*An Interview With Griffplar of Doom.
*Questions by David-James and Strawberry.
How come you really like Megazine? I just found it years ago and it was so random and funny and friendly; and still was...
Who are your bestest Mega-ziners ever? Vigilante Maelstrom, Lilac Leopard, Paddy Irishman, The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning, Insane Jam Sow, lots really...
Which Mega-ziners do you think are really bad and annoying? M*nd*. I don't remember ones I used to dislike in the old days.
Which Mega-ziners have influenced all your letters? Colin helped me get my joke right once, but otherwise I like to think it's my own madness. If anyone did, I'd feel sorry for them.
Where does the inspiration for your letters come from? I tried to think of funny things, failing that, whatever popped into my head; usually quotes.
What types of letters do you think are really neat and cool? Original ones, ones that are funny, ones that mention something when I've been thinking about it maybe...
How come you started writing to Mega-zine again? Colin brought/asked me back. I'm glad he did. I get to bother you all and got to get some letters in before it ended.
Creative and ignored or boring and famous? Which would I prefer? I'm sort of boring and ignored, but I suppose if I got to be creative that would be an improvement.
If you'd never found 'Zine, what would you be like now? A tad more depressed, and I'd probably be a lot more lonely out here in Spain, without you guys to talk to.
Chocolate or jelly beans? (White or Milk) Chocolate.
What's your favourite chocolate bar? I don't really have one, sorry...Milkybar?
Which is your bestest Simpsons character? Ralph perhaps? I haven't watched it in ages...
What is your favourite Simpsons episode? Erm...22 Short Films About Springfield, or the Film Festival one with "Man Getting Hit By Football (Hans Moleman)"
Karl or Lenny? Lenny.
What are your bestest books and movies and bands? Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Back to the Future; Queen, Muse, Evanescence.
What was the last book you didn't bother finishing? Not exactly didn't bother, but I haven't read Spanish Hitchhiker's translation or Spanish Twilight yet.
What song gets you dancing? Anything by Queen (that I know already).
What song makes you cry? Well, the end sequence music from Klonoa...
Dirk Gently books or Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy books?I've not read Dirk Gently yet. :/ I love Hitchhiker's 1-4 though. Not so keen on Mostly Harmless.
Trillian or Fenchurch? Tricia McMillan from the 2003 film, phwoar. But otherwise I disliked Trillian in the brilliant TV series. Was Fenchurch the later on one?
What is your bestest Pokemon? Cubone and Snorlax I liked (wanted the Snorlax cuddly toy), but in the games I've played, Blastoise.
Why should you use all your superhero powers for evil? There's a fine line between evil and personal gain. And I like to tread that line every day.
If you could travel back in time to any era, which would you go to?Possibly 1980s... I like the music and films, but would want to come back soon.
If you were a robot, which robot would you really want to be? Bender from Futurama. Easily.
Do you think there is a tiny alien inside your head like in "Men in Black"? It's not an alien, I think that tiny thing is my brain.
Do you believe in aliens? Not really fussed either way.
Do you believe in ghosts? They might exist, but I doubt they are on all these Most Haunted type things.
Please can you tell everyone a secret secret about you? But if I did, then it wouldn't be secret...Ok, I am scared of being alone and I get claustrophobic as well.
Name something really popular that you hate. Coffee.
Name something really hated that you like. Apple/Macs (Almost all of my friends hate them, but I love them).
What are your bestest Spanish words? Sombrero (actually means any hat) and trabajaba. It means "worked" in one of the past tenses.
Do you have a siesta every day? No, I have real trouble sleeping here. Plus they're annoying.
If you were God, what seven changes would you make to everything?Make useless/bad drugs not exist, stop poverty and hunger, make a cure for cancer, allow people to feel more comfortable, not let there be crime, stop discrimination and something positive about letting people be themselves (as long as they aren't a murderer or something).
How many times do you look in the mirror every day? Twice, when I brush my teeth.
Which historical figures do you most identify with? Not really sure, sorry; my history skills are really bad. Plus, seeing as I feel insignificant - they wouldn't be an important figure.
Did you have an imaginary friend when you were little? Don't think so.
Would you rather have no hair on your head or no eyebrows?Tough one. I had a dream where I had practically no eyebrows after the dressing room before going on TV. Um...Going to lose my hair anyway, but I don't want to.
Have you ever been attacked by an animal? Not that I recall.
Do you have any nicknames? Griff, Griffplar, The Griff
If you were a sandwich filling, would what you be? Prawn mayonnaise. F*cking love it and might actually be more appealing that way.
If you were to appear on Jerry Springer, what would your episode be called?(I don't know what they're normally called...)
If aliens asked you to live on their planet for five years, would you go? Having enough trouble being without people I care about for 18 months, let alone 5 years. No, I would send them to someone else who would appreciate it.
Do you eat apple pips? Are you scared apple trees will grow in your tummy? No, I just don't think they look tasty.
Would you watch a public execution on TV? No. I just wouldn't.
*Word Association.
- Davord... Omnipresent.
- DeLorean that got struck by lightning...Genius.
- Elden Ray...Who? (sorry).
- emma-the-'lil-angel...Irritating.
- Farmer Jack...Ooarr.
- Freshly Squeezed Cynic...Better than concentrate.
- Insane Jam Sow...More like Awesome Jam Sow.
- Juinor Minister...Responsible.
- Little Blue Fox...Innocent.
- Lilac Leopard...Awesomely great.
- Menome...Fruity pervert (in a good way).
- Mondo Ray...I don't really like him.
- One Winged Angel...Sephiroth *choir like on Karl Orff music*
- Paddy Irishman...Brilliant.
- Smashed Strawberry, Hector's House...Popular homeowner.
- Spiky Stuy...I forget D:
- Topper...Great.
- Vigilante Maelstrom...Amazingly great.
- WLW...Giraffetastic.