Notebook Letters 12.

Posted In: Mega-Zine Chat. Reading This Thread:

Rayanne Graff

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23rd Dec 2013 at 12:32 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Silly story

Aornis: Hi. Thank you for covering my break.
Daisy: It is OK!
Aornis: It is so quick- it is like lightning!
Daisy: Yes! You hear all your conversations, like, three seconds later!
Aornis: Sorry?
Daisy: Nothing.

Little Blue Fox

Not bad. I thought it could've used some more exclamation marks, though.

Zine; 26th of August, 2008; 4/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 12:59 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Beer bellies are not a myth- alcohol does not target the gut.

* Birds are suffering from the "harmful misuse" of mobile phone apps that mimic birdsong.

* There's a previously undiscovered sixth layer in the eye's corner- the Dua layer.

* Cats born with two faces are known as Janus cats.

* Chickens lost their penises because of a gene called Bmp4.

* Until recently the US Navy had a requirement that all official messages be sent in capital letters.

* Men are to blame for the menopause.

* A flamingo-like pterosaur usd gravel to aid digestion.

* A protein called myoglobin allows mammals including whales and seals to hold their breath underwater for an hour.

* Venezuelans are using mobile phone apps to locate scarce toilet paper.

10 things we didn't know last week; 14th of June, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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23rd Dec 2013 at 1:01 pm

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River Phoenix

 
Thinning the tripe

Well, last week the newbies were well above par so the latest batch can pick up their light sabres and gorge themselves on the nachos, brownies, muffins, ice cream, jelly and nummies. Well, apart from Vaseline Vic, who will just have to stay chained to Jabba The Hut and dance for his pleasure, or it's the Rancor pit for him.

Princess Psycho

Sith Lords? Rancor pits? So ends this impromptu anorak special.

Zine; 26th of August, 2008; 5/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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23rd Dec 2013 at 1:36 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
The riddle of Batman

Whoever plays the next Batman villain has a major task on their hands to equal the legendary Heath Ledger's Joker. How about Johnny Depp as Riddler?

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 22nd of December, 2008; 4/6.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 1:40 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Official

Mondo It's offiicial. We're not freaks. We are biologically-enhanced human beings. At least I think that's what Chloe said in Smallville last week.

There's only one reason I watch Smallville, Mondo. And it ain't Chloe.

Matth Stil The Visa 2012 London Party-talk about jumping the gun!

I'm still smarting after those ham fisted handover officials bumped me for Leona Lewis.

Zine; 27th of August, 2008; 1/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 1:49 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Copper piping may be the cause of bad hair days.

* Tunnock's caramel wafers are big in Kuwait where they are known as "boy biscuits".

* Some Rolls-Royces have branded umbrellas embedded in the door.

* Dutch is the third most popular language for Wikipedia pages (after English and German).

* A common smell of old books is a hint of vanilla.

* Google have pantented a walking stick with a camera on top.

* Dad dancing is now in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED).

* Clapping is a "social contagion".

* You can map a room in 3D using echoes.

* Cabbages reach their vitamin peak at noon.

10 things we didn't know last week; 21st of June, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 2:14 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
To Vaseline Vic

How sweet of your friend to care! I'm getting softer in my old age as I just said sweet and didn't refer to cookies or candy-bracelets or cake. Remember candy-bracelets? Dolly beads, we called them. No idea why. We fired them at each other from across the playground. Then they got banned cause some idiot got one in his eye. He got an eye patch for a while which made him look like a pirate so all was well with the world. One Winged Angel

Did I forget Love-In-Week or something?

Zine; 27th of August, 2008; 2/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 2:19 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Interview just the job

On the subject of vampire films, I think Interview With The Vampire is my fave, then The Lost Boys and Blade. I'm quite looking forward to Twilight and its sequel, New Moon. C, London

Wow, so it's official. Sam Neill as Clayface and Rachel Weisz as Catwoman in the next Batwoman film. Brilliant, cannot wait. Dabion, South Emsall

Empire is getting repetitive. Bored of all these remakes. Pete, Aston

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 22nd of December, 2008; 5/6.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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23rd Dec 2013 at 2:24 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Ziner Lionel Richie songs

Endless Love: The Psychedelic Gloom (because Gloomy is a long time Ziner).
Hello: The Mad Scheduler (a bit scary).
Dancing On The Ceiling: Elden Ray (weird, witty and one of the best).
Closest Thing To Heaven: One Winged Angel (for obvious reasons).

