Oi! Common People!

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to inform you that you will be required back at my surgery.
It seems that unfortunately your recent operation was not a success,
And the only remedy now is for you to be put down.
I do appreciate that this may be inconvenient but we have just discovered
That you no longer have a heart, the implant wasn’t put in.
We have found through research studies it isn’t advisable to live without a heart
It makes you colder and more spiteful than in your previous condition.
Therefore, as of NOW you have the legal rights of a dog, and not a person.
Your options are to either be put down or to live in my basement
With a bowl of dog food and a tray to sh*t in.
This way you will no longer be a danger to yourself or the public.
You are less than a dog, even a society of dogs does not deserve you.
And it also seems that our previous attempt at giving you a brain failed too
You have air between your ears, which doesn’t exactly compensate for grey matter
We are sorry for that too, you brain must have been removed at birth without consent
(Seems to happen pretty often in this world)
Which would probably explain why you are a sheep,
As it’s become quite obvious you can’t think for yourself.
And unfortunately your intestinal problems were too great for us.
In fact we found only soggy limp mush, with no trace of guts
This seems to be occurring more often nowadays, too many beings with no guts.
You were also found by a colleague of mine to have no vertebral column
This is quite a serious complaint, though it is an increasingly common one.
Being spineless seems to have become a trend; some beings have no spine just to fit in
With all the spineless beings around them, they think spineless is normal.
I suppose it’s actually quite sad, there’s absolutely no hope for you
You will live (if that’s what you call living) forever
As a brainless, heartless, gutless and spineless fool.
Which doesn’t really matter, as most of the world is anyway!
Humans? The most intelligent and powerful creatures ever?
Pah! They’re no better than dogs, frogs, hogs …FUNGUS!
But what about little green men?
They must exist, humans can’t seriously be the master race
Wake up!
Humans f*ck up!
Hoorah for the little green men!
Hoorah for #78!
F*CK YOU!
(And getting a bit carried away now)
And even I pretend I’m something I’m not, while I criticise the rest of the world
I’m fungus, I’m a sheep, I’m scum too: I’m just like all the bloody rest of you!
But really I’m not sure. Hmmmmm…

I think you have some good idea here, but my tip is not to include the last few lines, I think you should stick with the style of the opening lines all the way through to improve layout and make it more consistent.

Yeah me too.

Quote: hikey_

this is good~



aciiiiiiiiid? hmmm hehe

acid?! no way, i've never touched anything illegal, not even weed, in my life!