 at 8:42 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

I suppose it is pretentious... I'm just posting these poems to try & get certain things out of my system.

Big nose strikes again

| 2,343 posts

5th May 2006 at 5:37 pm

Quote: Ron_Nasty_
Thee? Oh dear.

You know I was thinking about this comment today at work when I was drying up.

I was going to say: 'that sounds a bit harsh, no one's professing to be a poetry genius here.'

But I don't need to now.

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

6th May 2006 at 9:44 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

If you don't like my poems, don't read them. Writing these numbered poems saved my life. I suppose some of them are pretentious. 38 is pretentious and naive... but I
don't care.


No more screaming; they will not believe
They call you a traitor; a pervert, a thief
They take away your body, make muffled are your groans
They are sub-human, won't leave you alone#
When the government is overthrown
We will have freedom and respect
But I don't think I'll get over it
For I never could forget
When we are siblings, but not steeped with fascism
We will be dribbling with the fresh water of anarchism
United in Kropotkin, Proudhon, Bakunin
Overcome the b*ll*cks, whose right wing views
are looming.

39. (Inspiration.)

Inspiration is a piece of dirt, sobriety is a farce
A curse upon society, a finger up its *rse
Sanctity is false, the world is tinged with hate
Trembling, whilst dismembering
The fortunes which are no great
The world is a b*st*rd with no spasm of hope
It's worthless, and I can no longer cope
For the world makes me hurl; all it contains now is doom
A thousand tiny deaths, boinged in a second breath
Transparent in an icy tomb
All the ideas I have have gone to my head.

40. (Oblivious World.)

I wish I were with him; I wish I were worthless
If only I'd no feelings, could away the tears
But I cannot stop sobbing, my poor heart it keeps throbbing
And my brain has trapped in this hole for years
I've had too many heartbreaks, many more than I can take
I feel like the world has been killled, I feel guilt when I laugh
My memories are shattered, they are the few things that matter
For all that I have left of him is a photograph
Cold is my life now, my troubles and strife now
Are a common occurence that I know all too well
Tears and empty sadness
Have replaced all the gladness
Let it ring on and sting like a bell
I wish I were with him, I wish I were worthless
I wish I'd no feelings, could comb away the tears
But I cannot stop sobbing, my heart it keeps throbbing
And I cannot dispel all the paranoid fears
Fears that are crawling within me
Fears that do tarnish and trap
I cannot begin to explain all the pain, that hits me in the face like
a slap.

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

Big nose strikes again

| 2,343 posts

6th May 2006 at 5:25 pm

I didn't say I didn't like them

I was on your side, there.

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

8th May 2006 at 9:18 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

Quote: Diamonds_In_The_Dark_
I didn't say I didn't like them

I was on your side, there.

OK. I misunderstood. Thanks.

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

8th May 2006 at 9:40 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

41. (The Night I Lost My Life.)

I was dreaming and screaming and all words
seemed demeaning
They would cut me abruptly, dismay and disrupt me
They would cut me, disrupt me like a knife
It was then I discovered, I must be my own lover
The night I lost my life
The world is an onion; it has never seen me coming
In the darkness, turned away from such charms
If only he were with me, perhaps he could forgive me
Fow wishing that I were with him, held aloft in his arms
Along with the sawdust flowing round through my brain
The tears are coming, they are flowing like rain
There were days once when I had not a gripe
But now I've lost my life.

42. (Child of the Sun.)

Come to me, come to me
Child of the sun
Encircling everyone
Your vibes were so mellow, your fortunes so deep
The world continues regardless, it does not even weep
As if you did not matter, they pushed you away
Although my memories will always stay
I will never forget you, with your love dripping like wax
I will weep for you always, unless they take you back
There is no justice, they know not your worth
Despite their youth, telling the truth, is still like giving birth
May peace flow on like an ocean
Waiting for hope that could come tomorrow
May the world rotate unfurled in this motion
Even though all is blood and sorrow
One day there is hope and justice
The world will combine its design on liberty
The barriers will overcome but now the damage has been done
All I can do is use projection for a while
While I'm lonely, I only
Need to weep like the sea.

43. (Frozen Psychic.)