Aphra The Post-modern Spy, Hector's House

Surely at least one Ziner could have qualified as Easy.

Zine; 27th of August, 2008; 3/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 2:29 pm

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River Phoenix

 
* It's not the "Spending Review", it's the "Spending Round".

* Plants can do maths.

* The European Parliament produce a colouring book called "Mr and Mrs MEP".

* The Queen has no passport.

* Adult male chimps throw at one-third the speed of a 12-year-old little league baseball pitcher.

* The shock wave from an asteroid that burned up over Russia in February travelled twice around the globe.

* Deutsche Telekom use the slogan "Call & Surf Comfort via Funk".

* The US's first modern extradition treaty was signed with Ecuador in 1872.

* Ikea are designing flatpack homes for refugees.

* A reptile with knobbly growths on its head roamed the desert260 million years ago.

10 things we didn't know last week; 28th of June, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 2:34 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Back to it

I have just woken up from a long sleep and discovered the world is not round, it's a tube. You go in at one end, say hello to everybody, and fall out the other end. I think I'll go back to sleep.

Daddypoos, Wigan (Ann O'Rack)

Don't worry- Mabel will be in to turn you every hour.

Zine; 27th of August, 2008; 4/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


23rd Dec 2013 at 3:48 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Confusion over Calvin

Calvin Harris has vowed to let fans hear his new single, despite Sony not knowing what it is yet.

Harris told myspace.com/calvinharristv: "You'll hear my new single within 30 days. Exciting!" But, when asked for details, his PR told PS: "This is news to us. As far as we know, the first single hadn't been decided yet!"

The single will be the first new song since 2007's I Created Disco album.

1/7.

Drunk Lennon demo at $36k

A demo made by John Lennon when he was drunk has sold for $36, 000 at an auction by Bonhams in Los Angeles.

The six-minute version of Lloyd Price's Just Because was made in 1973, during Lennon's 18-month "Lost Weekend" when he had separated from Yoko Ono.

It sees Lennon improvise lyrics including "Just a little cocaine will see me right." A regular cover appeared on Lennon's 1975 album Rock'N'Roll.

2/7.

R2 celebrate 50th

Michael Jackson, Madonna and Prince's most successful 30 singles are counted down on Radio 2, daily at 2pm from December 29 in 30 At 50, to mark the singers' 50th birthdays. It also has a show to mark Motown's 50th anniversary.

ZZZ, who release new album Running With The Beast on January 19, tour next month at: Brixton Windmill (28) Bristol Thekla (29) Dublin Whelan (30) Belfast Limelight (31) Glasgow Captain (Feb 1) Manchester Night & Day (3).

3/7.

Fish quits after scare

Fish has retired from music "for at least six months" after a cancer scare.

Doctors found an irregular cell growth in his throat. The ex-Marillion singer told myspace.com/fishofficial "I'm 50, I smoke, drink and have a colourful lifestyle. I've sung at 1, 700 gigs. It's like standing in the M1 and expecting not to be hit by a car."

He said he hopes to recover in time to play a festival this summer.

4/7.

Back in black

AC/DC Singer Brian Johnson has signed a deal with Penguin to write his memoirs. Rather than a straightforward autobiography, Penguin said the book will be "a collection of Brian's thoughts and anecdotes."

The Horrors' Spider Webb and Tom Furse have formed side-project band Spider And The Flies. Their debut album Something Clockwork This Way Comes is out on February 2, produced by the duo with Barry 7 of Add No to X.

5/7.

A new Metric system

Metric have finished recording their new album, which they say will be released early this year.

The band are currently touring their native Canada to preview the follow-up to 2008's Live It Out. One song is called Help I'm Alive.

Emily Haines told ilovemetric.com: "We are in a great place. This band has always been epic, because it's four people who love to get into trouble."

6/7.

Dirty friendly things

Carl Barat has said that Dirty Pretty Things have renewed their friendships since the band split up.

"Democracy can't always work," Barat told NME. "I was a bit idealistic. I wanted a band of brothers and friends. We had that for a while. Occasionally things went awry."

He added: "The day the expectation and the regimentation of the band died was the day we became friends again."

7/7.

