22nd Sept 2009 at 9:35 am
I aim to misbehave
Yeah, i don't know how he can be sure; he might get eaten by a lion tomorrow. Although i hope he doesn't as you wouldn't be able to have scammy fun with him.
22nd Sept 2009 at 9:40 am
River Phoenix
Quote: Rayanne Graff, Sept 2009Yeah, i don't know how he can be sure; he might get eaten by a lion tomorrow. Although i hope he doesn't as you wouldn't be able to have scammy fun with him.
Well, I was referring more to the fact that he's a soldier in Iraq, but yeah, lion's are good too
My time scamming will soon be at an end. My ad has expired from the website this morning. Tempted to put it up again, just to get scam emails, but I wont.
I may however email some of the old scammers back. Trust me, I will beat all the life out of this joke that I possibly can
25th Sept 2009 at 5:53 pm
I aim to misbehave
My Dear
Thanks for your answer and total assurance towards this business.
Honestly, I feel so relaxed in doing this business deal with you & I want to assure you with the life of my family that you will never regret doing this business with me.
I am a married man with two kids, I love my family so much & I will like to trust you with full hope & believe that you are capable to handle this transaction deal with me? I am willing to make the registration of the consignment in your name from the Red Cross Security company where the consignment is deposited by standing you as the real beneficiary of the box to ascertain the claim and you are to help me to clear the consignment in time of the shipment from the diplomat. Please noted
And as for your car, I am going to buy your car at your last selling price. Please consider your car sold to me and I will like you to remove it from the internet advert and pack it at your garage until I visit your country in view weeks time
Meanwhile I presently want to know your readiness to carry out the transaction deal with me? Because transferring the consignment to your designated country is not the issue; it is the sincerity and security in you that matters & hopes you are not going to sit on top of this fund at end? With due honesty, I solely accept to work with you, having in mind that your name and details have to be legalize as the real owner of the (BOX)
Because my depositing of the consignment to the security company refers that whosoever I appointed to them from Europe is entitle to be the rightful person to receive consignment box. But please note that the security company does not know the actual content of the box. I only told them that the consignment is a family treasury like books and Jewelries that belongs to my associate in Europe.
And I am very serious to bring this consignment to your country where I aim to start up my business investment and I will do exactly as I said. Since our new President .Obama has promise to Re-Deploy us back to the state very soon and I have thought it wise not to loose this great opportunity by transferring this Consignment to your country for our mutual benefit and your effort now will determine the successful conclusion of the deal.
Therefore I will like us to but heads together t actualize this firm in good faith as I have already bestowed my trust on you and I hope you are a very good person and I think this is the very right time to pay myself back for all I have suffered here in Iraq, couple with the lost of my friends lives here, Please, I need your full maximum support / trusted / honesty to regain this millions with you in top secret and I promise you that if you have not experience any miracle in your life before, you are going it witness it this time.
Meanwhile your genie intention toward this transaction of yours will prove to me as soon as I receive any of your attached pictures for more confidence in me to know whom I am dealing with. I am 100% ready to actualize this deal with you in good faith as soon as I receive any of your attached pictures to be sure of whom I am dealing with.
Please note that all our communication should be by mail because they are monitoring our movement here. We are not allowed to go out of the coverage area of the Iraq city as a result of suicide pumping. Everywhere here was very tight UP. Meanwhile I will update you as soon as I make the registration of your name with the security company in other to release the consignment in your favor
And Attached below is the COPY of my family pictures/
Regards
Capt Ben Mashall
MY FAMILY
ME AND MY SON
MY PERSONAL PICTURE
16.2 MILLION USD
Ben
You said a lot of words there and I just trust you so damn much that I didn't bother to read it, It disgusts me what you have had to go through in Iraq. I have long wished to be a soldier, and fight for what I believe in. But the army tell me that just because I believe in unicorns does not mean I can fight for them. Its a crazy system which we live by Ben, a system which gives dreams to many, but can crush more.
You have a beautiful family Ben. Treasure them. I have decided that you need the money more than me Ben. I look at your childrens eyes, and I see kindness, joy, innocence, lust and dreams. I don't need the money, and I would not feel right in taking it from you.
