Notebook Letters 6.

I've read PS from the start, and would like to thank you for introducing me to Bon Iver. What an album For Emma Forever Ago is. Matt Weston

Great to see the big interview with Robin Guthrie on PS. He had a hand in the most beautiful album of all time, The Moon And The Melodies, which Cocteau Twins made with Harold Budd. Be warned, it's credited to the four of them by name. I listen to it about three times a week. Adam Syntax

The Void; Teletext page 827; 23rd of October, 2008; 3/7.

I'll retract some of my criticism of Muse, after playing Black Holes a bit more. I can see its appeal, as it's varied and epic, but it isn't my cup of tea. However, I still say Matt Bellamy sounds like a bad Thom Yorke and I can't understand how he gets away with it. John Ox

Freeviewers are dealt a poor hand by Electric Proms, with several major acts only on satellite. A BBC event should be available to all. Eve's Treasure

The Void; Teletext page 827; 23rd of October, 2008; 4/7.

The Boys were great at London ULU last week. I enjoyed jumping up and down with the other middle-aged balding beer bellies down the front: it was worth the 29-year wait to see them again. It's sad it was their last ever gig. I felt very lonely walking home, knowing I'll never see them again. It's like losing a loved one. Eamon Quinn

Does anyone know what Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family are up to? That Girl

Void: Good question. We'll get digging.

The Void; Teletext page 827; 23rd of October, 2008; 5/7.

Top 10 golden-era rap bands

1) Funkdoobiest
2) Black Moon
3) EPMD
4) 3rd Bass
5) Ultramagnetic
6) Compton's Most Wanted
7) Brand Nubian
Eight) Showbiz & AG
9) Lords of The Underground
10) The Alkaholiks

Rich A

The Void; Teletext page 827; 23rd of October, 2008; 6/7.

New singles, by Innes Weir

Adele Make You Feel My Love 5/10

A tasteful, if pontless cover, of Bob Dylan's haunting classic, this is sigle five from her 19 album and critical knives are sharpening. Yes, she can carry a tune. But so can most of this year's X Factor finalists.

PINT SHOT RIOT Holes 8/10

The upstart kids on the Midlands guitar scene deliver a brash, anthemic beauty here. Like The Fratellis in a foul mood, here's a singalong for bad boys.

1/6.

New singles out next week

LAURA MARLING Night Terror 8/10

A curious track to release from her album, this mournful, string-laden oddity is spellbinging nonetheless. She might have more in common with Joni Mitchell than pj harvey, but Marling does dark with thepoise of a master.

THE VIRGINS Rich Girls 7/10

Were Frenz to cover the rolling stones' miss you, it would sound like this strangely addictive slice of NYC crunk funk. Effortlessly groovy stuff.

2/6.

New singles out next week

THE PADDINGTONS What's The Point In Anything New 6/10

Cynics might ask what point there is in The Paddingtons trying to sound like The Clash. That said, this sparky, punk-like banger is a devilishly catchy response. Purist bores will still hate it, of course.

THE RAID Oh Lilee 4/10

Plodding. clichéd rawk in the vein of Black Crowes, it makes you wonder where The Raid will end up. Woolworths' bargain bin looks like a decent bet.

3/6.

New singles out next week

AIMEE MANN Thirty One Today 6/10

The "Pop for grown ups" tag will haunt her forever, but, listen objectively, and this story of birthday blues is a beautifully understated study in melancholy. Imagine Carly Simon singing a Neil Finn standard and you're there.

helen boulding It's You 4/10

Uh-ho. Here's the sort of dull songwriting that does deserve stick. Schmaltzy, ponderous gash for cruise ship bars and Butlins.

4/6.

New singles out next week

KEITH Up In The Clouds 8/10

Recalling the dark psychedelia of World of Twist, this is spacerock with guts and tempo. Chin-strokers will love the nods to Neu and Can, but it's not worth studying like that. Smash it out at full blast and prepare for mayhem.

WAVE MACHINES The Greatest Escape We Ever Made 7/10

The shadow of Hot Chip looms large, but there's a kookier, surrealist side to this that will delisght stoners and disco kids alike.

5/6.