Teletext page 821; 23rd of December, 2008.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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23rd Dec 2013 at 3:51 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
A serious point

I'm sick of being back at school already. Seemingly, so is my pen Cuthbert. He has just been convicted of seriously stabbing a jotter. He is now doing a long sentence. B'dum-dum... oh, s*d it. You don't love me like you did two weeks ago.

FightingTorque

You'll need to work on your tsh if you want to keep my attention.

Zine; 27th of August, 2008; 5/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 2:25 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Ampersand was once an actual letter which followed the letter Z in the Latin alphabet.

* Worldwide, 27% of people say that they paid a bribe to get public services last year.

* Finland hosts a world wife-carrying championship.

* The film Life of Brian remains banned in parts of Germany, but only on Good Friday.

* Thresher sharks hunt prey with their sticks.

* Tabasco is on the Queen's shopping list.

* Singing in a choir is good for your heart.

* The Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams is the most frequently misquoted song in the UK.

* The EU fund a jellyish monitoring programme.

* The manuscript of Samuel Beckett's first novel, Murphy, was covered in doodles.

10 things we didn't know last week; 12th of July, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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28th Dec 2013 at 2:27 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Laugh?

Government Bloke Is being WLW a full-time job or do you do it for a laugh?

Well, that's the first laugh I've had in a while.

The Janitor I hate Bank Holidays. They never bring back exotic gifts.

Maybe a b'dum, but definitely no dum-tsh.

Zine; 28th of August, 2008; 1/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 4:29 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Maybe Simon Cowell wanted to be different in choosing Hallelujah as the X Factor single. Would you rather hear yet another cover of that tired old slushfest, Unchained Melody? It's refreshing to see a reality pop winner try something with a bit of depth to it but, yes, Jeff Buckley's version is much better. Dionne Jones

I'm overjoyed to see She & Him at No 16 in PS's LPs. Its sweet delights put a smile on my face. Kevin Lee

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 1/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 4:41 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Fairy fancy

I've just seen H*llboy 2. Is it just me or are the tooth fairies sooo cute? I think I'll send some to OWA and PP, to help deal with the newbies. Lol.

Gothic Fairy

Your little fancies are as predictable as Mabel's lemon surprise pudding...

Zine; 28th of August, 2008; 2/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 4:51 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* There are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming. Elevators are more commonly used.

* Plants and insects can catch s*xually transmitted diseases.

* Urine can be used to charge a mobile phone. Just half a litre of the stuff allegedly produced enough power to make a six-minute phone call and send several texts- not such a waste after all.

* There are more than 1, 000 species of banana in the world, yet the global banana trade is based on only one- the Cavendish Banana.

* Scotland has only three outdoor public swimming pools.

* Lettuce was a sacred s*x symbol to the Ancient Egyptians.

* Large herbivorous dinosaurs grew new teeth every month.

* Captain Bligh interrupted the mutiny on the Bounty to save the ship's chronometer.

* The CIA tried to copy the shoes containing a poison-tipped knife used by Rosa Klebb in the 1963 film From Russia With Love.

* Dogs do not, contrary to popular belief, see in black and white but are sensitive to colour. They have two kinds of colour receptors unlike humans who have three, allowing them to see limited shades of colour.

10 things we didn't know last week; 20th of July, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 4:55 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Sprinkles The Rude Cat

What's that, Sprinkles?
*meow*.
It is amazing all the digits for all the multiples of nine add up to nine too?
*meow!*.
Yes! Oh, gosh, wait- it is not 99 and also 189 and -
*meow meow!*
Oh my goodness- you should not say it. It is mean. I am sorry I broke your theory (you did not round up pi at all or anything...).
*meow!*.
Gosh! I do not know what that means! Rude cat.

Little Blue Fox

Sprinkles isn't related to Basement Cat by any chance, is he?

Zine; 28th of August, 2008; 3/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 5:16 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
"Simon Cowell's funds were down/ He searched the heavens with wearied frown/Agree with his disdain for music, do you?/ His victory in the Christmas chart/ Leaves blackest stain on the purest heart/ For Cohen and for Buckley, hallelujah." Jamie Macdonald

The best live albums are often by bands with the most striking image. Angus Young on his impaled guitar, Lynott on leatherclad knees. I can't imagine rushing to buy a Kooks one. C Findlay

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 2/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 5:18 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
If Ziners were wrestlers

Little Blue Fox- Big Black Panther
Vigilante Maelstrom- The Vigilante
Smashed Strawberry- Hector Van Smashinator
Daddypoos, Wigan- Dinky Winky

You don't need one, WLW, White Line Warrior's good enough.

