chess

Posted In: Poetry + Prose. Reading This Thread:

outcast

| 0 posts


23rd Aug 2002 at 9:33 am

 
old age names,
stairs and games,
in the start,
there were no shames,

the dizzy old men,
and the challenge the take,
trying to win,
a game thats fake,

disaster comes,
to the ones,
that choose to play,
and twiddle their thums,

one more houre,
and two moves they make,
oh my god,
how long can they take,

at last a strike,
the sudden move of fate,
they know ted lost,
when his old heart breaks..

*thlump*

dead.

yay i won!

1929

| 2,016 posts


23rd Aug 2002 at 9:23 pm

 
Just an observation...but you don't need a comma at the end of every line...
Triptoheaveandhoupdowntoandfroyouhaveno
wordtriptriptoadreamdragonhideyourwingsina
ghosttowersailscacklingateveryplatewebreak
krackedbyscatteredneedlesthelittleminute
goNg

uponthetelegram

| 0 posts


24th Aug 2002 at 1:17 pm

 
Just an observation...but does it matter if he has put a comma at the end of line? Thought not.


 
 
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