She's looking for signs that are making it worthless
A memory trapped socket, dripping away
This time passes on unturned, rehearsed but unfurled
And I don't know what I'm saying
What is dead is dead and gone
Be it misplaced or lost
Now I have no hope, to query on or to cope
The world once snowed, but now it turns to frost
Frozen psychic; the world says it doesn't like it
It doesn't understand
They don't know what to do; they persecute you
While they issue out subdued commands
They stare and glare, they never stay fair
They make slaves behave like a group of frozen yoghurts
Ignorance is bliss, chuck psychic knowledge in the mist
You've not even heard of Paula Roberts
Persecute minorities with films or with songs
You make psychics feign guilt, pain and shame
But who's really to blame?
Implying they are wrong
Frozen psychic, the world says it doesn't like it
It doesn't understand
They don't know what to do, they persecute you
While they issue out subdued commands.

44. (Tears, Hope and Memory.)

Tears, hope and memory
Your gifts, after you live, unto me
That's all I have of thee
For I've created my own strength and dignity
It's hard to forgive those who don't understand
I wish you were with me for a moment, just to hold my hand
But now I remember, for you seem oh so close
Though I'm glad I didn't have that overdose
Your spirit lives with me, your love shining on
Though you're no longer here, you're not forgotten
I won't use projections; it's against my belief
I'll have to be strong now, and control my grief
Though I now feel angry, I'll maybe forget
Tinged with a twinge of lack of hope and regret.

45. (Oh.) (I suppose "victim" is a negative word. It's just that I don't like changing things in my poems... not if I can help it.)

Oh my child; oh, my love
I know what schemes you're thinking of
How you'll take women's bodies and increase all their strife
Who cares if you're sorry you've ruined their lives
If they gave Vicious ghost status, it seems no-one cares
No-one could expose it; nobody dares
No-one seems to know
The continual lack of hope
The indignity viewed with hilarity, and the shame
Ignored are the cries
In pain, the victim dies
It's she or he, not the abuser, who is blamed
You worthless piece of disease
You hear no-one else's pleas
You regard others' sufferings as your privilege, covering crown
Your victims are viewed as just chewed lumps of plasma
Though you've ruined many lives
Hacking with a metaphorical knife
You watch their nervous breakdowns; held aloft by an orgasm,
orgasm, orgasm.

46. (Scream The Impossible.)

Scream the pedestal, held on a pedestal
Bring them back from the dead, garbed in black or in red
They ruined a society who favoured depravity
You wished only for freedom, but they covered their ears up
Give us the message with the chosen addressings
Scraped in the shape of mire and anarchic fire
The media favours convenient laws, so then it rejects The Cause
They find it a threat to their life and unnerving
Though there's more to sweet liberty of anarchy
Than drawing a little a in a circle.

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

Rayanne Graff

| 75,124 posts

12th May 2006 at 10:48 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

47. (Flow.)

Flow, like a ghost
Your spirits turning around in your grave
There's apathy on the coast
Of those who have made your mem'ry a slave
If only you'd come to me, fashioned in wire
If only I'd died instead first
Maybe you'll come back from the dead of the mire
Who knows? It could have been worse
Who knows if we'll ever learn anything
Of love or peace; I don't know, but my vibes are bleeding
Though, surely, from guilt and grieving, we feed
Death alone, is death indeed
Blood's on the forest; alone, barring hate
Our future's demising; our destinies irate
I will focus my mind on a far-away time
When alleged mind-expansion, is not considered a crime
May your memory flow on like a river
A true being is never forgotten
May your love grow on and neither fade or be gone
As I lie here; selfish, weeping and rotten
May your memory flow on, like a river
May your vibes turn the world out of sight
And blow on, hour by hour, like a wind-grooving sunflower
With soft moments compressed; it's time to say goodnight.

48. (Remembrance.)

I cast mine eyes, and swept mine mind; for grief is blind,
for remembrance
For though you're gone, I still think upon
You're loving and grooving self-temperance
They seem to be trying to deny you now
No-one ever claims it's unfair
PC will go; instead, hatred will flow
Someone said you'd 'snuffed it,' shows
The extent to which they care
If this be love, that I am thinking on of
My feelings aloft on a hope
There is little surprise, for the tears in my eyes
While I'm screaming that I never could cope
Belittled excuses, in an empty room
Like a cold, empty, distant flame in the night
Just as I once thought; the world, it is doomed
The reality of the mentality seems to be: kill those who do
not fight
There was some kind of silence in the air, when you died
Claim for doom, in a mental loom, when there's nothing left to do but cry
The reality was a gravity; I sit and wonder why
I think, somehow, of a butterfly; who suffocated, before it learned to fly.