Paddy Irishman

Surely you mean Rowdy Paddy Piper?

Zine; 28th of August, 2008; 4/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

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28th Dec 2013 at 5:57 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* A patas monkey would beat Usain Bolt's 100m world record by three seconds.

* The Olympic Village has its own mayor.

* Vampires were a worry in Bulgaria 700 years ago.

* Modern pop is louder and less varied than that of the 1950s and 1960s.

* Between Laos's first Olympics in 1980 and 2004, all its competitors came last or second-to-last.

*. Men's brains are designed to shut down after s*x.

* The larger its horn, the healthier is a male rhinoceros beetle.

* A single artificial intelligence programme or "bot" can create 30, 000 Wikipedia articles in one year.

* Nit combs are much older than previously thought.

* The 750, 000 feral camels that roam the Australian outback are now the world's largest wild herd.

10 things we didn't know last week; 27th of July, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 6:49 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Poetry Corner

They're all so pretty and I'm all so plain,
they get all the credit, the fans and the fame,
I do the hard work while they're getting l***,
I sit behind them just wearing my shades,
I wish people recognised me some more,
but that's what I get for being Jim Corr.

Vigilante Maelstrom

All very well, but has Andrea and her tin whistle ever made it to the Zine?

Zine; 28th of August, 2008; 5/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 6:55 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Sandy's right. It's time Ian McNabb had a mention on The Void. All his stuff, solo and with The Icicle Works, is pretty d*mn good. Plus, his work introduced me to Neil Young, so thanks. Gaztheplank

With talk of Britpop revivalism, can I direct Voiders to Phonogram: Rue Britannia? It's spot on in its observances and in warning of nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia. And for its dislike of Kula Shaker. Tyler Durden

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 3/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 6:58 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
WLW throws a sickie

Transcript of phone message left on the Teletext answering machine, Fri Aug 29, 10.20am. "Hello, it's WLW [fake cough]. I'm not feeling well [cough] so I won't be coming to work today. I [cough, cough] should be OK on Monday. Bye [cough]."

* Dashes to catch a flight to Dublin *

Zine; 29th of August, 2008.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 7:03 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* The least common PIN code is 8068.

* Monogamy evolved to keep baby killers at bay.

* The average Frenchman eats only half a baguette a day, compared with almost a whole baguette in 1970 and more than three in 1900.

* When a cat lies on its back it wants its head scratched.

* Soap and clean water make children grow taller.

* Bookshop customers are six times more likely to buy romance or cookery titles when they smell chocolate.

* A hummingbird's brain accounts for 4.2% of its bodyweight, the highest of any bird.

* David Cameron is an Alt-J fan.

* Grapes hit by hail stones produce wine that tastes corked.

* Fish with interesting surroundings are brainier.

10 things we didn't know last week; 3rd of August, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 9:02 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Still clawing away

Of course Gothic Fairy and the Lil' Tooth Fairies from H*llboy are as cute as buttons, still why use them on Newbies who are innocent of the ways of Zine? Instead, use them on obnoxious people like the person who cancelled Invader Zim. It is either that or I get my claw hammer out and do the job.

Princess Psycho

Arrghh, not the claw hammer. Put it away before you have an eye out.

Zine; 1st of September, 2008; 1/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 9:13 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Oh, how we laughed at The Winner's Song by Peter Kay's Geraldine McQueen, especially when it beat the real thing, Leon Jackson, in the chart. However, is Kay now heading towards Tony Ferrino territory? The Snowdog

There's a band in Hereford called The Elements who finish their storming set doing Hallelujah in 2min 11secs. I've timed it. That's two verses and choruses, a break and another verse and chorus. How hard can it be? Mr Sparkle

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 4/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 9:17 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Piston problems

My car broke down.
I was asked: "What's wrong with it?"
I said: "Piston broke."
He said: "Me too."
(Every egg a bird, eh) Lol.

Daddypoos, Wigan (Polly Tix)

"Ouch," (sharp intake of breath), "That's gonna cost," (tuts). "It's not an easy job," (shakes head). "I've gotta get parts in from Germany, see," (scratches jaw). "I'd get onto your insurance company, if I were you."

Zine; 1st of September, 2008; 2/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 9:25 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Chimpanzees and orangutans swim a form of the breast stroke.