New singles out next week

GOLDEN SILVERS Magic Touch 8/10

Sounding uncannily like Orange Juice at their pop-perfect, euphoric best, Magic Touch is a harmony-drenched joy. Rhodes keys and machine gun drumrolls add delicious retro flavours to one of the giddiest, loveliest tracks of the year.

DANIEL TSE Broken Wing 2/10

One of the most hideous, manufactured piece of pop trash you'll ever hear. This makes Rick Astley sound cutting edge. Beyond average, beyond help.

6/6.

Teletext page 823; 23rd of October, 2008.

The Perfect Film

Worst director? Michael Winterbottom. Worst film? 9 Songs. The man needs to work with a script. Is it just me, or have there been too many zombie and superhero films (and I like them) lately? Gary Makin, Liverpool

Vortex: Too many superhero films.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 29th of October, 2008; 1/6.

HM is best Bond

Favourite Bond film is On Her Majesty's Secret Service. The closest adaptation of a Fleming novel, a great Bond girl in Diana Rigg, a fantastic instrumental score, Telly Savalas as Blofeld, a cracking story with a tragic, uncharacteristic end and Louis Armstrong's beautiful theme song.

The fact it contains the worst Bond is irrelevant, showing that the formula is more important than the actor in the title role. S Ramsay, Cheshire

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 28th of October, 2008; 2/6.

Live And Get Wrong

Re: Lee Rawlings' comments on Live And Let Die. Was there a deliberate mistake by Vortex when they put on this comment. It didn't star sir sean. It was Sir Roger! It was even on TV over weekend! Everything else was spot on, though. Trying to stir up the best Bond debate again maybe? Jamie, Merstham

Vortex: It was the viewer's error: why should we correct? Incidentally, many letters can't be used because they're incomprehensible.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 28th of October, 2008; 3/6.

Craig is chunky?

In your 27/10 feature you described Daniel Craig as "chunky". In that case, my slight beer belly makes me obese. David Whistler, West Mids

I'd like to spread the word. Burn After Reading, top film. Anon

Mirror moment: Diary of The Dead: the Andrew Maxwell character says: "Mornings show us for what we are and not what they think we are". Damien, Birmingham

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 28th of October, 2008; 4/6.

Thunderball is best

Best James Bond film would be Thunderball, the first one I ever saw and at the time was six. It was a treat my parents took me on and the sharks and underwater frogman fights were all a six-year-old boy could ask for!

I have not yet got around to seeing Daniel Craig's Bond films but I thought he was excellent in the TV series Our Friends In The North. Jeff Brooks

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 28th of October, 2008; 5/6.

Dragon has best

Best end fight scene: that would have to go to Bruce Lee and the one-man army Chuck Norris at the end of Way of The Dragon. Everything else fails in comparison. Orochi Oni

I'm sorry, but the Scary Movies series is not so clever. They are terribly tired spoofs for idiots. How could your reviewer get it so wrong? Simon Reed

Vortex: The Scaries are probably the cleverest horror spoofs. Ever.

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 28th of October, 2004; 6/6.

Comedy box set is missing films

I recently bought the 21 DVD Laurel And Hardy box set; great film from the world's greatest comedians. But I was disappointed to be told that it's missing several comedies. Can anyone tell me the missing film titles and where I can get them? Thanks. Andy, doncaster

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 20th of October, 2008; 1/6.

Films made me cry

I saw two terrific films from the 1960s at a lady friend's house, Far From The Madding Crowd and A Man For All Seasons. Both made me blub quietly into my popcorn. Tony, Salisbury

I passionately recommend Jose Larraz's Vampyres with its sensual eroticism and ethereal beauty. The female vamps quench their desire for blood upon libidinous males within the walls of an English Gothic pile. Import the uncensored DVD. t rivers, suss*x

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 20th of October, 2009; 2/6.

Terminator stole ending

Anyone remember Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982) with Fred Ward? Its ending was copied by the terminator. Reza, Huddersfield

Re worst horror movie- I recently had the misfortune to watch Wrong Turn 3. It takes terrible to a whole new level. Harmz, Glasgow

One film I think would make a good remake is City On Fire with Leslie Neilsen. James, Chester-le-Street

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 20th of October, 2009; 3/6.