I have included some pictures of myself and my family too. I tell you, the last picture taken of me was a real pain in the neck
ME AND MY FAMILY
MY SON AND I - I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE HE IS
ME WITH SOME US SOLDIERS
MY MOST RECENT PICTURE
25th Sept 2009 at 8:12 pm
River Phoenix
25th Sept 2009 at 8:22 pm
I aim to misbehave
1st Oct 2009 at 8:22 am
I aim to misbehave
Hi Frank. I've been getting really worried about you as you have not replied to my letter. Is everything ok? I know making movies can be a really difficult process. After all, I was the assistant director on Gigli. If you have any questions or need any help I'd be happy to assist you. The car is still for sale, although it is now green instead of purple. I can't explain why or they'll kill my dog.
Hello Thanks for the mail....
i willl like you to know that am really glad about you talk an mailing me about the car...i want you to know that i still need the car but i have a lettel problem with my movie industry..that will cost me some amount of money....i will like you to know that i dont have the money to self the problem am haven now...i really need someone to help me out...i dont mind if you can help me i will be very greatful if you can be of help to me i promise i will make it up to you back.....get back to me as soon as you get my mail....
Can I be frank with you Frank? This all sounds a little risky. I mean, I have no evidence that you actually do work in the movie industry.
Wait, I have a great IDEA (I wrote that in capital letters to symbolise how great an idea it is). If you could send me some personalised autographs from the movie stars you are working with, then I'll have all the proof I need and would be glad to send you the car and pay you for taking it from me. Would this be possible?
Can you get them to make the autographs to say "Barry... Had a great time with you and those Swedish models last night. Call me if you want to do it again some time... (MOVIE STAR'S SIGNATURE)". Don't worry, this works for both male and female movie stars.
6th Oct 2009 at 1:55 pm
I aim to misbehave
Derek:
Quote:Okay man i dint know your answer to me here cos you are just saying wrong thing with my answer can i know your mined.
Me:
Quote:Derek, I am pleading with you, as I feel we are friends now. Please stop this. We have been emailing each other for the past few days, and now you are trying to act like we don't know each other. We have both shared intimate details of our lives with each other. I know you better than I know the son I gave up for adoption when he was still in the womb.
Derek, I think its time for you to come clean. You're doing drugs, aren't you? This is all a way for you to get high, isn't it? Your wife has left you, your kids don't want to see you, you've lost your job.... look what the drugs have done to you Derek. I suspected drugs when you failed to send me a picture of your wife. I guess I just didn't want to believe it.
You need to get your life in order man. To do that, you have to get rid of all the drugs currently in your house. I know you'll want to get high one last time, and I understand. So you should gather together all your drugs, and take them all at the same time. Now, this may have bad side effects, so you should probably drink loads of whiskey while doing it. You can do this Derek, I believe in you.
And just think, one you're clean, you can learn how to F*CKING SPELL YOU COCKSUCKER MOTHERF*CKING PIECE OF DIARRHEA
You may think I just insulted you, but thats just the drugs talking. I actually wrote some nice things about you.
you never tell me what is goingn again
Derek
Thank God you have found me. I apologise, I lost your email address. I had written it down, and just as I was about to hand it to my policeman friend, a bird swooped down and plucked it from my hand. I think the bird may have been blind, as I had some birdseed in my other hand which he didn't even look at.
Ok, we need to get this deal sorted out quick, as I forgot I have a nut intolerance and I may need to go to hospital soon. So how do you want to work this?
7th Oct 2009 at 11:14 am
I aim to misbehave
Okay i will tell you if you i have sent there to let you know how you cash so that you can following the nest step okay
I will like you to be my partner here if you want to make money okay tell me your mined
Oh Derek, I have longed to be your partner too. But what will society think? I already have a wife, and she will be devastated. But I cannot hide this inside me any more. Our love life has always been a sham. From the moment I yelled out "Albert" during sex and had to say "... Einsteins hair isn't as fuzzy as your pubes" quickly to cover my tracks, but I think she has always known. Deep down. Deep down in her vagina where my flaccid penis struggles to have any impact and just bends like jelly. Every Christmas, she buys me a version of Scaletrix which has pink cars and loads of flowers at the side of the tracks called Gay-letrix.