* Meetings at Amazon start with Jeff Bezos and his executives silently reading six-page memos for up to half an hour.

* American children eat five times more magnets than 10 years ago.

* Dolphins recognise each other after decades apart.

* A dog bowl covered with surgical tape is more effective at catching bedbugs than the market-leading trap.

* Scientists still don't really know how bicycles work.

* Two million North Koreans now have mobile phones.

* A relative of the piranha can be found swimming off the coast of Sweden.

* In parts of north Lincolnshire, a 30-step ladder is known as a "thotty stabber stee".

* The word "get" went out of fashion in books between 1940 and the 1960s.

10 things we didn't know last week; 10th of August, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 10:14 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Pen power

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Daddy Irishman and I decided to test this out. After we got back from t'hospital, where they successfully re-attached two of his fingers, we agreed that it's probably just an old phrase.

What happened to his fingers? Mr T ran over them in a tank whilst chasing a guy wearing sandals and socks.

Paddy Irishman

The pen isn't even mightier than a fjord, I'm afraid.

Zine; 1st of September, 2008; 3/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 11:42 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
My contribution to the Hallelujah contest: "I had an idea in the back of my head/ Potting around in my garden shed/ I love my beer so much, so why don't I brew ya?/ So I got the hops, I got the yeast/ Left it fermenting for several weeks/ Cracked open a bottle and hallelujah." Tony Vegas

All hail Simon Cowell for killing music, from getting a barely-singing band member as a judge to Leona Lewis Mark II killing Hallelujah. Ross O

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 5/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


28th Dec 2013 at 11:45 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
The pits of Rotherham

Can I say sorry to OWA? My sponsored walk took a dive in Rotherham. I went into a house for a pee and a strange woman threw me into a pit and and robbed me. She eventually let me off with a drivel-laden tongue-lashing.

*iese* *ic*

You should count yourself lucky, some people have to pay for that sort of thing.

Zine; 1st of September, 2008; 4/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 12:09 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Sauropod dinosaurs probably had stiff necks.

* You can track migration by monitoring vegetable sales.

* Gandhi was worried about people skim-reading his work.

* The first recorded incorrect use of the word "literally" was in 1769.

* Climate change is altering the taste and texture of Fuji apples.

* Women who fear being forced to marry abroad are advised to hide a spoon in their underwear.

* There's a Kenyan tradition of running naked at night.

* Ecosystems still feel the effects of animal extinctions from ancient times.

* Police in Seattle distribute information about local drug laws using packets of Doritos.

* A small raccoon, also known as an olinguito, lives in the cloud forests of Columbia and Ecuador.

10 things we didn't know last week; 17th of August, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 12:14 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Global warnings

Why do I get all the bad luck? 15 years ago, scientists told us we were heading for an ice age, so I bought lots of jumpers. Now we've global warming, I have to sell my warm clothes at a loss.

If we shot all scientists, the problem would go away. In fact, shoot everyone and leave the world to us loonies. It may not last long but it would be fun.

Gummy Bear

My application for leader of the loonies is in the post.

Zine; 1st of September, 2008; 5/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 12:20 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Top 10 albums of 2008

1) The Seldom Seen Kid Elbow
2) Antidotes Foals
3) Intimacy Bloc Party
4) Falling Off The Lavender Bridge Lightspeed Champion
5) Nights Out Metronomy
6) You Have No Idea Does It Offend You Yeah
7) Midnight Boom The Kills
Eight) Box of Secrets Blood Red Shoes
9) Elephant Shell Tokyo Police Club
10) Twenty One Mystery Jets

Spring Heeled Jim

The Void; Teletext page 825; 23rd of December, 2008; 6/7.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 12:24 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Me, myself and I

I'm very disappointed that you don't use my letters any more, WLW. My therapist said I should stop hiding behind ridiculous personae and dtry to be myself.

Drivida Pentler

Such is the flood of insane ramblings that only a select few manage to make it to these hallowed pages, I'm afraid. Unsolicited bribes can help, though.

Zine; 3rd of September, 2008; 1/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 12:30 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Nasa employ a "chief sniffer" who smells materials and components before they are used in space.

* The most tweeted moment of all time was when Japanese TV screened a classic anime film.

* Birds are aware of speed limits on roads.

* Toilet users in Shenzhen, China, can be fined if they fail to urinate accurately.