49. (Yes, No, Goodbye.)

Yes, no , goodbye
The words, shaped and fashioned, on a board
If I can know those who die
That will be my only reward
I suppose I could then use a planchette
So my words will be writ automatic
I'm here, all  alone, with the dead's silent
But I don't think I'll ever be glad of it
Memories of the dead, who lived long ago
Unless I asked them, how could I know
How could I know, unless I asked them
How else could I risk disaster
With these words, spoken with the touch of a hand
Memories, fortunes, advices, demands
Who knows of the living, the living can lie
Remember, dismember; see it as a sign
Whether it be dowsing, ESP, or consulting the dead divine
Carved, as it always was; written in a line
Carved in a piece of wood; yes, no,goodbye.

50. (Death.)

Death is unfortunate, although it's a phase
Which murderers rarely desire
One time I looked to it, with hope and with praise
Now I can't take it anymore
I thought maybe, somehow, someone would alert us
And then, some time later, convert us
Thus saving many innocent animals
Mistreated on the grounds of human selfishness
Though death is a saviour, it's also our doom
As you live, you must learn to grow stronger
I know I'd feel safer, if I were now with you
It is hard for me to take it much longer
With hope out of the window, my arms fly akimbo; only to hit myself on the head
I wish I were with you, though, but your spirits glow on you
No matter what monstrosities stay said
When I was but a child, I saw your love and light
Which helped me with years of my sadness
Now you are dead and gone, your memory still lives on
With your hopes flowing on, this gives me gladness.

51. (Samhain.)

It is no longer Samhain anymore
So why does my body weep
For this beauteous one, whose song cascades on the ocean
Or scream his name in my sleep
(I didn't mean it in a rude way. It's just that I dreamt/ dream about him.)
Though my selfish tears have flown on, poor dears
I think you would have wanted me to be free
Besides which, I'm a psychic whose contacts don't like it
And a purveyor of anarchy
And with your body cast away from this world
Where will hope or happiness begin
Everything goes wrong, along in its turn
But everyone else is grinning a cheesy grin
May embryos cascade, in memory of a better day
No-one speaks on it, anyway; they've apathetically forgotten
In memory of a beauteous dream, when hope and love beads can be seen
What kind of naivete could this be?
I'll always remember.


There is no hope for this world anymore
In its state of doom and disarray
My spirit is weary, embellished with sores
Which were not there before he passed away
It is easy to live; it's only matter and breath
But the world it is doomed, on it looms in its hell
Where's the Goddess who brought you to your untimely death
It just seems so futile and alone with a smell
Like a lone teardrop, trickling on the face of this earth
Softly trapped, never fading away
Everyone else here is tripping with mirth
But I cannot resign myself with the memories in my mind
Your eternal beauty will always stay
In my heart, you always will be
More than a dream and a memory
A semblance of something I once hoped would be me
Uninfluenced of what's left of the fascist regime.

Edited by Rayanne Graff May 2006

EvilTongs: It's definitely a day of some sort
Dinglebutt: Wednesday.... *takes long drag of cigarette*.... Now that's a name I've not heard in many a year.....
Claire: Pals and pals, it is FNSIC again tomorrow, please let me know if you need the details.
Πανδώρα: Testicle.
Claire: Hi guys, I’m Tess Ticle and welcome to my TED talk
Lucozade Lover: Activity in 2020? Hooray, nice to see VR life.
Claire: I’d not go that far...a lovely lovely zombie perhaps
EvilTongs: It was bizarre how a group of us spontaneously returned when the pandemic stuff kicked off.
Vel: Bizarre or playing the long game? Hmmm, Mr Tongs?
Bellatrixa: I'm just here to reset my password and go about my business, trying not to cringe too much at how I was affected by the abusive f*ckwit I was living with towards the end of my time on this site.
Πανδώρα: AAAARRRGHHH. That is all.
Claire: Lisa I love Lisa, kindest regards to Lisaaaaa
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Eating Jaffa Cakes thinking about WLW...
Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie
Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.
IGH: Just who was The Brigadier
ratammer: squeak