What will you do with your wife and kids? We could take the kids with us. I love children. I know lots of Knock Knock Jokes.
Knock Knock
8th Jul 2010 at 11:17 am
I aim to misbehave
My name is Williams scotts, Am writing you concerning the car pasted on Craiglist.org, i hope is still available for sale because am interested in buying ? I will like to know the condition and the best price you are selling, cos am very much interested in buying the car.
Please kindly get back to me as soon as possible, so that we can proceed on the payment agreement, let me know if you are okay with a certified check, hope to read from you as soon as possible.
For further details, Here is my mobile : +447011139598.
scotts_w@yahoo.com
Bye for now and wish you a great day.
Regards,
Williams scotts
Hello Williams
Yes, the car is still for sale, and I am perfectly happy with a certified cheque. I would like you to know however, that I will be making fun of you in the next few emails and posting them on the Internet for people to see and laugh at. This is a point only to note in case I seem a little strange or weird.
How many teeth does your mothers skeleton have?
8th Jul 2010 at 11:47 am
River Phoenix
8th Jul 2010 at 11:53 am
I aim to misbehave
What happens if you ring their mobile numbers?
8th Jul 2010 at 11:54 am
8th Jul 2010 at 2:49 pm
I aim to misbehave
Quote: Professor Frink, Jul 2010Quote: James, Jul 2010Weird bassy ringing, then an American guy answers
I go - in a bad Irish accent - "Is that Williams Scott?"
"What?"
"Williams Scott? Oi'm trying to sell me car, begorrah."
"Oh. Uh... Yeah."
"I have to leave for work now, but someone from my organisation will be calling later."
Any one with minutes fancy taking the baton?
Not only a genuine LOL but accompanied by a fit of giggles, well done.
Would do this right now but can't pretend to be you because I assume I sound marginally more feminine. Ideas? I have free minutes and an hour to kill...
8th Jul 2010 at 3:09 pm
8th Jul 2010 at 3:10 pm
I aim to misbehave
Man with an heavy African accent answers...
"'Ello?"
"Hello there, is it possible to speak to Williams Scotts? I'm calling on behalf of Mr. Barrington Smythe"
"Yes, are you in Dublin?"
"No, Sir, but Mr. Smythe is. I am calling to see if you are still interested in buying his car?"
"Yes, yes, 'ow much, 'ow much?"
"£13,000"
"Oh...that is...where are you calling from?"
"I'm calling on behalf of Mr. Smythe"
"Oh yes, the car. I will buy your car, send me details"
"So you have the £13,000?"
"Er..."
"It's just the car is jet propelled, you're getting real bargain here"
"Erm...ring me with details"
"I am ringing you, Sir"
"Erm...ok, ok, have a lovely day, Mrs."
*Hangs up*
I don't think he has the £13,000, Bar'...
8th Jul 2010 at 3:20 pm
I aim to misbehave
8th Jul 2010 at 3:39 pm
I aim to misbehave
It's definitely transferring somewhere else though...never heard that sort of ring before.
8th Jul 2010 at 3:46 pm
8th Jul 2010 at 4:08 pm
Technically sexy.
8th Jul 2010 at 4:20 pm
I aim to misbehave
You could try setting up a skype account for these, that way they won't get your number and it will be cheaper no matter what country they are in.
9th Jul 2010 at 9:30 am
I aim to misbehave
Williams,
I had someone from my organisation contact your office yesterday but they must have dialled the wrong number as the phone kept getting redirected. I would like to know if you are still interested as I have many numerous parties willing to pay over the odds for this vehicle. Wild parties. Parties with drugs and wh*res. And techno. T-t-t-t-t-techno.
Could you please reply as I'm having difficulties holding onto the car. It's warm and the bonnet is hot.
9th Jul 2010 at 6:11 pm
I aim to misbehave
Hi Barry,
How are you and your family, as well as work ? Am located at Maryland, but live and work in London. I can assure that am ready to handle the shipping of the car and every other things.
Please sold the Car for me, because am very much interested in buying as soon as possible.
I will like to know the condition and the best price you are selling for me, please kindly get back to me as soon as possible, including your details, such has your full name, phone number and your address.
