The Big VR Movie Weview

Quote: I Am The Walrus, Sept 2010

Quote: Jamie McDonald, Sept 2010

I can't be arsed to do a full review as it was sh*te but he's my review of 'The Invention Of Lying' - "Sh*te".

I'm a big Gervais fan but this is the first thing he's been involved in that I've disliked. I mean, it had some good bits but just bleurghhhh....

I think I already did a review of it and thought it was sh*te too. Its highly unlikely that we're both wrong. That's just far too unlikely.

The most annoying bit was when he was insulted whenever someone said he was ugly or whatever. In a world where it is impossible to lie and nobody has ever lied before, nobody could possibly be offended at comments like that because you would hear them all the time. Plus, just because they cant lie doesn't mean they have to say every little thing that comes into their heads.

Plus Jennifer Gardner was like a f*cking child in the movie.

Yeah, gets a thumbs down from me too

Exactly that. That got me riled.

Was it me or did I see Ed freakin' Norton as a cameo as the cop who pulls Gervais and his ginger drink driving mate over? I know Ed Norton doesn't seem to do many films anymore but seriously, he's better than that...

No, I don't even know what that is! I used to love Ed Norton though


Anyone seen The Departed? I bought it for 3 quid as I've heard it's great.

Quote: I Am The Walrus, Sept 2010

Quote: Jamie McDonald, Sept 2010

No, I don't even know what that is! I used to love Ed Norton though


Anyone seen The Departed? I bought it for 3 quid as I've heard it's great.

Modern Family is a great show. Really funny

The Departed is alright. Didn't think it lived up to the hype, but I seem to be in the minority. For 3 quid, it's definitely worth the money though

The departed is the only film I happily watched again two weeks after seeing it the first time. I saw it the other week equally happily and would watch it right now if I could.

Where did you get it for £3?

Title: The Brothers Bloom.
Genre: Thriller and Comedy (i think).
Good actors: Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Racel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi.
Products Placements: None.
Minutes too long: None.
Deaths: Yes.
Attractive males: Mark Ruffalo?
Attractive females: Penelope and Bang Bang.
Best Quote: "I want an unwritten life".
Highlight: All the characters and story are really sneaky and twisty - it is really interesting and exciting, I think. - All the characters are helping eachother together, but they are going to betray eachother too, maybe? It is pretty sweet and romantic too - Penelope and Bloom are both really lost and isolated, and also they are all the things they do instead of all the things they really want - they are roles and hobbies, I think - they both really help eachother too. Please does it make sense at-all (i am sorry i cannot explain everything properly - i am really worried i will make lots of spoilers). Also, it is lots of really neat images and different camera angles too.
Lowlight:
Score: 9 favourite new camels out of 10.

Just saw The Social Network. Won't write review. Just go see. Damn good film

Quote: Dr. Harold Shipman, Nov 2010

Quote: Lord Havelock Vetinari, Oct 2010

Quote: Mr.Snrub, Oct 2010

Just saw The Social Network. Won't write review. Just go see. Damn good film

What he done said.

I'll be honest, I thought it was average at best. It didn't give a reason why he wanted to do any of it, and pretty much all the characters were horrendously unlikeable.

On the other hand, Despicable Me was excellent

I was bored by Despicable me.

Sociopath.

(I haven't seen it)

Quote: Rick Grimes, Nov 2010

Quote: Mr Bungle, Nov 2010

I watched Let The Right One In today.
I finished and thought it was ok but the more I think about it the more I realise that I absolutely adored it. Perfect film. You have to watch it.

Have you seen the remake yet? Or is this the remake I can never remember anymore?

Seriously, two years between the first coming out and a remake being released? Seems a bit nuts.

Same with The Girl with the dragon tattoo. I guess they think its justified due to the language changes, but really it isn't. Just not worth it

If I'm watching something by myself, I generally stick the subtitles on most things anyway. It's far too irritating a habit to do around people.

Title: Skyline
Genre: Sci-fi
Good actors: David Zayas, of Dexter and Oz fame.
Products Placements: 5D Mark II Canon camera
Minutes too long: 87
Deaths: One or two aliens and pretty much the entire human race.
Attractive males: Eric Balfour, if he shaved.
Attractive females: In order of hotness: Crystal Reed, Scottie Thompson, Brittany Daniel.
Best Quote: I think I stand more chance bedding the entire female cast of this production, than I do finding a quote from Liam O'Donnell's intellectual abortion of a script, I'd be happy to label even halfway mediocre.
Highlight: The special effects were pretty nice, I guess.
Lowlight: Pretty much everything else. This movie is Cloverfield meets Independance day, meets getting home one night to find your mother dead on the kitchen floor, with her throat slit and her corpse in the process of getting dry-humped by the family dog. F*cking horrific. The characters are so wooden they could easily offset LA's entire 219-year carbon footprint, have less layers than a single side paper of A4 paper and are at the very best, detestable. This is mostly down to the terrible script, devoid of any real plot direction, backstory, intelligence, realism or credibility. This story has more holes than the back of Jean Charles de Menezes's head and as an event, made for equally unpalatable viewing.