Ross no match for Kermode

Andy- I totally agree with you about Mark Kermode getting his own radio show. He's miles better than two-faced Ross. John Garrett, Lurgan

Andy- I totally agree with you about Jonathon Ross. He spoils Film 2009. Mark Kermode would make a great presenter. I get the feeling that the programme is losing viewers. Why is it on so late? Danny, Primrose Hill

Vortex; Teletext page 817; 20th of October, 2009; 4/6.

Platinum Man If any of you dudes support Wigan Atletic, put your hans up. Anyone? Ah well, my donkey's eating up the carpet, so I best go!

Saved by the donkey. Story of my life...

Sykopathik Mushroom Oh sorry, I fell asleep. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was reading one of Spiky Stuy's lett... (snores)

Would you like a job? Perfect Davord stand-in.

miss snaz Why is a slug trail silver?

Because blue ink is harder to digest.

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 1/8..

I know I should send this following little remark to The Void or even page 388, but I haven't because I wanna annoy any Ziners who say I have bad taste in music!

Top six Take That Band Members:

1 Gary 4 Howard 2 Robbie 5 Mark 3 Gareth 6 Jason

DJ Dave

Everyone knows Gareth Gates is a Westlife not a Take That clone.

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 3/8.

Talk To Frank

Have you seen those drug advice ads, the ones where they tell you to talk to "Frank"?

Is that the same Frank the heavily drugged Donnie Darko sees? Who happens to be a 6ft, facially scarred, one-eyed man in a bunny rabbit suit who only Donnie can see and tells him the world will end in 28 days?

Howlin' Pelle

No wonder they think it's a mad world.

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 4/8.

Tiddlywinks

Today, while walking home from school, I realised that the house next door to me is up for sale. If this was bad enough, the people living on the other side of me also had their house up for sale.

If they cannot stand the Chili Peppers at full blast most nights then good riddance to them. Viva la loud music revolution.

The Chinchilla Flavoured Gorilla

For once I pity estate agents.

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 5/8.

Minesweeper

Spontaneously Combusting Penguin, can we form Minesweepers Anonymous? After using the bombs to spell out words, I finally read the rules and- bang! I could play. And gotti schmotti, I haven't stopped since. I also got really offended when one of my friends asked if you just had to press random buttons until you win. I mean, really.

Magical Me

Have you consulted Dougie?

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 6/8.

I'm Back!

Respect to da man in in the ice cream van. 'Tis I, HP Baaxter. Long time, no see.

I had the most interesting chat with the Brigadier yesterday. Apparently, he is an even bigger Scooter fan than me, so watch out, samurai hedgehog, cos Scooter fans are here to stay! Mwahahahaha!

HP Baaxter

If he plays them Scooter no wonder he gets through French maids so quick.

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 7/8.

The Morning After...

After looking after my "tipsy" friend at a party last night I have found out a few things about him.

* He has a morbid fear of pretzels and must stamp on them all.
* He wants to touch another boy's nipples.
* His favourite hobby is sliding.
* When he hears the word "thong" it translates to "bowl" in his mind.

Congealed Cheese And Ham Toasted Sandwich

At least you're just friends. You didn't kiss, did you?

Zine; 24th of February, 2004; 8/8.

The Owl of Bewilderment There is no such thing as a beautiful loser- we are all ugly.

Speak for yourself, you cheeky pup!

Mercy Nuts I'm 18 and I miss sleeping in my bunk bed. What does taht say about my social life?

That no one wants to play sleepovers.

Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller Have you ever seen an Ikea advert that makes sense?

That's not the point. They're cheap. Like the rest of it.

Zine; 25th of February, 2004; 1/8.

Wacky

Isn't it annoying when people try to be wacky? When they tell you those dreaded words, "By the way, I'm just insane." Liars.

If they were really insane, they'd have tried to tell me about the wonders of magical timecubes or tried to convince me someone had built a coalshed in my hand. Which, to be honest, would be more interesting than wacky people.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

Or that saying: You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps.

Zine; 25th of February, 2004; 2/8.

Wow- I Had A Dream About Princess Psycho

ME: "Hey there."
PP: "Slap."
ME: "Ow, what's wrong with y..."
PP: Slap.
ME: "was it something I said?"
PP: Slap.
ME: "I'm sorry, can we be fri..."
PP: Slap.
ME: "I'm gonna leave now..."

The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning

Thankfully you kept the dream details brief.

Zine; 25th of February, 2004; 3/8.