I will be glad if you can give me a call to discuss better on phone +447011139598.
Bye for now and have a great day.
Williams Scotts.
Williams
I have managed to prevent other people from buying the car. Mainly by saying "No" to them. It has held them off thus far, but I can see them waiting.... watching.... eating....
I'm afraid I cannot discuss this with you over the phone as I no longer talk to anyone apart from my dentist. Funny story, he was actually the guy I bought the car from. He had to sell it though as he crashed it while driving under the influence of laughing gas. Well, at the time he thought it was a funny story.
Information about the car:
It has never been crashed. If you find any teeth, don't panic, that's normal. The car is very clean because we house-trained it. For anyone else, I would sell it for €1,700. But for you Williams, I am willing to sell it for €1,650 (please include €50 for postage and packaging)
12th Jul 2010 at 1:12 pm
I aim to misbehave
Hi Barry,
Is a great pleasure reading from you, How is your weekend been like, have been busy that's why have not get back to you, am okay with the condition of the car. Please kindly get back to me with your details, such has your full name and address, including your mobile number. So that i can issue out the payment as soon as possible.
Bye for now and have a great week ahead.
Regards,
Williams scotts.
Good to hear that you are busy. In these times, lots of people have no jobs and nothing to do with their day, having to resort to selling their bodies or sending emails to people to try and scam them out of money and possessions. You're probably too busy to have heard of such things. Keep an eye out Williams, these b*st*rds can be anywhere at any time. Luckily, I'm smart enough to see right through them.
So anyway, my name is Bartholomew Simpson (Everyone calls me Barry and i changed my last name after I got married). I live in 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, Co.County. My mothers maiden name is Bouvier. My blood type is AB+. I'm just not sure what my phone number is as vie never had to ring myself. Well, I rang myself once because I forgot my PIN number but I was the only one who knew it. Turns out I had actually been using my library card instead of my bank card.
What's your bank account details? I feel like I hardly know anything about you. Do I look like I've gained weight to you?
12th Jul 2010 at 1:58 pm
I aim to misbehave
Hi Bartholomew,
Am glad to read from you again and i can understand you better. I will issue out the payment for you as soon as possible, please kindly get back to me as soon as you receive my check. My shipping agent will be coming for the pick up of the car and sign the necessary document on my behalf.
Am sorry i can give out my account info to anyone, but i will issue out out a certified check. Please give me a call to discuss better on phone, +447011139598.
I hope your details is correct ?
Bartholomew Simpson
742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, Co.County
€1,650 / €2,800
Bye for now and hope to read from you.
Regards,
Scotts. W
That all seems fine Williams. The only thing I noticed was that you said €1650 / €2800. Are you giving me €1150? I must say, that is incredibly generous of you Williams, but I cannot accept. If you're looking to buy an 11 year old purple Toyota Corolla, then I think you need the money more than me. In fact, I would be honoured to simply just give you the car for free. I need not such petty little possessions. Hell, I can't even drive (as you may realise once you see the car)
I offer you my car and my friendship Williams. I would love it if you came and collected the car yourself. That way, we could meet and see what develops between us.
To get to my house, go to the main street, at the end, turn left after Moe's Tavern, go past the Kwik E Mart, down Bullsh*t Lane, at 'I'm taking the p*ss' Avenue, go left. If you see a sign that says 'You've gone too far', my house is the one after that. Do you like lasagne? I shall cook you a lasagne. You don't have to eat it here, you could just take it home with you either. I won't be offended.
13th Jul 2010 at 1:10 pm
I aim to misbehave
Hi Barry,
Thanks for getting back to me with your details, i will issue out the check as soon as possible. The actual amount on the check will be 2,800 euro, i need you to help me transfer the essence funds to my shipping agent, as soon as the check get cleared in your Bank.
Please kindly get back to me as soon as you receive my payment, so that i can instruct my shipping agent to come for the pick up of the car in your place and sign the necessary document on my behalf, such has change of ownership.
Can you please give me a call, i will like to discuss better with you on phone. Here is my private mobile : +447011139598.
Bye for now and have a great day.
Regards,
Scotts williams.