Whilst I understand that alien invasion is stretching the realms of plausability somewhat, being trapped in an appartment, only a couple of miles from the hypocenter of a nuclear explosion (the military attempting to take down one of the motherships) and the blastwind doesn't even make it to the windows. I mean, really? And it gets better, David Zayas's character is looking directly at the explosion through a telescopic lense and suffers nothing more than say thirty seconds of flashblindness. Retinal burn is clearly no match for that man. Oh and later, there's the scene when two of the 'actors' are on the roof of the skyscraper. A dogfight rages in the sky above their heads. One of the alien craft downs an f-16, which crashes directly in front of them, unfortunately bouncing just high enough to miss wiping these soulless pricks by all of three feet. The drag alone would've cast them to a much deserved death, let alone factoring in any residual heat from the tail end of the aircraft. That's just what I can remember. The ending is just dreadful, by the way. Truely f*cking dreadful.

The casting is nearly as bad as the story, too. Turk from scrubs should stick to voice-acting. Eric Balfour and Scottie Thompson clearly owe someone another blowjob for landing them this gig and with a bit of luck, Crystal Reed will do a playboy center fold or two then f*ck off back to obscurity where she belongs.

I have absolutely nothing good to say about this film. One of the worst movies I've seen in years. I was so hyped from the trailers, as well. Which only goes to show that you really can polish a turd. Do yourself a favour and don't even download it when it makes it's way to the torrents. You will never get that time back.

Score: 1 brain-eating copy-and-paste alien out of 10.

Title: Monsters.
Genre: Science-fiction.
Good actors: Scoot McNairy and Whitney Able.
Products Placements: None.
Minutes too long: None.
Deaths: Yes.
Attractive males: Andrew?
Attractive females: Samantha.
Best Quote:
Highlight: It is really neat all the monsters are really amazing and exciting, but they are not important so much - they are like regular animals now, I think. The infected zone and all the monsters are about lots of different ideas, I think - it is lots of ideas about immigration and Mexico - everything is really ruined and broken and trapped. Also, Andrew makes lots of photographs, but he does not help anyone at-all - he is like lots of newspapers and news programs, I think.
All the monsters are pretty scary and terrible, but all the controls and reactions to the monsters are lots more terrible and dangerous and destructive. It is really silly and sad!
Lowlight: None.
Score: 9 raaah!s out of 10.


Title: Megamind.
Genre: Cartoon.
Good actors: Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt, David Cross.
Products Placements: None.
Minutes too long: None.
Deaths: Yes.
Attractive males: Metroman?
Attractive females: (i have a tiny crush about Roxanne. um).
Best Quote:
Roxanne: Aren't you forgetting to stamp my Frequent Kipnappee card?
Megamind: You of all people should know that promotion was discontinued!
Highlight: It is one of my bestest cartoons for really ages, I think - it is really funny and smart, and also it is lots of neat and different ideas too. - Lots of bits are pretty dark and thoughtful. Also, all the actors and voices are really good too.
Lowlight: None.
Score: 8 forget-me-sticks out of 10.

Quote: the doc, Jan 2011

Quote: Batshi Tinsa-Ne, Dec 2010

Quote: the doc, Dec 2010

I watched Juno the other day. The girl in the lead is brilliant and I really wanted to like it but unfortunately I thought it was a complete pile of tits. Ania made me sit through the second Bridget Jones film the other day as well. Bleurgh.

Which did you prefer?

Juno, I wanted to like, but whilst watching it, I just want to yell at the screen: NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT! SHUT UP!

Tough call, they were both b*ll*cks.

The speech thing is just a continuation of the cancerous poisoning of the English language that was started by Dawson's Creek and taken to horrible extremes with the Buffy series. Grrrr.

Oh my goodness! - It is really not true! - Nearly every movie has lots of different words and patterns and speechs, but they are really not real and true at-all, ever. Honest to blog! - Lots of movies and quotes are really fun and important because they are really smart and different and random. Really real speech patterns and scripts would be really messy and scatty - people do not talk in complete sentences so much (i *think*. i am not sure).
Also, lots of old movies have perfect English and perfect accents, but they are really rigid and stilted, I think.

Also, Buffy and Dawson's Creek did not butcher the English language at-all. - They are both so smart and creative and intelligent - Bill and Ted, Clueless, Mean Girls, Buffy, Dawson's Creek, Brick, Gilmore Girls all really use and explore and expand language to create worlds and feelings and characters. Language is a weapon, I think! It is like The Wire and The Sopranos too, I think - They are all *really* creative and emotional, and also they are really articulate too. - Lots of speechs in Buffy and Joss Whedon shows are really beautiful and poetic, but they are not dumb at-all. It is lots of new ways to explain everything, I think. Please does it make sense at-all?