* Polyamorous people have invented a word to indicate the opposite feeling of jealousy- compersion.

* Volcanoes in New Zealand once were warriors, believe the Maori, who also regard these mountains as ancestors.

* US Supreme Court justices use ivory paper memos rather than emails.

* Donkeys in Kenya's Rift Valley take "annual leave" from their owners.

* Wolves howl more when they lose a close friend.

* People shown silent videos of piano competitions can pick out the winners more often than those who are also played the music.

10 things we didn't know last week; 24th of August, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 10:44 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Anecdotal evidence

Are your audience clearly growing bored of your anecdotes? Try one of our new guaranteed Anecdote Closers: "But all along it was a turtle playing Twister!", "Then he dropped his hand", "So we all did the Time Warp" and many more! I came up with these by myself here in my bedroom with lemon-yellow walls and lime-brown carpet.

Rose Timp

Ah, but the problem is you need to have friends to use them on.

Zine; 3rd of September, 2008; 2/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 10:51 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
By John Earls

Top 50 singles of 2008

14) OASIS The Shock of The Lightning

Dig Out Your Soul saw Oasis expand their horizons, mostly successfully, but here was a proper old-school blitz.

Brief, shouty and energised, this was as wired and snarling as their earliest songs like Columbia, with Liam Gallagher back to sounding like he can batter all comers with a flick of the finger. For once, Noel Gallagher actually undersold its electrifying, taut thrills.

1/4.

13) KEANE Spiralling

The notion of "Keane go dance" may have brought thousands of people out in hives, but Tim Rice-Oxley is too canny a songwriter not to know his limits.

Rather than ape any Justice futurism, here was a glorious nostalgic '80s trip, too succintly pop to bother with the era's retro cool. Bowie, Prince and Talking Heads were all thrown back with manic glee, not least in Tom Chaplin's euphoric woohs.

2/4.

Teletext page 822; 23rd of December, 2008.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 10:54 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
The missing link

I've been away for three weeks touring the Hebrides with Boswell and Dr Johnson. There are websites to get me up to date with Corrie but can someone tell me what's happened in Megazine?

Just in a few words, life being short.

Friend of the 18th Century

Well, where to start? Ziners managed to bring peace to the Middle East, end world famine and had darts recognised as an Olympic sport. It's been quiet.

Zine; 3rd of September, 2008; 3/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 11:01 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* Wearing camouflage clothing is an offence in Barbados.

* Some 20 million people in the UK and Ireland have genes that produce red hair.

* The first known use of the verb "to twerk" was in a 1995 single by the rapper Cheeky Blakk.

* A valley longer than the Grand Canyon is hidden beneath ice in Greenland.

* The average personal space boundary is between eight and 16in (20-40cm) from a person's face.

* Light therapy helps bullied mice overcome anxiety.

* Qatar takes into account people's occupations before deciding whether they can apply for a driving licence.

* Texters who send messages to a driver may be held liable in the event of a crash in New Jersey.

* Steve Ignorant, singer with anarchist punk band Crass, now works on a lifeboat.

* The average age among employees in the US restaurant industry- including fast food outlets- is 29.

10 things we didn't know last week; 31st of August, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 11:06 am

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Mr Grumble

If people insist on wearing Mr Men t-shirts, could they please pick ones that match the wearer's personality?

I had a Mr Happy scowl at me on the bus, a Mr Lazy playing football with his son, and a Mr Perfect wearing a Burberry baseball cap.

Now I assume those who phone my office all wear Mr Clever shirts.

Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller

Maybe Ziners should start wearing Mr Nonsense shirts, then.

Zine; 3rd of September, 2008; 4/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:03 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
By John Earls Top 50 albums of 2008

14) THE BLACK ANGELS Directions To See A Ghost

More intense freak-outs from a band who are more of a messianic cult than a rock & roll outfit.

More wired than Spiritualized, more questing than Black Mountain, more melodic than BRMC, they had it all and managed to make their lysergic visions sound casual. Why they aren't more revered is a mystery, but for wide-eyed pyschedelic jams they're rapidly becoming untouchable.

1/4.

13) PORTISHEAD Third

The Guns 'N' Roses album was decent enough after 17 years. But, for a long overdue return, this 11-years-in-the-making triumph actually sounded like it had taken all that time to master.