Williams! The car has been stolen! It was there one minute, and 46 hours later it was gone! I don't know what has happened. I went outside to get some milk, then I realised that we keep the milk in the fridge, so I went back inside. Then I decided to watch two seasons of 24. Before I finished the second season, my neighbour called me to say my car was stolen almost 2 days ago. And it was only 3 days away from retirement.
If you want, I am still happy to receive your payment, it's only fair if I held up that part of the arrangement. And at least this way you won't have to spend money sending your shipping agent out to get the car. This is a win/win situation for us both.
So, just to make sure we're both clear on what's going to happen. I get the money. I keep the money. I spend the money. And if the car gets recovered, I'll let you know by advertising it for sale again.
Deal?
19th Jul 2010 at 7:54 am
I aim to misbehave
Hi,
I see your selling this item .my sister would love to have her.she will be fourty eight soon and i would love to get her this as a birthday present,she will be very glad.So why are you selling it? Is the item still available?.you can contact me with my email .joyes4real@hotmail.com
Please get back to me asap .
Best Regards.
Nathan joyes
Nathan
Your name backwards is Nahtan.
Yours sincerely,
Yrrab
19th Jul 2010 at 3:32 pm
I'm sure skype lets you record calls?
29th Jul 2010 at 8:58 am
I aim to misbehave
Hello,
How are you doing?Am JOHN WHITE by name and i would like
to know if your CAR is still for sale and if its in
good condition i would like you to get back to me with
the last price and the pics if you have some,would
love to hear back from you soon.
Thanks.
Hi JOHN WHITE
Am BARRY. Have CAR. F*ck GRAMMAR. The car is in GOOD condition. My SISTER owned the CAR before BARRY.
The CAR has FULL service history, FOUR tyres, there is a SMALL stain on the back seat from where I F*CKED my wife in the ANAL.
Hope to hear from YOU soon
30th Jan 2015 at 8:51 am
I aim to misbehave
Dear,
Compliment of the day. Firstly, I must solicit your confidence in this transaction; this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well.
Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Attorney OSCAR JUAN LUCIO a personal attorney to Late Ms. CASILDA MANOLITA ……. , herein referred to as my late client. This email might come as a surprise to you, since there was no previous correspondence between us. My purpose of writing you is for you to help secure the funds that was left behind by my late client, to avoid it being confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Spanish bank where this fund valued 14.000,000.00 (Forteen Million Euros) was deposited by my client before her death.
The Bank has issued me a notice to present the next of kin or the account will be declared unserviceable and the fund diverted to the Bank treasury. So far all my efforts to get hold of someone related to her have proved abortive. I am actually asking for your consent to present you to the Bank as the Next of Kin/beneficiary of my late client's fund, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.
I shall provide all the legal documents to back up the claim as my client's Next of Kin. All I require is your honest cooperation and commitments to enable us achieve this transaction. I wish to point out that I want 10% of this money to be shared among charity Organizations, while the remaining 90% would be shared equally between us. This transaction is entirely risk free. I will use my position as the client’s attorney to guarantee the successful execution of this transaction.
Upon receipt of your response via email, I will provide you with details and relevant documents that will help you understand this transaction. e-mail me at (mroscar1@qq.com)
I wait for your favorable swift response,
Thank you.
Attorney OscarJuan Lucio
Hi Oscar,
Thank you for your kind email. Unfortunately, I will be unable to present myself as Ms. CASILDA MANOLITA's next of kin, for I... (pause for dramatic effect)... was actually her lover. The love shared by myself and Casilda (or "Casild" as I called her affectionately) was a love rarely shared by two people. The kind of love where you make sweet, passionate, sometimes scary love to your lover, but you also want to finish quickly because her sister is waiting for you in the next room and she's like 10% hotter.
Pretending to be my beloved Casild's next of kin would be a lie, one which would tarnish our everlasting bond. Well, I say everlasting, but in fairness she did die so I've kinda moved on.
What if you pretended to be her next of kin, and I pretended to be you! I could wear a sombrero and a fake mustache. And instead of keeping 90% of the money ourselves, we can give it all to charity! We'll be heroes! Like El Avengeros!
Kind regards,
Oscar Juan Luccio (wink wink)
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