Please vote for your bestest letter in January.
The closing date for all the votes is 23/2/2009.
Please vote!
1. On the face of it.Looking at my watch, I noticed that the minute hand keeps chasing the hour hand. It's so unfair. It's bigger and faster than the hour hand. The second hand just keeps saying "I'll be there in a minute!" but then just walks on by. But I'm not going to let this keep happening, oh no... not on my watch.
Colonial Foot Soldier.Someone's in line for a right ticking off. Or maybe there's no need to get so wound up about it?
And so on...-----
2. Friend of The 18th Century. My New Year's resolution is to acquire better habits. First I need to break into a convent.
I love the smell of a pun in the afternoon.-----
3. Bright sparks.SB: Have you got a light?
Guy: Of course, I'm an electrician!
SB: Bwahaha!
Guy: Smoking is bad for you, just ask my friend over there.
SB: Is he a big smoker?
Guy: No, he's a fireman!
SB: Bwahaha! How could Madonna not want to stay with you?
The Shamrocking Bogman.I always knew that Sarah Brightman had a nasty streak in her.-----
4. New Famous Five books.Five Go Mad At Helms Deep.
Five And The Great Ginger Beer Robbery.
Five And The Infinite Sadness.
Five And The Secrets Of The Minotaur.
Five Defy The Picnic Ban.
Five Did Not See Anything And Have Been Legally Bound Not To Talk About The Incident.
Four Go To The Pet Cemetery.
The Boy Who Leapt Through Time.Richie was always my favourite.-----
5. 'Zine drinking game.Ancient punchline used. *Glug*
List of ridicululously irrelevant puns. *Glug glug*
Braking Tree insissts on breing a trewe. *Glug glug gelg*
Sprinky tehCat say someth entirey inappropropriapt. *Glug glug gluglug*
I ply this gsame evvy day THen I wrte into MegaZonnne!! HIII.
ROssessss TInpog56hy7uxx!!1.On behalf of the 'Zine sub editor, I curse you.-----
6. Big biscuit dilemma.Oh WLW, what a can of worms you opened with a simple question. "Is a Kit Kat a biscuit?" you ask. The wafer says yes, but the chocolate says no. I might have one with a cuppa... so biscuit. But also at the end of my lunch... so chocolate bar. They are in the biscuit aisle of the supermarket, but by the till in a confectioners. Please help. I'm going to need a J*'*** C*** to calm my nerves... UH-OH, here we go again.
Stouffer.We're partying like it's 1999!-----
7. A cry for help.My old school friend is getting married next week. You know, to a woman and everything. They have a house and proper jobs and there'll probably be kids at some point. Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone eating biscuits and emailing a giraffe who edits an obscure Teletext page. Tell me, where did my life go so wrong?
Insane Jam Sow.Patience, my pretties. At my signal, we unleash hell.*Please vote!