Genuinely pushing music forward without getting lost in its own experiments, the music was harsh and unforgiving, Beth Gibbons sang as if racked with demons, yet it was also bleakly beautiful and often moving.

2/4.

Teletext page 823; 222nd of December, 2008.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:06 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
The whole tooth

I got my ickle Tooth Fairy and learned a valuable lesson about handling them. If you squeeze them they don't make amusing noises, they make a high pitched scream and the head explodes.

I'll just get my Fairy Princess suit on and fill in for it, little Timmy will have to lose those teeth tonight. Luckily I got my Claw Hammer.

Princess Psycho

Little Timmy could be a rich boy tomorrow. Toothless, but rich.

Zine; 3rd of September, 2008; 5/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:15 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* The notion of drunk people going on late-night cow-tipping sprees is scientifically implausible- it would take five people of average strength to tip a cow.

* The typical internet user has seven passwords to manage 25 online accounts.

* You need an 8ft-high table to ensure toast lands butter side up when dropped.

* A Great Dane dog was awarded the Blue Cross Medal in 1941 after she extinguished an incendiary bomb by urinating on it.

* Richard III suffered from a roundworm infection.

* Saint Martin's Summer is the traditional British phrase for warm weather well into autumn.

* Whales get tan lines.

* The earless Gardiner's frog listens with its mouth.

* Curved glass buildings can melt cars on a sunny day.

* Dutch police employ live sniffer rats.

10 things we didn't know last week; 7th of September, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:18 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
A bunch of tea leaves

I was mugged the other day. The mugger stole my favourite mug. Afterwards, while looking at my mug in the mirror, I became angry and my mug turned red. I went out and searched for the mugger who mugged me. I managed to get my mug back but was still so angry that I threw my mug at the muggers' mug. It broke. Buy me a mug, WLW!

Paddy Irishman

Sorry, you're not my cup of tea.

Zine; 4th of September, 2008; 1/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:20 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Robin's redundant

Anyone else think Robin should be consigned to the camp predecessor Batman TV series and films? Batman's image is now of an outcast loner. I don't see how Robin can help to aid new storylines. Frank, Donegal

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 23rd of December, 2008; 1/6.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:22 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
Why do people walk round in circles when using a mobile phone? Do they not work if you stand still?

Daddypoos, Wigan (Aunty Septic)

I'm not sure I like your tone, Daddypoos.

Zine; 4th of September, 2008; 2/5.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*

Rayanne Graff

| 76,001 posts


29th Dec 2013 at 1:32 pm

Rayanne Graff - River Phoenix

River Phoenix

 
* There's a polar bear jail in Churchill, Manitoba- an old aircraft hangar containing 28 cells for bears who wander into town.

* The Volkswagen Beetle was originally called the Strength Through Joy Car (KdF-Wagen).

* China has 10, 000 mooncake makers.

* Stephen Hawking owns the last three machines in the world that gave him his distinctive voice as the company that made them has gone into liquidation.

* A 1928 Yiddish-English-Hebrew dictionary may be the first official record of "meh".

* George Bush Sr once played keepy-uppy on David Frost's lawn.

* Children who read for pleasure are better at maths.

* Prince William relaxes to buffalo and cricket noises played on his iPhone.

* Glaswegians are starting to sound like Cockneys because of EastEnders.

* After the collapse of a Roman bridge in the 4th Century there was no closing of the Danube between Romania and Bulgaria for 1, 000 years.

10 things we didn't know last week; 14th of September, 2013.
*[http://www.vegetablerevolution.co.uk/uploads/549604.jpg]*


 
 
Πανδώρα: Beefy cheesemas to all, and to all a gravy brie
Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.
IGH: Just who was The Brigadier
ratammer: squeak
IGH: Wibble
Vel: *sigh*
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Rayanne Graff: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Lucozade Lover: Happy New Year!
Crinkle-Cut Beatroot: Happy new year <3
Claire: BOXSHOUT
Rayanne Graff: Happy Easter.
Emma: So… Posting a new thread is Fission Mailing… so I’m putting this here.
Emma: I know there aren’t many people looking at this anymore… but I have made the decision to stop paying for the VR hosting and to let the domain lapse.
Emma: I think it will be going offline around the end of May
Emma: It’s been almost 10 years since James passed away… and I feel like it’s time.
Emma: A lot of the regulars can be found on the VR veterans group on Facebook - if you see this and you’re not in there, come join us.

 

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